Saturday, February 7, 2009

a-z
a is for angel

pete and patrick strode along the sidewalks of some no name town they were staying at during the tour. they looked quite out of place in this small town, well patrick didn't but pete certainly did. pete with his black scene hair, obsenenly tight nearly illegal to wear in public girl pants and thick dark eyeliner, not to mention the brightly colored oddly designed latest clandestine creation.

no, this time the duo weren't earning stares due to their fame they were earning them to pete's outlandish looks, but it didn't matter because patrick loved him anyway, his bad taste and all. pete and patrick were enjoying one of their very rare days off. spending it lolling about in this small town. under normal circumstances patrick probably would've been bored to death but pete had the power to make anything entertaining.

the duo were heading to the local cd shop when pete spotted a small white sign with bright red writing hanging on a nearby telephone pole. any normal person would just give the sign a passing glance and kept on going but patrick had to remind himself that he wasn't with a normal person.

upon seeing the sign pete let go of patrick's hand (he had been holding it) and raced over to the sign bouncing on his heels as he read the sign. patrick sighed and made his way over to his boyfriend and the mysterious sign. patrick saw that the sign simply read 'yardsale' and gave the directions to the house.

upon hearing patrick behind him pete turned around his hands clasped together and a grin plastered on his handsome face.

"you want to go don't you?" patrick asked pete nodded excitiedly reminding patrick too much of a little kid. "why pete?"

"i love yardsales!" pete exclaimed as he reread the adress on the sign. patrick fondly watched his boyfriend and seeing his odd enthusiams for yardsales decided to go with him to it.

"let's go" patrick said. pete let out what could only be described as a squeal before grabbing patricks hand and pulling him down the forgein streets. patrick didn't know how pete found his way so quickly but before he knew it the two of them were standing infront of a yard filled with people and tables full of objects.

patrick saw pete's eyes light up as he pulled him into the yard sale before realeasing his hand and racing around to look at all the objects. eventually pete calmed down and the two of them had once again joined hands and were walking around the sale together. they approached a table and pete released patrick's hand to pick up something from the table, patrick had been focusing on something else and wasn't paying attention to pete so he was suprised when he turned around to see pete holding the single most hideous thing patrick had ever seen.

it was an angel a ceramic angel doll. with dark blonde hair and rosey cheeks and a halo perched upon it's head. it was hideous from halo to long white dress and there stood pete holding it like he had found some great treasure.

"that thing is ugly." patrick told him. pete's smile didn't fade

"really patrick? i thought it looked kinda like you, except for without the hat and glasses of course" pete told patrick and patrick knew he meant it.

"that doesn't look like me!" patrick argued but pete didn't listen he was focused on the ugly angel

"what's that little patrick? you want me to buy you and take you home with me?" pete said as he pretended to have a conversation with the doll.

"pete, don't buy that ugly thing!" patrick protested but pete didn't listen and promptly went to pay for the ugly doll. when patrick and pete came back to the tour bus pete presented the doll proudly setting it on the table where joe sat eating cereal.

"what is that?" joe asked between bites

"it's a mini patrick!" pete proclaimed while andy and joe looked at each other with a wtf? sort of look. days passed and still the angel sat on the tour bus andy had even been funny and found a little hat for the angel and someone had taken the opportunity to draw glasses on it, and nearly all had taken to calling it patrick. yes, the angel had become a permaent fixture on the tour bus much to patrick's dismay.

one day when patrick climbed aboard the bus he saw the angel no where to be found. pete climbed on the bus as well and noticed patrick staring at the spot where the angel should've been.

"i threw the angel out, i know you didn't like it" pete said as he walked towards patrick.

"it's wasn't a big deal you didn't have to throw it out" patrick argued as he watched his boyfriend.

"not a big deal, besides i don't need that angel when i have one right here" pete said as he slid into patricks arms and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"yeah, but i'm not ugly" patrick muttered before kissing pete again

"most certainly not" pete whispered.



b is for blood

pete woke up in the middle of the night as he always did. he stumbled out of bed slowly and clumbsily. an intense thirst seizing his throat. pete sleepily made his way out to the kitchen of the apartment that he shared with his three friends. pete rubbed his dark brown eyes as he pulled open the fridge and shrank back from the light. after he was adjusted to the light he bent down and rumaged around for something to drink. his normally handsome face pulled down into a frown as he lifted an empty beer bottle from the fridge.

"damn joe keeps leaving empty bottles in the fridge" pete growled as he set the bottle on the shiny metal countertop where it rested with many of patrick's broken gadgets. pete went back to the fridge and seized what he was looking for. a blender full of a dark red liquid, peter grimaced at the liquid but guzzled it down anyway some of it escaping out the corners of his mouth. he made a disgruntled noise as he set down the empty blender and wiped the remaining liquid off his mouth.

"it doesn't work so well anymore does it?" he heard a soft gentle voice say from across the room. the light from the open refrigerator worked to illuminate the room and pete was able to see that it was patrick talking to him, it didn't matter that he already knew anyway.

"i don't know patrick you invented it, you tell me" pete snipped at his long time friend.

patrick said nothing but pete could hear him walking forward towards him, he stopped far enough away from pete but enough to have the light catch him and give him an eerie glow.

"are you still thirsty pete?" patrick asked his hands falling to his side and fidgeting with the end of his t-shirt. pete didn't anwser patrick, he didn't want to know what drastic measure patrick's sleep deprived mind had thought up.

"cause um-you could drink from me" patrick said his voice filled with an air of uncertainty as his hands ran up to his shirt collar before pulling it back and exposing his pale neck. pete and patrick stood in the kitchen of the apartment in the seedy part of the city, in silence saying nothing.

pete let out a sigh "no, patrick" he said as he tried to walk past his friend, but patrick was having none of it as he felt a slightly chubby warm hand enclose around his ice cold wrist.

"pete, really! it's okay, i'll let you drink from me" patrick said again this time with conviction. pete let his mind flirt with the idea of drinking from patrick, of the horrid thirst finally being quenched but he stopped himself as the image of pristine fangs sinking into pale white skin entered his mind. pete placed his hand on top of patricks and gently pulled it off of his wrist.

pete left patrick standing there in the kitchen in his t-shirt and boxers illuminated in the light from the fridge. he made his way back to his room; back to his coffin as he lay inside of it he thought of his reason for saying no. it was because he would never want to make patrick into what he was, he would never want patrick to live this kind of life. pete closed his eyes tight even though he wasn't sleepy and thought of poor patrick out in the kitchen alone. he heard the sounds of the blender and he knew patrick was making more of the foul liquid for him. he thought of patrick to keep his mind off the horrible thirst that he could feel already creeping back into his throat.


c is for cards

patrick stump, pete wentz, joe throman, and andy hurley. all members of the popular band fall out boy. but what their fans didn't know was that when they weren't playing music they were championship card players.

the four boys sat around a large card table that had been set up in patrick's hotel room. why they always choose to converge in patricks room was anyone's guess. the four of them sat there at the table cards in hand. in the center of the table was a collection of random items, the band members bets. currently in the pile sat a rubber ducky, some spare change, a so called 'lucky' guitar pick, an ashlee simpson cd, and one i.o.u from pete wentz.

pete held his cards tightly not entire trusting the currently winning patrick that sat to his right. though by looking at patrick one wouldn't be able to tell he was currently winning at such a high stakes card game. it was andy's turn as he laid down his cards his band mates groaned at andy's good luck, it was time again for the boy's to make bets.

andy after much persuasion from joe decided to bet his favorite comic book, while joe took it upon himself to bet one of his favorite bongs. patrick bent down and dug around in the box that sat on the floor beside him before coming back up and setting an old jazz record on the table. it was now pete's turn and as all eyes fell on him he looked nervously back at them. pete set his cards down and dug through his hoodie pockets searching for something to bet. when no elusive item was found pete sighed and thought about forfeitting.

"well boys it looks like ol' petey doesn't have anything left to bet" patrick said as he grinned at his bandmates. pete thought for a moment and managed to think of a seemingly brilliant betting item.

"ok patrick, my bet is that if i lose i'll say it on stage tonight" pete said patrick gave pete a semi stunned look while andy and joe let out small overdramatic gasps.

"are you serious?" patrick asked and pete nodded with a new look of determination on his face. "fine suit yourself" patrick said as he lifted up his cards.

"but" pete continued "if i win then you have to say it on stage tonight" patrick grimaced a bit at the prospects of losing but turned to pete and gave him a grin.

"fine, we have a deal" patrick said as he was eager to get back to the game, more eager then ever. the group continued on with the game as pete and patrick began fighting for the win. eventually andy and joe were knocked out of the game andy furious that he lost his favorite comic and now praying for patrick to win seeing as patrick seemed more likely to give it back.

the game had now come down to the last move, pete's move. it was all or nothing, win or lose and it all depended on pete's question. patrick and pete could swear that everyone could hear their hearts beating or that all four of them would be crushed by the heavy tension that filled the room.

pete wipped the sweat from his brow before looking at patrick and asking that all important question.

