Sunday, July 8, 2007

could be an accident but i'm still trying and it's more then i can say for him

mood: remeniscent listening to: love will tear us apart-fall out boy currently: longing for the past people i can't live without: detectivedanielle (wentz broke her finger), shallow heart (peterick partner!), deadxonxarrival (her babies have good hurr), shadowme (shadowtastic), knight edge (perv to the third degree), hoaryu (niisan), tohmalover14 (lil' miss commedian), destinyssweetman (alex) avatar of the day: we all know who this is dedicated to. Redmoonchick Responds: jenny: lol i've done that to friends sometimes. it is a little strange when friends date. aww i would so come over and watch the dvd and eat peterick pancakes with you. oh emm gee you should totally send me the cd then we could be pen pals! toh-toh: riku is very insulting to you dear toh-toh. lol hi guys, wow i only got three comments?!?! holy crap and it was a very short lil post too. -sigh- i'm beginning to think i should stop updating on saturdays because no one is around anyways. oh well big huge thanks to jenny, omnimaster, and toh-toh for the comments. sorry i didn't get around to commenting i didn't feel good so i laid down for awhile. oh yeah i got a new thing in my profile and it's a gift from ikyuu-nyuu-kon! thanks so much! well yesterday we did go to the farmers market. we actually went and picked up my brother from his friends house then we went and got our friend greg otherwise known as g. i was going to get sydney too but i know all too well how sydney get's around greg so i didn't pick her up. not a big deal. so we went to the farmers market and my mom was buying fruits and veggies so i got bored and was walking around and i went to the end of the market where this ice cream place was and the guy who worked there looked just like a blonder patrick stump. i kid you not. he even had a hat on. so he's all like greeting me and stuff and i want to giggle because he looks like patrick, so i got the heck out of there because i didn't want to seem crazy. after the farmers market we stopped by the grocery store to buy my brother a cake and get pop and stuff. we got my bro and ice cream cake and my mom told us to get two pops. i got one little vault and a big squirt and greg got a little pop but my bro got like five pops! his excuse. "it's my birthday tomorrow" ugh he was being annoying. while we were in the checkout at the store this old lady was behind us and she saw the cake and asked me about it so i said it was my bro's sixteenth b-day so then she launches into this rant about how sixteen years old is like a new world and she looks me over then says "it doesn't look like you're in that world yet" then i'm like "uh..i'm eight teen" -_- i'm just short darn it! we stopped by mcdonalds and got some food then my bro and i and greg argued over the radio stations. we got home and me and greg were looking through old photo's and he said they made him sad. my bro fell asleep on us so i was left to entertain him so i let him get on the net and then i let him go watch music videos in my room but he wanted me to watch with him. then he brought up the time i got drunk and flirted with him! ugh embaressing to say the least. then we went for a walk and greg kept trying to get cigarettes off of people but no one gave him one. then we went to the park and we were swinging and greg was jumping off his swing and once he shot up just straight up in the air and came back down hard and left an imprint in the rocks. greg took a shower and then he got on my bed and was taking my pillows so i took one back and put it on his shoulder and was laying against him. then we were watching more videos like gym class heroes and fall out boy and some rap music (against my will) then we watched love songs and it was weird so we stopped then chris brown came on and i hate chris brown, so greg paused it and then started staring at me and then started singing chris brown to me and i was like "stop!" then i was sitting next to him again and we started play fighting and it was funny and i kept pinching him. oh i also asked him about wheter or not he had a crush on my bestfriend and he said he didn't and i told him that i thought sydney liked him and he said he didn't like her. i don't really care who he likes but i think it would be so weird if syd and greg went out but their not going to so i don't have to worry. well anyways it's sunday and my bro's b-day. but also and more important it's time for the latest chapter of "murder and lyrics" yes, it is and i hope people read/comment today because i worked so hard on it! previously: timothy and danielle find that a fan named belinda was arrested for trespassing. belinda runs a site that tracks danny and danielle finds the photo's come in handy. timothy and danielle get a copy of daniel's will and find that danny left half of all his belongings to cassie. "murder and lyrics" chapter eight: suspicions and the funeral at dawn danielle reread the paper several times but it didn't matter. no matter how