Saturday, February 7, 2009

panic a-z
A is for art

"Remind me again just why we are doing this?" Ryan asks with a small frown. Spencer who is sitting on Ryan's right looks at him and he's actually smiling a little and that kinda annoys Ryan because he thought that if anyone would be on his let-not-do-this train, it would be Spencer.

"We're here because Pete thought it would bring us closer together as a band." Spencer tells him and Ryan rolls his eyes and curses the day he ever met Pete Wentz.

The four of them, Ryan, Spencer, Jon, and Brendon were all in some group art studio thing located in downtown L.A. Ryan figures that Pete must've called ahead because no one else happens to be in the place, except for the workers of course.

Ryan still sat fuming that he even had to be in this place on the band's limited time off, when one of the workers, a man named Tom approached them a tray of paint pallets in hand.

"This is gonna be so cool!" Brendon exclaimed and Ryan rolled his eyes at Brendon's giddiness. Jon grinned at Brendon's childlike excitement.

Tom the worker set the paint pallets down infront of each of the boys, grinning as he did so. Brendon clapped his hands together in a way that made him look like a teenage girl attending one of their concerts. Tom then handed them long sheets of blank white paper and stood back with a stupid grin on his face.

Instantly Brendon grinned wide and dipped his thin fingers into the different paint blotches on the pallet. Ryan watched as Jon and Spencer did the same. Ryan was grimicing and eagerly awaiting the arrival of his paintbrush.

"Aren't you gonna start, Ry?" Spencer asks, his pointer finger stained green.

"Um, paintbrush?" Ryan states in a obvious sort of way.

"No brushes here Ryan, we use our fingers." Jon leans over and tells him with a smile on his face. Ryan glances at his bandmates and notices that they had all started painting, streaks of colors on their papers while Ryan's remained blank.

Ryan sighs lightly and rolls up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, regretting that he chose this day to wear it. He also removes his fingerless black leather gloves because he definitly didn't want those to get ruined.

Once he was sure he wouldn't ruin his clothing Ryan slowly dipped his index finger into the red paint. It felt cool against his skin and he stared down at his paper, brown eyes focused as he tried to think of what to paint. The other guys seemed to be having no problems in this area.

Brendon was a mad man with the paints as he dipped his fingers rapidly, paint staining all ten digits, mixing the colors together.

Ryan had to admit that after five minutes he was actually having fun. He had always enjoyed art but never considered himself too artistically inclined, music was his art and he was okay with that. But now his paper was marred with intricate streaks of deep red and black and green and he liked how his abstract art was unfolding.

"Look Ryan!" Brendon said excitedly, Ryan looked up from his picture and turned to his left to see what Brendon had created. "It's you and me!" he practically squealed as if Ryan needed to be told what Brendon's childlike drawing was.

The finger painting was of two stick figures holding hands. The figures, as Brendon had said were meant to be the two of them. The Brendon figure had a shock of spikey painted black hair and a huge painted grin. The Ryan figure had brown hair that was spiked up in a fauxhawk roostery fashion and a bright purple streak across the figures black eyes.

Between the stick figure Brendon and Ryan was a big pink heart that took up a lot of the paper. Brendon was holding it up like it was the greatest thing ever and Jon was patting Brendon on the back. Spencer was grinning while he painted a grassy field.

The four boys stayed at the art studio for about an hour. When they were done the boys got the chance to wash off which was good because Brendon was covered in paint up to his forearms and had somehow managed to get it on his own and Jon's face.

The studio framed the art for the customers so Ryan got his red, green, black awesome abstract art framed and Spencer had framed the picture of a grassy field and sunset, Jon framed a picture he painted of a polar bear and Brendon had about twenty pictures framed.

He had painted more then any of them. His pictures ranging from the one of him and Ryan, to one of Jon wearing bunny ears and Spencer as a cat, he had even painted a puppy and Pete wearing a dress.

On the way out of the studio, as Ryan was putting on his fingerless gloves Brendon came up to him. "Here Ryan." Brendon said as he handed a golden framed picture to Ryan, the picture was the stick figure drawing of the two of them. "I want you to have this." Brendon smiled.

Ryan took it and smiled at Brendon as he looked down at the picture.

Later on that evening when Ryan was back at home, alone. He spotted the picture on the counter. Ryan smiled to himself a bit as he picked it up and took it out of the frame, he put it on the fridge sticking it with a magnet. He smiled at Brendon's art and went to find his cellphone to call the younger boy.


B is for Broken

Spencer always thought that Ryan was broken. He wasn't being mean when he thought this way, he was just stating a fact.

Spencer had met Ryan when he was three and Ryan was four. Back then, Ryan wasn't broken, just cracked, Spencer would think. A fine crack hidden beneath childhood innocence that no one but Spencer could see.

As time wore on, the crack grew more and more, spiderwebs across porcelain skin until Ryan was finally as he is now, broken.

Chips and pieces of Ryan falling off through their childhood and adolescents. When his mom left, his dad's rough words and alcoholic tendencies, the girls that broke his heart. All these things caused Ryan to crack, slowly breaking down. Pieces of himself raining down and he didn't even notice.

Spencer was always the one who noticed.

He would watch and comfort Ryan when the older boy needed it. Spencer spent his life following Ryan around, collecting his broken pieces in the hopes of one day putting him back together.

Forming the band helped, Spencer was sure that another piece had returned to his best friend. Meeting Brendon helped too, he seemed to add more pieces to Ryan if anything. Panic hitting it big was what had almost fixed Ryan, almost.

When Ryan's dad died Spencer lost all his progress and Ryan was broken again, back to the teenager that was missing pieces.

Spencer was worried but he stuck by Ryan's side, collected the pieces all over again and when Spencer kissed Ryan in his living room one night and the boy kissed back. He felt that finally, finally.

Ryan was put back together.


C is for Cake

Jon Walker never baked in his entire twenty-two years of being alive. He never really had to learn. When he was younger his mom did all the baking while his dad taught Jon and his brothers about music, and football, and other things he thought boys should know.

Jon never thought he needed to learn how to bake, that was until he heard Brendon telling Spencer about how much he loved chocolate cake. Since that day Jon has been desperate to learn how to bake a good or at least edible chocolate cake.

He enlisted Spencer's help of course because Spencer always looked like he knew how to bake, unfortunatly he didn't. So Jon was left to learn to cook through books that Spencer and Ryan had bought him. Needless to say, the books were not enough.

Jon had gotten Spencer and Ryan to be his test subjects, the two boys had tried Jon's first four cakes and after the fourth one Spencer said he would never eat cake again and Ryan said he couldn't taste anything at all. After expending his own band members Jon moved on to his other friends.

Surprisingly Pete Wentz did know how to bake, as did Patrick and the duo had offered to come over and teach Jon how to cook. With their help, his cakes were actually starting to look like cakes, granted they were more like soup on the inside but whatever, Jon wasn't picky.

Gabe Saporta suggested that Jon go out and buy a cake then just tell Brendon that he made it. Jon didn't want to do this because he thought about all the times in the future that he would like to be able to make cakes for Brendon.

