Thursday, March 22, 2007

love songs for the genuinely cunning

mood: happy listening to: mom and brother argue currently: waxing poeticly to do list: find cell phone straighten hair hi, finally after so long the van is fixed, now no one will have to say "hope the van gets fixed!" XD we can talk about something new! yeah my mom called the guy that was fixing our van at noon and he said he didn't even start fixing it yet which upset me because i didn't think we'd get the van back yesterday but we did! and it's as good as new! ok so the van got fixed just in time because my mom talked to my counseler today and he said that he was just about to drop my brother and i from the school! that is total BS because way more students have missed like a month of school and are still there! i'm a good student on all accounts so really i don't deserve that. oh and my luck sucks because it happens that our marking period ends on friday so chances are i'm gonna finish this marking period with low marks. oh i broke 240 gb sigs i think the user was xupumunkey but chances are i'm mistaken. oh and i want to thank you all for the 2600 visit's i had! i'm not sure why that number jumped out at me but whatever. also hooray for a new fob club member beyblader joined us! that makes eight i think. oh i'm betting that i'll be exhausted today at school because this entire week i've been sleeping like a vampire. sleeping all day and up all night. but school is what i need to break this habit. so yeah i'll be tired but i can't fall asleep at school so i'll be tired when i get home and probably go to sleep early. ok yeah so i have nothing to talk about but luckily it's thursday and that means it's storytime! if your new to my site you can catch the old chapters on the myo site redmoonchick2 where the story is archived. this is the second to the last chapter so i hope you guys enjoy! ************************************************** ~my friend rory~ chapter nine: two weeks later: the calm before the storm it had been two weeks since the day of the shooting and i was still in the hospital. david sat on the end of my bed reading that day's newspaper. over the course of these past two weeks david and i had grown unbelivably close to one another during our time in the hospital. ever since our first meeting two weeks ago when i learned his name. since that day i've had a strong desire to just be around him and i knew he felt the same. i believe that the reason for this closeness was because the two of us made each other feel better. my mother said it was because the two of us knew exactly how the other felt because we were both there and we both experienced it. david was released from the hospital three days ago and yet he still comes to visit me each day. david and i somehow became each other's support system. i think its because we need each other to escape from the pain of reality. "we're in the paper again laylah." david told me, he flopped the paper down on my lap so that i could see the artical. i picked it up and read over the page that david had pointed out. "the hero's of the clearview shooting out of hospital soon." the headline read and below was a picture of david and i playing a game of cards in my hospital room. i shrugged and handed the paper back to david. the newspaper articles about us were nothing new, the day after the shooting my mother had brought me the paper and she told me that i just had to see the front page. upon my mother's request i opened the paper and gasped in shock as my picture adorned the page. the picture had been the one that was first taken of me as i came out of the school, when i was carried out by phil the cop. the headline for that day had been "tragidy at school leaves fourty dead." the entire story had been about the shooting at our school and about rory himself. it wasn't only the newspaper who had been telling rory's story. it was also airing on all the news stations local and network new stations. the news had picked up the story on the day of the shooting and i had watched about it on my very first night in the hospital. the news had footage of rory and myself when he demanded i make him more famous. it was the first time i had really seen myself from that day and i looked worse then i imagined. my face and clothes were covered in blood and i looked a mess. i was terrified even seeing myself like that and i no longer watch the news programs or read the paper. a knock was heard on the door of my room and i looked up to see a nurse standing there. "so laylah. i hear your going home today!" the nurse said excitiedly. "yeah" i grinned at her as i looked at my leg. "i'll finally be able to walk again.". over these two weeks my leg was forced to remain in my cast but just last night they cut it off and i now have use of my leg. everything turned out normal with my injury except for now i walk with a slight limp, that the doctors aren't sure will ever go away. "well you know we'll all miss you terribly" my cheery nurse quipped. "yeah, i know" i smiled at her, during my stay here i had become something of a mini hero to the nurses. they had heard my story (mostly from david) and held me in high regards for surviving such an ordeal. "well we nurses all chipped in and we got you something" the nurse said. "really?" david asked suddenly excitied as if the gift were for him. the nurse nodded and handed me a box wrapped in yellow paper. "you didn't have to do this. really!" i proclaimed. "oh it's nothing" the nurse said "now open it", "yeah! yeah! open it!" david chimed in. despite my proclamation i still opened the gift and lifted a journal out of the box. it wasn't a normal journal, i could tell it was a tad on the expensive side. "oh thank you" i said and hugged the nurse. while i was hugging the nurse