"patrick do you have any two's?" pete asked. the entire group waited with held breath to hear patrick's anwser. patrick looked at pete with that classic blank poker face of his and gave him his anwser.

"go fish" patrick anwsered.

pete grimaced now knowing that his chances of winning were slim to none. but as his hand hovered over the small deck of cards he still prayed that the card he picked up would be a two of spades. pete seized the card and gave one last prayer before flipping it and looking at it. his heart fell to his converse covered feet as he saw that the card he got wasn't a two but a four of spades.

patrick grinned as his turn came up, everyone knew that he basically just won the game all that was left was the act of his turn.

"pete do you have any fours?" patrick asked. for a moment pete thought about lying and saying that he held no four's about hiding and keeping the card hidden in his pocket, but he was sure they would find out so he figured why bother. pete uncerimoniously handed the card over to patrick, which allowed patrick to make his final match and win the game.

patrick laughed as he grabbed up his box and took all his new belongings with him over to the bed. while andy and joe followed begging patrick for their stuff back.

that night at the show just as the boy's were about to go on stage patrick came up to pete.

"pete, you don't have to say it if you don't want to" patrick told him as he rested his hand on pete's shoulder.

"no, we had a deal, i'll say it" pete said as he lifted back the curtain a bit to look out at the crowd.

"you know it's going to be on all the blogs and video sites and entertainment shows tomorrow right?" patrick told him incase his mind hadn't thought of that ascept. pete said nothing just nodded and before he knew it they were out on stage. they let three songs slip by with out him saying it but just as joe and andy started playing the opening to hum hallelujah pete stepped up to the mic.

"ladies and gentlemen i have an important annoucment to make" pete began as he tried to speak over the uproarius crowd. pete looked over at patrick who held his mic in his hand, pete grinned before turning back to the crowd.

"i pete wentz am in love with patrick stump and were going to get married!" he shouted to the crowd who went wild at the thought of the duo as a married couple. they weren't sure if the fans knew if pete was serious or not but either way pete didn't press the issue and they continued on with the show.

the next day in the hotel room pete stood from the bed and turned on the tv. "our top news story! pete wentz and patrick stump two members of the band fall out boy are getting wed! let's take a look at the surprise annoucement" the newscaster's voice trailed on as pete stopped listening as he felt warm arms snake around his waist.

"was it worth it mr. wentz?" patrick asked as he kissed pete's neck. pete looked down at the golden ring on patrick's finger and smiled

"it was definitly worth it mrs. wentz" pete said to patrick.


d is for drummer

patrick stump sat out on the street corner of the lower eastside of chicago. he sat with his small drum set between his legs and an open drum case next to him with nothing more then a few quarters inside. patrick gripped his drumsticks with dirty fingers as he pounded away at the drums. his dirty matted strawberry blonde hair fell into his face and his thick framed glasses taped together in the middle threathened to slip off his nose.

despite all these problems patrick never stopped playing. he made the best music he could manage and on days when it was warm and his throat wasn't on fire he would sing. today was one of those days. patrick sang whatever song came to his mind, even if it was just bits and pieces. people would walk by and give patrick sad pitty filled looks but would never stop to give him money. some people did stop though and would drop change and if patrick was paticularly lucky he would recieve a few dollar bills.

today as he made his music the only thing keeping him alive he heard the dull thud of feet on the sidewalk. patrick didn't stop what he was doing no, he played harder and sang better because maybe, just maybe he would impress someone. the dull thudding grew closer and patrick could feel the vibrations of the city under him.

now was the only time he felt alive, when he felt like the city was alive and his music surrounded him. patrick could see a pair of feet standing in front of him. shiny black shoes and dress pants patrick kept playing but knew the melody by heart that he managed to glance up and take a look at the man who was standing before him.

the man had dark tan skin with dark slicked back hair and eyes to match. he was dressed in one of the finest suits patrick had ever seen and he was watching patrick with an small amused look on his face. part of patrick thought that maybe the man was just amusing patrick why would someone who looked like he belonged in some fancy office somewhere stop and watch patrick in his dirty ripped jeans and stained long sleeve shirt?

patrick didn't have to wait much longer as he finished his song and still the fancy man stood before him. the man grinned at patrick as he fished something out of the inside of his jacket. patrick saw whatever it was that he pulled out gleam in the sunlight before the man bent down and dropped it into the case.

"i enjoyed that" he told patrick as he stood upright and prepaired to walk away. patrick too curious to wait grabbed the man's leavings and surveyed it. he gasped aloud as he saw that the man had left him over five thousand dollars.

"why this much?" patrick asked holding up the wad of cash. the man never turned around just yelled back at patrick

"because i used to play music once upon a time"


e is for electricity


the wind blew roughly around the streets of L.A on that dark night. it was around two in the morning and most people didn't notice as they were asleep. one look at the street could tell you that. most of the house's lights were out and the houses sat dark and peacful. keep going down that street and you'll find the one house where all the lights are on. this house would belong to none other then mr. pete wentz.

pete sat in his living room in his pajamas a bright robins egg blue pair and bright pink bunny slippers. pete was currently huddled in a ball on his couch watching the weather channel. the stiff robotic weatherman said that a rather large storm was coming right in pete's direction. pete snuggled closer to hemingway as the fear seized his chest tight.

he got up entirely too antsy to stay sitting. he walked over to the kitchen and peered out the large window at the tree branches swaying violently in the wind. pete pulled down the curtains in the kitchen the tree branches only serving to increase his nerves.

pete was back in the living room and in front of the tv when a huge clap of thunder boomed outside and made pete jump and emit a girlish squeal. the squeal wasn't just because of the thunder but also because in that same moment the power in pete's massive home decided to go out leaving an already shaken pete alone in the dark.

pete whimpered and knew instantly that he couldn't be alone. pete stumbled over hemingway three times as he searched his dark house for his loyal sidekick. upon finding the device pete dialed a number he knew by heart.

"hello?" he heard a sleepy voice anwser

"can you come over?" pete asked as he hid in his bedroom closet

"why?" the voice asked

"because i need you!" pete whinned into the phone as hemingway licked his fingers. there was a long silence on the other end and pete half worried that the person had fallen asleep.

"fine, i'll be right over" the voice said. pete was about to hang up before he remembered something important.

"bring a flashlight" he said. in any normal conversation the second person probably would've asked why pete needed a flashlight in the first place but instead the voice didn't question just agreed and hung up.

pete grinned into his sidekick and sat in his closet for a good ten minutes before he heard the knock at the door. as quick as pete could manage in bunny slippers and using his sidekick for light he raced downstairs to the front door. pete reached for the handle but hesitated for a moment.

"who is it?" he asked just in case all the horror movies he had ever seen decided to come true.

"it's brendon urie, who do you think it is?" the voice said. pete laughed and pulled the door open, pete held up his sidekick to better see the other man's face. patrick stump stood in pete's doorway flashlight in hand looking every bit the hero that pete imagined him to be.

patrick flicked on the flashlight as he stepped inside

"nice bunny slippers wentz" patrick laughed as pete closed the door. pete wentz slept sounder then he ever had that night with patrick by his side.


f is for fingers

patrick thought about his favorite part of peters' body. it wasn't his gorgeous face though that was a close second. it wasn't his slightly rough voice or his hair, it wasn't even the most obvious choice for a favorite body part, the one that could been seen by simply typing his name into google images. no, patrick's favorite body part of pete's were pete's fingers.

the fingers long and skillfull that wrote the words that millions of fans lived by, the same words that cut patrick so deep every time he sang them because he knew who they were about. the same fingers that he knew held her hand and gripped her hips when they made love. the same fingers that once punched through a car window for the girl the lyrics were about.

patrick loved pete's fingers all the same.


g is for girlfriend

pete rolled over in his bed and touched the warm body of his boyfriend patrick. he grazed his hand down patrick's hip which for some reason felt a bit thicker then usual. he then moved his hand down and over patrick's stomach noticing considerably less hair there. pete was now a bit weirded out but not enough to warrent opening his eyes, instead he trailed his hands up to patricks chest and instead of feeling the flat hard chest he should've been feeling he was now touching soft warm fleshiness.

patrick moved a bit but didn't wake up and now pete was absolutely refusing to open his eyes because he didn't want to see who was laying next to him. pete in one last grand gesture to convince himself it was patrick he was laying next to trailed his hand to patrick's downstairs where lil' patrick should've been. what pete found down there was definitly not lil' patrick.

pete now alarmed that in sometime between he and patrick falling asleep and now some crazed fan had snuck in and had her way with him he quickly opened his eyes. there he saw was in fact a woman in bed with him a slightly chubby woman with strawberry blonde locks that fell just to her shoulders, a woman with the face of patrick.

pete now officially freaked out. he leapt out of the hotel bed standing back staring at the naked person in bed with him. the girl or patrick or who ever it was. the person on the bed opened their eyes slowly and happily as if waking from one of the most peaceful sleeps. they streched a bit and pete couldn't help but notice how the new body parts jiggled. the person spotted pete standing a few feet away from the bed.