The rest of Jon's friends proved to be little help as well. Travis and Joe both suggested that he make what they call 'special' brownies for Brendon instead of the cake but Jon didn't think that Brendon would want those kind of brownies; William gave Jon a recipe for pineapple upside down cake.

So now Jon was left on his own and he buckled down and practiced making the cakes over and over until he got it right. The day his cake came out the best he was covered in flour, with chocolate icing on his face and broken eggshells stuck to the bottom of his shoes.

The cake definitly wasn't the prettiest thing Jon had ever seen but he tried his best and it looked presentable enough, he just hoped it tasted good.

Jon called Brendon over and the boy showed up fifteen minutes later, hugging Jon as he entered the home. "Hey, J-Walk what's up?" Brendon asked a big grin on his adorable face.

Jon smiled his stomach a little tight, he had managed to take a shower in the short time before Brendon arrived. "I-uh, I made something for you Bden." the older boy told the younger and again Brendon's face lit up in a bright smile.

"You did?" he asked and Jon nodded motioning for Brendon to follow him into the kitchen. Jon moved aside and allowed the younger boy to see the large chocolately cake that Jon had sat out in the middle of his kitchen table on his fanciest china. "You made me a cake?" Brendon asked and Jon nodded.

Brendon gifted Jon again with a hug and Jon wanted nothing more then to wrap the younger boy in his arms and never let him go. Brendon looked excited as he sat at the table and allowed Jon to serve him an extra large slice of his homemade cake.

Brendon took a huge bite and his tastebuds recoiled at the food he was eating. The cake tasted bad, dusty not done or something and Brendon wanted to spit it out of his mouth immediently but he looked at Jon and saw the hopeful look in the older man eyes.

The younger boy swallowed the vile cake before he set his fork down. He knew Jon was working so hard to make a good cake for him and he just couldn't tell the older boy that it tasted anything less then godly. Brendon moved to Jon and threw himself into Jon's arms.

"You made me a cake!" Brendon cooed and he leaned up and kissed Jon softly and quickly. Jon looked surprised before he allowed the kiss to happen and he wrapped his arms around Brendon tightly.

Maybe Jon couldn't make good cakes to save his life but if Brendon got his way then Jon would have years to practice on him.


D is for Die

Spencer and Brendon sat snuggled up close on the couch, a blanket thrown over the two of them. The duo was currently watching the ending credits of a romanctic movie. "Spencer...why would you rent this movie?" Brendon asked his younger boyfriend as he blew his nose.

Spencer rolled his eyes a bit and looked at Brendon, who was currently crying. "Bren, I've never seen this movie before. I didn't know he died at the end." Spencer said, he patted his boyfriend on the back as Brendon sniffed still sad at the movie's unhappy ending.

"They totally deserved a happy ending!" Brendon cried, his brown eyes wide and sparkling with tears.

"I know." Spencer said as he leaned in close to Brendon thouching their foreheads together. "But it was just a movie." He said lightly leaning in and kissing Brendon softly, pulling the boy closer he was trying his best to comfort his boyfriend.

"I know." Brendon said when the two broke apart. He rested his head against Spencer's shoulder. "I cried because I was thinking of you and I." He whispered and it sounded like he was getting choked up again.

"You and I?" Spencer asked and Brendon nodded looking up at him with those wide eyes.

"Yeah, I was thinking what if it was you and I in the movie...what would I do if you died?" Brendon asked and his voice wavered and grew small and Spencer knew he was going to cry.

Spencer just felt kinda confused. The two of them were so young and in good health, and really, what were the chances that Spencer would get hit by a car as he went to buy a wedding ring for Brendon?

"I don't think you have to worry about that for a long time Bren." Spencer said, brushing his hand through the older boy's black hair. Brendon looked up at Spencer and sighed, finding the other boys hand under the blanket and grasping it tightly.

"I want to die first so I don't ever have to live a day without you Spencer." Brendon said, and Spencer can't tell if he's being serious or not but he thinks that he is and Spencer stops and thinks about what his boyfriend just said.

"I wouldn't want that Brendon, I wouldn't want you to die. I don't want either of us to die." Spencer didn't know how the conversation had gotten so serious and he was beginning to think that the fucking movie should have some kind of warning label like: 'warning, this movie will suddenly make your significant other want to die so they won't have to suffer through losing you'.

"It's gonna happen Spence, sooner or later one of us is going to die." Brendon said and he sat up and moved away from Spencer eyeing his boyfriend seriously.

"Yeah, no one lives forever but tell you what Brendon." Spencer started and he took both of Brendon's hands in his own looking at the boy lovingly. "How about the two of us just live and do whatever makes us happy and just be with each other. and we'll live long happy lives and nothing will matter because we'll be together." Spencer said and he leaned in again and kissed Brendon and the boy kissed back.

"I love you Spencer Smith." Brendon said as he tackled Spencer back onto the couch into a hug and he was smiling and his eyes had dried up and Spencer knew that he'd be okay.

"I love you too Brendon Urie." Spencer said as he kissed Brendon's temple and he never meant anything more in his entire life.

E is for Error

Ryan Ross always wanted to be famous, well, that probably wasn't true. There had to be a time when he didn't crave fame or want to be a celebrity but if that time existed, Ryan couldn't remember it.

Ever since he was thirtheen years old Ryan wanted to be famous. But despite his deep want for fame Ryan never believed he could actually achieve it. He never thought what he and and his friends were doing, their makeshift band was good enough to actually make it.

Now nine years later and Ryan had everything he had ever wanted, he had a way out of his old life, he had an escape, he had friends, he had fame, but he wasn't happy. Ryan had always scoffed when he heard celebrities say they weren't happy, he couldn't comprehend back then why anyone who had everything they wanted would complain about it.

Now he understood and now he had begun to believe that maybe, just maybe his fame was all some sort of fluke, an error.

After all the others were happy. Brendon, Spencer, and Jon couldn't be happier. Sure, they missed their friends and family but overall they enjoyed the lives they were leading. Ryan felt like that's how he should be acting, he should be happy but he wasn't...which led him to believe that he hadn't earned this fame at all.

Ryan was currently moping around in his apartment in Vegas. The band was on a mini vacation, a break between gigs and press jobs. He wasn't alone though, no, Jon Walker was with him. Jon was with him because the older boy had yet to buy a proper home here in Vegas, so he was in a constant need for a place to crash.

The brown haired boy was laying in his bed when he heard footsteps in the hall, he knew right away that it was Jon, Ryan had grown use to the older boy's presence in the house. The footsteps grew closer until they stopped all together and Ryan looked up to see Jon leaning against his doorway.

"Are you moping again Ryan?" Jon asked, a grin on his face.

"No." Ryan began even though that's exactly what he was doing at the time. He prickled at the fact that the other boy knew him so well. "I'm just thinking."

Jon rolled his eyes a bit. "You're always thinking. Don't you ever get tired of being in your own head?" he asked and he moved closer to the bed. Ryan didn't say anything, he didn't know how to be tired of the safest place he knew.

