myOtaku.com: redmoonchick

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1988-12-19
Gender
• Female
Location
• anywhere i lay my head which is in michigan
Member Since
• 2004-11-22
Occupation
• future college student
Real Name
• cassandra or cassie, or red, or pete, or fob whore, hey you over there. it all works.

Personal

Achievements
• graduated from high school, met andy hurley from fall out boy and got his autograph!, worked for the mayor, successfully lead a protest at my school, was in the newspaper for said protest
Anime Fan Since
• since i was like eight
Favorite Anime
• full metal alchemist, bleach, naruto, maburaho, kyo kara myoh, death note, black cat and so much more
Goals
• to get the other three members of fall out boy's autographs
Hobbies
• drawing, collecting manga, writting, watching anime
Talents
• drawing, writting, balancing things on my head

myOtaku.com: redmoonchick

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

she said, she said, she said, why don't you just drop dead

mood: unstable

listening to: the faint sound of the tv

currently: i'm done with him and i really got to force myself to see it.

people i can't live without: detectivedanielle (she talks me down, i swear i need her), shallow heart (porn partner XD), deadxonxarrival (no eye humping for her), shadowme (she spits lyrics in real life), hoaryu (i miss my bro-bro), knight edge (perv party master), tohmalover14 (lil' toh-toh), destinyssweetman (intern alex), xXtristanXx (eh his comment made me laugh)

avatar of the day:
how wonderfully appropriet.

Redmoonchick Responds:

edge: you haven't been here since i changed my theme? *shocked*

jenny: oh emm gee! you so wrote what i was thinking! XD yes! grab the camera and we can sell the video to shadowme and aaya! XD yes, a cave, pirate ship, and uh.....a hot air balloon! huzzah we rock and i'm sure this makes sense to no one else!XD

inuyashafan4-ever: well actually the title is from the fall out boy song dance, dance. but it's no big deal.

magnus lensherr: well i don't think my aunt figured out she was being lied to. lol.

xXtristanXx: alright just because you asked nicely i put you in the people i can't live without catergory. wheter or not you stay is up to you XD

keba-kun: aww i missed you too.

ninja lover: yeah will is hot but i kinda think kevin is hot too.

aaya: lol yeah most of pete's anwsers had me like "oh i love pete because he is crazy gay for patrick and sometimes joe" wooh go you for being one of the only girls i met that can resist danny.

shadowme: well i mostly stare at dear mr. becketts face. well i wouldn't say that he doesn't like it. he likes himself so i'm sure he likes it.

hi guys,

have you guys ever had a day where you feel so alone and sad for no apparent reason? that's the kinda day i had. though i mean i do know my reason for being on the sad side and it's something that has made me sad time and time again. four of you have probably guessed what i am going to say but the thing that has me so down is danny.

right i know big surprise because when am i not upset with him or about him? i'm sorry i keep making you guys read usless crap about how he pisses me off or how he ignores me. i really am sorry. but this more or less should be the last time i speak of him. i know a few days ago he left me a comment. oh wow and for just a second i let myself think that it was back to the way it used to be. that he was back and that he was listening to me again. but now i know that the only reason he even left me a comment was because he was updating that night. he didn't actively seek my site out just because he wanted to know what i was up too. oh god no he just visited because he was already here.

it also just upsets me that he will talk to people all friggen day long that he has never even met. but me i knew him in person i was his friend for a good eight months and he can't leave me one fucking comment on myspace? everyone else he does, even my own brother he does but not me and him and me were way closer then him and my bro. i just don't understand and that's what hurts.

i remember when i talked to him on the phone once and he told me that he treats girls like shit so they'll hate him and i figure that's what he's doing to me. i really wish i didn't care so much about him. i don't think he'll ever understand how much i cared about him and how much i would do to make him happy. it's not a good way to think because after all i've known him i still don't know him. the second day i met him he told me that he puts up walls and is gaurded and doesn't let people in. that is true beyond any reason of a doubt. i guess that's why he fight so much. because i am so open and honest with my emotions and he is all gaurded and sad.

well it doesn't really matter anymore because i think i am done. i sent him a message and as usual he never responded i sent him a text and again nothing. so i really think i am finished. i'm done trying to keep a friendship going when the other person won't play along. like i thought before there are a million different danny's the one i was with at school and the one who exists now. they aren't the same so i should just walk away with my dignity and hold on to the memories of the person i used to know and hope that he was telling the truth when he said i was special.

even now as i just said that part of me doesn't want to let him go but i know it's for the best, really it is. why should i be hurting anymore when he obviously doesn't care if i ever see him again. before when i went to school with him i asked him if we'd be friends when school was over and he said yes but all along i knew this would happen. when i got close to him i knew in the back of my mind, you won't see him after this. the only problem is, i never got closure with him. i never got that last chance to say goodbye because he stopped coming to school. our friendship didn't end properly so maybe if i can one day arrange it then i'll meet with him one last time just to get that closure and that goodbye.

i know this is long and you guys might not care but if i can't say it here then where? so i have just a small poem that i wrote a long time ago and put on here before but it is so good [in my own opinion] that i'm putting it up again.

"emotionless"

i want something more then just a broken stanza
i want your broken heart
i might as well keep it for you anyway
if i let you keep it you'd just break it again
your better that way
without a heart
because then you can't feel the pain that you hide from
i'm helping you
to become the hollow person your so desperate to be
now you don't need an excuse to break peoples hearts
because you don't have one to begin with
love was never your strong suite
lying always was
so lie to yourself and say you have some emotion
we all know you don't
because i own those too
you traded your tears for something better
and your fears for something worse
your a jaded mess
and your reflection shows it
your just a shell of your former self
but that's what you always wanted
so i'll take your heart so you can be
just as empty as me

~redmoonchick~

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