Saturday, February 7, 2009

krissy's stuff

He had always been one of ‘those guys’. And by that he was sure everyone meant ‘a smooth-talking, womanizing asshole’. Jon Walker couldn’t help but live up to that title, what with his cool demeanor and insanely good looks, he couldn’t help that every girl at Barrington High School wanted him. So what if he was one of ‘those guys’? At least he was having fun, and at least he was happy. That is, until she showed up.

The school year was barely one quarter of the way over when Barrington got a new transfer student. Word spread quickly in that school, and by the end of the day, Jon knew quite a lot about this ‘Cassie’ girl. If everything he heard was true or not, he had yet to know, but that wasn’t really all that important to him. All that mattered was if she was hot. He had been getting bored with the old rotation, and was mildly eager to see if she would be worth his time. Curious, not desperate to see her, Jon headed to the locker room after the final bell rang and he had gathered his things to prep for football practice; his usual gaggle of assumed friends eagerly chatting away a little ways behind him. Listening in on the banter, Jon heard more snippets about the new girl.

“Hey, Jon, have you talked to Cassie yet?” Jon felt a hand clap on his shoulder and he turned to see it was Ryan, one of his few real friends. Jon shrugged and shook his head.

“No, actually, I haven’t.”

“You should, man. She’s definitely something else.”

Jon cocked his head, asking what his friend meant. Ryan just smiled and shook his head.

“Find out for yourself, man.”

Ryan jogged off ahead of Jon, leaving the boy with a confused look on his face.
‘Something else?’ Jon shook his head and sighed. It wasn’t worth really worrying about.
The next day, Jon arrived at school early. He had been meaning to make up a test, but instead of heading to the library to retrieve said test, he was caught suddenly with the sight of a girl he hadn’t seen before. She was walking down the hall towards him, her long brown hair swinging in time with her steps and her eyes staring straight ahead. She was beautiful, to put it lightly, and Jon was positive that this was Cassie. He watched her walk for a moment, suddenly not able to think straight. He’d never felt so confused around a girl before…Clearing his throat as quietly as he could, he stepped into her path to grab her attention.

“Hey, you must be Cassie, am I right?”

The girl broke her straight-ahead stare and looked up at Jon’s face. She studied it for a moment before smiling a little.

“Yeah, and you must be Jon.”

The boy couldn’t hide the mix of shock and smug pride that she already knew of him.

“Yeah, I’m Jon. So-”

“Don’t waste your breath, Mr. Walker,” she said, still smiling. She stepped around him and continued walking. “I’ve heard plenty about you, and I’m not interested. Don’t bother.”

Jon’s jaw dropped as he watched her walk away down the hall, not even looking back. Never before had a girl shot him down before he could say three full sentences. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, really. Had it been any other girl, Jon probably would have just let it go, knowing that another girl was waiting in line. This time, though, with Cassie, Jon felt this twinge in his chest. Was this rejection? He sighed, still watching the hallway that she was no longer in. Without another thought, he continued to the library.

The first person to hear about the rejection was, of course, Ryan. His friend reacted with mild surprise, but altogether seemed not too concerned or sorry for his friend. When he didn’t get the moral support he wanted from Ryan, Jon turned to Brendon, one of his other better friends.

“And I didn’t even get two whole sentences out before she shot me down and walked away. She said that she’d heard plenty about me. What the fuck gives?” Jon whined, sitting at the back of his English class with Brendon. The dark haired boy only nodded, listening yet rather deep in thought.

“You know what, Jon? I think I saw my girlfriend talking to her yesterday. Maybe she said something.”

Jon cradled his head in his hands. Krissy would be the one to do that. Ever since middle school, they had shared this bond of hatred for each other. He wasn’t even sure what started the entire thing, but Jon took every opportunity to piss Krissy off, and Krissy, in turn, did everything in her power to fuck with Jon’s life. At this point, their senior year, the hatred had faded to something like friendly rivalry, since her boyfriend was best friends with him, but she still seemed slightly malicious about some of the things she did. It would not be below her to tell the new girl to stay far away from Jon.

“Yeah, that’s probably it. And Krissy’s persuasive, so there’s probably no way to convince Cassie otherwise.”

Brendon nodded and didn’t say anything more. Jon turned his attention back to the teacher and fumed the rest of the hour, trying to figure out a way to get back at Krissy.
While Jon couldn’t think of a decent way to get back at Krissy, he decided that he should really be spending his time trying to figure out how to get Cassie to talk to him. She was hot, definitely, and he would feel like he had let himself down if he didn’t get something out of her.
At football practice after school that day, he couldn’t seem to concentrate on the drills his coach kept making them run through. How was he supposed to even get close to her with Krissy’s warning already imbedded in her mind? Frustrated, Jon punted the ball and ended up hitting an unsuspecting freshman player in the head. He cringed, knowing that there was gonna be some sort of repercussion for that, but his preoccupied mind told him that that was of minor importance. Getting Cassie was priority number one.
The next few days, Jon did his best to start decent conversation with the girl whenever he saw her. Each time, she either gave brief, hurried responses or she ignored him completely. Finally, after three days of incessant badgering from Jon, the girl snapped at him during their study hall.

“What do you want, Jon?”

The boy put on his trademark smile, the one that got him out of any problem.

“I just want to talk to you, that’s all. Is that so bad? Or did Krissy tell you that you’d get pregnant just by talking to me?”

Cassie glared and didn’t say anything.

“She did say that, didn’t she?” Jon’s face fell, honestly shocked that the girl would say something like that. For the first time since meeting him, Cassie smiled.

“Yes, she did.” Cassie laughed a little and Jon couldn’t help but smile in spite of himself. Even her laugh was cute…

“Well, just so you know, it’s not true. I have yet to get anyone pregnant, thanks very much.” Jon said, crossing his arms over his chest in a faux pout. Cassie shook her head and kept smiling, amused.

“Yet?’” she said, giving him a questioning look. “You intend of doing so in the near future?”

Jon froze for a second, reminding himself that saying what was on your mind wasn’t always the best idea. Instead, he shook his head no and gave her a shocked look.

“No, not the near future. Maybe someday, but not for awhile, trust me.” Cassie’s expression softened a little.

“So you actually want to settle down someday?”

Again, Jon froze. What would it hurt if he told the truth? She seemed like the type that was interested in guys who had plans for the future; plans that included families. Usually, with any other girl, he would have laughed it off and said that he never thought that far in advance, but…

“Yeah. Someday. Probably not for awhile yet, but…you know.” He half-shrugged and Cassie nodded.

“Really? I always pictured you as the sort that’d never settle down.” An annoying buzzing sound came from the speaker on the wall, signaling the end of the class.

“Huh, over already? Time flies when you share good company,” Jon said, smiling again. Cassie just smirked.

“Yeah, I suppose so. I’ll talk to you later, Jon.” she said as she walked out of the class. Jon just sat for a moment more, repeating her words in his head.

‘I’ll talk to you later.’

He wasn’t sure if he should count that as progress, but he was going to anyway.
As it turns out, he was right in calling it progress. Instead of avoiding him during study hall, Cassie sat with him everyday, talking about whatever. Jon made a conscious effort to avoid talking about his reputation and anything that would remind her of that. He wanted to replace whatever Krissy had told her with…well…whatever it was he was telling her.
For the most part, it was the truth, actually. Much to his surprise, he didn’t dance around anything with her. She always got honesty from him, even if he regretted saying it as soon as it had left his mouth. In what seemed like a week, a few months had passed, and Jon believed that he had succeeded in replacing his ‘enemy’s’ lies with his truth.
While he was very proud of himself for accomplishing what he had set out to do, he felt different. He didn’t see getting some from her as a priority anymore. In fact, he was more concerned about her in general. He wasn’t sure what this change was, exactly, and he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. It felt too foreign to him, too uncomfortable and uncertain. He was tempted to talk to Adam, or even Brendon about it, but he figured they’d just laugh at him, and tell him that he’d become pussy-whipped. However, he didn’t have to go to either of them, because Brendon noticed the changes, and came forward first.

The younger boy ambushed him after school in the locker room.

“Hey, Jon?”

Jon looked up in surprise, having been rather deep in thought.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Are you alright?”

Jon paused for a moment to think. Was he really alright? Seriously?

“I don’t know, Bren.” Jon threw his football pads into his locker and closed it, giving up on changing. Wearily he trudged over to one of the benches against the wall and plopped down. In a second, Brendon was standing in front of him, arms across his thin chest.

“What do you mean?” he sounded a little worried. “I know you haven’t really been…well, yourself lately, if you get what I’m-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re saying. It’s just that, I haven’t felt like myself lately. I mean, I’ve been so focused on winning Cassie back from the hellish clutches of your girlfriend that Cassie’s really all I think about these days.”

Brendon didn’t say anything for a moment. Jon looked up at him and sighed. Finally, Brendon nodded his head lightly and clapped his friend on the shoulder.

“Ask Cassie to prom.”

Jon looked at him, confusion written all over his face, but the younger boy didn’t say anything else. Jon just nodded slowly, as if he understood, but he didn’t. He didn’t get any of it. But Brendon did know what he was talking about, usually, so he decided to trust him. And really, she would probably say yes, but what would that do for him? He wanted to ask the boy these questions, but Brendon had already wandered back to his locker.
With his friend’s suggestion in mind, Jon came to school the next day determined and ready to ask his (new) friend to the prom. He found her third hour, walking in the hall, as he usually did during his home ec class.

“Hey Cassie. Skipping class or what?” The girl glared at him playfully.

“Not really, Jon. I’m not as rebellious as you, you know.” Jon smirked and then took a step towards her, seizing the opportunity to ask her.

“Hey Cassie, do you want to go to prom with me?”

The girl stopped in her tracks, her mouth hanging open a bit. Jon was sure that she was just taken aback by how suddenly he had asked her. He had sort of sprung it on her.

“I’m sorry Jon,”

Jon thought for a moment that he had heard her wrong.

“But Alex already asked me, just a few days ago. I’m going with him.”

“Alex Suarez?” he said, not really believing what he was hearing. The girl just nodded, but was looking at him expectantly. Jon nodded and forced a smile.