Ryan felt the bed dip and Jon was sitting there in his grey t-shirt and checkered pajama pants.

"I just don't feel like I deserve it you know?" Ryan said weakly and Jon gave a little sigh. The younger boy felt Jon move up onto the bed and suddenly he was laying next to Ryan. "I feel like everything happened by accident. that we got signed only because Pete liked the look and not the music and the fans...sometimes I think they only like us because we look so pretty and because Pete says we're cool...what if was all a mistake? Some kind of error?" Ryan said and he sounded so self-concious and sad.

"Don't think like that Ry." Jon began and he was laying on his side, all warm smiles and soft brown eyes. Ryan turned on his side too, facing Jon and watching the older boys face. "Everything you have in this world, all the successes you have, everything was gotten because you have talent." Jon told him.

Ryan was quiet and Jon was watching him, not waiting for anything just letting the boy think it all out.

"Thank you Jon." Ryan whispered and Jon just smiled. The younger boy return the smile before his slid his cold hand down pressing it into Jon's warm one.

"You're welcome Ry." The older boy said, he felt Ryan lace his long bony fingers with his own.

Ryan settled next to Jon and neither boy spoke because there was no need to. Ryan was feeling that if Jon was right and he had really earned everything he had gotten in his life, then what in the hell had he done to deserve Jon Walker.


F is for First

Spencer Smith and Ryan Ross laid streched out on a soft blanket in Ryan's backyard. The boys were on their backs, Spencer's head resting on his folded arms. He turned his head and looked at his best friend. The moonlight was shining down on them and hitting Ryan in such a way that it made Spencer's heart clench.

It wasn't unusual for the duo to wind up in Ryan's yard like this, considering the same thing had been happening ever since they were fourteen. It was always Ryan's idea. Anytime something in Ryan's life felt too hard, was too much for the young brown haired boy to handle. He'd pull out a blanket and call Spencer. It had always been that way and Spencer was sure that it would always be.

"Hey, Spence?" he hears Ryan ask and Spencer turns his head to look at him.

"Hmm?"

"Remember when we used to lay out here when we were kids?" Spencer's best friend asked and now he was looking at Spencer. The younger boy nodded.

"Remember we had our first kiss in my backyard?" Ryan asks again and he's smiling this time and Spencer grins at him.

"Yeah, I remember Ry." and really he did remember easily, like the event had happened last night as opposed to five years ago.

The two of them had been doing almost the same exact same as they were doing now. Laying together, Ryan was hiding from his father and Spencer was trying his best not to notice the dark purple mark blossoming on Ryan's cheek.

"I don't know why he hates me so much..." Ryan had whispered after a long time of being quiet and Spencer propped himself up on one elbow to stare at his best friend.

"He's got problems Ry." Spencer said but he didn't know if he was helping or not.

"It's not just him though..it feels like everyone hates me...everyone but you." Ryan had said and he sat up and stared at Spencer.

"No one hates you Ryan, and I know. I could never hate you for as long as I live. You're my best friend and I love you." Spencer had said back, trying to comfort his friend. He meant what he said, he did love Ryan and he wasn't nearly as embaressed as he should've been by telling the older boy that.

Ryan was quiet and Spencer was afraid he had weired out the other boy. But then Ryan moved forward slowly, on his hands and knees towards Spencer. They were close, closer then they had ever been and Spencer could feel Ryan's breath on his face but he didn't pull away.

His heart was beating too fast as Ryan came closer, he was looking Spencer in the eyes. Trying to see if this was all okay. Ryan looked nervous but he didn't stop and before Spencer knew it their lips had met.

It was all warm and dry and a little awkward. Ryan's hands clutched the blanket under him and Spencer was frozen not really knowing what to do. Neither one of them did. In that moment they had their first kiss and it wasn't like Spencer imagined, but at the same time it was comforting because it was Ryan and no matter what Ryan would always be a source of comfort for the other boy.

Spencer was snapped back to reality by Ryan's cold hand touching his face.

"You thinking about it?" He asked and Spencer flushed pink just a bit and nodded.

"Me too." Ryan admitted and he looked sheepish and suddenly Spencer felt like he was fourteen all over again, sitting in his backyard with his best friend. "It was a pretty boring first kiss." Ryan added and he laughed, Spencer joined in.

"Yeah, really average." Spencer said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Maybe, we should try again." Ryan suggested and he was looking at Spencer through his fringe of bangs. Looking all the part of a socially awkward fifteen year old.

This didn't surprise Spencer either. In the five years since that kiss, a multitude of other experiences had happened between the two boys. There were kisses and touches and sex, none as awkward as that first time. They hadn't kissed or anything in a while though. Spencer kinda missed it.

"Yeah, I think we should." Spencer said and this time it was him moving forward slowly, advancing on his best friend. Ryan didn't move away, just leaned in and brushed their lips together softly before he pressed together firmly and deepend the kiss.

By now Spencer wasn't surprised by anything Ryan Ross did, but it didn't mean he didn't enjoy it.


G is for Ghost-Story:

Jon Walker didn't know whose idea it was to start telling ghost stories. He thinks it was Ryan's and once Brendon got a whiff of the plan it was a full on Oh-My-God-We-Must-Do-This! kind of matter. Jon didn't mind much, he wasn't afraid of stories. He wasn't, but Spencer was.

The four boys had moved outside to the back of the cabin they had been staying in, trying their best to write some material for their new album. Ryan and Brendon led the pack, the darkness surrounding the boys and the sounds of leaves rustling and branches snapping under their heavy footsteps.

There was a small fire pit in the back, complete with four or five large grey stones that sat in a circle around the pit. The fire was already going, Ryan loved starting the fire up and Jon was glad because if Ryan didn't do it then Brendon would probably try and knowing the boy he'd end up burning off his eye brows or something like that.

They settled around the fire, the warmth pressing in on Jon's face but he still tucked his hands into his hoodie's pockets. Brendon sat on Jon's left and Spencer on his right, with Ryan being seated between Brendon and Spencer. Like he said, he wasn't scared of ghost stories, he was just a little wary of having his back to the darkness, the endless woods engulfing them.

Brendon decided to go first and he leaned in a little closer to the fire, his face aglow with a bright orange light. The boy's story was deciedly not scary, Brendon's story had something to do with an old camera that showed you the person whose picture you take's death. At the end the main character took a photo of himself and in the background he saw a man standing behind him with a knife.

Brendon probably would've been scarier if his face had not been so expressive during the story.

Ryan went next and his story was insanely creepier then Brendon's but Jon still wasn't scared, he was however going to lock the door next time he took a shower. They offered Spencer to go next but he shook his head, his arms crossed tight over his chest and a tight scowl on his face. Since Spencer wouldn't go, Jon decided to.

Jon wasn't sure if the story was good or not, he told one that he remembered from his childhood and he had always liked the story. Ryan told him he had a good voice for storytelling but Jon believed Ryan was better suited at that. Brendon said he felt jumpy and Spencer said nothing but that he was cold and wanted to go inside.

