Wednesday, June 13, 2007

hold your head high heavy heart

mood: bored listening to: mad world-micheal even ((i love this song)) currently: letting him go pimpage: detectivedanielle (robotic dinosaur), shallow heart (she's just a good person i wub her), deadxonxarrival (megan malice), shadowme (scene kids rock her socks), october (viva la stripper), hoaryu (he's a barber), knight edge (that one pervy guy), tohmalover14 (she's my mini me! lmao), angel zakuro (woot she fixed my pics), destinyssweetman (plush dealer), savestheday (i want his hat) hi, Redmoonchick Responds: omnimaster: well i mean danny isn't the leader of the band so i guess it isn't his but i think you all get what i mean, he's a member in the band. LS: that's what i thought about the name too. eh? your eh? scares me and makes me think you think i'm ugly *paranoid* edge: you didn't say i was pretty *cries* j/k hoaryu: i believe i mentioned many a times that danny did wall flips and such. aw thanks niisan *hugs* ani mae: if your really curious then just google pete wentz naked you'll find the pics angel zakuro: awww thanks your comment in paticular helped me feel better about the pics. toh-toh: awww toh-toh i luv you! *huggles toh-toh to death* *revives her* oh and i've only known danny for eight months so far. alex: thanks for the support alex! *hugs* capricorn-rocker: lmao i thought the same thing when i saw the pics! narutoblackmail: i shall not tell danny that because his ego is big enough already XD hellslight: danny isn't my bf just a friend shadowme: thanks for the hair compliments you can touch it if you want lol i just creeped myself out. how does danny have this power over us? shallow heart: yeah i have his band on my top though i didn't listen to the music yet. my god imagine if fall out boy ever read my site, they'd probably get a restraining order on both of us! lmao we look cute together? i guess. oh if you do come to michigan where will you be? wensdayskitten: aww thanks for the compliments! *hugs* well, again i didn't do much yesterday. i uploaded a new pic on my myspace and thanks to megan (deadxonxarrival) for the pic comment! i went all writer crazy and wrote well like crazy lol. let's see i finished up chapter nine of "wentz in wonderland" and then i wrote part of a stand alone story and i joined this challenge thing where you write short little drabbles with subjects from a-z i chose petexpatrick as my catergory and i already have two of those done. if anyone wants to leave me a word C-Z for the drabbles that would be cool. example A is for angel then the story has involve an angel or B for blood. get it? oh well then the first drabble is a gift to shallow heart for her awesomeness. pete: red can i give you an idea? red: -looks warily- fine pete: C is for condom! red: >.< i'm not doing condom pete: you never listen to me! -pouts- red: trick do you have an idea? patrick: um C is for cupcake? red: genius! pete: hey! i could have thought of that red&trick: riiiiight pete: i could! red&trick: -walks away- pete: -thinks- ok what about C is for cupcake condom! besides my crazy qwriting spree i didn't do much else. my mom picked me up after she got out of work ant the two of us went to eate at the A&W for dinner. dinner was ok nothing special just a burger, some fries, and a root beer float. after dinner we went and washed our van because the windshield was really dirty. it was funny because it was on of those do it yourself washes and my mom was running out of time so she was rushing around with the hose. it was pretty funny to watch. man, it's only day four of summer break and i already feel utter boredom setting in. oh well i'm thinking it will get better later after my friends are out of school cause then we can do things like go to the beach or shop or just hang out. i'm thinking of being to do some of the yoga and aerobic moves i learned in fitness class at school at least doing the ones i remember. then i'll be working out. there's also this super long track by my house so i guess i could walk that a few times each day. i wish i had a dog or something so i could walk it. i don't even have an mp3 player or ipod so walking might be a tab boring. oh well usually when i walk i let my mind wander or i think of idea's for stories. i was looking through some older documents on my computer and i found something i wrote a while ago, so i think i'm going to post that. it's not really a poem or anything like that it's an actual i guess piece of nonfiction. it's not long so it shouldn't be a hassle to read. dear, you i love you. i know that may not be shocking and that you claimed to know all along but i feel i must confess everything to you. because that's just the kind of person you make me want to be. i want to be with you in the worst way and it drives me crazy. i need to realize that it can never be between us, mostly because of you of course. i'm just not the type of girl you go for and the faster i get that the better. i hate that you linger in my heart and in my head. sitting there not moving and making me want to breath you in. nothing you say or do helps because as much as you hurt me i still run back to you. this is never going to end. your so completely clueless because i can pull it off, because you never thought of me that way and i wish with all my self that i didn't think of you like that. your too wrong, i'm too right. this would never work anyway and hey your too emotionlly crippled to pull off a relationship with me. i'm jealous of you, of the way those girls hang on your every word and how they all love you. because i want to love you like that and i want to tell you so badly. i want you to want me and i know my heart would break if you ever told me otherwise. that's why i'm keeping silent because a secret isn't as bad as the world ending and that's what would happen if i told you. we'd never be the same, i know that now and i know i'll miss you when your gone and i want to think that maybe i'm a little special to you but at the same time i think the anwser is no, that i'm just another girl with another crush something they all have on you. so i'll take the friendship over the realtionship because then i won't be hurt not ever by your rejection. i like you nearly everything about you and hell i am so fucking addicted to you that it hurts my heart. i get a little sad that you'll never know but with each word that passes between us i know it's the right decision. it feels good to write this now and i want to confess and tell you but i know i'll chicken out and not do anything. you wanted to know who those oh so mushy lines were about? they were about you and you had no idea. really is it so interesting now? i feel so stupid admitting this because it's only one-sided and it will forever remain that way because once your gone i'll never see you again and i swear i could burst into tears at the thought of it all. i'm afraid to slip away from your memories and your thoughts and your life. i want to be a part of it all. because really i don't know how it happenend but i love you. yeah like i said it was written a while ago but the emotions in it were strong enough to bring me to the brink of tears so i figured i'd share it. well i guess that is all for now so till tonight do us part pete: you stole that line from me red: i guess it's the only good thing you've contributed to this post ~redmoonchick~

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