david took it as an opportunity to snatch my journal and inspect it. "it's nice" was his conclusion. the nurse soon left and david and i went back to doing what we had before. our peace only lasted a good five minutes before another knock was heard on the door and the same bubbly nurse popped her head in my doorway. "another gift?" david asked from over the paper. "no not this time." the nurse stated "laylah dear you have visitors", "oh well if its my parents then just send-", "no dear its not your parents" the nurse cut me off. "oh well send them in." i said now curious as to who my mystery visitors would be. the nurse stepped out of the doorway and back into the hall "you can go in now" i heard her say. i heard footsteps of my guests stepping into the doorway and my mouth dropped open as i saw them standing there. my visitors were rory's parents. the two of them just stood there in my doorway not saying anything at all. they looked nervous and out of place. i hadn't seen either of them since before the shooting so it was only natural that it was akward now. "h-hi mr. and mrs. daniels" i said my voice coming out squeeky and full of nerves. "hello laylah dear" mr. daniels said his voice too filled with apprehension, while mrs. daniels said nothing. "well come in" i urged the two of them to come inside my room. they nodded and moved quickly as if they were in a hurry. mrs. daniels took the seat next to my bed while mr. daniels stood beside her. i gave a good look over of rory's parents. rory mostly looked like his mother, they had the same dark hair and eyes while rory and his father shared the same body type and facial structure. both of rory's parents were good looking and nice people and i felt like they were something of second parents to me. again rory's parents said nothing and continued to stare nervously at me. "uh mr. and mrs. daniels-" i began before mrs. daniels cut me off. "laylah please don't be upset with us!" she cried out. i was taken aback by her sudden outburst and now as i looked at them i could see that they both looked very tired and haggard. "of course i'm not upset with you. why would i?" i asked them. rory's parents exchanged a look of surprise and mr. daniels picked up where his wife had left off. "because laylah. because of what rory has done." he said, his voice holding an empty sadness. i was surprised to hear rory's name spoken out loud once again. i had heard it in my own head but no one else was saying it and i flinched a bit as his father said it. i glanced at david who still sat on the end of my bed. he gave me a look before clearing his throat and standing "i think i'll leave you alone now" he said. david gave rory's parents and i a nod of his head before he departed. i watched him leave before turning my full attention back to the daniels. "what rory did was wrong no doubt about that and i'm not saying that i'm not a little angry at him, but not at you guys. i don't blame you guys." my words moved mrs. daniels to tears and i wasn't sure if i had upset her or not. "but we should've done something right? don't you think we could've stopped him if we tried?" mr. daniels said in an almost desperate tone. i thought for a moment before replying. "i'm not sure that you could've done anything. rory was pretty far gone during the shooting. i-i think he was beyond help." i believed my words to be true but i wasn't sure if they would. "oh laylah!" mrs. daniels said as she leaped out of her chair and hugged me tightly as she cried. "i'm so sorry for what he did to you. i'm so sorry laylah." she cried on me. i kept telling her it was alright that it was an accident but she kept pleading with me to forgive her. eventually we got her settled down and she was now sitting in the chair still sniffling as she watched her husband talk. "laylah what we came to ask was-" before mr. daniels could tell me what they had visited for a knock was again heard at the door. this time the person didn't wait for anyone to anwser. the door opened and in came rory's older brother remy. "mom dad i got your message to meet you at the hospital but i-" remy too stopped mid sentence as he noticed his crying mother and me in my bed. "laylah." was all that he said. i was stunned by remy not because i was surprised to see him but because of how much he looked like rory in that moment. the two boys could've been twins even though remy was two years older and of course i've know remy and seen him many times but right then all i could think was "my god he looks like rory". i couldn't speak as i looked at remy. it was too much, he looked too much like rory! it was like seeing rory all over again. without my realizing it tears had begun to fall from my eyes. "hi remy" i barely whispered. mr. daniels and remy both noticed my tears "should i go?" he asked his parents and i. "no-no" i said wipping the ambushing tears from my eyes. "you can stay remy." i said. remy still looked unsure but went to stand behind his father anyway. my eyes were still glued to remy and he nervously stared back at me. "anyway laylah. the reason we came here today was because-well. rory's funeral is tomorrow." mr. daniels stated. "oh i see" i said my heart sinking a bit. "i had forgotten" i said, "yes well we found a note at home from rory and he requested that you be at his funeral.". "what? he did?" i asked in shock at rory's morbid request. "yes he wanted ellie and alexander to be there as well but they both refused." mr. daniels told me. "they did?" again more shock this time at my brother and ellies flat out refusal to attend rory's funeral. "so i understand if you don't want to go.", "no i do! i mean i will go." i told them. if it was one of rory's requests then i would go to his funeral. i was going to go even if he didn't request it i