"are you doing naked yoga again pete?" the voice soft and light and all too airy said. that was what sealed it only patrick knew about pete's attempt at doing yoga in the nude. patrick seemed to notice that his voice sounded different.

"pete! somethings wrong with my voice!" patrick squeeked out in a panic that only a lead singer could have. pete gave him a surveying look.

"that's not all that's wrong" pete said. patrick took the hint and looked down at his now ample breasts and lady parts. a girl's bloodcurdling scream filled the hotel and before either of them knew it joe and andy were at the door.

"what's wrong pete?" they asked in perfect harmony

"my boyfriend is now my girlfriend" pete replied.


h is for hospital

"i'm sorry pete" patrick said as he sat in the waiting room of the hospital holding a cold compress to his face.

"it's alright trick" pete said as he examined his newly stiched hand.

"no, you were having fun. i mean you were with emily" patrick said as he stared down at his shiny black shoes.

"it's fine patrick, i couldn't just dance with her and let those guys fuck with you like that!" pete said as he grinned at patrick through his broken lip.

patrick still didn't feel like it was alright and he felt even worse as he spotted a dark crimson stain of blood on pete's light brown suit. a man walked by and gave pete and patrick an odd look. pete laughed a bit realizing how strange it must look for two beaten teenaged boys wearing their best suits to be sitting in a hospital.

"i bet andy and joe are still letting them have it!" pete proclaimed and patrick realized that pete was proud of what they had done. patrick laughed a bit at the thought of andy and joe taking on whole legions of their classmates in honor of their friends.

"did you see pete? you had that band that was playing watching you too!" patrick said and now he too was sounding proud of the fiasco they caused at the dance.

"yeah, but sorry i couldn't get over there in time before that guy punched you" pete said sounding a little sad.

"what? this?" patrick said motioning to the wound on his face. "ah it's nothing, the other guy was worse" patrick said as he removed the compress from his face.

"yeah but now you got blood all over your good suit" pete said as he looked at patrick's light powder blue suit.

"yeah my mom is gonna kill me when she gets here" patrick said as he adjusted his glasses

"you know we're going to be the talk of the school on monday" pete said and patrick nodded. the two boys noticed patrick's mom pull up in her brown station wagon.

"still the best dance ever" pete said and patrick agreed.


i is for ice cream

pete and patrick sat on a park bench on the sunniest day of the year. they sat there people watching. nothing or no one paticularly interesting was around. pete watched a little girl with an ice cream cone walk by and patrick couldn't help but notice that pete's eyes were following her.

"careful peter, or someone will think you're a pedophille" patrick said and that seemed to catch pete's attention as he turned to face patrick.

"if you could be any flavor of ice cream which would you be?" he asked patrick as he leaned back against the bench his head falling back so he could stare at the sky.

"what? that's an awfully random question pete" patrick said as he looked over at his long time friend. pete just looked at him and shrugged.

"i don't know what flavor i would be" pete said as if him not knowing was making him sad. he turned his head to stare at patrick his brown eyes locked on blue.

"you'd be emo flavored" patrick said as he picked up a newspaper that sat on his lap and began reading. pete made an i am so serious don't you dare tease me face at patrick.

"i know what flavor you'd be patrick" pete said as he sat up in his seat. "you'd be strawberry light and sweet and sometimes a bit bitter" pete said and patrick was suprised at the unusually deep thinking that pete was doing.

"i know what you'd be but i don't know what i would be" pete said and patrick could recongize that pete was suffering from what seemed to be an identity crisis. patrick set down his paper and looked over at peter.

"i know what flavor you'd be pete" patrick said as he turned to face pete. "you'd be mint chocolate chip. a combination of sweet and minty and so cool that it numbs your mouth." patrick said and he too was surprised by his comparison of pete and ice cream.

pete grinned obviously liking the anwser patrick had given him.

"do i numb your mouth?" pete asked as he grinned and leaned into patrick

"i don't know, let's find out" patrick said as he leaned in the rest of the way and pressed their lips together. the little girl with the ice cream now watching them as she licked at her chocolate ice cream.


j is for jump

pete had thought of killing himself before, or course he had by now everyone knew about the infamous 'best buy' incident. pete always thought that was the best way to kill one's self, by overdosing on pills that after too long all felt the same. pete never thought about shooting himself even though he imagined that a bullet hole would look awfully pretty in his head. he never thought about slitting his wrists, he didn't want to stain his clothes. pete never imagined jumping off a building, he didn't want to be know as a stain on the city. after the best buy incident pete never again thought about killing himself. that was until patrick died.

pete stood on a chilly fall chicago night at the top of the tallest building he could find. it was three days ago that patrick died in a car accident. joe and andy said pete would eventually be ok but he knew before he even knew patrick was dead, he knew he would never be alright.

yesterday was the funeral and pete attended because he would never miss his chance to say goodbye to the only person who made him feel like he would never be hurt. andy and joe had been keeping a watchful eye on pete to make sure he didn't do anything to hurt himself, the only reason pete was here now was because he had snuck out of the house while they were asleep.

pete wrote a note of course because when your career is writing poetic words why not end it on one. he was sure that if he did jump the note would be plastered on every tv, radio, and internet blog. he didn't care because the last good thing in his life was gone and he never got a chance to say goodbye to patrick, because patrick was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital.

pete stood at the top of the building he looked up at the black night and ever since patrick died it never seemed blacker. pete was looking at the stars and wondering which one was patrick's and if he did jump would he see patrick again? according to everyone killing yourself was a sin and sinners like pete didn't get to see angels like patrick.

pete looked down at the busy streets of the cars with people, with things to do, places to go, people they cared about and pete wished that he was one of those people. pete looked down at his converse shoes and wondered about how much the impact of the sidewalk to his body would really hurt.

"patrick, when i fall will you catch me?" pete remembered asking patrick that a long time ago. patrick smiled sweetly and ran a hand through pete's hair.

"i'll always catch you pete" he whispered in pete's ear.

pete was crying now wet tears falling down his face as he pulled his hands from his jacket pockets.

"you better keep your promise" pete whispered as he jumped.


k is for kilt

"how do i look?" pete asked as he emerged from the bathroom and into patrick's old childhood room. standing proudly for patrick to see. patrick sighed as he watched pete turn to the long mirror and admire himself.

"i think you're actually enjoying this." patrick said as he watched pete give a little twirl; the kilt he was wearing fanning out around him.

"don't be jealous. you know i look good." pete said as he gave his reflection one last admiring glance before turning to patrick.

"but of course you look good too trick." pete cooed as he eyed patrick's ensemble. patrick sighed and shifted uncomfortably as pete eyed him. patrick knew full well that he looked no where near as good as pete did.

the outfits the duo were wearing were gray blazers over white ruffled shirts, black, white, and grey plaid kilts, knee high white socks with little tassles hanging off of them, and to top it all off a little grey caps with poofy red balls at the top. the reason there were dressed this way was for patrick's sister's wedding to a scottish man. hence all the men in the wedding party had to were traditional attire.

"ugh, i wouldn't even be doing this if it weren't for my sister!" patrick cried lamenting his outfit. he wasn't fond of standing infront of a crowd of people with his pale legs showing. pete on the other hand was more then comfortable wearing the kilt. his dark tan legs toned and muscular.

"i think-" pete began as he stepped closer to patrick a small smirk on his face. "that you look sexy as hell in that little kilt" pete said as he was now infront of patrick. patrick let a small smile ease onto his face. he had never been called sexy and it was nice to hear it even if pete was only doing it to lift patrick's spirits.

"really?" patrick asked as he eyed pete. pete nodded and leaned into patrick.

"i can't wait to take it off of you later." he purred as he placed a chaste kiss on patrick's lips. pete pulled away slowly smirking.

"one more thing you should know tricky." pete began.

"wha-what's that?" patrick asked already getting flustered by pete's actions.

pete leaned up to patricks ear and whispered so softly "i'm not wearing anything under my kilt" he said a seductive smile on his face as he turned and left the room swishing his hips to tease patrick.

"great" patrick thought. "now i have to sit through the whole wedding thinking of that."


L is for lyrics:

patrick fell on to his designated bunk on the tour bus. he lay there a full minute before he noticed a folded piece of paper stuck neatly between the rafters of his bunk and joes above him, it used to be pete's bunk but not anymore.

patrick reached up and took the note. he gingerly opened it and noticed right away that it was pete's cramped sloppy 'i'm inspired' handwriting. patrick sat up in his bunk before he read the note because he didn't want to miss a word.

patrick noticed at the top of the page the words "possible lyrics" were written. it was odd for patrick to recieve pete's lyrics this way. usually pete would show up excited to show patrick his new works and praying that patrick would like them and be proud.

though once patrick sat and thought about it, it didn't seem so unusual. he and pete weren't talking as of lately. due in large part to an incident that had happened a mere two weeks ago. patrick and pete stopped talking, pete switched bunks with joe and the only time pete and patrick even saw each other was during their shows and the awkward moments where they'd accidently bump into each other.

their relationship was strained but it was pete's fault. patrick read the title to the possible song, "bang the doldrums" patrick wasn't sure about the title. despite his unsureness patrick continued reading.
******************************************************************
"i wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm when you passed out."