The ghost story telling time ended after that. Spencer had travled back into the cabin and Jon decided that he would too, his flip-flop wearing feet were too cold to stay out any longer. Brendon and Ryan stayed out longer, making smores and roasting marshmallows.

The rest of the night passed normally except for Spencer being oddly quiet. Jon asked him about it but he just looked surprised and gave a little shrug saying nothing was wrong. Jon wasn't sure if that was true but he didn't want to press the issue.

Jon crawled into bed at around two-thirty in the morning. He was sleeping pretty well until around three in the morning when he felt a odd weight on his bed. His sleep filled mind reeled as he sat up and peered into the darkness, peered right at Spencer sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Spence? What are you doing?" Jon asked, his voice groggy with sleep. Spencer fidigeted and looked down at his knees before he looked back up at Jon.

"I...can I sleep in here with you?" Spencer asked and his voice was light and soft and Jon wanted to laugh because Spencer sounded like a little kid.

"Uh, why?" The older boy asked because sure, he and Spencer were close but since when did they share a bed? Spencer gave a look like he really didn't want to tell Jon why and just wanted him to let him in the bed. But he gave a light sigh and spilled.

"I'm...I'm scared okay?" Spencer said his voice raising a bit. Jon just stared at the younger boy for a moment, still too tired to comprehend what was happening.

"Scared of what?" The older boy asked, confused at what could make the youngest in the band scared.

Spencer sighed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and Jon just wasn't getting it.

"Of the stories Jon!...your story in paticular...I-I don't want to be alone in my room." Spencer half whined.

To be honest, Jon was not expecting this.

"Why don't you go sleep in Ryan's bed. He's your bestfriend." Jon suggested as he laid back down on the bed, too tired to deal with Spencer's fear.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Brendon is already in there." Spencer told him and the older boy didn't even want to think about what the duo could be doing. It was Jon's turn to sigh.

"Alright, Spence, you can sleep in here." Jon told him and Spencer smiled and before Jon knew it the younger boy crawled up in the space next to Jon snuggling under the warm blanket.

Jon fell back to sleep relativly quickly, to the sounds of Spencer's breathing. The younger boy stayed awake longer, smiling in the middle of the night when he felt Jon's warm, heavy arm snuggle around his side, their legs had tangled together too, Jon's cooler feet pressed against Spencer's warm legs.

Spencer wasn't afraid anymore, not when he could fall asleep listening to Jon's steady breathing.


H is for Horror:

"Horror movies are so stupid." Brendon complained from his spot on the couch. The young boy was sandwhiched on the couch between Ryan and Spencer, Jon was sitting on the floor, his back pressed against the couch and Spencer's pale calused fingers playing with the hair at the back of his neck.

"What makes you say that Brendon?" Ryan asked from Brendon's left, he pulled his gaze away from the movie to look at his friend and fellow bandmate. The younger boy looked back at Ryan as if the anwser were completely obvious.

"The movies are way too predictable. The killers are always the nice guys, and no one ever suspects the nice guy." He said with a shrug, his dark brown gaze sliding from Ryan and back to the movie.

Later into the night Spencer and Ryan were on the couch, Spencer flipping lazily through channels attempting to find something interesting to watch. He stopped on the local news station and Ryan raised his hand up to stop the boy from continuing his random channel flipping.

The head story of the night was that the body of a local teenaged girl had been found in a creek. Ryan gave a slight shudder as he listened to the story, it wasn't the first time that a body had been found, as much as it disturbed Ryan, this kind of thing had been happening a lot lately.

The people were never killed in the same way, this time it had been a slit throat but other times had been decaptiation and gunshots, and other gruesome things that Ryan didn't like to think about. The causes of death's were always different but similar enough for the police to conclude that the same person was responsible for the number of deaths, that number had now risen to ten.

It scared Ryan but not enough for him to discontinue living his everyday life.

A few weeks passed without any murders happening, at least that's what Ryan thought, he couldn't be sure though because with all the shows they were playing it was too much trouble paying attention to the news.

The band had a small break though and once again Ryan heard the news that another body had been found. This time of a twenty something man. That scared Ryan more because hello, they were all twenty something men. It was that night that he took to constantly asking his friends where they would be.

Currently he was sitting at the kitchen table with Spencer across from him, Brendon next to him and Jon sitting on the wooden counter. "You guys, please pay attention! It's for our safety!" Ryan pleaded with his bandmates.

"Okay, okay Ryan we're listening." Jon said as he took a bite of the cereal he had been eating. The three boys quieted down as Ryan read aloud the tips he had printed off a website designed for parents intent on keeping their children safe. The boy read all twenty five tips while Brendon fidgeted in his seat, Spencer stared off into space and Jon was staring intently at the back of the cereal box that sat next to him.

Later that night the four boys had decided to go out and spend the evening hanging at Pete's bar. Ryan was trying his best to not be paranoid as they made their way to the bar and after a few drinks and friendly chit-chat, he actually found himself forgetting all about his paranoia.

At around one in the morning, Ryan was at the bar laughing and drinking with Patrick and Gabe. He downed a drink in one gulp and spun himself on the black leather barstool, giggling as he did so. Mid turn he spotted Spencer and Brendon chatting with William Beckett, well, Spencer was chatting while Brendon was clinging to the older boy and Jon was there too...Ryan thought, talking to Mike and watching William.

Ryan remembers Pete and Patrick giving him a ride back to the apartment he shared with his bandmates. He had slipped and gotten pretty wasted, he can remember asking Patrick where Brendon, Spencer, and Jon were because honestly he didn't know. When he wakes up in his bed the next morning, his body aches along with his head.

The frail boy stumbled out to the kitchen to make coffee and he spots Spencer asleep on the couch and Jon on the floor, Spencer's hand loosely holding on to Jon's sweater sleeve. To be honest he's releaved to see the duo, now that he was sober the thought of the serial killer that was apparently loose on the town was returning to him. A flash of fear entered him because yeah, Jon and Spencer were here but where was Brendon?

Grizzly thoughts flashed through Ryan's mind because Brendon would be the perfect victim for a crazy serial killer, the young boy was way too trusting. The older boy was about to call out for Brendon when he heard the toliet flush and turned quickly, seeing Brendon exiting the bathroom, his eyes sleepy and black hair disheveled.

Ryan must've looked strange because Brendon stopped in his tracks and stared at the boy. "What's wrong Ryan? I flushed this time." Brendon said as he brushed passed Ryan, the older boy reached out and took a hold of Brendon's wrist, pulling the younger boy in towards him and grasping the boy in a tight hug.

"Thanks for being alive Brendon." Ryan mumbled and he knew he wasn't making sense but he didn't care.

"Uh, you're welcome." The boy replied as Ryan let him go and the younger boy headed back to his bedroom.

Ryan was in a considerably good mood when he got the call from Pete. Spencer and Jon who had been standing near Ryan quieted down and listened intently as Ryan anwsered his phone. "Hey Pete, what's up?" He begins, his handsome face smiling.