“Oh, ok, cool. Have fun.”

“Thanks Jon. I’m sure you’ll find another girl to go with you,” she said, nudging him. Jon again forced a smile. “I’ll see you there, right?”

“Yeah, of course you will.” Cassie smiled and waved goodbye to him, almost skipping down the hall. Jon, however, just felt like beating his head against the wall. He needed to talk to Brendon again.
“What’s up Jon?” Brendon said when Jon had pulled him to the side before heading into science. Jon was annoyed with how blasé his friend sounded, but he shrugged it off and pulled him away from the door a little more, just that much farther from eavesdroppers.

“I did what you told me to do.” Brendon perked up a little.

“And what did she say?”

“She’s already going with Alex fucking Suarez.” Brendon raised his eyebrows in silent surprise.

“Oh really? And how mad are you?”

“I’m fucking pissed! I mean, when did she start talking to Alex? God…” Jon was livid now, but Brendon just continued to nod and stare, as per his usual thinking face.

“Are you mad, or are you jealous?” Jon thought a moment. Was he really mad? Sure. But at who? Alex? Maybe a little, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he was more mad at Cassie for saying yes. And he was jealous of Alex, more than anything.

“I guess…I’m jealous.”

“Of Alex?”

Jon nodded slowly, thinking over his responses. But it didn’t really matter, since she was going with Alex, and not him. He’d just have to find another date, or go alone. He knew Brendon would be with Krissy and Ryan would probably get around to asking Jenny, maybe. He suddenly felt very, very alone.
Three weeks later, prom night had arrived. Jon had finally decided to just go alone, knowing that there’d be enough girls there to distract him until he could talk to Cassie. The last three weeks had been unnaturally difficult for him. He had still talked to Cassie almost everyday, staunchly avoiding all talk of prom. He was worried that he’d say something he’d regret if she brought up Alex. Whenever he thought about it, he got so jealous, and angry, and sad that he wasn’t sure what was going on anymore.
When he parked in the high school parking lot, Jon had to compose himself. He had to prepare himself for the worst.

‘Just remember, if things go to hell, you can at least be…friends.’ He mentally tripped over the word. He didn’t want it to end that way.

The inside of the gym where the dance was being held was dark. Jon’s eyes adjusted quickly, scanning the room for Cassie. He saw her with Alex, dancing rather tamely to whatever hip-hop song the dj was trying to pass off as dance-able. He looked away quickly though, not wanting to get mad now. He instead sought out Brendon and Ryan, who he knew would be there already because of their dates. Sure enough, the boys were sitting on the bleachers, the girls nowhere in sight.

“Bathroom, I guess. Did you see Cassie?”

Jon only nodded and Brendon didn’t say anything more. Ryan looked up, a little confused, but didn’t say anything when he saw the look Brendon flashed him. Jon stalked off without another word, moving to the dance floor to dance with whoever. Whoever would remind him least of Cassie.
By the end of the night, Jon had danced with almost every girl who had come, but had yet to dance with the one girl he wanted to. Cassie had been almost attached to Alex, dancing closer together than Jon cared to watch. The DJ finally announced the last slow song, and Jon looked to Cassie. Instead of leaning into Alex as she had done numerous times that night, she pulled away from him, heading for the door. Alex stayed behind, almost uninterested in her departure. Hastily, Jon followed Cassie out to the front of the building.

‘Hey, Cassie?”

The girl whirled around, surprise in her eyes.

“H-hey, Jon. What’s up?” Her voice sounded tired. Or maybe sad.

“Not much…are you ok?” Jon took a step forward, reaching out to hold her arm. Cassie looked down, and then back up into his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” The girl nodded. Jon remained unconvinced. Cassie must have noticed the look in his eyes as she tried to explain.

“I’m just tired, Jon. I just need some sleep and I’ll be alright.”

“Did Alex say something to upset you?”

Cassie looked down. Jon was more angry than he had been when he found out she was going with someone else.

“What did he say?”

Cassie didn’t respond, but Jon noticed her shudder a little. She was crying.

“Cassie, what did Alex say to you?”

“He wanted me to go to a hotel with him.”

She had spit it out so fast that Jon had nearly missed it. Alex had wanted to take her back to a hotel? He couldn’t fathom Alex Suarez doing that, but he figured that anything was possible. Jon took a step forward and wrapped his arms around the girl. He had honestly never comforted a girl before, but somehow he knew what to do. Maybe that was because it was Cassie he was dealing with.

“Did he drive you here?” He felt her nod against his chest. He didn’t really want to leave, but he knew that Cassie should go home. That’s what would be best for her. “I’ll take you home, alright?” Cassie nodded again and Jon pulled back from her a little, reluctantly. He wasn’t sure if he was labeling this right, but he was fairly certain that this was what love felt like. He wanted to be with her so much so that he changed his ways to fit her norm, that all he could think about was her and her well-being. Taking her hand, he lead her back to his car and took the girl home.
The following Monday was normal. Alex said nothing of the incident, and neither did Cassie or Jon. Brendon and Ryan shared stories of their weekends with Jon and Jon just smiled and listened intently. Krissy and Jenny ranted about their respective boys and Cassie listened distractedly. When the final bell rang that day, Jon and Cassie walked out together, hand in hand.



Of course Jon was happy that Anna had given birth to a healthy baby, and he was so glad that James was excited about being a dad, but as soon as he laid eyes on Natalie, all he wanted to do was get on a plane. If he had timed things right, Cassie would be in Seattle, at one of those festivals they were always having out there, and he was sure that Megan had booked him a flight that would make minimal stops on it’s way to Washington. He grabbed his minimal luggage from where they had all left it, near the front desk, and ran outside to hail a taxi.

Once he had one, he directed the driver back to the airport. He was so antsy to get on a plane and see her again, that he practically jumped out of the taxi while it was still moving when it pulled up in front of the large building. Hastily, he paid the driver and jogged inside, looking for the airline Megan had said she’d reserved him a ticket on.

When he spotted the counter, he was disheartened by the line. However, he waited patiently for his turn, nervously sighing the entire time. He was sure that he annoyed half the people around him, but he didn’t care. All he wanted was to get on that plane, fly out to Seattle, and find Cassie.

His thoughts jumped back to the last time they had seen each other, when they’d said goodbye after the tour. He wasn’t one to break down in front of other people, but when he’d hugged her goodbye that afternoon, he was sure everyone there knew he had cried. He didn’t like replaying that scene in his head, just because it had been the hardest thing he’d done in a long, long while.

“Sir?”

Jon shook his head and looked up. He was next in line.

“Oh, sorry. Um, there should be a ticket on hold for Jonathan Walker?”

The lady behind the counter turned her attention to the computer screen in front of her and typed something in. After a moment, she looked up and smiled.

“Alright Mr. Walker, please have an enjoyable flight.” She handed him a ticket and he checked it for the gate. Gate 6. He tucked the ticket into his jacket pocket and jogged to his gate.

What seemed like hours later, Jon was seated on the plane bound for Seattle, Washington. He hated the wait the most, but it was soon over, and the relatively short flight was underway. For awhile, all he could think about was her. He wanted so badly just to be next to her again, to hear her voice in real time, instead of over a phone, to be able to look into her clear blue eyes again, instead of the dull, lackluster replacement of a picture. He drifted into sleep, and dreamt about the moment he’d be able to hold her again, and tell her that he loved her.

Jon was awoken by the gentle touch of a stewardess.

“Sir, we’ll be landing soon. Please make sure you have your seatbelt buckled and your tray in the upright position.” Jon nodded, still half asleep. He half-heartedly did as he was asked, and waited for the plane to come to a landing. He felt the landing gear drop down, then the plane hit the runway. He then remembered where he was, and instantly was awake, waiting for the captain’s announcement.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Seattle, Washington.”

The seatbelt light clicked off and the stewardesses moved to open the door. He had to work very hard to stop himself from just jumping out of the plane and running to wherever she was. However, the stewardesses finished before he could do any jumping, and he was the first out the door, again holding himself back from running to claim his luggage and then sprint to the festival.

Two long hours and a couple of phone calls to Megan later, Jon was settled into a hotel and on his way to the festival that was just a few minutes outside of the city. He was sure he was shaking, and he hoped the cab driver didn’t think he was on something. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face, and he had paid the driver in advanced, so he could literally jump out of a still moving car. Unfortunately, the driver didn’t find that funny, and made him wait until the car came to a complete stop outside the gates. Jon thanked the man and went in, flashing the pass he had gotten ages ago from Pete. It was funny how Jon had thought he’d never use the thing, but took it anyway.

He smiled at how fate worked, and meandered towards one of the stages. Lucky for him, he had picked the stage that Thursday’s Stray Survivors would be performing on shortly, and he sat down to enjoy the show without Cassie knowing he was present. He wanted it to be a surprise. However, he couldn’t help but feel his heart do a little back flip when he saw her take the stage, looking just as beautiful as she had what seemed like years ago. He wanted to run up to the stage, let he know he was here, but he didn’t say anything. He watched the show in silence, and waited for their set to be over.

“Jon?! Is that seriously you?!” Jon smiled as Cassie ran up to him, wrapping her arms around him. “I missed you, Jon. When did you get here?”

“Right before your set started. You did a good job, by the way.” He kissed the top of her head and she looked up at him, her eyes bright.

“Really?”

“Really, really. Say, what are you up to now?”

Cassie glanced over at her other bandmates, who proceeded to wave her on, telling her she was free for the rest of the day.

“Nothing. Why? What are you up to?”

“Same. Wanna go get something to eat?”

“Sure, sounds good. But I wanna take a shower first,” she said, pulling away from him. Jon nodded and took her hand in his.

“You can shower back at my room,” he said, gently pulling her back towards the gate.

“You got a hotel room? How long are you going to be out here?” Cassie asked, a little surprised, but still following him all the same.

“Until you’re done with the festival.”

Cassie smiled even wider and walked towards the gate with him.

Jon sat on the edge of one of the beds in his room, watching TV. Nothing caught his eye, so he just kept continually flicking through the channels, sort of hoping something new would come on. Without him noticing, Cassie jumped on the bed behind him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

“Whatcha up to?”