many times she read it didn't change what was written. the paper did state that upon daniel's death that half of everything he owned would go to cassie. the other things that weren't left to her were given to charity or to other friends and family. danielle didn't like this at all. it definitly made cassie look guilty but for some reason she just couldn't believe it. but there was the other side of things. how did lexi know about the will if daniel hadn't told her about if? but why would cassie suggest he get a will done? and why would daniel listen to her? "so what should we do?" timothy asked danielle. to be honest danielle didn't know, she glanced at the clock and saw that it was well after eight at night and that they had been working the case since six that morning. "i say we call it a night" danielle said as she handed the will back over to timothy. timothy nodded and took the will before putting it into his briefcase. "daniel's funeral is tomorrow at seven in the morning" timothy told danielle as they headed out of the room. "how do you know that?" danielle asked as again they passed through the halls and into the parking lot where thankfully things had settled down. "cassie told me before you showed up today" he said as he walked towards his car which danielle noticed was parked close to her's. "so i think we should meet cassie after the funeral is over" timothy told her as he opened his door. danielle nodded as she too got into her car. timothy nodded at her as he closed his door and started his car before pulling out of the parking lot. danielle too left to head home for the night as she drove she tried her best to fit together the pieces of this case. danielle didn't go to sleep that night. instead she got on the website that belinda ran. danielle was searching for anything that might be helpful, she was once again searching the photo sections. she had tracked some photo's down from before daniel started dating lexi and she noticed that cassie was often see out in public with him and they both looked relatively happy. but then she checked the photo's from after daniel started dating lexi and she noticed that cassie was basically nowhere to be seen. danielle went to bed that night still at square one, still not knowing who to blame. ************************************************************ as danielle woke that morning at six-thirty she wondered why in the hell anyone would want to have a funeral so early. she peeked out the window as she dressed to see the sky was still stuck in twilight. the sun just a faint glow to the east. danielle pulled on her dark clothes a normaly bad idea for the unpredictable L.A weather but fitting for the funeral. danielle rushed around her solem apartment collecting the things she needed for the hicks case. she was a bit nervous to leave too soon and arrive too early to the funeral. she didn't know daniel and she wasn't the type of person to show up at social events; even if the event was a funeral. danielle decided to stall in the form of logging onto her computer and checking her email. she tapped her fingers monotonly until the page loaded and she noticed that she infact had a new email. half thinking it was some spam about enlarging the penis she didn't have or getting a credit card danielle clicked on the email anyway. she was surprised to find that it was from belinda, the young fan she met yesterday. "detective kerley, i recieved this photo from a fellow fan yesterday thought it was important so here it is-belinda" the photo belinda was speaking of was one of one miss lexi hartford strolling the streets hand -in-hand with a young blonde male. danielle was surprised at the photo ecspecially the date marked on it. it was taken while lexi was dating suppose to be dating daniel. danielle called the station she worked at she needed the help of her assistant jenny. "jenny?" danielle asked when she heard someone pick up "yes?" jenny said as if she weren't sure who she was speaking to. "it's me danielle. i need you to print me something" danielle said to jenny over the phone as she stared at the photo currently on her computer. *************************************************************** cassie stood outside on the still dewy grass of the creekwood cementary a few minutes before seven. she stood dressed in the best black dress that she could afford and she regreted that her new shiny black shoes were probably being ruined by the wet grass. cassie stood before the black shiny coffin the one that oddly enough matched her shoes. cassie would've smiled had the thought of who it was lying in that casket not destroyed her. she rung her hands and looked around at the others in attendance. she saw danny's mother and his many siblings all of whom had flown out for the funeral. she watched his family odd how she knew danny so well yet she knew very little of his family. it didn't matter now though and as his mother caught her gaze cassie nodded a sympathetic nod that she knew could never help her heal. she continued to survey the crowd and her mouth