The smile quickly faded and was replaced by a deep grimace, which as seconds passed was replaced by a horrified expression. Spencer and Jon watched their own faces shadowed in worry at the news that Ryan was recieving. "Yeah, yeah, Pete, I understand...I'll uh...I'll talk to you later..." Ryan said as he hung up and there was a moment of silence between the three boys, Spencer's eyes asking questions of Ryan that only best friends could understand.

"What's wrong Ryan?" Spencer asked finally and Ryan looked away from his friends, his voice was low and quivering and terrified sounding.

"You guys...William...he's dead." Ryan mumbled and the words, though coming out of his mouth didn't seem true at all, not when they had just seen the older boy last night, not when he was just smiling and laughing and living.

"Oh, oh god." Was all Spencer said and he had brought his hand to his mouth in shock. Jon was grimcing, trying to comprehend what was happening.

"How? How did it happen?" Jon asked and Ryan knew the question would be asked but it still didn't mean he wanted to anwser.

"He...he was killed...I-I guess they found him in an alley this morning..." Ryan said softly. He wished he wasn't the one Pete had called, he wished that Pete had told Jon or Spencer or anyone in the world beside him. He so desperatley didn't want to be the messenger.

Again silence took the group before Brendon entered the living room, spotting the sullen faces of his bandmates. "You guys? What's wrong?" Brendon asked and he looked worried and fuck, Ryan couldn't tell him what happened, he just couldn't.

"Bren, man, William Beckett is dead." Jon told him, his brown eyes locked on Brendon and filled with sadness. Ryan grimaced because one of the most heart breaking sights was a devestated Brendon Urie. If possible, Brendon took the news the hardest within their band. He found it hard to believe the older boy was dead, he kept repeating the same thing over and over again. "I just saw him last night."

William's death was considered as another victim of the serial killer who Ryan learned had now been dubbed 'The Scene Killer.' because that's who he targeted, scene kids and now Ryan was scared, the band's that scene kids worshipped.

Ryan stopped leaving the house, he only went out for shows and when that occured he was always surrounded by the strongest body gaurds money could buy, the same went for the rest of the band, whether they wanted it or not.

A month passed since William's death and a few more murders had occured. Ryan was desperate to get out of the city and he couldn't wait until the contracts the band was under to expire so they could all just fly back to Vegas, back home, all Ryan wanted to do was go home.

At least in the apartment he felt safe. He had been out picking up a few things with his body gaurd, whose name was Chad. Chad had brought Ryan back safely to the apartment and the boy sent the body gaurd home, with a promise to call him the next time he needed him.

Ryan thought it was strange that the lights in the apartment for the most part were out. The tv was on and that same stupid horror movie they had been watching nearly a month and half ago was on once again. Ryan ignored the movie and set his things on the kitchen table before he flicked the light on. All seemed normal in the apartment but it was too quiet...wasn't Brendon, Spencer, and Jon supposed to be home?

"Guys?" Ryan called. Silence was his only response, he thought that maybe the trio had decided to go out or something, he thought that they would call him first, or at least leave a damn note. Ryan was heading to his bedroom when he noticed that Jon's bedroom door was cracked open. Now Ryan knew Jon long enough to know that the older boy didn't like his door being open when he wasn't home.

Ryan moved to the door and peeked inside thinking that maybe Jon had stayed behind while Brendon and Spencer had gone out. Sure enough he saw Jon's form snuggled in his bed, the gray covers pulled up to his chin and his face oddly peaceful.

"Hey Jon, are Brendon and Spencer home? Or did they go out? And did they take body guard's? Cause it's dangerous out there." Ryan asked as he leaned against the doorframe. Jon didn't move or reply and Ryan hated the fact that Jon was such a heavy sleeper. Ryan moved to the bed intent on waking the older boy.

He reached out and prodded Jon in the side. Again the boy didn't move and Ryan sighed. "Time to wake up Jon." He said as he grabbed hold of the blanket and pulled it back, revealing Jon's body to Ryan. The next thing Ryan saw made his entire body freeze, his mind went blank and his legs shook desperatley.

Jon was in the bed laying like he would if he were sleeping, but Ryan knew he definitly wasn't sleeping. The sheets beneath the boy's body were stained a deep crimson red. A series of stab wounds covered Jon's torso, deep jagged cuts were visible through his long sleeved shirt. Jon's neck also had a wound, a long deep gash, his throat had been slit.

Ryan collasped to his knees and he seemed to tune back into his body because he could hear screaming and it didn't surprise him that it was coming from himself. Deep, ragged, heart breaking screaming that you only really heard in movies. The young boy was shaking so bad he couldn't do anything but sit there crying and shaking on the floor of Jon's bedroom.

His friend...his bandmate was dead and he couldn't believe it. Ryan would never hear Jon laugh again, would never make another starbucks run for the older boy, would never complain about the boy's flip-flop wearing habit.

Ryan didn't think twice about who could've done this, he already knew. It had to be the same person who killed William, it just had to be. He didn't know how that person knew where they lived and he was scared that the killer could still be in the apartment or worse, that he'd find Brendon and Spencer dead as well.

Ryan stood on shaky legs and stumbled out of the room. He moved down the hall toward Spencer's room. The door was closed but Ryan took no relief in that fact. He pushed the door open immdiently and burst into the room. He saw no one in the room and he was breathing heavy. Ryan proceeded to check under the bed, in the closet and the adjoining bathroom for any signs of a struggle or god forbid, his best friend's body.

He found none and he swallowed hard praying that Spencer and Brendon were alive and alright, praying that they had gone out and didn't know that any of this had happened. Ryan moved to Brendon's room and that door was shut as well. Ryan turned the doorknob and pushed the door open.

The first thing Ryan saw was Spencer on his knees on the hardwood floor of Brendon's bedroom. The boy was very much alive and his face held a terrified expression. Instantly Ryan rushed to Spencer's side, his large hands on Spencer's shaking shoulders. Ryan failed to notice that his best friends hands were bound behind his back.

"Spencer, are you okay? Oh god, what's going on? Where's Brendon? Spence, we gotta get out of here, Jon, fuck Spencer, Jon's dead!" Ryan had rushed these words out as he held his best friend who was now crying. Ryan attempted to pull his best friend up and leave the room, just get them out of the apartment, call the cops and get this all sorted out later.

"Ryan..." Spencer started and he was struggling to stand, his voice was rough and broken.

"What is it?"

"Brendon..." Spencer continued. Ryan's heart dropped to his feet.

"What about him Spence? Is...god, please don't tell me he's dead too." Ryan was crying out still trying to get Spencer to work with him.

"No, I'm still alive Ryan." Ryan heard the unmistakable voice of Brendon emitt from somewhere behind him. He turned lightning fast to see Brendon push the door closed, had he been there all along? Behind the door? Ryan heard the lock on the door click and he looked Brendon over, the lead singer was fine, nothing was wrong with him really, well except for a few long deep nail marks on his forearm. The same arm that bore his piano keys tattoo.

Ryan also noticed that Brendon was frowning and holding a gun. "God, Brendon, fuck come on! What are you guys doing! We've got to get out of here, get to the cops! That serial killer, he-he killed Jon! He could still be here somewhere so we've got to go!" Ryan was shouting at his two friends.