”Waiting for you to get ready to go,” he said, half smiling at her. She released him from her embrace and laid back on the bed, letting out a tired sigh.

“I’m so freaking sleepy. I almost don’t want to go anywhere,” she muttered, rubbing her eyes. Jon turned to look at his girlfriend. She hadn’t bothered with getting dressed yet, and still wore the complimentary fluffy white bathrobe. Her eyes were closed, like she was asleep, and her long brown hair was spread around her head, like a dark halo.

Jon couldn’t help but smile when he looked at her. She was so perfect to him. Carefully, he moved up the bed and placed a kiss on her forehead, her nose, then her lips. He almost hoped she could feel him smiling as he kissed her, because he could certainly feel her smiling.

“If we’re going out, I should get ready,” she mumbled after a moment, slowly pushing him away from her. Jon, however refused to budge, and returned to kissing her.

“You said you were tired. We can always get room service later.” He muttered between kisses. Cassie nodded, but then stopped.

“Later?”

Jon only responded by kissing down her neck, stopping to nip at her collarbones. Cassie sighed as Jon returned to her lips, carefully removing the bathrobe from her shoulders.

“I missed you so much, Cassie.” He said, resting his head on her shoulder. Cassie smiled and moved to unbutton Jon’s shirt. After a moment, he moved to finish taking off his shirt himself, all the while watching Cassie’s face.

She was still smiling sleepily, taking in the sight of him. He returned to kissing her while slowly removing the bathrobe from her body. He felt her shiver in the cold air, her body still a little damp from her shower, and he pressed his body against hers, trying to keep her warm. She moaned lightly, and then it was Jon’s turn to shiver, but not because of the temperature.

“Jon,” she whimpered, so quietly he almost didn’t hear it. “Hurry up…”

He didn’t need to be told twice, and in a matter of seconds his pants were on the floor, along with the bathrobe and his long forgotten shirt.

No longer satisfied with just kissing her, Jon ghosted down her neck, this time resting his head on her shoulder. He knew exactly what he was doing as he slowly repositioned himself between her legs. Jon brought his head up, only to gauge the reaction in her eyes as he gently, as gently as he could, pressed himself into her. He moved to kiss a tear away when he felt himself break past, taking her virginity.

“Are you ok?” he murmured, pausing to let her adjust. Cassie only nodded. He kissed her again, and began to make slow, steady thrusts into her.

“Jon, please…faster?” she whimpered again, this time between breathy sighs and gasps. Jon was a little surprised by how quickly she had taken to…everything, but willingly obliged her. He could feel himself getting close to finishing, and closer to losing control, but Cassie beat him to it. Jon looked up in time to see her head thrown back, taking deep breaths to try and calm her heart rate.

A sudden tightening in his groin warned him of what was coming, and he buried his face in the crook of her shoulder as he came. After a moment, everything was calm again. Still trying to catch his breath, Jon looked up at Cassie, his own eyes heavy with the desire to sleep. Cassie returned the gaze and smiled.

“That…was…amazing, baby….thanks….thank you.” She managed to stutter out between labored breaths. Jon only smiled and kissed her again, moving to pull the blankets over them.

“I love you, Cassie. More than anything.”

Cassie snuggled against him, taking in the sound of his breathing.

“I love you too, Jon.”

And without more words, they both fell asleep, the sounds of their heartbeats their lullabye.



And what if death is just a lie?

Jenny had always wondered what it was like to be dead, what it felt like to slowly slip away from reality, from the world that she had known to grow so cold, so dark, so twisted, so demented, and cruel.

Jenny still didn't know what it was like because she can't remember feeling anything, or feeling at all after she had passed out. Or, as andy had said "slipped into a coma" She hadn't felt any physical pain, but the emotional pain, oh yeah that was there.

Jenny had always wondered if people could still hear the things that where going on around them when they where in a coma, she had never thought she'd get to find out first hand though.

Jenny had always wondered what would happen to her best friend if she had ever died, she always wondered what the girl would say when her best friend toke her last breaths, when she had to wake up the next day and know that jenny wouldn't be around anymore. Jenny wondered why she couldn't cry when her best friend said her final words to her as she layed in the hospital bed made up for her, she could hear the beeping of andys machines beside her.

jenny wondered if her heart was still beating. And if it was, could andys machines pick up the jolts to her heart that jenny felt everytime cassie told her she loved her?

Jenny always wondered why she never said I love you enough to cassie.

Jenny wondered if cassie ever did have any orange juice that day.

Jenny always wondered if Krissy hated how emotional she would get sometimes, and how out of control she could get. Jenny always felt like there was something more she should have said to Krissy, always felt like she owed the girl something. Like Krissy had given her something but yet Jenny had given her nothing in return. And as jenny listened to Krissy cry beside cassie, as she heard the girl comfort their best friend she began to wish she would have thought of this a long time ago.

Jenny always wondered why Ryan loved her, she never wondered if he did love her or not which was a rare thing for her considering the way she had always doubted everyone, but jenny knew ryan loved her and she knew she loved him but she still didn't understand why.

Until that night anyways.

Ryan had explained everything to her. Explained why he fell for her, and all the things he loved about her, how he wanted to give her the world because the world she was given had always been so cruel to her, how he wanted to be the hero in her life, and save her from all and everything, and if jenny weren't already dying she would have said that not being able to tell ryan that he had saved her in so many ways was emotionally killing her.

Jenny will forever wonder why Ryan blames himself.

Jenny will always wonder if Ryan ever did buy her a ring.

And as andy said his farewells to her, and as she heard the boy walk out the door of the little hospital and tell everyone that she was gone, and as she heard ryan and cassies cries, sometime inbetween there the girl finally slipped away.

No pain was left to remain.

And in that moment Jenny didn't have to wonder anymore about what people meant when they said make the best of the time you have left.




God, just shut your fucking mouth!” Brendon screamed as he stormed towards his room. “You aren’t my fucking mother, Jonathan!”

Jon flinched, knowing Brendon had used that name on purpose. The older boy looked down at the shoebox in his hands, the vessel that held all of the drugs Brendon had owned. At this very moment, he did feel like the parent, confronting the teenage son about his fucking habit. He tossed the box down and chased after Brendon, wrenching open the door. What he saw nearly floored him.

Brendon was breathing heavy, holding a gun in his hands. Jon didn’t want to see where he was pointing it, he had already put two and two together. He knew where this would have gone.

“Brendon,” he said, almost a whisper. The younger boy looked up at him, a strange fire in his eyes. Jon took a step forward, but Brendon didn’t move. Jon took another step, and another. Finally, he was close enough to reach his hand out to the boy, to take the gun from him. Jon slipped the weapon from the boy and turned the safety on. Brendon continued to breath heavily, blankly watching everything he did. Jon tossed the gun to the side, making a mental note to make sure he took it out of the room before Brendon could get his hands on it again.

“Why, Brendon?” he muttered, moving forward again. This time, Brendon moved. He tried to get around Jon, maybe to get the gun, maybe just to run from the room, but Jon caught him, holding him in place.

“Answer me, Brendon! Why the hell do you have that shit?”

“Because I need it, Jon!” Brendon tore away from Jon, his stance screaming defiance. Both boys were breathing heavy now. Without warning, Brendon made a dash for the door again, and again Jon held him back. This time, he wrestled the younger boy onto the bed, hoping that getting him off his feet would force him to answer.

“Brendon, you don’t fucking need any of that. What the hell are you thinking?” he could feel tears coming to his eyes. During the last few weeks, things had begun to change between them. Brendon was becoming distant, irritable, angry…Why hadn’t Jon seen it sooner?

“You don’t understand, Jon! I need it now, you don’t even fucking understand!” Brendon tried to get up from the bed, but Jon jumped on top of him, sitting his hips and holding his hands about his head.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Brendon?”

“You would have fucking called the cops on me!”

“I haven’t called them yet.”

Brendon stopped his struggling for a moment, his wild eyes searching Jon’s. Jon was on the verge of tears now, watching his boyfriend search for words.

“Do you really not trust me that much, Brendon?” Jon whispered, tightening his grip on Brendon’s wrists just a little. Brendon shuddered but didn’t respond.“Brendon, listen to me. I love you, and-”

“If you love me, you’ll let me go, and let me do what I want.” Brendon spat. Jon closed his eyes, trying to compose himself.

“Brendon, you’re killing yourself. I don’t want to have to give you a wake before I can give you your next birthday party. Brendon, please, let me help you.” Jon dipped his head to Brendon’s chest, letting his tears fall. Jon could hear his boyfriend’s heart beating, wild and much too fast for it to be healthy. It killed him, having to hold him back like this. Jon kissed Brendon’s chest, right above his heart.

“Jon, let me go.”

The older boy couldn’t read the emotion in the other’s voice, but something told him that it didn’t matter. Whatever happened after this moment was what was meant to be. Slowly, Jon sat up and look down at Brendon, weary sadness in his eyes. Brendon’s eyes were devoid of the fire they held previously. Without another word, Jon got off of Brendon, and watched him as he left the room.

Jon wasn’t sure if he’d be back, and as much as he wanted to follow after him, to protect him, he knew he couldn’t. Jon went back to Brendon’s bed and sat down, cradling his head in his hands, sobbing. He’d lost him, he’d lost him, that was that, he was gone, and Jon wasn’t able to save him.

Jon didn’t know how long he’d been asleep, but when he awoke, the room was dark, and he was faintly aware of someone sitting at the foot of the bed.

“Brendon?”

“I’m sorry Jon.”

Jon sat up, scared about what exactly he was sorry for.

“Bren, what do-”

Jon was cut off by Brendon’s mouth on his, the younger boy’s body positioning itself in his lap.
“I was stupid,” Brendon whispered, leaning his forehead against Jon’s. “Jon, I’m going to need your help. I don’t think I can do this by myself.”

“You won’t be alone, Brendon.” Jon twisted his body, setting Brendon on the bed so they could face each other, laying on the bed. “Ever. I‘ll always be here. I always was.”