dropped into a deep frown as she noticed the distinct lack of a overdramatic diva named lexi. it was common knowledge that cassie didn't care for lexi but she still expected lexi to show up at the funeral and cassie swore that if lexi dared show up late or intoxicated or even demanding attention she would kick her out as fast as her fifteen minutes were fading. cassie let out a deep sigh that clearly let out the feelings in her heart. cassie felt like she too was dying and she didn't think she could make it through the funeral. she stood in the front row along with danny's family and fellow bandmates. part of her felt like she didn't belong their but the other part of her wanted to be. the funeral goers saw the preist come and stand behind daniel's coffin and they knew it was time to begin. cassie sat in the small brown wooden chairs that pressed down into the grass and cassie looked towards the sky just peering at it wanting to look at anything except the procession because ever since his death she still thought that maybe danny would walk through the door, any door it didn't matter. she didn't listen as the preist talked she really didn't want too. it all made it real as if watching your bestfriend die didn't make it real enough. the look in danny's eyes as he died was a sight that cassie knew would never leave her. she had rarely seen him afraid and in that moment when he was shaking and clutching and gasping she could see the rawest of fear in his eyes. cassie listened later when people began remonicising about daniel. his friends and people he had know for a long time talked and shared memories about danny. cassie listened but never looked she instead chose to look at her again ringing hands and how the dark black of her dress contrasted so sharply with the white of her skin. the person currently talking at the small podium was the guitar player in the band. one mr. mike steven's. mike was talking about the first time he and danny played together and he laughed that sad sort of laugh as he remembered. mike finished talking moments later and the preist once again took the command. "our next speaker has known daniel a great deal of time and has shared countless memories. please welcome miss. cassandra smith" cassie's head shot up and this time she did look at the coffin and the preist. she honestly had no idea that she was meant to speak today, she had nothing perpaired and she could've sworn that someone was suppose to tell you beforehand that you were going to talk. cassie still undecided stood and somewhat awkwardly took to the podium. there she stood out before a sea of danny's friends and family herself counted as one. her heart thumped widly for a varying reasons. one being at the complete lack of what to say and the other being that she was extrememly too close to the casket. cassie took a deep breath and begged herself to speak knowing that she stayed silent too long. "i've know danny for six years" cassie began flinching on the inside at the fact that she used his nickname and refered to him in the present tense. "ever since high school" she rambled on still not knowing where she was going. "i swear he was one of the most unique people i ever met." this time cassie let out one of those sad laughs that mike had previously done. she looked down at the podium her eyes full of empty sadness. "we had our up's and downs in the friendship but i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, except maybe to have him back here with us. back when we were young he used to tell me he'd be famous one day and i-i always believed him. he also used to tell me that i could be his assistant, i was never so sure about that but here i am" cassie said with a small smile. cassie felt as if she was choking on her words and they were laying dead in her mouth stumbling her words. in this instant every memory she possed of him good and bad came flooding back to her. everyo word ever spoken, every touch ever passed, and each and every argument, bet, or song. it all came back and she was overwhelmed and she couldn't hold it back anymore. cassie cried at the alter of the funeral that day and was quickly helped off the podium by mike and a few of the other assistants. she was lead back to her seat as the funeral proceeded. a good ten minutes later it was time to go and view the body for the last time. the people all lined up and cassie really didn't care where she stood in line as it all felt the same. it felt to her like back in those high school days when you had to line up for something embarressing or something you didn't want to do. ever so slowly the line moved up each person taking their last look at dear daniel before permently cementing him to the lost part of their brains. finally it was cassie's turn and as she walked it felt like slow motion. like nothing was moving fast enough. it sounded to her like each step was heard a loud clacking despite herself being on grass. she stepped up to the casket that was now open and she rested her hands on the sleek edges as she peered inside. now