thought. mr. daniels smiled at me a grim smile but a smile none the less. "well thank you laylah. it would mean alot to rory to hear you say that.", "yeah" remy agreed. "well we best be going" mr. daniels said. mrs. daniels stood she opened her purse and fumbled around inside before she pulled out a white card. "this is where it's taking place" she said through teary eyes. i took the card and mrs. daniels hugged me once again, as did mr. daniels and too my surprise remy hugged me too. as remy hugged me and i felt his warm arms around me, i couldn't help but to think it was rory hugging me as a thanks for agreeing to come to his funeral. the family left and i held the small white card in my hand. the funeral for rory douglas daniels will be held at 12:00 pm at the forever golden funeral home. i set the card down on the table next to me. "hey you alright?" i heard david's voice ask. i looked up to see him coming back in my room. "yeah i'm fine" i told him but really i wasn't sure if i was. "what did they want?" david asked kind of coldly, "they wanted to know if i was going to rory's funeral tomorrow." i said looking back at the card. "what? you told them no right?" david said now sounding shocked and a little angry. i looked back at him "no i told them i'm going" i said gently as i watched davids face rapidly change emotions. "your going? why would you go to that freaks funeral?" he practicly yelled at me. "david why are you getting so upset? i'm going because rory was my friend." i was starting to get angry at david for getting upset at my decision and for calling rory a freak. "why am i upset? hello laylah! rory nearly killed me and he shot up our school! and he shot you for crying out loud!" this time david was yelling and i was frightened as i had never seen this side of him before. "david i know what rory did and i'm not saying its alright, because its far from alright, but still rory was my friend and i want to say goodbye to him." i kept my voice calm but inside i was just as mad as david was now. david stood quickly "fine laylah! go to the fucking funeral! i don't give a damn anymore! but when you come back all fucked up don't cry to me about it! cause i warned you!" he turned and left before i could say anything. i was now all alone in my room i flopped back on my pillows and cried. i wasn't angry at rory for what he had done but it was obvious that david was. it had surprised me that david reactted in such a way how would ellie, and alexander, and my parents, and every other survivor take it? somehow i realized that rory had managed to mess me up again even after he was dead. i was alone in the hospital for two more hours before my family arrived. during my two hours of solitude i watched the local news and once again they were talking about rory. the news casters didn't really have anyone to talk to specificly about rory. they wanted me to go onto a nationally televised news program and talk about what had happened that day. my parents refused and said i couldn't do any shows until i was out of the hospital. that day was here now so i fully expected to be hearing from the show any day now. even though i didn't really feel like talking about what had happened yet. i hadn't even had the chance to think about it myself. everytime i'd start to think about the shooting i'd push those thoughts away and focus all of my attention on something, anything else. but regardless of how i felt about the situation i felt a need no something more like an obligation to talk about rory and the shooting. i knew i owed it to the family of the victims because to be frank the news had very little information about what had happened because there had been very few witnesses. the best thing they managed to scrape up as a witness was our old teacher mr. carter, who had gone on the news proclaiming that he always felt there was something a little "off" about rory. but the true reason i wanted to go on the news and tell all that i knew was to keep my promise to rory and true to my word that i would tell his story. my parents had arrived to pick me up from the hospital and i was ready by the time they arrived. "hi honey" my mom and dad would say and alexander would just stand there watching me as if i could collaspe in pain at any moment. i stood and fetched my coat perpairing to leave, while i noticed my mother was scanning my room. "where's david?" she finally asked. i grimaced wishing my mother hadn't brought him up. "oh he left already. he was really tired." i lied. i didn't want my parents to know i had gotten into a fight with my only support system. my mother frowned "well that's too bad. i was going to invite him to dinner." my mom said while helping me into my coat. i shrugged "well we ready to go?" i asked holding onto the railing of my bed as support. "not just yet" my father said a smile spreading on his face. "alex get it" my dad told my brother. my brother nodded and ducked out into the hallway for a moment before rentering with a long wrapped box. "what's this?" i asked curiously. "its a gift for you laylah." my mom said smiling at me. i returned her smile and continued to stare at the box. the reason for this was because i was still a bit wobbly on my bad leg and didn't really trust myself to move just yet. "aren't you gonna open it?" alex asked as he held the box that i assumed must be heavy. i shook my head "nah you go ahead and open it for me alex" i told him. he sighed as if annoyed and set the box down before uncerimoniously ripping the paper off the box and opening it. "here laylah" he said as he walked the gift over to me and i found myself envying his long smooth strides. i tried to make out what the gift was as he brought it to me but i was unable to. alex stood before me and held out the gift for me to