"so this is goodbye patrick?" pete asked as he stood in the now messy hotel room. the room that had been torn apart by an angry patrick. patrick looked up at his lover, his bestfriend with red tear stained eyes.

"i can't be in a relationship with you anymore peter. not after what you did."
******************************************************************
patrick frowned at the memories that simple line brought back to him. he heard a noise and peeked his head out of his bunk mostly to make sure that pete wasn't around.

**************************************************************************
"bestfriends, ex-friends till the end. better off as lovers and not the other way around."

pete stood there a mild look of hurt mixed with shock played on his face.

"can we still be bestfriends patrick? no matter what i don't want to lose our friendship." pete almost begged patrick. patrick scoffed was he that desperate? did he not want to be alone that badly?

patrick stopped his packing only for a moment.

"bestfriends till the end." patrick said his voice dripping with sarcasm.
*******************************************************************
patrick squirmed uncomfortably as the words he said came flooding back to him. he held the paper and continued reading visions of the past filling his mind.

***************************************************************************
"can't commit to a thing be it heart or hospital bed."

"pete you're commited to me right?" patrick asked as he lay next to pete in the hotel bed. pete smiled at him and pulled the sheet up over both of them.

"you know i am patrick. it's only you." he said as he leaned down and kissed patrick's forehead.

patrick walked into the apartment he was sharing with his boyfriend and bandmate pete. he was earlier then pete expected but patrick wanted to surprise pete. patrick walked in and rushed to the their bedroom quiet as a mouse. he opened the bedroom door and was greeted not by his gorgeous boyfriend but by his gorgeous boyfriend on top of someone else.

"peter?" patrick asked wearily. pete turned instinctivly at his name and upon seeing patrick he shot up off the person and was standing naked and awkward in the middle of the room. patrick also saw the person that pete was fucking and an anger shot up inside him as he saw it was ryan ross.
********************************************************************
patrick folded up the lyrics and sat anxious on his bunk. pete had writen that on purpose, those lines were all too familar, there was no way it was all coincendental. the song was about their break up. patrick sighed and flopped back on the bunk. he couldn't imagine singing that song every night to their fans, hell he couldn't even imagine setting it to music.

why was pete writing new songs already anyways? they weren't even done with the tour for the from under the cork tree album and new stuff was the last thing on patrick's mind. patrick was restless because he knew the chances were good that pete would come to see what he thought about the lyrics and patrick should have something to say.
********************************************************************
patrick flopped down in his bunk exhausted after the last show of their honda civic tour. patrick lay for a full two minutes before he noticed a note tucked neatly into the rafters of his bunk. patrick smiled and grabbed the note. reading the scribbled messy 'i'm inspired' handwritting of one mr. pete wentz. the note was short and simple "i love you" writen in big letters across the page.

pete flopped down next to patrick and curled up next to him.

"i see you found my note." pete said against the skin on patrick's neck. patrick nodded and turned to the older boy.

"i love you too." patrick said as he kissed pete.

"best friends?" pete asked as he nuzzled himself closer to patrick.

"best friends till the end. " patrick said as he kissed pete on the forehead.


M is for made-up

every teenaged girl knows pete wentz. well, every teenaged girl with eyes and a libido knows pete wentz. or at least they think they know pete, but they don't...not my pete at least. they don't see the same pete that i do. what they see is a troubled young man who acts like a boy, a person locked in a peter pan complex. a man smothered in so much eyeliner you can't see the dark rings from the constant insomnia. a pete wentz who is on almost every type of medication and can't stand it.

they don't see the pete that collapses on my lap and begs me to tell him that it's all worth it, they don't see the pete that has to pop so many different types of pills just to stay as close to normal as he can get. the pete that covers his eyes so thickly in eye-liner to hide the rings around them. the pete who trembles and shakes in his sleep and sometimes sleeps in the empty bathtub.

i know that there are a million different pete's and the one that everyone else saw, the one that the public saw. it wasn't the real pete, he was only made up.


N is for never

patrick stump never believed in making wishes, but pete wentz did.

"i wish i never met you pete!" patrick screamed as he grabbed his coat and left the soundcheck. pete sat on the floor still down from when patrick had slugged him in the face. the two had gotten in an argument over pete's lyrics.

"they just aren't working for the song." patrick complained after his fiftieth attempt at making the song sound, well good.

"it isn't my lyrics! it's your crappy music!" pete hissed and drove patrick over the edge. patrick quickly swung at pete, his fist connecting with pete's jaw before andy and joe were even up to stop him.

that's when patrick wished he'd never met pete. that thursday night at 11:11 p.m. pete watched the clock from the floor as it changed over to 11:12.

yes, patrick didn't believe in wishes but pete did. so that's what pete figures happened as he awakes the next morning not in his house in L.A where he had been sleeping the night before, but a modest apartment in downtown chicago. pete grabbed his cell phone, again not the one he had when he went to bed but a cheap one.

at first pete thought that maybe he was dreaming or that somehow he got to chicago and someone else's apartment with out realizing. maybe he was kidnapped by a fan! these options all seemed rather unbelievable but compared to a wish they seemed less.

pete scrolled through the names listed on his phone and noticed a great deal of them missing. his record company, the clandestine workers, the panic boys were gone too as was william beckett's number but the one missing number that worried pete the most was patrick's. though pete was releaved to see that andy and joe's numbers still remained.

pete quickly called joe as he stood from the bed and walked around slowly seemingly inspecting the foreign apartment. it took four rings before joe anwsered.

"hello?" he said and it sounded as if joe had been sleeping.

"joe, man somethings wrong! i woke up and i'm-i'm not at home man!" pete said his mind finally seizing on to the thought that this wasn't right.

"what do you mean pete?" joe asked soundly mildly bored and half wishing that he could go back to sleep. pete grew frustrated at the lack of knowledge from joe.

"i don't live in chicago! i live in L.A! and patrick! what about patrick is he still mad about last night?" pete yelled at joe. there was a silence on the phone.

"pete, you been drinking?" joe asks, pete sighs into the phone giving joe all the anwser he needs. "pete, you've been living in that apartment for a good five years now." joe tells him, pete doesn't say anything but continues listening. "and what patrick are you talking about?" he asks. now pete is alarmed even panicking on the inside. it wasn't good if joe didn't know patrick.

"patrick stump! the lead singer of fall out boy!" pete tells joe plainly as if joe should've already known because he should have.

"uh, pete-" joe begins and a ball of dread drops into pete's stomach. "right, good one pete. as if patrick stump the lead singer of the award winning and super popular band cobalt is going to be in our band." joe says now laughing a bit and thinking of pete's phone call as nothing more then a joke.

"who the fuck is cobalt?" pete asks joe, and joe laughs again.

"only your current obession pete." joe says. "speaking of which, their on mtv right now." joe says and pete races as fast as he can to the living room, accidently running into the bathroom by mistake. pete reaches the living room which is decorated in his style though obviously by someone on a budget. pete finds the remote on the floor and turns on the television. it was already set on mtv and what pete saw nearly made him drop the phone.

there on the screen was a band the same identidiless airheaded vj was interviewing the band cobalt. that didn't interest pete what did interest pete was that the person currently talking was patrick, his patrick. it was patrick no doubt about that except that patrick was much skinnier then he had been last night.

"i'm here with the number one band in america right now cobalt!" the vj said to the uproar of the crowd. the band members nodded and grinned and waved to the crowd. "we're talking to front man patrick stump. how are you patrick?" the vj asked.

patrick grinned and pete noticed that he oozed a confidence that he had never seen before. "i'm great." he said and it sounded like patrick, so at least that didn't change. pete continues watching patrick as he talks about fronting a band and the thrill of their latest single being number one on the charts.

