Friday, February 23, 2007

bestfriends, ex-friends till the end

mood: very very sleepy watching: jimmy kimmle live hi, so yeah after yesterday's throughly depressing post. i am happy to report that i am feeling better today. some thanks are in order so thank you to all the people who commented yesterday. you all made me feel so good. and ecspecially big thanks go out to hoaryu who left me the longest comment i've ever recieved and even sent me a follow up PM later to make sure i was alright! thank you hoaryu! *hugs for him* well also yesterday i managed not to mention fall out boy! see lordsesshomaru i can do it! XD hmmm well tomorrow our school is having a weird schedual day. where sixth hour will be during first hour, fifth hour during second hour, ect. which means i won't see danny until lunch time! boo new schedual you suck! i also wanted to ask you guys something: 1. could you guys tell me if the video in my profile works for you? it doesn't work on my home computer or the one at school so i was wondering. something else that's been on my mind as of late is the otaku rankings here on the myo. a few ok a lot of my friends are senior otaku's or otaku ledgends. so i was wondering how does one achieve such a title? i mean i always thought it was just about popularity but i could be wrong so i thought i'd ask. out of lack of anything else to talk about i decided to post a kinda funny story that again involves danny. (wow alot of my post have involved him lately) but i gotta stop posting about danny because i'm just feeding his already huge ego! (just kidding danny) well a while back danny, my brother, and i were all sitting in the computer lab after school and danny was talking on aim to a girl he knew. i was sitting next to him so i read some of his conversation here and there but mostly i wasn't paying attention until danny told me something strange. he told me that the girl he was talking to claimed to have seen danny's "ghost" in her bedroom late at night. now danny and i found this hilarious so he told the girl that next time she saw his "ghost" that she should try to have sex with it and she said that she would try! (ok danny it's time to stop picking up girls from the loony bin!) well after getting his permission i decided to post some pictures of danny since i talk about him so much. ok this first one is what danny looks like everyday minus the hat i just thought this one was funny it's him with wet hair this is the other way danny usually looks notice the hat! well i didn't just post pics of danny for no reason i wanted to ask your guys opinion on something. i really truly think danny looks like this guy: pete wentz from fall out boy or this guy brendon urie from panic! @ the disco so what do you guys think? do you think my friend danny looks like either one of these guys? alright time for me to go to bed if you read through this mostly pointless post thank you! ~redmoonchick~ the thing about charlie is that he doesn't seem scared to be going to the army, no he seemed so calm and i envied him for that. of course my parents are proud of charlie as are most people we know and yet my father still only spares me passing glances apparently still angry about the jail mishap. my life and the lives of my friends were somewhat still normal, except for the huge surprise that patrick pulled on everyone, he got married. yes patrick married his high school sweetheart sarah less then two weeks after our draft conversation. their wedding was small and intimate with the only attendants being sarah and patick's parents and of course the boys and i. our lives wasn't the only thing that stayed the same, the news did too. everyday i'd see the news and they'd talk about the same things, like the bombing of pearl harbor, hitler and his devious nazi's, the president speaking publicly here and there, it was all the same. except for today, today an annoucement was made that something called a "draft drawing" would be held tonight at 7:00 and that anyone's whose birthday month was called would be immedintly drafted and sent out shortly after that. upon hearing the news while i ate breakfast that morning, i immedintly dropped my fork and ran to the phone then proceeded to call patrick, pete, joe, and andy. after talking to the four of them i sat in silence at the kitchen table head in my hands wishing with all my might that pete wasn't right. we had agreed to watch together that night, the five of us. the boys arrived a little after six-thirty, patrick hadn't broughten sarah because she was at home watching for the sake of her three brothers. we all sat there in the living room piled in front of the large black and white TV, the boys and i, my parents and my little sister, charlie and a few of his work friends and a few of my pop's work friends. we all sat around the living room none of us saying a word, everyone to nervous either for themselves or someone they knew and loved. promptly at seven the news program came on and the scene was a large stage set somewhere in washington. on the stage was a man dressed in a dapper black suit, infront of him rested something that resembled a bingo turner filled with white plastic balls, also in front of the man sat a long thin microphone and behind him a large black electric board with the name of all twelve months on it. "this is the site