Friday, May 11, 2007

wentz in wonderland chapter two:
wentz in wonderland

chapter two: don't listen to talking doorknobs

pete wentz always imagined what death would feel like, but he never imagined anything like this. he was falling through a seemingly never ending darkness. the same darkness that had swallowed up ryan ross and hemingway, but pete couldn't see either of the aformentioned party, hell in the darkness he could barely see his own hand inches away from his face.

pete began to wonder if maybe seeing ryan and his dog were just his imaginations way of leading him into death, and the more he thought about it the more it seemed reasonable. he must've died out in that meadow while working on those lyrics that were now useless, sure that was probably it. maybe he had a heart attack? or was mobbed by a group of fangirls and torn to bits? pete hoped for the latter because he was sure no one else had ever died that way.

before pete could go on wondering morbidly about how he had died the darkness stopped. and suddenly pete wasn't falling but floating downwards. the reason for the sudden floating was that the wind had caught pete's hoodie and had puffed it open much like a parachute. pete eased his way down until he saw walls surounding him, the walls held knick knacks and other things that weren't too important to pete at the moment. pete had somehow gone upside down and landed with a small thud on the floor of a long tunnel.

a flash of red caught pete's eye and he looked up to see ryan was standing only a few feet away from him. "ryan" pete called out to his friend hoping to get some anwsers as to where the hell they were and what ryan was late for, but it looked like those answers would have to wait as ryan once again proclaimed he was late and took off down the tunnel. "ross, stop running away dammit!" pete yelled as he scrambled to get up and chase after the young guitarist, his own words echoing back at him in the tunnel.

he found himself once again chasing after ryan through this unknow world. pete could see that they were heading into a an empty looking room with a large wooden door and little else. ryan reached the door first and proceeded through it with little ease, "does he seriously think he can hide behind a door?" pete wondered as it was he was drawing closer to the seemingly normal door. pete was so preoccupied by his thoughts that he didn't notice the door getting smaller and smaller. when pete finally reached the door he noticed that it was now barely large enough to fit his head.

pete stood in disbelief for a moment before his anger took over him. "what the hell is this place?" pete asked no one in paticular so he was surprised when he got an anwser. "this is wonderland" the male voice echoed around the nearly empty room.

pete whipped around quickly. his dark eyes scanning every inch of the odd room for any sign of the mystery voice. "who said that?" pete asked as he realized that there was no one in the room with him..at least that he could see.

"it was me" he heard the voice again this time much closer. pete looked down to see the copper doorknob was the one speaking to him. "what the hell? your a doorknob you can't talk!" pete exclaimed at the now alive doorknob. "well you can't play the bass" the doorknob retorted back. pete forgot his 'i must be dead' theory and instead created a new one the 'i'm dreaming' theory, because only in his twisted dreams could he be insulted by a doorknob.

"whatever" pete began as he ignored the doorknob's insult. "listen i want to get through this door can you help me?" pete said never thinking in all his life that he'd ever be asking a doorknob for help. "just go through it?" was all the cocky doorknob replied, "hello, my head won't even fit", "that's because you have a huge ego" the doorknob insulted him once more. "dammit are you going to help me or not?" pete asked. the doorknob let out an exasperated sigh. "there on the table behind you there's a bottle labeled 'drink me' do what it says", "what table? there was no table in this room." pete said turning around his jaw dropped when he saw a metal table sat there with a small bottle of purplish fluid labled drink me.

"stupid materializing table" pete mumbled as he marched over to the table. he grabbed the bottle and eyed it wearingly before swigging most of it down. almost instantly pete could feel himself shrinking down until he was just the right size for the door. pete stood proudly and walked to the door before turning the handle and giving a good pull. the door failed to open, pete tried again with a bit more force but still the door wouldn't budge.

"what's going on?" pete asked the doorknob. "oh did i forget to mention that i'm locked?" the doorknob asked and pete felt his hands twist into fists. "so now what where is the key?" pete asked. "up there on the table" pete's mouth dropped open and he growled a bit. "i'm too small to carry that key now. so any other idea's?" he asked the doorknob. "there is a box of cookies on the table as well eat one and you'll grow large again" the doorknob told him. pete turned "i hate this place" he said as he made his way back to the table.

somehow pete had managed to climb up to the table and he proceeded to eat a cookie. instantly his body grew large, too large and he found himself cramped inside the room. now frustrated pete felt his eyes prick with tears at the thought of spending an eternity with a talking doorknob. pete cried and his huge tears filled the room. "you idiot drink the remaining fluid and shrink back down!" the doorknob cried. pete did as he was told and gulped down the liquid, again he shrank and again he was too small, so small infact that he slipped down into the empty bottle and floated right out the doorknob's mouth on his ocean of tears. "saved by an ocean of tears? doesn't get more emo then that" pete laughed to himself.
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