"uh pete you still there?" joe asks and pete mumbles a "yes" into the phone. pete asks if joe can come over and joe agrees and tells him he'll stop by in an hour. after he hangs up with joe, pete continues watching the cobalt interview on the television. they only stop talking to play one of cobalts video's and pete listens to the song so intent on hearing just what it all sounds like, to his relife and a bit of envy pete noted that this band had too realized patrick's singing ability and put it to full use.

pete watched the video that had patrick doing those show off moves that pete was famous for. he watched and noted that patrick looked happy. the show finally got over and pete was a bit sad. if he didn't know patrick in any other way that meant that those few moments were his only time to see him. while waiting for joe pete found a computer in the corner of the room and hopped on it instantly googling the band cobalt.

pete found that the band had formed not long after fall out boy had formed and he wondered vaugely what had changed. he read that patrick had met the guitarist of the group while patrick had been working at a coffee shop. that wasn't right joe was supposed to have met patrick at borders but he guessed that in this universe it never happened.

pete also found out that patrick had become a notorious hollywood player. having dated an extensive string of starlets. pete wondered how not meeting patrick had caused such a huge change in patrick's whole attitude. he figured if he was smarter he could explain it all.

pete also took the time to google fall out boy and he noticed a distinct lack of sites for them. he clicked on one and it revealed a picture of the band. pete noticed that joe and andy were there and he also noticed a man with his head on pete's shoulder. a man that pete had never seen before. it must've been their new lead singer.

joe did eventually come over and pete learned that fall out boy wasn't too popular a band. they did have fans but nothing even close to the sucess they had when patrick was there. pete also learned that he, joe, and andy had tickets to the colbalt show in chicago tomorrow.

by the next day pete had already grown bored with his new life and was desperately thinking of a way to go back. by the time the concert rolled around pete had still thought of nothing and instead was pouring over the fall out boy songs he found on the internet. apparently pete was also writing differently because none of the songs were the originals and each one was only semi to his liking.

the trio of pete, joe, and andy arrived at the cobalt concert and took their seats near the front. within minutes the concert started and pete watched patrick in all his glory. patrick looked good, if not better then he did with fall out boy. after the concert pete managed to make his way backstage, to where the band was having a meet and greet.

pete saw the thin confident patrick and for a moment considered never speaking to him because he seemed happy, and pete thought about letting him keep this happy life where he was the main attraction, but pete wasn't that selfless and he knew he needed patrick, not for the band but for himself, to be ok he needed him back.

pete glanced at the clock on the wall it read 11:09 he had two minutes to get to patrick. he made a mad dash for him and squeezed his way to the front of the line. patrick turned and looked at him at 11:10 and pete grabbed him and shook his hand and at 11:11 he whispered in his ear.

"i wish your wish never came true." patrick looked confused and pete was dragged away by security and thrown out of the venue. he landed with a sickening crack against the side walk and was knocked unconcious. when pete came too he was still on the ground but not a street outside of a venue in chicago but a recording studio in L.A on the floor his bandmates surrounding him.

"geeze patrick, i didn't know you hit him so hard." he heard joe say and pete cracked his eyes open to see joe, andy, and to his utter delight patrick standing above him. pete shot up too fast and his head spun. joe and andy quickly helped him to a chair in the corner and pete could feel a dull pain in his jaw.

pete glanced at the clock and saw that it read 11:21 he had been out for a good ten minutes. he knew that his wish had come true and he was glad that someone in the universe was looking out for him. andy and joe went back to their instruments and patrick lingered.

"pete i'm sorry-" patrick began but pete stopped him an apology wasn't necessary. he'd take all the beatings in the world as long as he still had patrick in his life.


O is for once

patrick was laying in his bunk the first time he heard it. pete had been sitting up at the front of the tour bus in an attempt to keep his conversation private. and it wasn't like patrick was listening, in fact he'd give anything not to have heard the words pete spoke.

"i love you ash." he heard pete say into the phone and patrick could swear that they felt like knives stabbing him in the heart. it was in that moment that patrick started hating her.

it was about a week later when pete brought her around to meet the guys for the first time. the two of them bounced onto the bus like a pair of lovesick teenagers and patrick nearly threw his cup of water at them. of course andy and joe were polite and came up to shake ashlee's hand as pete introduced them. patrick took this as his chance to slink back and if at all possible melt into the wall.

pete noticed that patrick wasn't stepping forward to greet her and a small frown appeared on his face. "ash, that guy over there is patrick." pete said as andy and joe moved aside and it was straight shot from patrick to ashlee. ashlee grinning her stupid head off moved towards patrick and patrick cringed on the inside before putting on a small smile and taking her hand and just as quickly letting it go.

"ah this is the infamous patrick! peter has told me so much about you!" there were two things that patrick really hated about her sentence. one: she called pete, peter that was something special and two: she said that pete talked to her about him. something about that upset patrick, he didn't want pete to talk about him to her. hell he didn't want pete to talk to her period.

the smile faltered on patrick's face and instead of looking at ashlee he was staring straight at pete who was staring back looking just a bit perplexed.

"sorry, i'm not feeling too well, so i think i'm going to go lay down." patrick said as he still looked into pete's face. pete now looked taken aback as if he hadn't expected that.

"oh-" ashlee started before being cut off by pete

"we were all going to go have dinner, trick." pete said a bit more desperate sounding then he meant it to.

"well, go without me. i'm not feeling good." patrick snapped before he crawled into the bottom bunk and pulled the curtains closed. he didn't even bother to say goodbye to ashlee.

"uh-well ok trick...ash, guys, can you wait for me outside?" patrick heard pete ask and the next thing he heard were sets of feet leaving the bus. he heard silence before pete spoke.

"it's just you and me trick. are you sure you don't want to go?" pete asked his voice small and almost sounding injured.

"yeah, i'm sure peter." patrick said more harshly then he meant to and without another word pete left too. patrick had thought that them all leaving would make him feel better but he was afraid nothing could ease his ill mood. he remained in his bunk long after his bandmates returned minus ashlee. and it wasn't until the next day that pete rounded on him.

somehow pete and patrick had ended up alone together and patrick secretly cursed joe and andy for leaving. patrick was sitting on the couch and pete came over and flopped down next to him.

"patrick?" pete asked

"yeah, pete?" patrick replied as he played around with sounds on his computer.

"what the fuck was yesterday about?" pete asked and patrick looked over at him surprised.

"excuse me?"

"you know what i mean! why were you rude like that?" pete practically shouted at patrick.

"i don't know what you mean." patrick said and he could tell he was pushing pete's patience but maybe that's what he wanted.

"cut the shit patrick! you know exactly what i mean! why were you being a dick to ashlee yesterday?" pete saying her name cut through him.

"what? i didn't feel good! suddenly i'm not allowed to? i have to drop everything and run out with the two of you?" patrick yelled back equally as loud

"no, but at least be nice! i know you and that patrick, wasn't you!" pete argued

"well, pete guess what? this is a free country and if i don't want to like someone i don't have to!" he growled.

"so you admit that you don't like her?" pete asked as he stared at patrick. patrick hadn't noticed before but his heart was beating fast and hard in his chest.

"no! i don't like her alright?"

"why? what's wrong with her? why don't you like her?" pete asked as he sounded hurt.

"because she's with you!" patrick muttered, pete scoffed.

"what? why does that matter? are you in love with her or something?" pete asked and he was dead serious and patrick's brain felt like it was boiling and before he could stop himself the words slipped from his lips.

"no, it's because i'm in love with you!" he shouted at pete and the words left him as did a somewhat anguished sob. pete remained silent and patrick kept his head down as he dared not to look at pete. the biggest secret that he had been keeping for a good year and a half had just been spilled and he was afraid of it all.

"are you serious trick?" pete asked

"i wouldn't lie about something like that." patrick said and in that moment they both knew that patrick was serious. a silence blanketed over the two of them and as each second past patrick could feel their friendship breaking.

"i-i don't know what to say trick." pete stammered out and patrick knew there could be no good ending to this scenario.

"say you'll still be my friend." patrick said as he still avoided eye contact with pete.

"trick, i'd never stop being your friend no matter what...you're so important to me." patrick wished pete wouldn't say things like that, it didn't help the situation.

"but not as important as her." patrick said and pete was silent and in that silence patrick got all the anwsers he needed. he stood up quick because he could feel his own heart imploding and tears prick his eyes.

in a flash pete was up as well and turning patrick around.

"patrick you're my bestfriend and i love you." pete said but patrick already knew what he was going to say but he didn't want to hear it not from pete and in one rash move again the words spilled from patrick faster then he could stop them.

"then give me one kiss pete. just one kiss, just this once." patrick said as he stared determined in pete's eyes. pete's face went blank and suddenly it seemed as if pete was the nervous one.

"trick-"pete began but patrick cut him off.

"just this once pete, just so i know what it's like." he said and pete nodded and in one fluid movement patrick and pete's lips met and it was like everything patrick had ever imagined multiplied by a million. patrick committed the kiss to memory and never wanted to break it and he was surprised that pete had not yet done so.

the duo did break breathless and staring at each other and patrick wanted more but he knew that once was all he would get.

"thank you pete." patrick said as he once again turned to walk away,and again pete grabbed him and turned him and without out another word they were kissing again and patrick asked no questions just took what pete gave and when this kiss broke they again stared at each other flushed cheeks and swollen lips.

"pete?" patrick asked pete grinned

"i'll break it off with her tomorrow." pete told him and patrick's mouth dropped open.

"what? why?!?!" patrick asked in complete shock at what he thought pete was saying.

"because patrick, once is never enough."