where the draft drawing will take place." a reporter who appeared on screen said. "in just a few moments time four months will be drawn out of the holder and any young man who is between eighteen and fifty and born in the drawn month will be drafted." the reporter continued. i glanced nervously from patrick to pete knowing that either one of my friends could be drafted into this war. several minutes passed as the reporter on TV did his best to keep his audience entertained until the drawing began. he showed behind him a good hundred yards away was a large group of people most if not all were holding signs and a camera panned across the group, showing women, men, and even children standing there and chanting something along the line of "hell no, we won't go", they were protesters. my father grimaced and made some remark about "damn hippies" and his friends chuckled a bit and agreed with him. also at the site of the drawing was a group of men and women most likely local who had come out to watch publicly. finally it was time for the drawing to start, we could see a man off to the corner of the stage nod and give the go motion causing the man in the black suit center stage to nod and begin turning the ball holding contraption. we all watched in silence as the plastic balls that held all our fates spun round and round. "we will draw four balls." the man began as he continued to turn the handle of the machine, he continued to spin for a good minute before he slowed and eventually stopped. slowly almost apprhensivly he reached in and pulled out the first white ball, the first ball that in seconds would destroy someone's life. we could see the man looked visibly nervous and he gulped and took a deep breath before reading off the month. "th-the first month to be called is january" the man said and cries of pleasure and horror filled the drawing site as both the civilians and protesters reacted to the first draw. i was just elated that none of us were born in january, i had gotten lucky being only a month off from my birth month, but not everyone was spared as one of my father's friends let out something between a gasp and a cry. "that's my boy!" he shouted sadly "he's weak, he'll never make it in the war!" the man was visibly shaken and covered his eyes with his hand. "come on richard, i'll get you a drink" my father told his friend as he lead him out of the living room and into the kitchen, "charlie, tell me what's called next alright?" my father said as he passed my brother, charlie nodded practicing his military moves already. "one down three to go" i heard pete say and i nodded. the month of january on the electric board behind the man on stage was lit up bolded for all to see. once again the man on stage spun the device and i prayed that my friends and i would make it out unscathed. the man stopped his spinning and again withdrew a ball. "the second month is...june" my mouth dropped open and my heart sank as i felt my prayers die only seconds after they had begun. june had been called and we all knew whose birthday was in june...pete's. i heard patrick let out a "no!" and i glanced at joe and andy whose expressions reflected my own, before looking at pete himself who was still just sitting his arms on his knees and his expression stoney and hard to read. now pete had always been a bit strange we had all come to except that, but there was no way that after his month was called he could be so calm! "peter dear, are you alright?" my mother asked pete from behind him as she sat on the couch. i saw pete's brown eyes flash for a moment before he lifted his head from where he had been resting it on his knees "i'm not sure" and as stupid as it sounded in the moment i knew that at least his anwser was thruthful. "you should be proud petey boy! proud to serve this wonderful nation!" i heard the self rightious tone of my brother's voice from behind us as he leaned against the back wall. i turned to look at charlie my face an expression of shock and anger. "shut it charlie! we're not all like you! we don't all want to serve our country by fighting!" i yelled at him. "yes obviously you don't but you can't speak for everyone james" charlie said to me as if i were four years old. i nearly jumped up to beat the crap out of charlie, if not for two reasons, one i knew it wouldn't solve anything and two pete's hand grabbed my arm holding me down before i could even get up. "it's ok jimmy" he said looking me in the eyes "i'm ok" he added and turned back to the TV. i gave a worried look to patrick who rested his hand on pete's shoulder "i'm sorry pete" patrick whispered, pete nodded and joe and andy were still too surprised to say anything. june was lit on the board before the spinning process began all over again, it felt like it went daster this time around as my mind was still reeling from the last ball being called. "the third ball" the man began once he had retrived said ball. "is may" i actually hadn't thought it was possible but my heart sunk lower, not may! of all the ten months it just had to be may. "man we are some unlucky bastards" pete muttered "first it's me and now it's patrick" he said turning to look at the now wide eyed boy. now i was angry! how dare fate do this to me and my friends!, how dare it set up a war and then pull us in unvoluntarily one right after the other. patrick