Spencer just shook and shuddered from his position on the floor and Brendon stood still, his back pressed against the bedroom door. It was then that Ryan knew something was wrong, something was seriously wrong.

"I know the killer's still in the house Ryan." Brendon's cool voice nearly whispered. It was then that Spencer spoke again.

"It was him...Ryan...Brendon...Brendon killed Jon." Spencer said and his voice was shaky and he was crying, his bangs fallen into his eyes and his shoulders hunched and trembling.

The news hit Ryan like a ton of bricks. No way, that couldn't be true, it just couldn't. Not Brendon, not cheery little Brendon. He wasn't a murderer, he didn't kill Jon. This was all some sick joke that the trio had decided to pull because Ryan had been so paranoid lately.

"We didn't expect you back so soon Ryan." Brendon said and he moved forward, his footsteps echoing heavily in the room. Ryan couldn't breath, couldn't think. He was looking up at Brendon from his position on the floor. That Brendon, the one he was looking at now, he wasn't the same. The look in the boy's eyes were too foreign, too strange, that wasn't Brendon.

"I was hoping to have it done by the time you got back." Brendon said as he moved passed the two boys and behind Spencer. Spencer let out a sob and Ryan shuddered as he realized that the 'it' Brendon was referring to was killing Spencer. Ryan was breathing heavily and he reached out and placed his hand on Spencer's side, his hand holding tight on to the fabric of Spencer's shirt.

"Brendon, what are you doing? This isn't you! You would never hurt anyone. Especially not us, especially not your friends!" Ryan shouted and he gave a little tug at Spencer who was completely terrified.

"Funny, that's the same thing William said before I strangled him." Brendon said and oh fuck was he grinning? No, this wasn't Brendon. Couldn't be the same person that Ryan had known for three years...it just couldn't be.

"Brendon, just-just calm down okay? Just let Spencer and I go...we won't tell anyone what happened...we'll just leave alright? No one will have to know." Ryan was bargining now because he couldn't let them die, he couldn't let themselves be killed by Brendon...fuck, not Brendon.

Brendon was staring at the two boys, a blank look upon his face. The look fell away as Brendon gave a slight smile, a kind of smile that froze Ryan to his core.

"Ryan, he killed Jon! He killed Jon right in front of me! He made me watch. He was begging Ryan...Jon was begging Brendon not to do it...begging him to not force me to watch. But he did-he did it anyway! He stabbed him so many times, he was screaming, he had to be in so much pain...and then he slit Jon's throat...he isn't Brendon...he's lost it Ryan! He's gone crazy or something." Spencer was sobbing out, his blue eyes were wide and watched Ryan's face.

Ryan was losing it too, he could feel it. He didn't know what had happened to Brendon but he knew what Spencer was saying was true, that the boy was right. That Brendon had obviously lost his fucking mind and was now killing his best friends.

"You're really being annoying Spencer." Brendon said, his voice stone cold. Ryan shuddered and Spencer let out a sob. Brendon lowered the black handgun he was holding, level with Spencer's head. The end of the gun pressed against Spencer's brown hair.

"Don't kill him Brendon! Please don't hurt him! He's my best friend...I love him! Please don't!" Ryan was begging, tears in his dark eyes. Brendon couldn't kill Spencer, he couldn't! There was no way...Ryan couldn't even begin to imagine a world where Spencer and Jon were dead and Brendon was a murderer.

"You loving him is the problem Ryan." Brendon said and Ryan saw a flash in his eyes. The next events happened too quickly for Ryan to really remember them. Ryan had cried out and thrusted himself at Spencer, attempting to knock the gun away from his best friend's head. Spencer had cried out Ryan's name and Brendon had pulled the trigger.

Ryan felt a sharp stinging unbelievable pain in his hand and his heart beat thumped too quick in his ears. He had falled back after the gun shot had sounded and he looked down at his stinging hand. A sick feeling washed over him. He had a wound in his hand, the bullet had gone right through, Ryan could fucking see through his own hand!

Suddenly he remembered what had just happend and Spencer passed through his mind. He shot up and looked at where his best friend had been kneeling moments before. Ryan's face crumpled and his heart felt like it had shattered as he saw Spencer slumped on his side on the floor. Laying in a way that no alive person could possibly manage.

Ryan's chest heaved and he was crying, not even daring to look at Brendon because he didn't want to see, he didn't want to know the Brendon that was able to do such things. He crawled over to Spencer's body and lifted him. "Spence?" He asked weakly, hoping, praying that Spencer had made it out alive.

His hopes were dashed as he saw a deep bullet hole through Spencer's head. Spencer's blue eyes were open and Ryan, crying tears down on to Spencer's face, closed his best friends eyelids. He was angry now. Ryan looked up at Brendon. The boy had been watching all along, face blank again and eyes just watching.

"Brendon, what the fuck happened to you? How could you do this? How could you kill them?" Ryan was screaming, his voice never sounding louder and his throat was raw.

How did any of this make sense? How could the same boy who loved Disney movies and Redbull and acted like a child most of the time kill his best friends? How did this happen? When did Brendon change? And more importantly what made him change?

"You Ryan, you happened to me! I loved you so fucking much! But you never returned the feelings! There was always girls, and boys, and the fans and Spencer and Jon! You never loved me the way you loved them." Brendon screamed at Ryan and the older boy was scared on the floor, scared of what would happen to himself. Would Brendon kill him? Kill him the way he killed William, Jon, and Spencer?

"Brendon, I never knew you loved me. You were my friend, I...I just though you were playing around." Ryan stuttered out and Brendon grimaced and looked down at the gun in his hand, the gun he had killed Spencer with. Ryan's hand stung horribly and he knew that he had lost a great deal of blood.

"Bren, I-I care about you...your my friend...it's not too late. We can get you help...you can be the old Brendon again...we can be okay." Ryan tried to tell Brendon. The older boy sat up on his knees and watched his friend, turned murderer intently.

Brendon shook his head. "No, I'm sorry Ryan...it's just too late for that. I can't ever go back...I can't ever be the same. I can never be the same person I was before...the only thing I can do is get rid of the things that make me bad...destory the things that make me kill...the things that changed me." Brendon told Ryan and Ryan's blood ran cold because he had a feeling that he wouldn't make it out alive.

Ryan stood on shaky legs. He tried not to look at Spencer's dead body or listen to the sound of his own blood hitting the wooden floor. He was going to make one last attempt at making it out alive. "Brendon." Ryan began as he took a few shaky steps forward, his mind dizzy.

"Please, you don't want to kill me. Leave me alive and you and I can be together...a couple like you want. We can be together and we'll love each other." Ryan said, his voice quivering and his heart breaking. Brendon didn't move and allowed Ryan to move forward and lean against him. Ryan was just praying, praying that even the tiniest bit of the old Brendon was still inside this new murderous Brendon.

There was a silence between the two boys, Ryan could hear his blood still dripping, his own harsh breathing, and Brendon's heart beating. Ryan felt Brendon's mouth move near his ear and Brendon whispered to the older boy.