Brendon smiled sadly, Jon could see the tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize that earlier. I‘m sorry I‘ve done all of this to you, you don‘t deserve it. I don‘t deserve you. Oh God, Jon, I‘m sorry, so sorry-”

Jon smiled, and leaned in closer, gently kissing Brendon.

“Shh, you don’t need to apologize now, Brendon. It can wait.”

Brendon smiled, the first sincere smile Jon had seen from him in a long time.

Everything felt okay, and somehow Jon knew that everything would be okay, no matter what.



Krissy awoke with a start, her eyes carefully darting around the dim room. Of course it wasn’t fully dark. She glanced around, and guessed it had to be about noon, their new midnight. Time to break her promise, again. Sighing lightly, so she wouldn’t wake any of her friends up, especially Brendon, she carefully slipped from the sleeping room and made her way to the makeshift kitchen.

The dream, no, the nightmare she had been having was by far the worst she had had in a long while. She hadn’t been there, the night of the incident, but she was beginning to believe that her imagination was painting a worse picture than if Brendon, or anyone, had actually told her what had happened exactly.

Once in the kitchen, the tall girl knelt down to move the loose floorboard that held the hideout’s most hideous possessions; the collection of absinthe bottles. After…everything, most distilleries closed down, but since this shit was made out of weeds, literally anyone could make absinthe, as long as they had managed to recover some vodka or everclear to make it worth drinking.

Carefully, she pulled one of the clear bottles out of the hole, trying her best to not make any sound. No one really needed to know that she had broken her promise. Before, she had been a straightedge, the girl who had never even so much as sipped alcohol. Now, hell, she was well on her way to being fucking wino, seeing how much she drank, but she was almost positive no one knew what she did whenever she woke up from a nightmare.

Uncapping the bottle, she leaned against the counter, now sitting on the floor. Without a second thought, she took a long drink, the green liquid sharp and unpleasant. Whoever they had gotten this one from had fucked up the recipe. This was one of those bottles that if you finished alone, you’d die of kidney failure. She smirked to herself and figured that considering what was out there most nights, kidney failure didn’t seem like such a bad way to go. A sudden sigh alerted her to another’s presence, and she casually brought her gaze up to look at her visitor.

“Krissy? What the fuck are you…are you insane?”

It was Brendon, standing above her, watching her take long swigs from the glass bottle. Alright, so someone figured out her secret. Big fucking deal. She took another drink and shook her head.

“I suppose. Want some?” She dropped her gaze to the floor, not willing to see the look of disappointment in his eyes and held the bottle up to him. Not surprisingly, he took it from her, but she knew he wouldn’t drink any. He was just stopping her before she really did kill herself.

That’s what he had to do all too often, especially since there were no more prescription drugs for her to take for her…condition. She didn’t bring her gaze up from the floor as he took the cap from her or when he slipped the bottle back into it’s hiding place, or when he covered the hole with the board and sat down next to her. She felt his hand take hers, the action simple, and, just as always, comforting. Despite everything that had happened, and everything that was going on, some things, however small, didn’t change.

“Why?”

The girl shrugged, honestly not sure why she did what she did. She heard Brendon sigh again, and she glanced up long enough to see him tilt his head back against the counter, his expression telling her that he was at a loss for words. After what seemed like forever, he spoke again.

“Absinthe does not equal Zoloft, you know.”

“But it works nearly the same.” Brendon let go of her hand, and she wondered if she’d pissed him off. She wouldn’t blame him if he was mad.

“I really hate to think what you would be like if you had…like depression. At least this way you aren’t constantly trying to kill yourself, and I only have to watch you when you sneak away from bed at 1 in the afternoon.”

Krissy couldn’t miss the rage in his voice. Like she had said, she didn’t blame him. Post-traumatic stress syndrome was not something she had planned on developing, but still…

Krissy pulled her knees to her chest and looked over at her boyfriend, trying to gauge when she should say something. Now, he wasn’t looking at her, but rather his hands. Krissy let her eyes glance down at them, and then follow his arms up to his naked shoulders, where that scar was.

She shuddered and forced her gaze away from it, back to his face. He seemed calm, but she knew he was thinking.

About what though, she would never know. He never told her too much, and she always thought it was to protect her. From what, she didn’t know, and didn’t want to either. Krissy returned her gaze to the floor in front of her, waiting for him to speak. She had nothing to say, and she never had been one for speaking when nothing was on her mind. Finally, he broke the silence again.

“I love you.”

Krissy looked over at him, her own face void of expression. She had never heard him say that, at least not that directly, before. Their exchanged promises of forever had been something like ‘I love you’s, only indirect, as if they were meant to dance around the topic. Was it really that hard to love, nowadays?

When she didn’t respond, Brendon glanced over, almost nervous, it seemed.
“I love you too,” she whispered, meaning only for Brendon to hear those words. He would be the only one to receive those words now. The dark-haired boy smiled the sad, jaded smile that was the trademark of the times.

“Promise me that you won’t do that again.”

Again with the promises. But…Krissy was sure that this was one she could hold on to, and one that she could keep. If it was for Brendon, she would force herself to keep it.

“I promise,” she said, nodding. Brendon stood up and turned to offer a hand to his girlfriend.

“Come on, let’s go back to bed.”

“I’m not tired any more.”

“I’ll sing to you,” he offered, smirking slightly at her. Krissy looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise. He never sang anymore.

“You promise?”

“As long as you promise to get some sleep.”

Krissy took his hand and let him pull her up and into him, smiling at him for using one of his old moves on her again. Things were so different now, so fucked up for her and her friends, but Krissy felt this odd warmth in her chest, especially whenever she looked at Brendon, or whenever anyone displayed one of their old quirks or habits. She wasn’t used to the feeling, mostly because she hadn’t had need for it until everything happened. She was sure the feeling was called hope, and she would make and keep any promise necessary to keep it alive.




When Alex woke up, the room was still dark. He didn’t really care though. After losing Nate, nothing really mattered. He’d been thinking about going out at night, to let a luno get him. All he really wanted was to be with Nate again. Rolling onto his side, he sighed and let his mind go blank. He didn’t want to think about anything. Any thought could lead back to a memory of Nate, and in turn, that memory would bring the image of Nate strapped down to the bed, thrashing around, desperate to escape to the front of his mind. Suddenly the door swung open.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I-” Alex slowly sat up, his gaze gradually meeting those of his intruder. The short, strawberry-blonde girl looked scared. Alex smirked, since he didn’t blame her if she was. He hadn’t left the room for days, and while Krissy had come in once to tell him that two new people had joined them, he didn’t know how much his friends had told the newcomers.

“No, it’s ok.” Alex said, surprised that his voice still worked.

“It’s Alex, right?” The girl took a step forward into the room.

“Yeah.” he muttered, surprised that she hadn’t turned tail and ran yet.

“I’m Greta.”

“I figured.”

The girl laughed lightly and Alex felt something flutter in his chest. She had a beautiful voice.

“Do you ever leave this room?” Greta asked as she sat on the edge of the bed. It was too dark to be sure, but Alex was fairly certain that she was looking at him intently.

“I haven’t since…”

“Since what?” Obviously she hadn’t been told anything about Nate. When he didn’t speak, Greta gasped lightly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, if it’s…oh god, I’m sorry.”Alex just shook his head.

“No, I haven’t left this room since Nate died.”

Both were silent for a long while.

“What was he to you?” Greta whispered, almost afraid.

“I loved him with all of my being. He was me, and I was him. When he died, I lost the better half of myself .”

Again, no one said anything, and Alex wondered if he had scared her. What he had just said to her, to a near stranger, was something he’d said to no one else in the hideout. He always got the feeling that the others in the house didn’t think as highly of Alex and Nate’s love as they did of say Patrick and Cassie’s, or Ryan and Jenny’s. But their love…it was just the same, if not more than theirs.

“Alex…can I ask…what happened?” Greta’s voice was very quiet, and he almost didn’t hear what she had said.

“Nate went out to guard a shipment with the others, and…they were attacked. A luno bit him, and we tried to give him the anti-virus, but…it didn’t work…so we had…” Alex took a deep breath, trying to maintain his composure. “We had to kill him.”

Alex stopped, not willing to say more and sure that the girl didn’t want to hear any more either.
“I…know how you feel, Alex. I-I mean…I have William now, but…”

Alex sat up, almost interested in her story, in some sick sort of way.

“Before William,” she sighed, “I was in love with a boy named Bob. We were going to get married, buy a house together, raise a family. Have the perfect life with each other. Then…everything happened and…” Greta took a shaky breath and Alex leaned forward. He didn’t want her to open old wounds, but he longed to know he wasn’t alone in feeling this empty.

“Bob was bitten. I watched him change, I watched as the stranger who called himself William killed him when he tried to kill me after he turned, and I watched as William burned Bob‘s body.” Alex couldn’t miss the tears in her voice. He knew she was crying.

“How could you stay with him, then? After watching this guy kill Bob like that?” Alex felt rage building inside him. He hadn’t thought about his own anger at his friends for killing Nate, but now those emotions were finally surfacing. Greta shrugged.

“I didn’t want to. He dragged me with him, and I threatened to kill him for what he did to Bob. But William wouldn’t listen. He kept me with him, and kept me safe.”

“And now you’re…with him?” Alex said, utterly confused.

“As time wore on, I realized that those who are gone are gone. As much as I loved and still do love Bob, he will never be alive again. I need to keep living, if just for his sake. I’m living for me, and for Bob now. And besides. It’d become apparent that William needed me. He lost someone too. He doesn’t talk about her, but…All I know is that he needs me just as much as I need him.”

Alex let the younger girl’s words sink in. She had moved on, but in a way that allowed her to hold onto Bob.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” he suddenly asked. “Living every day knowing that he could still be here, maybe, if you had done something differently, or-”

“You can’t think about those things, Alex. If you do, you’re bound to live life regretting every step you take. Yes, it hurts for awhile, but the pain fades. There are so many people downstairs who are worried about you, Alex. They love you too. You just need to let them help you heal.”

Alex could feel tears welling up in his eyes. Greta was right. He knew it’d hurt. He was sure that it would hurt for a long time, but he could move on. He could be like Greta, like Ryan, like Cassie.