was nowhere near as good at hiding his emotions as pete and almost instantly he began shaking, tears already threating to fall from behind his glasses. "patrick..." i began unsure of what to say to him, what could i say? what could possibly make this moment better for him? nothing i could think of to say, so his name hung there until i died no follow up to take it's place. charlie said nothing this time he offered no words of what patrick should be feeling because patrick was feeling exactly as he should. i heard my mother get up and go into the kitchen maybe it was because she couldn't take patrick's reaction or maybe it was that she wanted to call patrick's mother. both of my guess were proven to be wrong as my mother soon returned with a two glasses of my fathers best alchohal and handed them to pete and patrick, who both took their drinks and indulged in them. "not patrick, please not patrick!" i could hear joe mutter and andy nodded, i knew we all felt the same way patrick was definitly not a fighter and if he was sent to war chances are that he wouldn't come back. during the drawing for the fourth and final ball i could barely pay attention, even though joe, andy, and myself were all on the chopping block, but even if our months were called pete's "rules" meant that we weren't allowed to go to war, but that's just what pete thought he heard from his father, there was no concrete evidence that said that those rules were true. i willed myself to pay attention to the final ball as the man lifted it from the many others. "the final month is... december" he called out. the room was silent for nearly a minute no one saying or doing anything, i myself just sat there on the floor infront of the TV next to my soon to be drafted friends and it looked like i was joining them. my month had been called, my mother burst into tears and ran out the room. my father and charlie's friends all proceeded to file out of the living room, the ones who actually knew me gave me quick pats on the back before leaving and i could hear them exchange goodbyes with my father. leaving the only ones still in the living room being me, my friends and charlie. no one said anything including me, there was really nothing to be said at this point, unless pete's rules were true i was going to war. i heard footsteps and knew my father had come back into the room, he must've saw the six of us still sitting in silence and he must've looked at charlie asking what the last three months were. "june, may, and december" i heard charlie whisper to my father, i didn't bother looking back at either of them i kept my focus on the pictures flashing in front of me. my father didn't say anything and once again i heard footsteps leading towards my parents rooms and i knew he must've went to console my mother. "there are some rules to the drafting" we heard the man on the television say. "any man whose month was called. if you are the only male in your family and your father isn't old enough to bare another child then you will not be going. if you have a older or younger brother whose enlisted then you are not going, but that doesn't account for people with two or more brothers. if you do have one or more brothers and if you are the youngest then you are not going. if you are under eighteen or over fifty you are not going. if you have certain medical problems you won't be going. now for all those who are still going you will recieve letters or a phone call sometime during tonight or tomorrow evening. thank you and god bless." was what the man said before it shot back to the reporter who was talking over the roar of the elated and disgruntled crowd. a few more moments of silence filled the room before someone finally spoke "i think i'll be going now" pete said as he stood from his spot on the floor, patrick nodded and stood as well, "me too" he said quietly. andy, joe, and i all stood as well even though i had just been let off the hook i still wasn't happy, my friends were still going to the war. the five of us all stood there each not exactly sure what to do next, maybe the knowledge of our bestfriends being shipped off was too much for any of us to bear. finally patrick made a move towards the door with pete and the rest of us following behind him. on the way out we offered no words to charlie and he kept quiet as well, we arrived outside the slightly chilly wind sweeping over us, i felt goosebumps rise over my skin but i wasn't sure that it was the winds fault. "do you wanna give me a ride home james?" pete asked me shakily, i nodded dumbly and fished for my keys in the pocket of my jacket before pulling them out ungracefully. i knew pete was upset because he called me james and the only time that happened was when he was serious. "do you guys want rides as well?" i asked patrick, andy, and joe, they shook there heads "nah we can walk" joe anwsered for the both of them. we all looked at each other our bodies and shadows illuminated by the orange glow of the street lamp and for some reason it felt like a final goodbye, even though we all knew it wasn't, we all knew that tomorrow we could all eat lunch together at the diner or hang out at the gas station where i worked, but it just felt like a goodbye. "goodnight then" andy said and clapped pete and patrick on the shoulder before he zipped his jacket up, "night