"I'm so sorry Ryan." Brendon whispered and Ryan pulled back in time to see Brendon's brown eyes rimmed with tears and those words and the following gunshot was the last thing he'd ever hear. He hit the wooden floor hard and he could just make out Brendon's legs and he could see Spencer's body...he really hoped that Jon and Spencer and William would be waiting for him after he died.

Ryan's brown eyes closed and a deep eternal darkness overtook him.

The next day Pete and Patrick visited Brendon in the hospital. The young singers arm had been bandaged up and placed in a sling, due to a gunshot he had recieved from the 'Scene Killer'. As far as the doctor's and the general public were concerned, Brendon had recieved the wound when the killer broke into the apartment, killed Jon, Spencer, Ryan, and had tried to kill Brendon himself.

Pete brushed a hand through Brendon's hair and told the young boy that he was going to stay with Patrick and himself in Pete's place in L.A. Brendon smiled and nodded because after all he was damaged, he was the boy who had nearly been killed and had witnessed his best friends murders.

Jon's funeral was today but Brendon wasn't going, he blamed his arm. Spencer and Ryan's funerals would be held the next day...he thinks that he might have to go to those one's. Just to keep up apperances. Pete and Patrick left to go to the funeral with the promise that they'd return after to take Brendon home with them.

When Brendon got to Pete's place, he settled down on to the couch with Pete next to him. The older man had turned on the tv and rolled his eyes as he saw a lame horror movie was on. "You feel like watching this Bren?" Pete asked, his eyes carefully watching Brendon.

Brendon shook his head. "Nah, I don't really like horror movies." He said with a slight yawn.

"Oh? Why not?" Pete asked as he kicked off his sneakers.

"The movies are too predictable. The killers are always the nice guys." Brendon told him and Pete laughed a little, oblivious at the deeper meaning behind Brendon's words.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He replied.

"And no one ever suspects the nice guy." Brendon finished, but the boy knew that Pete would learn the truth to that statement soon enough.


I is for Invisible:

Spencer Smith never believed in making wishes, wishes were things children made, impossiblities that only came true in Disney movies. Making wishes was more of a Brendon Urie kind of thing. In fact, it was a well known nightly ritual that Brendon made wishes each night at 11:11. It didn't matter where he was, be it on a tour bus or at Pete's bar, Brendon would find time to make a wish.

Spencer usually ignores these times but lately it's been iritating, because lately Brendon has been trying to get the others in on the action. He's already succeeded in converting Jon and Pete and hell, Spencer even caught Ryan glancing at the clock, three minutes from 11:11.

"Spencer, please wish with me!" Brendon whines, he's looking back at the digital clock on the vcr. Spencer shakes his head and crosses his arms.

"No, no way." Spencer tells the older boy. Brendon pulls his classic pouting face but Spencer believes he has built up a firm resistance to the face. Brendon tries to lure Spencer into wishing several more times but finally caves when it's only one minute to wishing time.

"Fine, but you're missing out." Brendon says simply and moves into the living area of the living room. Spencer stays stationed in the kitchen, not paticularly wanting to witness the act of Brendon wishing his little heart out for god knows what.

"Hmm what should I wish for tonight?" Spencer hears Brendon saying and his voice is just loud enough that Spencer knows Brendon is doing it on purpose, trying to goad Spencer into joining him. "Ah, I know." Brendon says after a moment and Spencer can almost see the cheesy grin on his face. "I wish that Spencer would make 11:11 wishes with me." Brendon says and Spencer shakes his head.

"It's no use wishing Brendon, it won't come true." Spencer tells him as he stands from the kitchen and moves back to the bunks. He passes Brendon on the way, the dark haired boy watching him intently.

Two nights pass with Brendon not bothering Spencer with the whole wishing business, Spencer is relieved. But on the third night Spencer thinks that Brendon must've gotten bored because the older boy comes to find Spencer in the lounge. The younger boy just wants to be left alone to watch his precious TV drama's but he supposes that will never happen with Brendon around.

"Spencer?" Brendon starts as he plops down on the worn couch next to Spencer.

"Hmm?" the younger boy responds, trying hard not to take his eyes off the screen, he doesn't want to miss what Juliet will say to Parker.

"Will you please wish with me tonight?" Brendon asks, his voice tiny and nearly childlike. He drops himself against Spencer's side, his head coming to snuggle against Spencer's arm. Spencer spares the other boy a glance and rolls his eyes.

"Why are you so adament about this Bren?" Spencer asks and Brendon gives him a wide eyed innocent stare, not the kind of stare a twenty-one year old boy should be able to pull off.

"I just think that everyone needs to wish once in a while." He anwsers and his voice is a little quieter, a little more serious. Spencer sighs finally worn down by the hyper boy.

"Alright, alright. I'll wish with you tonight." Spencer tells him and Brendon's face lights up with a huge grin, the kind of grin that Brendon's face is made for.

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

Brendon comes to find Spencer three minutes from wishing time. He peeks his dark head into Spencer's bunk and smiles at him. "Wishing time!" He proclaims and he puts out his hand for Spencer to take. Spencer sighs and climbs out of the bunk without the aide of Brendon's hand. Ryan is peering out at Spencer from his own bunk, an open book in his hands. Spencer flashed him a It's-A-Brendon-Thing, kind of look and Ryan nods before he returnes his attention back to the book.

Spencer stands in the lounge and watches as Brendon drops to his knees, his back facing Spencer. The older boy bows his head like he's going to pray except he doesn't. Spencer's just a little thrown off by the sight of Brendon on his knees but he pushes that thought away and follows suit, dropping to his knees beside the singer. Brendon glances at him with a smile.

Spencer watches the clock, waiting for the green illuminating numbers change over to double eleven. While he's waiting he tries to think of what he's going to wish for. It doesn't really matter, it won't come true but still it feels like he should think of a good one. He watches Brendon out of the corner of his eye the boy seems to be thinking too and he's smiling again. He is really into wishing.

The clock changes over and Brendon grins wide and closes his dark brown eyes as he makes his wish. Spencer closes his own eyes and still tries to think of a proper wish. It comes into his mind suddenly and Spencer has his wish. 'I wish that Brendon won't bother me.' That's what he wishes for and maybe it sounds mean but it's kind of what he wants.

After the wishing time is over Brendon opens his eyes and grins at Spencer, he propells himself at the younger boy, knocking him over in a tight hug. Spencer sighs, because nope, his wish didn't work.

He goes to sleep soon after he and Brendon wish. Forgetting about the wish completely. In the morning Spencer is awakened to the worried voices of his bandmates.

"Where is he? He couldn't have gotten off the bus!" That was Ryan's voice, sounding more worried than Spencer's heard in a long while. He wonders who they're talking about.

"True, the bus didn't stop once." Jon says and he doesn't sound as worried as Ryan but still Spencer can detect a tense strain in his usually calm voice.

"What if it did though! And what if he got off the bus and got left behind?" That was Brendon, out of all three of them he sounds the most scared.