At length, Greta stood up and went back to the doorway.

“I’m going back downstairs. Are you coming, Alex?”

“…In a minute.”

From the dim light of the hall Alex could see Greta smile.

“Everyone will be glad to see you.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I know.”





Hey, Bren?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to London in three days.”

Brendon never imagined that he would ever be so stunned by anything a girl would say as when his girlfriend, in the wake of what might have been the best sex in the history of forever, told him she was leaving for a foreign country in a few days.

“What?” he sat up, looking down at her. She shrugged and curled under the covers, not meeting his gaze.

“I got that internship with Christian Siriano. The three month one.”

“Lacy, when did you find out?”

The blond girl didn’t answer, and Brendon sighed heavily.

“When did you find out?”

Lacy looked up, her hazel eyes meeting Brendon’s dark brown ones.

“I found out last month.”

Brendon sighed again and turned away from the girl, moving to get up from the bed. Lacy moved to pull him back, apologies spilling from her lips.

“Brendon, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, it’s just that there never seemed to be the right time, and then everything else kept coming up with you and your dad and-”

Brendon cut her off with another kiss and pushed her back down on the bed.

“I don’t care.”

But he did. Oh, how he did. Despite the fact that he had known at the back of his mind that she had probably gotten that internship, he had been telling himself that she wouldn’t go, that she’d turn it down. He was the jealous type, and hated the thought of his girlfriend leaving the country and spending time with other guys. He would never admit it, but he was afraid of her leaving him.
…
“So she finally told you, huh?”

Brendon glanced up from the book he was reading, trying not to throw it at Claudia. The girl had randomly appeared at his house a little after lunch, and while it normally wouldn’t have bothered him since they were old friends, the mood he was in wasn’t making him the most friendly person to be around.

“What does that mean?” he muttered, setting the book down. The dark-haired girl smirked.

“She told me the day she found out, and made me promise not to say anything to you.” Claudia sauntered over to where Brendon was sitting and sank down, ultimately sitting a little too close to him. Brendon didn’t move though, but stared straight ahead, now a little more irked than he had been before.

“But hey,” Claudia cooed, leaning up and placing a gently kiss on Brendon’s jaw. “You’ve still got me.” The girl leaned up more, turning the older boy’s head so she could really kiss him, letting her hands wander down his shoulders. Suddenly, Brendon pushed her away, standing up and shaking his head. Claudia just smirked again, and put on a false innocent voice.

“What’s wrong, Bren?”

“Just because she’s going to London doesn’t mean we broke up.” Without another word, Brendon stalked away to a different part of the house, leaving Claudia alone. Frowning, she stood up and gathered her purse, heading to the door.

“We’ll see how well Lacy holds up on that one, sweetheart.”
…
“And you’re surprised that he blew you off?”

Claudia didn’t break her pout when questioned by William. William was right, of course. He always was, but that didn’t help her in feeling better.

“No, I guess I’m not. But still, you’d think he’d be willing to live it up a little now that his girlfriend’s out of the country.”

William only sighed an turned back to his magazine about whatever. Claudia hated that about him. He brushed things off too easily. Nothing seemed to annoy him.

“Bill…” she whined, moving to sit next to him. “What should I do?”

“Nothing, Claude. Let something come to you. This town is well overdue for some entertainment. I’m sure something is bound to turn up.”

That really wasn’t what Claudia wanted to hear, but in all honesty, she knew William was right. He was always right.
…
William wasn’t sure why Claudia had invited him over, seeing as they never really got along that well, even when they were younger. Shrugging it off, William returned his attention to the passing scenery, and the fact that instead of an empty, lifeless house next to his, there was a moving van outside and various men moving furniture in.
His interest piqued, William sauntered over to the house as soon as the driver cut the engine. The movers didn’t acknowledge him when he peeked his head in the door, or when he took a few steps inside, looking for the new owners. William wandered around a little, exploring the new neighbor’s possessions.

“Can I help you?”

William casually looked over his shoulder to see who was addressing him. It was a boy, couldn’t have been much older than himself, with dark brown hair and equally dark brown eyes. He was, in all rights, very attractive, but not William’s type. The lithe boy turned his body and stuck his hand out to the other boy.

“Just dropped in to say hello to my new neighbor. I’m William Beckett, and you are…?”

The new boy took William’s hand.

“It’s Jon. Jon Walker.”




Brendon didn’t remember how he’d gotten back to this place, where he’d been bitten, but it didn’t seem to matter. All that mattered was that Krissy was with him, and a hulking luno was bearing down on them. He shoved his girlfriend behind some debris from a car and turned to face the luno.

He didn’t know where his gun went, but it didn’t matter. He just needed to protect Krissy. Just as the luno was about to jump on him, Krissy was between the luno and him, just standing there. Brendon yelled for her to move, to run, but she only turned to face the luno. When Brendon tried to move, it only seemed like the luno moved faster towards her, and he could only watch as the luno pounced on her, ripping open her chest. As soon as she fell, Brendon was at her side, crying.

Somehow, the luno had vanished. As he held her in his arms, asking whatever god that happened to be listening to bring her back to him, he felt this odd urge rise up in him. He looked down at her wound, open and grotesquely bleeding. Her pale skin was ripped open, her heart and lungs unmoving, yet still warm, the stark white bones of her sternum glowing eerily in the moonlight.

He felt the urge to feed on her.

Brendon shot up, eyes darting nervously around the room, his breathing heavy. Everyone was still asleep, as far as he could tell. He glanced down and finally noticed that Krissy wasn’t next to him. Sighing nervously, considering the dream he had just had, he threw the covers back and padded out of the bunk room.

The house was cold, and he shivered against the air, wishing that he had had enough sense to put a shirt on, since just shorts weren’t really doing the trick. Casually sniffing the air, Brendon found her scent and made his way to the shower. He was so on edge from the dream that he found it hard to concentrate. He had always placed some credibility in dreams, that they happened for a reason, but he didn’t want to believe anything in this dream. No, it hadn’t been a dream. It had been a nightmare.

As he neared the door to the bathroom, he could hear the shower running, and Krissy humming some tune that no one knew the name of. He thought of waiting outside for her, but the nightmare had been so vivid, so grotesque that he had no desire to wait and see her. He knew his logic would sound ridiculous later, but he needed to know she was alive, and in one piece. He needed to see her. As quietly as he could, he slipped into the small room, hoping that she heard him open and close the door, and no one else.

“Brendon?” Her voice sounded small, scared.

“Yeah, hold on a second.”

Krissy didn’t respond, but waited for him to make his move. After a few moments, she heard the curtain slide back and felt Brendon step in to join her. She turned to face him, and instantly saw the relief on his face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, reaching behind her to pick up the washcloth. He just shrugged as she gently worked it over him, all the while staring at his face. She sighed impatiently and frowned a little. “Really, you should tell me what’s wrong before I get mad.”

Brendon smiled a little and shook his head.

“I had a…dream.”

“Oh, a dream huh? One that forced to you come find me at 5 in the evening?”

Brendon let out another sigh and took the washcloth from the girl, returning the favor.

“It was…a bad dream.”

Krissy only looked up at him, her eyes inquisitive. He didn’t want to tell her the details, he didn’t want her to know. He didn’t want her knowing that he was capable of those thoughts, regardless of whether they were subconscious or not.

“About what?”

Brendon shook his head again, not willing to impart the facts upon her. After a second, she put her hands on his chest, as if she was preparing to push him away.

“Brendon,” she muttered, leaning into him. “Tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help if I don’t know.”
The boy frowned, but leaned forward to steal a kiss from his girlfriend before wrapping his arms around her.

“I dreamt that we were back at the place where I’d gotten bit. It was just you and me there, and this luno. I didn’t have a gun, but I went to go fight it. But…” Brendon trailed off, the memory of the dream almost becoming too much for him.

“But what?” Krissy leaned into him again, and he just stood still.

“But you …stood between us, and…the luno it…it killed you.”

Krissy laughed nervously, but then looked up at him.

“That’s it? That’s not really that bad, is it?”

“That’s not all of it, though. After it killed you, I was suddenly next to you, and…I-I…”

“And you what?” Krissy sounded nervous, or maybe scared. She was nearly the same as Brendon when it came to dreams. To her, everything meant something, either literally or figuratively. She would be even more scared when he finished his sentence.

“I wanted to feed on you.”

Krissy didn’t say anything for a long while. Brendon assumed that she was just mulling it over, not trying to figure how to get away from him fastest.

“Do you think that…the luno bit of you could ever…do that to you?”

Brendon knew what she was asking. She was scared that what luno traits he did possess were just a façade for the rest of the traits that lay dormant, waiting to turn him.

“I don’t know, Krissy. Fuck, anything could happen, you know that.”

Krissy let her head rest against his chest, not saying anything for awhile. He knew she was listening to his heartbeat; it was the only thing that really worked to calm her down these days.

“I don’t want to think about that anymore. You won’t change. You’ll stay you, you’ll stay with us. There won’t be any problems.”

Krissy turned around and turned off the water, and then hastily went about drying herself, careful not to look at Brendon again. He knew that she had made up her mind about not thinking about it, but he also knew that in the end, it needed to be discussed. Up until that point, it had never occurred to him that even after all this time, something could go wrong, and he could change.

The group needed to be ready to deal with that, and that included Krissy. Brendon usually let her be immature about some things, allowing her old personality show through her new one just a little bit every now and then, but this was one topic that he couldn’t allow her to dance around. She needed to be prepared. Brendon stepped out of the shower and walked up behind Krissy, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

“I’m sorry I scared you.”

“It’s ok.” her voice was shaky. Brendon nuzzled her neck and sighed lightly.

“No, it’s not. But…you wanted to know, so I told you. And it was the truth.”

Krissy nodded and leaned her head back, resting it against his shoulder.

“I understand. I got what I asked for. It’s just,” she pulled away from him and turned around, looking him straight in the eye. “You promised me forever, like the others and…I don’t know, Brendon. I feel like that dream was a bad sign, that our forever isn’t going to really be forever. I feel like no matter what we do, or how careful we are, we’re going to end up like the rest of them.”