P is for Porn

patrick and pete sat together on pete's hotel bed. the duo were stuck in the hotel room due to the bad weather outside. it took everything in patrick's power to keep pete from running around outside in the severe thunderstorm.

they sat on the bed being bored out of their minds patrick was sat his back against the headboard and his lap top open on his lap and pete was laid on his stomach beside patrick his feet near patrick's head and the remote in his hand. it was also silent in the room as neither man said anything to his companion.

a loud clap of thunder was heard from outside and it seemed to wake them out of their silence.

"paatttrick i'm booored." pete whined and patrick rolled his eyes as he looked up from his lap top.

"watch tv pete." patrick suggested but he knew to pete that wouldn't do.

"nothing's on." pete complained, patrick sighed a bit.

"then order a movie." patrick told him and pete's face lit up. he instantly took to the movie screen and was scrolling through the movies trying to decide which one was worthy of his money. they was silence once again in the room as pete looked at the movies before suddenly he was laughing.

"patrick!" he began excitiedly

"what pete?" he asked only half interested

"i found porn!" pete exclaimed and patrick looked up

"what? you didn't order it did you?" patrick asked alarmed at the sudden headlines that popped into his head.

"fall out boy loves porn!"

"no patrick, i just wanted to read the titles." pete said and patrick knew he was 100% serious. so that's how they spent the next five minutes. patrick was back on his lap top and pete was reading the titles to porn movies and laughing at the paticularly funny ones.

eventually it caught patrick's attention and he began reading them too.

"ha ha pat-patrick look at this one! big bertha's bang-bang train!" pete said as he clicked on a title. patrick laughed and could only imagine the exploites bertha and her bang-bang train would get into. eventually though they ran out of porn to look at and once again boredom set in.

"patrick?" pete began as he rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

"yeah?" patrick asked not bothering to look away from what he was doing.

"if fall out boy made porn what would the titles be?" pete asked in a far too innocent manner.

"what? porn titles?" patrick asked now giving pete his full attention.

"you know, what if our songs were like the titles of porn movies? what would they be?" he asked as he turned to face patrick. patrick thought about it and anwsered pete.

"how about thnks fr th man love?" patrick suggested and pete broke out in a fit of giggles. still laughing pete sat up and crawled to sit next to patrick.

"i got one: dance, dance without your clothes on." pete said. patrick laughed and before long the simple game had turned into more of a competiton between the two of them to see who could think of more songs turned into porn titles.

"what about gernade humper?" pete said on his tenth turn. patrick grinned and nodded.

"that's a good one. hmmmm sugar, your going down on me." patrick said as he laughed at his own offering.

"the pro's and con's of beating off." was pete's choice while patrick went with the gem

"a little less sixty-nine a little more tongue me" which had pete rolling on the floor gasping for breath.

"i-i think you won, trick!" he exclaimed as he caught his breath. they laughed together a few more minutes before pete got up and dug around in his bag much to patrick's curiousity. a moment later he returned with a camcorder in his hands.

"what are you doing pete?" patrick asked as he stared up at him. pete climbed on to the bed and stood on his knees.

"making our porn." was all he said as he kissed a very surprised patrick.

a few weeks later as andy was digging around pete's bag in search of his drumstick he came upon a tape.

"hey pete, what the hell is a little less sixty-nine a little more tongue me?" andy asked as he read the title of the movie and pete started laughing while patrick turned bright red.


Q is for questionable

"his behavior is questionable at best." the doctor told patrick as he stood inside the office talking with him. peter stood just outside the door of the office but didn't go inside because he doubted this conversation would go on if he entered, mostly because the conversation was about him.

"his behavior has always been questionable. that's just the way pete is." he heard patrick say and pete leaned forward peeking into the room through the slit in the doorway. he knew he wasn't supposed to be hearing this conversation but it didn't stop him from listening.

"yes, but patrick didn't you tell me that his more recent behavior has scared you?" doctor zahn asked and patrick nodded and fiddled with his hat.

"well i mean it worries me more then anything." patrick said and for some reason pete felt his heart sink a bit. he never wanted to make patrick worry, he knew he was fucked up but he didn't think it was this bad.

"well patrick, i think you should watch him for a few days and if it becomes worse then do call me." the doctor said and patrick nodded and pete knew the conversation was nearing an end so he retreated from the door and as nosily as he could reapproached it so that the two men inside would know he was coming.

sure enough the door was pulled open and patrick stepped out grinning at pete as if he hadn't just been talking behind his back.

"you alright peter?" patrick asked and pete plastered on the fake smile like he had done so many times before and nodded.

"yeah, went to the bathroom. that's all." pete said as he stepped towards patrick and doctor zahn. doctor zahn too smiled at pete returning the fake smile. he knew, he already knew that the doctor wasn't pleased to see him again. not for the fifth time this month. and patrick...he was beginning to think that patrick wasn't happy at all. who could be happy after all with a mental patient for a boyfriend?

pete was asked a few questions by doctor zahn. simple things like "if he was hearing voices" or "if he felt anxious" pete anwsered the only way he knew how. he told him what he knew they wanted to hear. patrick and the doctor chated a bit more, not about pete but pete's medication. pete didn't understand why doctor zahn wasn't talking to him about it when he was standing right there looking down at the floor. after a few moments the two of them left and patrick promptly took hold of pete's arm. either out of loving gesture or of fear that he might run.

on the drive home patrick rambled on about doctor zahn, his suggestions, and things he had read about things that helped people like pete. pete was turned facing the window his forehead pressed against it. he wasn't really listening to patrick. it was hard to listen when it all sounded like the same conversation.

it was at a stop light when pete noticed it for the first time. a mass of black that seemed almost formless. he focused his eyes and tried to see what it was, though to him it looked blurry and unfocused. he thought about asking patrick if he could see it but he was afraid that maybe the anwser would be no.

as the car pulled away from the stop pete whipped his head around to watch the mass and as they drove away he could see the form of a person dressed all in black. thinking that his mind was playing tricks on him pete pulled away from the window and rested back into the seat.

pete closed his eyes and his mind went back to the black figure. it seemed familar to him, somehow it all felt so familar. pete blamed it on his failing mental health and before long he and patrick were home. patrick helped pete get settled back into the house and for the hundreth time that day pete felt like patrick was more of his mother then his lover. patrick left to the kitchen to make them dinner and pete flopped down on the couch that he felt was always too soft and would never be right no matter how hard it tried.

pete tried watching tv but when all the shows and commericals run together into one screaming mass of voices, it get's hard to concentrait. he sighed and flicked off the tv before shuffling his way downstairs to the basement where his beloved insturment was. pete picked up his bass he was happy that he could still feel the joy it brought him. he tried to play a few notes but it all seemed out of tune and more of a piercing roar that broke all calmness then the soft low thrums of bass strings.

pete set down the bass and headed into the sunroom. he lay on the floor where the sunlight poured in from the windows and he was bathed in the warm glow. pete felt that in these moments when he was drenched in the warmth was the only time he could ever turly be golden. pete must've fallen asleep while he was basking in the warmth because the next thing he knew he was surrounded by the blackness once again.

this time it was different though, this time it was a cold wet kind of darkness. as if he were emerged in water up to his waist. his arms were also engulfed in the wetness up to his elbows. somewhere in the darkness he could also hearing screaming. wheter it was his own or someone else's he'd never know because in that moment he was shaken awake by patrick.

patrick and pete had dinner in mostly silence and pete watched patrick, mostly surveying him. he always wondered what patrick was thinking about him. always wondering when patrick would leave him. eventually he and patrick reitred to bed and patrick laid beside him and talked to him. it was always like patrick to try and keep pete normal and sane even though they both knew that pete was slipping away.

patrick fell asleep long before pete would and pete slipped out of bed carefully and quietly as to not wake patrick. pete left the house without his shoes because he liked the feeling of warm cement on his bare feet. he made the small trip to andy's house which was only about two blocks away. he made it to andy's house and with a small rap on the front door waited patiently for andy to anwser.

pete knew that andy would know exactly what he came for. andy came to the door about half a minute later and it looked like he was settling down for bed.