andrew" pete said while patrick said nothing, joe nodded towards the three of us before he too turned to walk home with andy, "night joesph" pete said and joe raised a hand to wave to us. pete, patrick, and i climbed into the cab of the pick up truck, squeezing our way into fitting three people into the cab. we drove in silence and we passed andy and joe as they were walking giving the horn a small honk as we passed. i knew why andy and joe walked, they felt guilty for not being called and even if they were called that they couldn't go, but i could've been wrong and the reason for their walking was that they actually didn't live to far away from my house, neither did patrick or pete for that matter but i wanted to give them a ride. "i can't go" we heard pete say, "pete-" i began "no jimmy! there's no way in hell i can go! and patrick...he's married now!" pete was struggling to keep his emotions in check as he yelled inside the small space of the cab. "i know pete none of us want you to go, but what can we do?" i asked him, he shook his head "i don't know but i'll think of something" pete muttered. march 13, 1942 it had been two days since that night. i had yet to recieve my call from the army, i assumed i wouldn't be getting one because of the drafting rules. i had called to check in on pete and patrick for the last two days, half to see if they were ok and half to see if they had gotten their phone calls yet. neither of them had so i allowed myself to believe for a moment that they never would get those calls. meanwhile charlie was estatic to be going and i wished desperately that he wouldn't be so positive, not when pete and patrick were being forced to do something that he signed up for, but at the same time i couldn't be mad at charlie if it hadn't been for him signing up then i would've been drafted. i had the day off from work so i was hanging around the house doing nothing of paticular importance. i considered calling the guys and getting us all together for a hearty lunch at the diner, because i was afraid that if we didn't get together then we never would again. the thought left me for a moment as i heard the phone ring, my mother was doing some chore so i got up to answer it. "hello?", "jimmy!" i heard a girls frantic voice on the phone say "sarah? what is it?" i asked fear rising in my throat. why would patrick's wife be calling me? "did something happen to patrick?" i asked nervously, "yeah jimmy...he got his call...he's shipping out in april" sarah sniffled and excused herself as she let out a sob. i thought about letting her hang up but i wanted to talk to patrick first. "sarah can i talk to him?" i asked unsure of what state patrick was in by now. "yeah hold on" sarah whispered into the phone, she was gone for a moment and in a minutes time patrick was on the phone with me. "hey jimmy" i could hear from his voice that he'd been crying as well, "patrick i'm sorry" it was the first and only thing i could think of to say. "do you want to go talk about it over lunch?" i asked him, "yeah sounds good" was his only relpy "alright i'll meet you at the diner in an half hour" i told him "yeah" he agreed and we hung up. i still held the phone in my hand even after patrick had hung up. my first thought was to call pete, to see if pete was alright, but my mind wouldn't allow it. i stood numbed in the kitchen holding the phone in my hand, my eyes glued to the calendar next to it. april wasn't far away, not far away at all two weeks to be exact. i laughed at the idea that i only had two weeks left with one of my oldest and dearest friends, because that's what it was laughable. i dialed pete's number after a few more minutes of standing there the dial tone buzzing in my ear. "hello?" i heard pete's rough voice answer, "pete it's jimmy", "hey" was all he said and i was afraid that maybe he too had gotten a phone call from the military. "i uh just talked to patrick" i said unsure of where to go, "yeah me too he called me a few minutes ago" pete told me, "he's getting shipped in april" i half asked half stated, "yeah i know" pete began "so am i". my mouth dropped again and i swear i felt my heart break on the spot. no not both of them! please god anything but both of them! how was it fair that they both had to go? how could any of it be fair?!?. "james you still there?" pete asked his voice low and emotionless. "yeah pete listen i-were-do you wanna go eat lunch at the diner and talk about it with the guys?" i asked him, he was silent for a moment and i was sure he was going to say no, "sure i'll meet you there in a half hour" pete said in that same creepy emotionless tone, "right" i agreed and we too hung up the phone. i also called andy and joe and informed them of what had happened to our friends, their responses were duplicates of mine a mix of shock angry silence. so we all agreed to meet at sparky's diner in thirty minutes. i left the house and arrived at the diner, during the drive my mind refused to believe that this was all actually happening. upon entering the diner i saw that pete and joe were already there, i slid in next to joe and a few minutes later andy and patrick arrived nearly at the same time so i assumed that they had met up during the walk to the diner. we all sat there, the five of us bestfriends since birth, all unsure of what to say to one