“I know what I promised, Krissy, and I promise now that I will never let anything get in the way of the first promise I made to you. I don’t care what I have to do, but I swear that we’ll always have forever.”

“Don’t make promises that you can’t keep, sweetheart.”

“Me? Make promises I can’t keep? Never.”

Krissy smiled and Brendon felt some of his fears slip away. At least for a little while, the dream didn’t matter, and his promises didn’t matter either.

All that mattered, right at that moment, was her, and her smile.



I told you it would be worth it,” Cassie gloated to her friend who was trying to hide her smile with a scowl in vain.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Traveling into the big scary city at midnight to see a one-hour show that was way over-priced was soooo worth it.”

“But Krissy, it was Thursday’s Stray Survivors! How can anything NOT be worth it when they’re involved?!” Cassie was nearly shrieking but Krissy only laughed.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. It was worth it. Thank you for dragging me out here.”

Cassie smiled and started back towards the bus station.

“Come on, if we don’t hurry, we’re gonna miss the last bus and we’ll have to wait until 6 in the morning to get back.”

Shuddering at the thought, Krissy bounded after her friend.
…
A few blocks away, a very sober Jon Walker was helping a very tipsy Brendon Urie walk down the street.

“Dude, I told you not to go crazy tonight. You can’t be doing shit like this. You’re gonna develop a fucking habit at this rate, man.”

Brendon just laughed, or something, and kept stumbling forward. This was not Jon’s idea of a fun night, but since Ryan and Spencer had run off to some show on the other side of town, he had been left to babysit their lead singer. Jon made a mental note to bitch to Ryan about this when he saw him next.

“Jon, seriously…I think I need…to sit down.” Brendon lurched forward a step and laughed again, but Jon kept his grip on him and directed the younger boy to a stoop.

“Ok, Brendon, just stay right here, I’m gonna go get you something else to drink…maybe we can try and get you sober before three in the morning.”

Jon jogged away from the boy, trying to remember where he’d seen that delicatessen. As soon as the older boy was out of sight, Brendon stood up, all signs of his inebriation gone. Without a second glance, he took off down the street, into the city, and away from Jon.
…
“Hurry, we’re not gonna make it if we don’t get there in the next two minutes!” Cassie called behind her. The crowds that had begun to intensify around the bus station were making it extremely difficult for the taller girl to keep up with her friend, and since Cassie was significantly shorter than Krissy, she couldn’t always find her when a group of people passed between them.

“Cassie! Where did you go?” Krissy shouted, hoping the other girl would hear her above the din of the crowds. There was no reply, at least not one that she could hear. Looking around, she started to grow a little worried. She hated being by herself in strange places, especially when it was dark out, and she couldn’t easily map the new territory out in her head.

“Cassie? Cassie?”

Still no response.

Sighing with frustration and partially fear, Krissy went back to the entrance of the bus station. If anything, she could call her friend from out there and find where she was. Fighting her way back through the crowd, she was finally back outside, and looking up her friend’s number on her cell. After a few rings, Krissy heard a familiar noise; Cassie’s ringtone. She looked around, hoping to see her, but after a moment, she realized that the sound was coming from her own purse. Cassie had given her phone to Krissy to hold onto since she hadn’t brought her own purse along.

“Shit,” the tall girl muttered, slapping her phone shut, ceasing the ringing. “What the fuck am I going to do now?”
…
Brendon hated that everyone thought that he was incapable of taking care of himself. He was self-sufficient, but no one ever allowed him the opportunity to prove that, so he decided that he had to make his own opportunity to do so. Faking drunk then running off into the city, only to return unharmed to his beloved bandmates in the morning? Genius. The only problem was that Brendon was pretty sure that he didn’t have his cell phone on him, or any money, for that matter, but that was irrelevant. He didn’t need those things to survive one night in the city.

As he ran down the street, hoping to come across a high street sometime soon, he tried to think of what he could do for the next five hours.

“First off,” he muttered to himself, “I need to find someone who’s as bored as I am.”
…
Cassie couldn’t remember when she lost track of Krissy, but it didn’t really matter when it happened, just that it happened at all. Frantically, she tried to fight her way back through the crowd, but her stature really didn’t help her. When she finally broke through and found herself outside the station, the crowd had managed to fit itself inside, and the street was fairly empty.

Making rounds in both directions, Cassie tried to find her friend, hoping she hadn’t done something stupid, like wander off alone. She knew there were creepers out there, and not the kind they joked about, but the real ones. No, Krissy was smarter than that. Sighing with desperation, Cassie searched her pockets and found a twenty dollar bill and some gum. She wanted to do a facepalm, remembering that she had given her phone to Krissy to hold onto.

“Shit, shit, shit… I’m never going to find her.”

“You lost someone too?”

Cassie turned to see who’d spoken to her.

She nearly had a heart attack.

Standing next to her, bending over, his hands on his knees in the typical ‘I’m trying to catch my breath’ pose, was Jon Walker. At least, she was pretty sure it was Jon. A rather sweaty, panting Jon Walker at that.

“Um, yeah. I seem to have lost track of my best friend.”

Jon laughed and stood up, running a hand through his hair.

“You and me both. One minute he was sitting on that goddamn stoop, and I come back two seconds later and he’s gone.”

Cassie was almost too stunned to say anything more, but she somehow managed to nod knowingly and force words out of her mouth.

“I’m Cassie.”

“I’m Jon. It’s nice to meet you,” he said, turning to shake her hand. “Hey, Cassie, by any chance do you…ah, know your way around the city?”

“Yeah, more or less.” Even in the dim light cast by the streetlight, Cassie could see the man’s face light up. She felt her heart skip a beat.

“Really? Then, do you think maybe you could help me out? I mean, we can look for your friend too, but I don’t know my way around the city at all, and…” Jon finished his sentence with vague gestures and Cassie suppressed a giggle.

“Sure, yeah, I’ll help as much as I can. But…I really need to find Krissy. She doesn’t know the city at all. And she doesn’t like being alone in strange places, so…”

Jon nodded solemnly.

“Right, I totally understand. Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll find them.” Jon moved to the curb and hailed a taxi. As one pulled up, he turned to Cassie and smirked. “I almost feel bad for this guy. He’s in for one helluva night.”

‘So am I,’ thought Cassie as she got into the Taxi with Jon, beginning their search for their friends. ‘So am I.’
…
Krissy really had no idea where she was. For some reason, she had thought that going back to the club where the show had been would be a good idea, but of course, she couldn’t find her way back to it. So now, she was alone on a rather dimly lit side street in a city that she had no clue how to traverse. At that very moment, she felt like sitting down on the curb and bawling until someone took pity on her and took her home.

However, she figured that crying was probably the worst idea at the moment, and contained herself until she found a high street. There were people everywhere, but Krissy, never having been one for random conversation, couldn’t bring herself to approach any of them. Finally she plopped down in a bench that was against one of the buildings and cradled her head in her hands. She managed not to cry, but she was still pretty scared. Suddenly, she felt the bench shift a little, signaling the arrival of another occupant. Krissy tried to scoot herself to the farthest side of the bench, hoping that the other person wouldn’t notice. She didn’t need to be offending anyone and getting killed.

“Hey, are you ok?”

Krissy didn’t look up, but she felt like she’d heard that voice before. It sounded so oddly familiar… She glanced up at the speaker and she knew her jaw dropped.

Brendon fucking Urie was sitting next to her. On the same bench as her. Talking to her. Giving a shit…about her.

“Are you even alive?” he asked, scooting a little closer to her. Krissy looked up and nodded, trying her best not to just throw herself at him and attach herself to him until she found Cassie again.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m just a little, uh…distracted, I guess.”

“By what?”

Krissy laughed. He was pretty much like she had always imagined him; curious, energetic…fucking gorgeous.

“Um, well…I was distracted by the fact that I’m completely lost.”

“Really? Funny you should say that, because as it just so happens, I’m lost too.”

Krissy’s eyes widened a little and Brendon noticed, smiling wryly.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just that I left my cell phone with my friend, and I don’t have any money… Oh shit, I probably sound like a creeper now, asking for money or something.”

Krissy giggled and shook her head.

“No, it’s ok. I have my friend’s cell, so I can’t get ahold of her, and I have no idea where anything is in this city…”

“We should stick together.” Brendon blurted out, leaning a little closer to her. Krissy’s jaw dropped again, but she composed herself fast enough so hopefully Brendon wouldn’t notice.

“Um, yeah, sure. I mean…you really aren’t a creeper, though…are you?”

“No, no, I’m Brendon. Not a creeper.”

Krissy felt herself start to shake a little. She knew who he was, but still it was rather exhilarating to have him introduce himself.

“It’s nice to meet you, Brendon Not a Creeper. I’m Krissy.”

Brendon laughed and moved away from her, standing up and offering his hand to her. She took it and he pulled her up, beginning to lead her down the street.

“The pleasure’s mine, Krissy. Now, let’s see if we can’t figure out where we are.”

Krissy nodded and let herself be lead around by the boy. She honestly didn’t care that she was lost anymore. She was with Brendon motherfucking Urie. What a story she’d have when this night was over.


Cassie watched Jon as he jogged back from the delicatessen he’d made the cabbie stop at. Apparently this was the last place he’d seen his friend, his face screaming frustration and disappointment.
When he slid back into the car, he sighed.

“No sign of him. Where the hell could have he gone…?”

“Uh, Jon, can I ask who your friend is?”

Jon glanced at her, like he was trying to decide if telling her would cause any adverse effects. After a moment he shrugged slightly.

“His name’s Brendon. He’s my…uh…bandmate.”

Cassie nodded and tried not to smirk.

“Bandmate, huh? What’s your band called?” She wanted him to tell her, just so she wouldn’t seem like such a creeper for having known that he was in fact Jon Walker, bassist for Panic at the Disco, the entire time.

“Uh…It’s uh-”

“Hey, where d’ya wanna go?”

Jon looked relieved that he didn’t have to answer the question, and Cassie pouted. She glanced at Jon, who was looking at her expectantly. She sighed and leaned forward to speak with the cabbie.