"pete?" he said surprised but not upset. before andy could talk anymore pete propelled his body at him. his hands coming to rest on either side of his face and their lips pressed together. andy backed up into the house with pete following him and pete turned them suddenly and pressed andy against the door closing it.

this wasn't an uncommon thing for the two of them. it had been happening for at least five months now. or whenever patrick started treating him like he was different. pete started coming to andy. he wasn't sure how it really all began but it did and pete needed what andy gave him to survive.

the duo promptly made their way into the bathroom, shedding clothes as they walked. they ended up in the bathtub. touching and teasing while the water filled. in moments the duo were emerged in the water, pete straddling andy. andy about to take pete in the way that he wished patrick would. yes, pete was in full on fucking mode with andy when suddenly he looked at andy and saw, not the sweet scruffy andy but a dark and horrifying creature whose body was black and appeared to be made of smoke.

pete screamed and pulled back away from the creature. without thinking, without speaking pete attacked the creature, thinking that maybe if he attacked it, no killed it! then andy would return to him. pete wrapped his fingers around the creatures neck and it's large black clawlike hands came up grasping at pete's forearms. pete fought the creature and pushed it's head under water holding it there.

he heard the creature sputter and thrash and claw at him but he knew if he wanted to save himself, if he wanted to save andy then he'd have to kill whatever this thing was. pete was surprised that he was stronger then the creature, and before he knew it the beast had gone still and floating black eyes wide and open under the clear water.

before pete could celebrate his victory, something happened. everything seemed clearer to him and the blackness faded away. pete looked down at the now dead creature and nearly threw up in fear and shock. lying there in the bottom of the filled tub wasn't the creature that pete had just seen. no, it was andy!

pete gagged and his insides were numb. "no!" he thought as he stared down at his lover and his friend. "no! there had been a monster! it wasn't andy!" pete thought desperate to believe himself. pete looked down at his own arms and chest and gasped as he saw the dark lines that andy's nails left in his skin. andy had begun to float up to the surface and pete shot back sloshing water all over the floor. as quickly as he could without thinking too much pete climbed out of the tub and ran around the house leaving wet foot prints in his wake.

pete felt like he couldn't breath as he struggled to pull his clothes on over his wet body. he would never kill anyone on purpose ecspecially not andy! he knew he saw the creature! it was real, he believed it. the problem was that no one else would. pete was finally dressed and ready to go but before he did he crept back to the bathroom as if andy would be able to sense him. he peeked his head into the room and gasped at what he saw. pete saw the same sort of formless black figure standing over andy that he had when he had been driving with patrick earlier that morning.

the black figure was standing over the tub peering down at andy. it's black smokey eyes watching the corpse intently. pete knew it had to be real! this couldn't all be his imagination and that the black figure must've been what killed andy. pete convinced himself that, that was what had happened and he left the apartment as quickly as he could. releasing himself back out into the cool air of the city.

pete was paranoid as he walked the city. he felt that every person who passed him knew what had happened. he felt as if they were all watching him. pete didn't know where he was going but he knew it wasn't home. even though he knew that patrick would be the most likely to help him. lucky for pete he didn't have to decide where he was going as fate had already decided when he bumped into joe on a street corner.

"pete! man what are you doing here?" joe asked as he looked at pete. pete felt like his tongue was too heavy to move but he anwsered joe anyway.

"i was just going for a walk man." pete said as he ran a hand through his hair and prayed that joe couldn't suddenly read minds. joe nodded as if he had no reason not to believe pete's story.

"well man i was just taking these groceries home if you wanna come." joe said and pete nodded because maybe if he talked with joe he'd forget what had just happened. pete followed joe upstairs to his apartment and the duo entered without speaking. joe headed to the kitchen and joe offered pete a drink. pete declined due to his medication and instead offered to help joe with the groceries. as joe turned to give pete a bag he knocked a container of knives over and they fell to the floor, a few of them slidding over to pete.

pete bent down and picked up the knife nearest him, a large shining steak knife. pete stared into the reflection of the knife and gasped when he saw a dark gleam of black. pete shot up and screamed as he saw another black grotesque creature standing in the kitchen where joe had been.

"no, not again!" pete screamed as he stared at the creature, who slowly turned it's deformed hideous head to stare at him with those dead black eyes. the creature then began moving in small slow steps, towards pete. pete backed away terrified.

"where's joe? what did you do with joe?" pete yelled at the beast. the beast turned it's head almost quizzically before advancing on pete and grabbing his wrist trying to take the knife away from him. pete fought back because it was all he could do, he didn't know what these creatures were or why they were attacking him and his friends he just prayed it wasn't too late to save joe.

pete shoved the creature down and glanced at the knife in his hand. as quickly as he could he brought it down plunging it into the beast's chest. pete tried to block out the screams that filled the air, those of the beast and his own. pete stabbed the beast repeatedly as it tried to crawl away and fight back. finally the beast lay still and pete was on his knees breathing heavily, his jeans soaked in the creatures dark blood.

just as it had happened before the darkness around pete seemed to melt away and his vision returned and again pete was repulsed at the scene before him. there laying below him, his body marred with multiple stab wounds was joe. pete dropped the bloody knife from his hand and he shook as he bent down and grabbed joe pulling him up into his arms. there he cried apologizing to joe, begging him for forgivness. he didn't know what was happening but he knew one thing now. he could never see patrick again.

pete left joe's apartment, so numb and frozen that he didn't bother cleaning up. he was stained with blood. pete had taken joe's keys and gotten into joes car and drove. where he was going? he wasn't sure. he couldn't go to anyone he loved or cared about in fear that they'd end up dead. pete was driving and not concentrating when he noticed someone standing in the street ahead of him. pete stopped the car it's breaks squealing as he saw patrick in the road. patrick looked nervous as he started towards the car.

pete didn't give patrick time to get to him he leapt from the car and began backing away slowly.

"pete! what are you doing out here? i was so worried! come on pete, let's go home." patrick said as he walked towards pete. pete shook his head.

"no patrick! i-i can't go home!" he told him as he backed away off the sidewalk. patrick looked worried.

"yes, you can pete come on. i'll take you home and give you your medicine. it will all be okay." patrick assured him but patrick didn't know the things pete had done tonight.

"no, trick! i did things tonight...bad things!" pete screamed as he backed his way into oncoming traffic. pete saw the headlights coming and thought for a split second he would stay there and get hit and die, because he deserved to die as well. but the car that had been coming stopped so pete did all he could do. he ran.

pete ran up the streets and around corners anywhere he could go. he glanced back and saw patrick chasing him. pete ran faster and made more complicated moves in the hopes that patrick wouldn't be able to follow but those hopes were dashed as patrick kept on him. he turned suddenly and darted into an open door to an office building. what an office building was doing open so late was none of pete's concern as he raced up the flights of stairs.

pete could hear the echous sounds of patrick following him and his voice yelling for him to stop but he ignored it because he knew what he had to do. pete made his way to the open roof of the building and he stood as the wind whipped around him. patrick had followed him up to the roof and pete turned quickly as he looked at his lover.

"pe-pete! why are you running from me? what are you doing?" he asked out of breath and clutching his side.

"patrick, i can't be allowed to live anymore. if i do i-i'll end up hurting you." pete cried as he moved back a few feet.

"what? no pete you could never hurt me. you love me and i love you! i need you pete you can't die!" he told him. pete shook his head.

"i will hurt you! just like i hurt andy and joe! now please patrick go home! i don't want you to see me do this!" pete yelled as he stepped back until his back bumped into the cold stone edge.

"pete, come on. get away from the ledge...we can talk about whatever is going on okay? we can talk to andy and joe." patrick told him as he extended his arm out and slowly began approaching pete.

"no we can't trick! all i can do is kill myself so no one else get's hurt!" he yelled as he climbed up on the ledge. patrick looked scared more scared then pete had ever seen him look before. "i'm sorry patrick, i have to do this. you'll understand tomorrow." pete said and before pete could jump patrick rushed forward and grabbed him and pulled him down off the ledge, held him there on the roof as pete struggled to get away.

"NO, NO PATRICK NO! I'LL END UP HURTING YOU NO!" pete screamed as he broke free from patrick and shoved him away. it was only too late before pete opened his eyes in time to see patrick fall off the ledge of the building. pete screamed and raced forward but it was too late to grab him and patrick fell to his death. pete couldn't breath now. he had never felt a pain like this before. it felt like pete's entire body was shutting down and his brain had already left. he could see nothing but the look on patrick's face as he fell off the building and he could hear people screaming and sirens blaring down below.

pete turned to his left and saw the blackness, the figure of a person standing there watching him.

"you! you did this! why? why did you kill my friends?" pete screamed. the figure said nothing but walked away pete got up and followed running after the blackness. he chased it down the stairs and hallways forever chasing it through the empty building. it entered a room and pete burst inside after it. realizing it was the bathroom pete stopped and looked around unable to find where the creature went.

"where are you? please just tell me where you are!" he cried as he came to stop infront of the mirror. pete let out a cry as reflected back at him was the blackness only it had taken the shape of peter himself. tears fell from pete's black eyes as he realized that all along he had been the darkness. it was he who had killed his friends, and he was so insane that only he could see the creatures and the darkness.

pete groped in his pocket for a gun he didn't know he had and with one last glance at his reflection he pressed the barrel to his temple and pulled the trigger. freeing himself from the darkness.

"pete's behavior has always been questionable. that's just the way pete is."


R is for Resemblance

"okay so who do you think he resemble's the most?" patrick asked for what had to be the tenth time that day. pete sighed.

"trick, that's like the hundreth time you asked me that." pete said as packed the large neon green diaper bag. patrick rolled his eyes.