take. i could now see the gift in all its glory. my present was a cane. but not just any cane as my father had said. the cane was black and smooth and very stylish and it looked nothing like an old persons cane. "its just until you can walk on your own again." my mother said. i held the black cane in my hand and let go of the railing. i wobbled for a moment before i gained my footing and was able to walk to my family to give them hugs. my own strides were sadly nothing like my brothers. my steps were rough and jagged and uneven but i was happy to be walking again. we said goodbye to the hospital staff that had helped me and left the hospital for what i hoped would be the last time. as soon as we reached outside the warm may evening surrounded me and i breathed in this freedom as we headed for the car. my parents had surprised me by taking me to my favorite resturant. during the ride there i sat in the front seat with my mother and my father and brother sat in the back. it was somewhat quiet as we rode the only noise being my father and brother chatting about some sport they had just watched. as we rode i wondered "since my accident had my parents forgotten how to talk to me? maybe they thought i was different now and weren't sure what to say?". it didn't really matter anyway because i didn't feel like talking. i was too busy thinking about the fight david and i had earlier over rory's funeral. i gasped suddenly "i forgot rory's funeral card in the hospital room!". i thought for a moment about telling my mother to turn around and go back but i decided against it. after all i remembered where and when the funeral was so i really didn't need the card. but now the subject of rory's funeral was front and center in my mind. i wanted to ask my parents about it. i wanted their opinion on wheter or not i should go to his funeral. but i was too nervous to bring it up. i didn't want the same reaction i had gotten from david, but they were my family surely they would support me. i cleared my throat "um mom? dad?" i began. "what is it laylah?" my mother asked from the seat next to me. "well rory's parents came to see me today" i told them. "what? well what did they want?" my mother asked excitiedly "well um they wanted me to go to rory's funeral tomorrow." i told them. neither of my parents responded right away each one remained silent as if thinking of something to say to me. "what did you say dear?" my father asked "i told them that i would go" i stated. my mother turned and looked at me as we stopped at a red light. "no honey i don't think that's such a good idea." she said. "what?" i blurted out not believing that my own mom didn't agree with my decision. "dad-" i began "sorry laylah but i agree with your mother." he said simply. again my mind reeled how could neither one of my parents agree with me? were they like david? were they too caught up in rory's actions to remember that he was still my friend? "you guys sound just like david" i said slumping down in my seat a bit. "what? you talked to david about this?" my dad asked. "well yeah he was there when mr. and mrs. daniels arrived." i explained to my family. my dad showed an almost pained expression on his face. "i don't think that was a great idea laylah" my dad commented. "why dad?" i began "i mean he was there and he asked me what they wanted. i told him about the funeral and he said that i shouldn't go". remembering the argument david and i had was painful and i wanted to forget all the cruel things he had said. i began to argue with my parents more when alex finally spoke up. "god just shut up laylah!" he screamed at me from the backseat. i turned around surprised at my younger brothers outburst. "alexander don't talk to her that way." my parents scolded. "what? do you even hear what she's saying? she wants to go to rory's funeral! she wants to go to the funeral of the guy who fucking shot her! how fucked up is that?" he screamed in the small space of the car. "alex what's gotten into you?" my mom asked as my brother was blowing up in the backseat. my own hands trembled as i listended to the words my brother had said. "how dare you alex!" i screamed back at him. "you weren't in the school! you didn't see anything like i saw! i'm not defending rory but he shot me on accident he could have killed me anytime he wanted but he didn't! because i was his friend!". i was silent for a moment as i tried desperately to rangle in my emotions. "is-is it so bad that i want to say one last goodbye?" i whispered this last sentence as i was sure my body couldn't handle more yelling. "your an idiot laylah." was his only stern reply. needless to say the rest of our evening was ruined by the family fued that had taken place in the car. my brother and i sat silent the rest of the ride each one of us fuming at the other's words. i couldn't believe my younger brother! i thought for sure that he of all people would understand why i wanted to go to rory's funeral. he was rory's friend too after all. but maybe the shooting had messed up my brother's mind more then i or anyone else had previously thought. once we arrived at the resturant my mother took alexander away to talk with him leaving my father and i at the table. we didn't really say much amid the stares and whispers we had gotten upon entering the resturant. "this was the price i paid for surviving the shooting" i thought. rory was so determined to make himself infamous that he had acheived that goal and then some, he had made me infamous as well. my dad and i ordered some drinks as we waited for mom and alex to come back. "laylah" my father said suddenly. i looked up at him in surprise "what?" i asked softly "do you really wanna go to his funeral?" he asked me as he took a sip of his drink. i nodded "yeah i really do" i told