“Just drive towards 34th and Neuman,” she said, remembering why she was in this cab with the man of her dreams. Krissy was still lost, and so was Brendon. She flopped back in the seat, resigned to looking out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of her friend. Whenever she glanced at Jon, he was doing the same. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be what she thought it was going to be.
…
“I think we’re more lost than before, Brendon. This is a fucking park.” Krissy giggled as the boy dragged her along. For some reason, she wasn’t scared anymore. It didn’t matter that the park was almost pitch black and she was with a boy she barely knew.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I know exactly where we are. We’re the same lost as we were before.” Brendon was laughing too, which eased Krissy even further. After a couple more steps, Brendon stopped and let go of the girl’s hand, turning to face her. His face was oddly somber, and Krissy felt her heart drop into her stomach. A face like that was never a good sign.

“Krissy, I…I have to admit to something.”

“Please don’t tell me you actually really are a creeper,” she muttered. Brendon laughed and shook his head.

“No, I’m not a creeper, but…I’m not really trying to be found. And…I guess I sort of…took you hostage to keep me company?”

Krissy cocked her head, confused.

“I mean…ok. Start over. I was with my friend, Jon, and then I ditched him, and…I dunno. I never had any intention of being found before 6 in the morning.” The boy shrugged as if that was the punctuation to his sentence. Krissy just stood still, trying to decide if she was irked at Brendon or if she was sort of okay with him choosing her to be his companion for the night.

When it came right down to it, this was a once in a lifetime thing, the sort of event that girls like her only dream or write fanfiction about.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind being lost with you.”

“So you’ll stick with me?”

Krissy nodded, but she wasn’t sure if he saw it. However, she did see the smile that broke out across his face as he took her hand again, leading her to another uncharted block of city.
…
The cabbie had gotten sick of them after about an hour, and had kicked them out of his car. Jon and Cassie came to the conclusion that it might be better to search for the two on foot for awhile, since that way they could ask people if they’d seen a dark haired boy about yea-high with an obnoxious smile who was probably still drunk or a tall girl with light brown, curly hair, glasses, and a confused and/or terrified look on her face. For all the people they asked, not one person had seen their friends.

“I don’t think we’re ever going to find them,” Jon said as he plopped down on a bench conveniently placed outside a building. “I mean, we can’t get in contact with either of them, and this city is fucking huge.”

Cassie milled about in front of Jon, trying to think of where to look next. It was nearly impossible to think of a single possibility, and Cassie was getting frustrated. Suddenly, she heard a faint ringing noise and turned to see Jon pulling a phone out of his pocket and looking at the caller id.
“Do you know this number?” he asked, showing the phone to the younger girl. Cassie glanced at it, not immediately recognizing the number.

“No…but it has my and Krissy’s area code…”

Jon shrugged and flipped it open.

“Hello?”

In a moment, his face turned from confused to shock.

“Brendon?! Where the fuck are you? I am so going to fucking kill you when I… What? Krissy? What the fuck? Does your Krissy know a Cassie?”

By now Cassie had sat down next to Jon to try and hear the entire conversation. Jon looked at her, excited nervousness in his eyes. If he was with the right Krissy, they’d kill two birds with one stone in finding them.

“She does? That’s seriously really weird…anyway, Brendon don’t you dare move from that spot. Tell me where you are. Outside a park? What, that’s not- Brendon? Brendon?” Jon snapped the phone shut and shook his head, obviously furious. “The fucker hung up on me.”

“But he said he had a Krissy with him? Do you thing maybe it’s my Krissy?”

“I sort of hope so, because then neither of them will be alone, but that’d be some weird twist of fate, you know? But we need to find a park. He said they were outside a park.”

Cassie sighed and stood up.

“There are hundreds of parks in this city. How the hell are we supposed to find them?”

“I have no idea, Cassie. It’s almost like they don’t want to be found.”
…
“Way to be Mr. Vague, Brendon.” Krissy said as they walked down the street, away from the park.

“I wanted to give him somewhere to look. I mean, it wouldn’t be fair if he had to guess everything.”

Krissy nodded and looked up at the sky. She couldn’t see any stars. Sighing and turning her attention back to the deserted sidewalk and the boy walking next to her, she tried to think of something not-lame to say. She desperately wanted to ask him for his number before she forgot about it, but she figured that would seem creepy. Like, really creepy. Besides, she was only going to be with him for one night, and after that she would be just another face in the sea of people that surrounded him.

“Are you really ok with this? I mean, the whole ‘let’s not get found’ thing?” Krissy looked up at Brendon and sighed lightly.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I mean, at least I’m not wandering around the city alone. That would be bad. This, well…this isn’t so bad.” A sudden vibration from her pocket signaled a call, and Krissy fished her phone out, glancing at the caller id, then to Brendon. “It’s Jon. Should I answer it?”

Brendon took the phone and considered it a moment.

“No. Let it go.” he said, smirking as he handed it back to her. “We’ll give him another hint later. For now…let’s…uh…”

“Find somewhere else to hide?” Krissy asked, amused by Brendon’s desire to turn the night into a scavenger hunt for Jon and quite possibly Cassie.

“Yes, another hiding place. Onward!” he cried, taking Krissy by the hand again.
…
“I wonder if Krissy realizes that it’s four in the morning.” Cassie said as she trudged behind Jon, who was trying to find a person who looked friendly enough to tell them where they could find all of the parks in the city. They had been looking for nearly two hours, but they hadn’t found anyone yet. “I’m all for leaving both of them to fend for themselves and going home.” she muttered as Jon fished into his pocket, removing a ringing cell phone.

“Brendon? Are you about ready to tell me and Cassie where you and Krissy are? God, about fucking time. A castle? Dude…what? Brendon, don’t you fucking dare hang up on me or so help me god I’ll send Ryan after you when-” Jon sighed and snapped the phone shut again.

“He hung up on you, didn’t he?”

Jon nodded and Cassie laughed. Despite himself, Jon cracked a smile and stopped short to walk next to Cassie.

“He said that they’re going to wait at a castle.”

Cassie looked relieved at his words.

“There’s a model castle in Burnswick Park. I’ll be they’re there.”

“How far away is that?”

Cassie shrugged and looked up at the nearest street sign.

“It’s about a forty-five minute walk from here, but a cab’s faster.”

“I don’t feel like dealing with another cabbie tonight. Do you mind of we walk?”

Did she mind if they walked? Fuck no. Cassie shook her head and started in the direction of the park. The pair walked in silence for a few minutes before Jon spoke up.

“Hey, Cassie? Thanks for…everything. I mean…if I hadn’t found you, I never would have been able to find my way around, and if you hadn’t lost your friend, Bren never would have been able to call and give me shitty answers to my questions… So…thanks. A lot. I mean it.”

Cassie felt like floating. Never in a million years had she ever seen herself getting thanked by Jon Walker, for anything. She also never expected the same Jon Walker to slip his hand to hers, almost scared to see if she'd let him hold her hand. She intertwined their fingers together and continued walking.

“It’s not a problem. I mean, it would have been awful of me to just let you wander by yourself, looking for Brendon. I couldn’t do that to you.”

Jon didn’t say anything and Cassie assumed that that was going to be the extent of their conversation.

“So, Cassie. To avoid the awkward silence, how about you tell me about yourself?”

She had assumed wrong, but she didn’t really mind.

“Fine by me, but you’ve got to answer one question for me before I start.”
…
“Are they coming?”

“I would assume they’re on their way.”

Krissy was laying flat on her back at the top of a castle in one of the parks they had found. Brendon was some distance away from her, she couldn’t really tell. He had just called Jon on her phone to tell him where they were. To some degree, she wished that the night wouldn’t end. Over the course of about three hours, she’d become something like friends with a boy previously had considered untouchable. He was human to her now, and she knew that after tonight, she’d never listen to another Panic at the Disco album the same way.

“Hey, Krissy?”

“Hm?”

“You knew who I was the entire time, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. I did.”

“Thanks for treating me like someone I’m not.”

“No problem.”

She heard him shift on the cold stones of the castle, their castle. A moment later she felt his arm pressed against hers. She tried not to shiver, but she couldn’t help it. It wasn’t that it was cold, just that…
Yeah. He was touching her.

“You know what?”

“What?”

Brendon turned his head to look at her, and Krissy followed suit.

“Us laying here like this is gonna look really awkward when they find us.”

“Because we look like dead bodies?”

“Pretty much.”

Krissy laughed and turned to her side, facing away from Brendon to slip her cell phone back into her purse. Before she could turn back, though, Brendon had scooted up behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“This’ll make them wonder.” he whispered into her ear. Krissy wasn’t sure if she was allowed to enjoy this, or if was just Brendon’s idea of a joke. Either way, she figured she should enjoy it while it lasted, and relaxed, letting him get just a little closer to her. Before she drifted off into sleep, she felt him press his lips against her hair.

She could die happy now, please and thank you.
…
“Well well well, what have we here?” Jon said, standing over Brendon and Krissy, who were still laying together on the cold stone floor of the castle. Cassie peeked around her companion and smirked at her friend who had cracked an eye open to see who had found them.
When the taller girl noticed her friend, she tore away from Brendon and leaped up to hug her friend.
Jon looked down at Brendon and cocked his eyebrow, silently asking a multitude of questions.
Brendon shrugged and smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry dude, my bad.”

Jon only shook his head and turned his attention back to Cassie, who had just managed to escape from Krissy’s hug.

“So we found them, finally.”

“And before 6 to boot.” the girl replied, much to the dismay of Brendon and Krissy.

“Damn it…we were hoping we’d make it to at least six,” Brendon muttered as Krissy sat back down next to him. “We’ll have to get lost again sometime and try and actually achieve our goal.”

Both Cassie and Jon looked horror-struck, and Krissy was laughing again, allowing Brendon to wrap his arms around her.

“Whatever, Urie. It’s time to go back to the hotel. Ryan’s gonna be so mad at you, you know.” Brendon feigned fear and stood up, holding his hand down to help Krissy up.

“Yeah, we need to get home. We do have class in about two hours,” the blonde girl mused, smirking. She knew as well as Cassie that the chances of them actually going to those classes were slim.