"i asked ten times at most." he began as pete grinned at him. "but i only ask because i can't tell who he looks like!" patrick argued.

the 'he' that patrick was referring to was the duo's three week old son whom they named liam. a name choosen by patrick who had to use everything in his power to convince pete that yomama wasn't a good name for a child..or anyone for that matter. to be truthful the child's full name was liam lewis kingston andrew joseph hemingway stump-wentz.

pete turned away from filling the diaper bag and turned back to the bed to look at patrick and his son. the baby was concevied using a serogate mother but he also had pete and patrick both in him. liam to pete at least, looked more like patrick.

of course the baby came out with pete's tan skin and dark hair but had managed to have patrick's blue-green eyes and when liam smiled he could see bits of patrick.

"i still think he looks like you in the face." pete told him and patrick lit up despite himself and pete grinned as he came to settle on the bed next to his lover and their child.

"yeah, but i mean he looks like you mostly." patrick said and he didn't sound angry or jealous but more observent. why wouldn't he want his son to look like pete? he loved pete. patrick watched as pete played with the baby, making faces at him and tickling him. all the while liam giggled his head off.

this is what patrick liked seeing the two of them together. they were the cutest thing he had ever seen and already pete had taken about a million pictures of the kid and posted them everywhere and sent them to everyone they knew.

patrick lifted the baby into his arms and held him because this was all he ever wanted a family with pete. their son was perfect and he knew that they were going to be good parents. patrick could see the first day of school already and how maybe pete would be as nervous as liam would be.

patrick could see things like first words, and first steps, first dates were no doubt pete would take pictures. patrick could see a million moments for his son, but he didn't like to think too far ahead because right now was fine with him.

pete leaned into patrick and kissed him on the cheek and liam reached out placing his hands on his father's faces. and patrick knew that this moment was perfect.


S is for secret

"it's not exactly a secret is it?" joe asked patrick out of the blue as the duo sat on the tour buses couch.

"what?" patrick asked, tearing his gaze away from the window and looking at his curly haired band mate.

"pete being in love with you and vice versa...it's not really a secret." joe told him with a little shrug. patrick leaned in and took a good look at joe's blue eyes, attempting to see if the boy was high.

"dude, i'm not high." joe laughed as he leaned away from patrick's gaze. "i'm only saying...it's really fucking obvious."

patrick rolled his eyes slightly and resumed his staring out the window that was across from the couch.

"yeah, but if it's so obvious then why does everyone see it but him?" patrick asked, his voice low and laced with deep feelings, feelings that joe could never really hope to scratch the surface of.

joe wasn't sure if patrick wanted an anwser but he gave him one anyway.

"maybe he's just afraid, afraid that if he admits it, really admits it then it'll become real and then he runs the risk of ruining everything. of losing you and us and everything he holds so dear." joe told him.

patrick was surprised because he thought that he was the only one who really understood pete but he figured that after so many years together it was only natural for everyone to begin to understand him.

"maybe, he just loves her...maybe she's his soulmate." patrick said softly, staring with light blue eyes out the window, a frown showing on his round face.

"even if he does love her don't worry about it trick because no matter what you're his soulmate. really, i'm sure he'd tell you so, hell he probably has before." joe gave a little laugh.

"don't you usually marry your soulmate?" patrick asked, he ran a hand through his hair.

joe didn't have an anwser for this question. patrick grimaced and made to get up off the couch. joe instinctively wrapped a hand around the other boys wrist.

"he loves her joe!" patrick said maybe just a little too loudly and he glanced at the window before looking back at joe.

"he loves you." joe said back quietly but he released patrick's wrist.

"he's marrying her!" patrick hissed and he felt his heart thump and a lump in his throat and he refused to look out that fucking window.

joe was quiet again and patrick shook his head slightly. "i'm going to go lay down." patrick told him and the other boy nodded slightly and let patrick go. after patrick had left joe sighed and looked out the window at a short dark haired boy and a tall redheaded girl making out against the opposite bus.

patrick was curled up in the large bed in the back of the bus, eyes shut tight when he felt a weight dip on the bed. he turned and nearly flinched when he saw pete was there.

"hey, trick." pete said as he manuvered himself over patrick and onto the younger boys other side and watched him happily.

"hey." patrick replied and he tried his best not to show any trace of sadness or want in his voice.

"you okay?" pete asked and he pressed himself closer to patrick and patrick really just wanted to roll away.

"sure, why wouldn't i be?" he asked, pete shrugged.

"just thought i should check on you." the older boy said as he laid a tanned arm on patrick's waist. patrick didn't want to like how that felt but dammit he did.

"thanks for your concern but you can go back to her now." patrick said and his voice sounded bitter and he wished it didn't but he was kinda glad that it did. pete's face went blank before he recovered.

pete propped himself up on his elbows on the bed and kinda laughed off patrick's statement even though patrick was being dead serious. "i wanted to ask you about the wedding." pete started and the younger boy felt a stab in his chest.

"what about it?" patrick asked quietly.

"well, i want you to be my bestman." pete grinned and he leaned over and patted patrick on the shoulder. patrick was silent, he wanted to say no, he wanted to scream it in pete's stupid face until his throat was too fucked up to sing anymore.

"patrick?" pete asked and he's looking down at patrick with concern and patrick seems to come back to himself then.

"huh?" he mumbed because honestly he couldn't remember the conversation.

"will you be my bestman?" pete aksed and patrick sat quiet before he nodded quietly that yeah he'd do it but the thought of standing at that alter with pete by his side and ashlee staring at pete with wide happy eyes, the thought alone was killing him.

"okay! great!" pete grinned and he was sitting up now and he'd probably run off to tell ashlee that he offically had a bestman. patrick was right, pete had jumped off the bed and was moving towards the door. he turned back though, his hand on the handle.

"you sure you okay?" he asked and patrick didn't say anything.

pete, i really wish i could be more then your best kept secret." patrick whispered reciting pete's own words back to him and he watched pete's face and he knew that pete knew exactly what he was talking about.

"but then you'd have to be my biggest mistake." pete added and he sounded sad as he left the room and patrick behind.


T is for Tell

pete never listened to anything patrick said, okay, that's not true. he did listen when it was important, like when patrick reminded him to take his meds, or when patrick was adament about his changes to a song. the things pete chose not to hear, were the things he didn't want to. patrick liked to say that pete had selective hearing, pete laughed it off.

so it's really only pete's natural reaction that he sticks around when patrick tells him to leave. the older dark haired boy had just told patrick that he planned on marrying ashlee and that the younger girl was pregnant.

the two boys were sitting in the singers bedroom, pete on the bed and patrick in a chair next to the window, part of patrick thinks it should be the other way around but he shrugs it off. pete looked nervous as he told patrick, the kind of excited nervousness the bassist got right before they went on stage. patrick sat quietly and listended, willing his face to not betray any of the emotions that were swirling around inside him.

if patrick was being honest he'd say that he never thought pete and ashlee would last, so it's surprising to him to hear all these words spilling from pete's mouth, "engagement", "baby", "big fancy wedding." pete's rambling and usually patrick would stop him but he can't, because his brain is rambling too.

pete's sitting on the bed with his chin on his knees and his hands are moving quickly as he works to explain things to his best friend. he does stop talking though and patrick realizes this about fifteen seconds too late because now pete is staring at him.

"so patrick what do you think?" pete is asking and patrick tunes back in and stares at his friend, his mind scrambling to pull anything out, say anything before it get's too awkward.

"uh, i'm surprised." patrick says and he thinks that's alright, because at least it's the truth. pete nods and patrick thinks he's going to go on another tangent but he doesn't, he just keeps looking at patrick, brown eyes burning into the younger boy's soul.

"aren't you gonna congratulate me?" pete asks and he sounds just the tinniest bit upset, like he's trying too hard to make it sound like he's joking.

"oh, yeah, of course it's great pete." patrick says, even though it isn't and he forces a small smile, even though he doesn't want to. pete smiles but it's small too, like he knows this isn't how this conversation should be going. patrick wonders if he's the first one pete's told.

"trick, you okay?" he's asking and patrick's stomach falls a little. everyone and their mother happens to know that patrick knows pete like the back of his hand, better then pete knows himself, but they seem to forget that pete knows patrick almost as well.

no, patrick isn't okay, not really now that he thinks about it. if he really thinks about it, it feels like his heart is breaking. this isn't how it's supposed to be, pete isn't supposed to be with ashlee, he's not supposed to be anyone's husband or father...pete is supposed to play the bass and be with patrick.

patrick thinks he sounds immature but he doesn't really care, things weren't supposed to turn out this way. didn't pete always say that patrick was his soulmate? that he loved the singer? so why was he getting married to a girl? why wasn't he with patrick?

patrick had always figured that he and pete would eventually end up together, he thought it was just a matter of time, he always held out hope, he was just waiting, waiting for pete to be ready. but now all those hopes were dashed, everything patrick wanted was so suddenly torn away from him that it was hard to believe.

"you're not happy about it are you?" pete says and he sounds upset, like maybe he had expected this to happen, or maybe that he hadn't.





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