fully seeing the cold dead body of her bestfriend. seeing daniel like this all odd looking and dressed up all cold and stiff. it was unnerving at best. cassie pressed a shaking hand to danny's face and brushed his now lackluster hair out away from his face just for a moment because she always liked his hair and she knew how much he himself liked it. it was strange because she felt that any moment now danny's eyes would open and he'd tell her to stop touching him. but he didn't he remained still forever dressed in his suit and tie. "goodbye danny" was all cassie whispered to him before he felt tears prick in her eyes and she fled from the casket. cassie ran from the casket but she didn't leave the funeral. she couldn't bring herself to do it. it was something of an old habit that she had been by his side for six years she wanted to make sure he got where he was suppose to be. cassie leaned against a large tree just a few feet away from where they were going to burry danny. cassie felt a tap on her shoulder and turned quickly her heart reaccting before her mind thinking it was danny she turned quickly to see detective kerley and fisher standing there. her face fallen she greeted the detectives with a handshake. "you've missed the funeral" she said as she turned away from them to again face the event. "we felt it was better that way" timothy said soft and sympathetic. cassie nodded agreeing with the detectives. cassie sighed and walked slowly out of the shade of the large tree and stepped out into the orange morning light. "do you know why the funeral was so early?" cassie asked expecting no real anwser from the two people. "it was because he always liked the sunrise. he used to say it looked like the sky was on fire during the early morning." cassie said as she stared at the orange ever brighting sky. cassie said nothing else after that but continued to stare forward and danielle herself was unsure of what exactly they were doing. how could they ask cassie about the will situation at the actual funeral? timothy and danielle noticed people had begun to leave the funeral and make the semi-long walk to their vechicle's. "everyone's leaving?" danielle asked, cassie nodded "their going to the will reading at his lawyers office" cassie said and danielle sensed that she didn't sound at all like she knew she was suppose to inheriate a small fortune. the three people noticed a slightly older man probably in his late twenties early thirties walking towards them. it was someone who looked like a part of danny's crowd. with the same black punk hair and the noteable apperance of eyeliner. the man smiled as he approached them and he stopped in front of cassie. "good morning cassandra" the man said as he smiled softly at the younger girl, danielle also noted that this man was very handsome. "good morning josiah" cassie said in a somber tone and although danielle could only see the back of her head she knew that the girl wasn't returning that soft smile. the man named josiah looked a bit nervous as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. "you know cassandra, i had hoped that our next meeting would be under better circumstances" josiah said as he placed a hand on cassie's shoulder. "yeah, same here" cassie said and danielle heard her voice break. josiah opened his arms to the girl and in an instant she was in his embrace and he was holding her as she cried. danielle wondered who this man was? he had showed up out of no where and was now holding a crying cassandra; when it suddenly hit her. the name josiah, she remembered it as one of the names cassie had given as one of the people who had seen daniel in his last day alive. after a few moments cassie had once again calmed down and josiah let her go. but he still held onto her hand. "are you going to the will reading dear?" josiah asked cassie and cassie nodded. "in a few minutes, i-i want to say goodbye to him first." cassie said and they noticed that nearly everyone had cleared out and daniel's casket was being lowered into the ground. cassie let go of josiah's hand and walked over to the plot in the ground. danielle and timothy nor josiah ever followed. cassie now stood just over his grave. and she looked down at the flower covered coffin. "after three years of taking care of you danny, what am i supposed to do now?" cassie asked sadly and again with the desperate laugh. cassie nearly began crying again and she wasn't sure what to say. none of the words in her head felt great enough to be the final words she ever said to him. "thank you danny, for all the opportunities and fun we had. thank you for all the things you gave me" she said to him before smiling softly and sadly and walking back away to the detectives and josiah. ********************************************************************* who is josiah hardwick? and why does cassie seem so close to him? and why wasn't lexi at the funeral? find out next chapter. *note it was extreamly theraputic to write this chapter. ~redmoonchick~

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