another. it was patrick who finally brought up the topic that everyone wanted to talk about but no one wanted to say. "pete di-did they give you a certain date in april?" patrick asked as he took a sip of his coke. pete nodded and swallowed the bite of burger he had been chewing, "the fith" he said looking at patrick, "what about you?" he asked "the second" patrick replied. there was more silence for a brief moment "i can't go" pete said suddenly, as he slammed his fist down on the table, he looked wild and angry and scared all mixed up in one. it was strange to see pete like this, peter was the oldest of the group and as such we often had looked up to him as our makeshift leader, something we had been doing ever since we were kids, but now to see him like this to watch pete fall apart. "pete calm down, didn't you say that you'd think of something? didn't your dad tell you anything?" joe asked pete. pete's head shot up instantly as if he'd just been shocked or something, he looked at us his eyes wide and i swear as i watched him i could see the gears of his mind turning, working something out. "yeah" he began after a long moment. but his tone led me to believe that he wasn't sure he wanted to tell us what it was that he was thinking. "there are these people..., men who were drafted into the army, but instead of going to the war they leave and go to canada or mexico where they can't be drafted" we were silent as pete explained his idea to us. "you want us to leave america? to leave our homes? and go to canada?" patrick asked, "yeah my dad told me about it. it's as easy as hopping on a bus., i mean andy, joe, you guys don't have to go because your not being drafted, but patrick, jimmy, and i we can all-" pete was interrupted by patrick "pete jimmy isn't being being drafted remember?" patrick said. "yeah right well jimmy gets to stay too then" pete said quickly, his mind back to it's mile a minute self. "you can't be serious! what about my life here? what about sarah?" patrick shouted out while looking at pete disbelieveingly. "well bring her along it doesn't matter patrick. think of it this way would you rather go an live in canada? or go and die somewhere you don't belong?" pete told him. patrick nodded obviously taking the latter of the two options. we disscussed what leaving to canada would entail, if patrick and pete did leave then they would be marked as abandoners and looked down upon, but in that moment i don't think pete or patrick cared. we parted ways soon after i went was heading home once again during the drive i was numb. i didn't want to lose patrick and pete, i really didn't want them to go, i just wished that the damn war would end so we could all stay together. even though i said i didn't want them to go i still hope that they would because i would rather have them be called traitors then be dead somewhere. i arrived home pulling into the driveway surprised to see my father's car parked there, wasn't he and charlie suppose to be at work? a slight worry filled me as i hopped out of the car, i knew my father i knew what kind of man he was, he was the kind of man that never missed work. upon entering the house i saw a horrible scene. my brother charlie was on the kitchen floor screaming in pain, my father knelt down next to him pressing a cloth to his leg, while my mother was on the phone in the kitchen "yes my son charlie. yes he's had a terrible accident please come quickly!" my mother shouted into the phone. as i got closer i recoiled in horror at the sight of my brother, his right leg or at least what was left of it was bleeding profusly and i could barely tell that it was his leg i was looking at. he was howling in pain and i didn't want to hear it. my father spotted me and instantly called me over "dad what happened?" i asked too stunned to do much else. "a machine caught charlie's leg and pulled him into it! i managed to pull him out but it tore up his leg real bad" my father grimaced as he told me and i could only imagine the pain charlie was going through right now. the ambulance arrived two minutes later and took a bloody charlie away and i got a call from my father many hours later saying that they had to cut off charlie's leg. yes my twenty two year old brother who had just enlisted in the army was now crippled. shortly after charlie lost his leg my father called the army and told them about it. an army man visited our house and informed my parents and i that now that charlie was missing a leg his services in the military weren't necessary. i wasn't too upset about this it was actually good because now charlie didn't have to go to war, god how i wish i would've realized what that meant for me. "well now that charlie is crippled he won't be going to the war." the military man began "but that also means that now the rules don't apply to your son james and he will now be shipped off on april third" the man informed us. my mouth dropped and i knew i was shaking, i now knew exactly how pete and patrick felt as the stared down their eminit doom. the man left and once again my mother began to cry and my father remained silent as he went to console her. i stood my mind swimming and the only thoughts going through my head were "i'm not going to war". i strode into the kitchen before picking up the phone and calling pete. "hey pete it's me jimmy. listen