him. "well" he began as he scratched the back of his head "i guess i can give you a ride tomorrow if you really wanted to go". i looked at my father and he smiled at me. i don't think i ever loved my father as much as i did then because he was supporting me when no one else would. "thank you daddy" i said as i hugged him tightly. "well hold on now laylah. just because i'm giving you a ride doesn't mean that i don't still think this is a bad idea." i nodded as i understood him and we went back to our small talk. eventually mom and alexander came back into the resturant. i could tell alexander had calmed down but was still visibly upset. my mother sat down at our table as did alex who happened to be sitting across from me. "alexander apologize to your sister." my mom demanded. alexander looked upset but still managed to grumble out a clearly fake apology. but i guess that was all my mom was looking for as she turned her attention away from him and onto me. "laylah now you apologize to alex." i sighed and with a dejected look i gave my brother the same apology he had given me. things seemed at peace if not a bit akward and we tried our best to enjoy our first family meal in weeks. we went home right after the meal and i found joy in the fact that my home as well as my room had not changed at all. our two story home still had the same warm smell and cozy interior that i remembered. the only thing that had changed was me being unable to properly get up the stairs to my room. i ended up having to have my father carry me up the stairs. this brought back memories of the time when the cop carried me out of the school, so i vowed to learn how to go about this myself. i was truly at comfort when i was once again in my room. it was strange though to see it exactly the way i had left it two weeks ago and to my dissapointment my room had aquired the smell of a room that was barely used. my father left me after making sure i was alright and once again i was alone. i flopped down on my bed enjoying the softness of it. i pulled my legs up off the floor and just sat looking at the ceiling. i was back again to where it had all started all those days ago. after all i had been laying on my bed just like this when i got on the computer and recieved rory's message. suddenly thinking about the computer i had the urge to get on it once again. this time knowing that i wouldn't recieve a message from a soon to be killer. i sat up and scooted to the end of my bed. i glanced at the computer wondering if i should get on or not. i was also wondering why i was suddenly so apprehensive about it all. making up my mind i slid off my bed and limped over to the computer. i took my seat and turned on the computer. i waited and logged onto the internet. i decided to check my email. i logged in and sure enough "you have five new emails" my computer screen read. i went to check on it and saw the newest message was from ellie. while the second and third messages were from david after he got out of the hospital. the fourth message was from a news program no doubt asking if i'd be a guest on their show. i scrolled down slightly bored until i reached the bottom of the page. the fifth and very last message was from rory. "oh my god!" i gasped and raised my hands to my mouth as i realized that the very last message was from rory sent on the day of the shooting. i hadn't noticed before but my hands were shaking as i clicked the email. my breath came to me in quick small bursts and my heart thumped wildly in my chest. "was this shell shock?" i wondered "was i having a reaction similar to that of a soilder hearing gun fire for the first time since coming home from war?" i waited patiently as the page loaded vagely wondering if i should call my brother or my parents, or hell if i should even read the message at all. before i could decide anything the page was loaded and rory's message to me sat clear on my screen. "good morning laylah. i just called your house moments ago and no one anwsered. laylah please tell me you didn't go to school today! please tell me that your just home and sleeping in. i thought you'd listen to me last night. i thought, no i hoped that you would. but it looks to me that you didn't and you are at school today. that's sad laylah...because i'm doing something really bad at the school today. bet you'll never guess what it is! give up? i'm going to shoot up the school! yeah i've already decided so even if you are home don't email me back because i'll already be gone. you know laylah i just knew you'd come to school today." that was how it ended and i was shaking violently by the end. it was scary to me that even after his death rory could still reach me, he could still scare me. even then in his final email there was no grand ending just a cliffhanger of a paragraph, but i didn't really need a good bye written in words when i clearly remembered the good bye i recieved face to face with rory. i just sat there for at least five minutes, just staring blankly at the screen infront of me. when i was finally able to move again i quickly saved rory's final message, feeling that it would end up being important to someone even if that someone wasn't me. after saving the message that proceeded doom i typed out a email to david it contained only one word "sorry", it may have been just one word but it meant so much more. i was saying sorry for the fight we had at the hospital, for getting him involved in the first place, sorry for wanting to go to his funeral. this little word meant a million to me and i hoped to david. after the brief message i stood with my cane and hobbled to the door before calling downstairs to my parents. ************************************************ ~redmoonchick~

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