“Then, I suppose…” Jon said, avoiding saying what was inevitable.

The other three nodded, hesitant to bring this all to an end.

“We’ll catch you guys next time you’re in town.” Krissy said, taking a step towards the steps that led out of the castle and into the park. Cassie nodded and followed suit. Both girls waved goodbye and were gone.

The two boys watched them walk out of the park, back towards the bus station. After they were out of sight, Jon sighed.

“That was so anti-climactic,” the older boy said, leaning on the stone wall.

“I almost want to go after them, you know?”

“Yeah, but that just seems so…cliché.”

After a moment, Brendon gave a short laugh and a sly smile broke out across his face.

“Didn’t you guys use your phone to call hers?”

“Yeah…” Jon said, confused. When Brendon turned to him, the sly smile still on his lips, Jon’s face faded to a matching grin.

“Yeah we did.”


Thomas woke up with the morning (no, maybe it was afternoon) light streaming in on his face, causing that uncomfortable warmth to take over. He had always found that so annoying. Rolling over and grumbling into the pillow, he allowed himself to think about last night. Last night, he was at Insinuation, that club in the most redundant location. Residential? Yeah, sure that residential area was downtown, but hell, it seemed ass-backwards to Thomas.
“Brendon…” the brown-haired boy grumbled out from the pillow. “Brendon, get the fuck over here.”
Thomas went silent for a moment, listening for the younger boy’s footfalls. He heard nothing.
“Brendon,” he called a little louder. Still nothing. “Fuck you, asshole.” Thomas muttered under his breath, giving up on getting attention from Brendon. He’d find him later, and ask him about that girl he’d seen going into one of the apartment buildings when they’d left the club. Brendon knew everything. He’d have to know who she was.
…
Brendon, for once, had ignored Thomas’s whiny voice. When he agreed to be the older boy’s roommate in his amazing penthouse loft, he never would have guessed that “roommate” meant “personal assistant/maid/living address book”. But then again, he should have seen it coming. When you literally know everyone in the city, you have to be wary of people who want to utilize your connections for you. Thomas was no exception. In fact, he was the prime example of a user. He paid for Brendon’s rent and gave him almost anything he asked for, and only demanded information about everyone that caught his eye. Today, however, Brendon didn’t want to give out information, didn’t want to play help kiosk to Thomas. He knew who he’d ask about, what he’d ask. He didn’t want to hear that. Not in the least. He always got what he wanted, and Brendon decided that this time, the tables would turn.
…
“Brendon? Where the fuck are you?”
Thomas had finally managed to pull himself out of bed, and was walking around his whitewashed apartment in rather worn sleep pants, his bare feet making the typical slapping noises against the hardwood floor. Entering the kitchen, Thomas plopped himself down at the small table, looking around as if expecting something to be there.
“Seriously, Bren. What the fuck? Get over here.”
“Since when do you get to talk to me like a fucking housewife in the fifties?” Brendon said as he entered the kitchen from the opposite doorway, in his hands a small black book.
“Since you agreed to be my bitch.” Thomas flashed the younger boy a cocky smirk; Brendon just rolled his eyes with disgust.
“What do you want, Dutton?”
Thomas’ smile faded and he looked thoughtful for a moment.
“Do you remember when we left the club last night?”
Brendon nodded and flipped open the small black book, turning pages as if searching for something.
“Yeah, well, then do you remember that girl we saw? The one in the white dress going into whichever building that was?”
Again, Brendon nodded, but didn’t look up. Thomas glanced at him, waiting for a response. After nearly a minute of silence, Thomas sighed.
“So? What about her?”
Brendon looked up from the book and looked Thomas straight in the eye for a moment. Then he shrugged and returned his attention to the book.
“I don’t know. She must be new in town, or something.”
Thomas sighed heavily and stood up.
“Get on that, Brendon. I want to have a little chat with her.”
The older boy stalked off, presumably to get ready for whatever he had planned for the day. As soon as he was out of earshot, Brendon gave a sigh of his own and tossed the little black book on the table.
“Yeah, of course you’d want to have a ‘little chat’ with her,” he muttered under his breath as he walked back to his own room. “I’m not gonna let you fucking touch Greta.”


Greta hadn’t exactly been thrilled with the location, but the view made up for it. From huge windows in her studio apartment, she could see the entirety of the downtown area. She especially loved the sight from the nighttime, when all of the lights came on, drowning out the real stars with ones man-made. For some reason, she found beauty in that loss. However, the one sight she wasn’t particularly fond of was of the club, called Insinuation, that was across the street from her building. When in her apartment, she couldn’t see the establishment, but to enter her building she had to pass right by it, past all of the crude remarks and less than moral stares she got. She had been warned that moving to the city would be a big change from her small town life, but that hadn’t scared Greta. She knew that moving to the city was the only way she could expand herself, her horizons, and she was willing to face the grimy underbelly of the metropolitan to achieve her goal. She knew herself well enough to know that she wouldn’t stray from her beliefs, from the proper upbringing her parents had given her. Nothing could sway her from what she believed was right and good. At least, she was fairly certain of that.
She hadn’t been expecting any guests, so Greta was a little surprised when she heard a knock on her door that afternoon. She opened the door slowly, getting ready to slam it shut and call the police if worse came to worse. She soon found that she wouldn’t need to resort to such actions.
“Brendon!” she cried, throwing herself at the boy. “I thought you’d left the country, or something.”
“Haha, yeah, sorry about my sudden disappearance. I really did mean to call you, or something, it’s just…that I got really busy and…well, you get it.”
Greta nodded and let the boy inside, shutting the door behind him.
“So…wow, I mean, what brings you here? How’d you know I was living here?”
Brendon glanced away for a moment, a habit he had had since he learned how to lie.
“I uh, tried to call you the other day, but your mom said that you’d moved and gave me your new address.” He glanced up at the girl’s face. She was smiling, she had bought it.
“And you’ve been living here in the city the whole time?”
Brendon nodded and walked towards a couch.
“Weird, what are the chances that we’d end up in the same place again?” Greta plopped down next to him, her eyes not once leaving his face. That fact wasn’t lost on Brendon, not at all.
“Yeah, really weird,” he muttered glancing away again. “Hey, Greta, um. I have to come clean here.”
The younger girl leaned away from him for a moment, watching his face.
“About what, Brendon?”
“I only came here to warn you about someone. He…well…he’s a…um…an aquiantence of mine, but I know that he’s not a good person. So, if you’re going to stay away from one person in the whole city, stay away from Thomas Dutton.”
Greta stared at the boy for a moment and then gave a short laugh.
“That’s it? You came to warn me about some guy that I’ll probably never cross paths with? This city is huge Bren, do you honestly think I’ll ever have to worry about this guy?”
Brendon could tell by the rising tone of her voice that she was annoyed. He sighed and rested his face in his hand.
“Greta, you don’t understand. This guy, Thomas, he’s this…I don’t even know. I’ll bet he’s already seen you, and you’ve already seen him. He’s fucking everywhere.” Brendon stood up, leaving Greta on the couch. “Just, promise me you’ll be careful, okay?” The girl didn’t say anything, and Brendon shook his head and walked towards the door. “I’ll call you later, okay Greta?”
With that, he was gone.
Greta didn’t move, letting her old friend’s visit sink in. If this Thomas person really wasn’t dangerous, Brendon wouldn’t have wasted his time warning her. Brendon was not one to waste his time.
“Okay Brendon,” she whispered into the empty apartment. “I promise.”


C is for Complicated
Complicated. that's the main way to describe brendon and ryan's relationship. band mates and best friends on stage. lovers heind closed doors, not that brendon would have a problem outing him self to the world. it was ryan's reputation that stopped them from their PDA. Even brendon agreed that the band had come too far to lose it all now due to homophobia. They couldn't give the critics another reason to critizize them.
So brendon sat, staring at ryan while they rehersed. everyday the words came to him like they'd been there alway. Ryans lyrics imprinted in his brain. Ryans movements stabing at brendons heart. He wanted so much to just let the whole world know how much he cared for the older boy.
"Nothing seemed to matter except for me to be with you" brendon sang out staring at ryan, ryan stared back at brendon. It was one thing that brendon hated, he couldn't read Ryan's stares.
"But in time we all forgot and we all grew." ryan looked away from brendon and brendons heart broke. he prayed that ryan wouldn't forget about the love they shared. He knew that taking the risk he had taken with ryan could mean the make or break of their band and their friendship but brendon couldn't stop himself.
Brendon watched Jon and Spencer get up and leave obviously telling him that their rehersal was over and their show was on in half an hour. Brendon looked at ryan again hoping to look into his beautiful eyes once again but instead he was met with dark hair as ryan tuned his guitar and sang something under his breath. Brendon sighed lightly and got up to walk out of the practice room. Before he got to the door ryan called out to him
"Brendon?"
"Yeah?" Brendon answered turning around to look at the boy.
"I love you" Ryan smiled a little and gave Brendon a warm look.
Brendon smiled "I love you too, ryan" Brendon turned around and frowned again. one question on the younger boys mind. but did he really love him?
Brendon walked around the arena until it was time for the show to start and when it did brendon believed that the audience wasn't as enthusiastic as they usually where but then again brendon blaimed it on the fact that he wasn't trying to hard. He was far to depressed and to lost in thought to make ryan's words come out sounding right. the night went on with two songs to go brendon began to sing the song that made his heart break earlier.
"allow me to exagerate a memory or two.
where summers lasted longer then, longer then we do.
when nothing really mattered---" brendon was cut off by ryans own singing.
"Nothing's ever mattered except for me to be with you" ryan sang as he walked towards brendon. He toke brendon into his arms and kissed him so deeply that brendon felt like his heart had stopped, the crowd had went silent.
Ryan smiled at brendon as he clung to him and he continued to sing. "If love is not enough to put my enemies to sleep then im puttin' out the lantern find your own way back home" ryan had wrapped his arms around brendon and he had looked out into the crowd.
"I love you Brendon Urie." ryan stated. brendon smiled as the crowd cheered louder then he had ever heard a crowd cheer before.
And in that moment ryan ross had never had him so convinced

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