count me in on canada" april 1st,1942 we left on the first of april, the day before patrick was suppose to be sent out and two days before i was suppose to go while pete still had four days left. i was nervous as we left hell i think we all were mostly because we were leaving behind everything we had ever know. we stood out on the corner of fifth and main street a good six blocks from my house, it was five o clock in the morning and the sky was still dark. i stood there with pete and patrick my bag thrown over my shoulder holding everything i could think to bring. i had snuck out of the house around four thirty and met up with patrick and pete as they waited at the end of the block. they too had their bags slung over their backs and a nervous air about them. we had a plan at least we slightly knew what we were doing, for the last two weeks we had been planning this in secret pete, patrick, and i. pete's dad had set pete up with a guy in canada who we could stay with and he also gave pete pleanty of money to last the three of us for at least four months. patrick looked miserable as we stood on the corner waiting our bus of destiny, the reason for patrick's saddness was that he was without his dear wife sarah. patrick had asked sarah to come with him to canada sarah refused saying she couldn't desert her country and she couldn't be married to someone who would, she quietly ended their marriage yet promised that she wouldn't tell anyone where the three of them were going. i myself had left a note on the kitchen table of my childhood home, in the morning my father will probably find the note and be surprised and dissapointed, my mother will probably cry and charlie would probably hate me. andy and joe hadn't came with us to see us off they had done that the night before. pete seemed excitied to go and i envied his ability to just go and leave our home town. five minutes later we saw the headlights of the number seven bus shine down the street, it chugged it's wat along until it pulled to a stop right infront of us. we climbed on board pete paying the fare and us flashing our bus tickets, we tooks seats in the back seeing as how there were very few people on board. the seats were in pairs of two's patrick and i sat next to each other and pete sat across from us, i rested my head back against the seat as the bus slowly pulled away from the stop, from our very lives and i turned my head to watch as our small town dissapered into nothing but the black of the night. my eyes scanned the town trying desperately to memorize every inch of it, to commit it all to memory. after all who knew how long the war would last? what if it was years before i saw my home again? i wondered if maybe pete and patrick were thinking the same thing, i felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes and i closed them tight as i tried to welcome sleep. may 1st, 1942 we've been in canada for a good month now and really it was nothing like i expected. some of the people here are friendly like the people we live with but others are not so much like the people on the streets who somehow know were americans. pete, patrick, and i have been writing to andy and joe every week just to let them know that we were ok and to hear about how our families were doing. patrick was a mess for three weeks after he learned that sarah had remarried a future soilder. we also got jobs here in canada i was now working at a supermarket while pete worked as a waiter and patrick as a janitor at the supermarket i worked at. everyday when i got home i'd watch the news on the TV and cook dinner on the nights it was my turn, it seemed no matter how far away i traveled the news always stayed the same. i watched as the men fought in different places as i saw pictures of them injured and laid up in military hospitals, it struck me that pete, patrick, and i could be where those men are now and suddenly the cramped bedroom i share with them doesn't seem so bad. august 26th,1945 i got word today that the war is finally over! after spending three years away from america we finally get to go home. alot has changed in this last three years, patrick, pete, and i all learned to speak fluent french the native language of canada. patrick met a canadian girl named emily and the two of them have been married for the last two years and are expecting a child together soon, pete and i have been happy too we've been working and making new friends in canada, but i was more then ready to give up the life i had carved here to go back home. andy and joe have also been well during these three years the two of them opened a resturant together and they promised us a free meal when we returned. my family has been fine too i heard that charlie got himself a prostectic leg and is learning to walk again. joe told me that my parents miss me and he even said my dad was near desperate to see me once again, frankily i couldn't wait to get home. finally the day arrived when we boarded a bus like we had three years ago and went back home. there were no balloons, or confetti or people cheering, or parades in our honor like all the soilders were getting but when we pulled up at that same corner on fifth and main street and i saw my family and friends smiling at me i felt like i had all those things.

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