"Brendon, how is that even possible?" Ryan asks, voice changing from worried to annoyed.

"I dunno! Sleepwalking or something!" He insists, Jon barely manages to hold in a snort of laughter.

"Jon, it's not funny! Spencer is missing!" Brendon cries and Spencer sits up because what? He wasn't missing, he was right there on the bus, two feet away from them. The supposedly missing Spencer sits up and rubs his eyes, he's too tired to deal with the paranoia of his bandmates but he thinks he better tell them that he is in fact on the bus and not lost at some gas station south of nowhere.

Spencer pads out from the bunk area to the lounge where he see's his three fellow bandmates standing, worried looks on their faces. Spencer thinks that one of them should see him by now, it looks like Brendon is looking right at him.

"We should call him." Ryan says as if the idea just occured to him.

"You don't have to do that Ryan, I'm right here." Spencer says and he's smiling, the smile fades when he sees the wild expressions on his bandmates faces.

"Did you guys just hear that?" Jon asks and the other two nod but still look frightened. Jon looks relieved. "Good, I thought I had smoked too much weed or something." the boy says.

"you guys, why are you freaking? I'm right here." Spencer tells his friends and again they look around scared.

"spence, where are you?" Ryan is asking, his voice is small and careful. Spencer pulls a face.

"I'm right here Ryan. right in front of you." Spencer states, very matter of factly. to prove his point he reaches out and touches his bestfriend on the shoulder. Ryan jumps like it's the last thing in the world he's expecting and now Brendon and Jon are giving him weird looks. "why are you jumping all I did was touch you." Spencer tells his friend and Ryan is gawking at him.

"Spencer...we can't...I mean..." Ryan can't seem to get his words out and Spencer knows that isn't a good thing.

"we can't see you." Jon says and Spencer scoffs.

"what do you mean? I'm right here!" Spencer says sounding annoyed and he raises his arms in the air, it's around that time that he notices that he can't see his own pale arms. Spencer stops and raises his hand in front of his face, he knows his hand is there but the problem is he can't see it. he waves his hand in front of his face a few more times and even touches his cheek to prove that it's there but he can't see it, Spencer can't see his own hand.

"oh my god! Spencer is stuck in some crazy ass twilight zone alternate dimension!" Brendon cries and Spencer knows the boy is completely serious, it would be funny if Spencer wasn't freaking the fuck out.

the seemingly invisible boy whirls around and races back to the bathroom, to the only place with a mirror on the bus. he stops in front of the mirror, his bandmates not following because, they probably don't even know that he left.

Spencer is scared to look in the mirror, he knows he needs to look because he needs to know that he's visible but he's scared, what if he can't see himself? the brown haired boy lift's his head slowly and peers into the dirty mirror, his heart drops to his feet as he realizes he can't see anything besides the cylinder shaped shower behind him.

"oh, god." Spencer says and it must've been loud because he can hear Jon talking.

"guys! he's in the bathroom!" the older boy says and Spencer hears three sets of footsteps coming towards him. he can see them, standing worried in the doorway. Ryan is looking all around desperate to pin point where his best friend is, Brendon looks like he might cry, and Jon well Spencer thinks that Jon finds this all just a tad bit entertaining.

"I'm invisible..." Spencer says and his voice is flat and monotone, nearly the same as Ryan's. instantly Ryan's eyes drop to Spencer's face, the boy only knows it's there because of Spencer's voice.

"how? how does this happen?" Spencer is asking and no one is saying anything, because really, what is there to say?

"I-I dunno..." Ryan says and Spencer curses because Ryan was always bad at comforting people.

"have you pissed off any voo-doo practicers lately?" Jon asks and Spencer has to will himself not to slap Jon because it would be way too easy. Brendon's still being quiet and Spencer thinks that's strange, Brendon's never strange even in these kinds of situations.

"Spencer.." Ryan starts and his eyes are moving because he's seem to lost where he thinks Spencer is. "fuck, I can't do this! Spencer give me your hand!" Ryan demands and it's the kind of thing Spencer can't refuse from his best friend. he reaches out, brushes past Jon and Brendon who both jump a bit and places his fingertips on Ryan's arm.

the older boy instantly reaches with his other hand and snaps Spencer's wrist into a tight grasp. Spencer thinks it's only because Ryan's scared, Spencer is the one thing Ryan never wants to lose and if he can't see him, it feels like he's already lost him. now that Ryan has a hold of Spencer he seems calmer, as if he can now handle the situation.

"it will be okay Spencer, we'll-we'll figure this out." Ryan is telling him, his free hand patting the invisible boy's arm. Spencer nods even though no one can see him, he's quickly realizing that he'll have to express himself purely by speech. that makes him mad because now he can't glare at anyone.

it's an hour later and Spencer is still invisible. he's currently sitting on the lounge couch, Ryan still clutching on to his hand, their fingers laced together. Brendon is staring at their hands, Spencer thinks it's because of how strange Ryan's hand looks alone. the usually hyper boy is still being quiet, Spencer still thinks it's strange. Jon, well Jon has taken to calling everyone they know and informing them that Spencer has gone invisible.

Spencer wants Ryan to let go of his hand so he can sneak up and attack Jon.

but seriously what can Spencer do? nothing, he doesn't have a bit of an idea as to how he turned invisible and now he's worried. what are they gonna do about shows? how can they explain that Spencer is just missing? it's been an hour and no one's figured out anything yet.

it takes fifteen minutes until someone does have an idea, but it's not a very good one.

"come on Spencer! I need to know where you are and I don't wanna hold on to you all day!" Ryan is insisting and Spencer is shaking his head, forgetting that he can't be seen.

"no way Ryan!"

"Spencer!" Ryan is using his threathing voice and Spencer is tempted to push the older boy away and make a sprint somewhere, then at least Ryan wouldn't be able to find him.

"it's a good idea!" the boy says and Spencer scoffs, he still misses his glares.

the good idea that Ryan has is spreading a sort of baby powder, lotion, water combo that is sitting in a pasty mess in a pink bowl that Brendon is currently holding. "it's gonna be gross!" Spencer cries and he tries to pull away from Ryan but the thin boy's grip tightens.

"we need to do it." Spencer sometimes forgets that Ryan can be scary when he's demanding. he sighs and resigns himself to be covered in the paste. it's five minutes later that the youngest boy is covered head to toe in the paste, even his hair, which is disgusting! they also give Spencer some sunglasses because Ryan thinks it's fucking creepy that the boy's eyes are invisible too.

at least Spencer can see his own body now, even if it is oddly white.

the paste method only lasts a day because for one Spencer can't handle the feeling of tight drying paste on his skin, and two he really needs to go out in public.

Ryan's method for when they're travling out in public is to have Spencer hold on to his coat's sleeve. it's a little weird but it means that they don't lose Spencer. Brendon does eventually begin talking to Spencer again. Spencer notices that Brendon didn't make a wish last night.

Spencer is thinking of wishes as he lays in his bunk and suddenly it all dawns on him, like he's been struck with a bolt of lightining. he shoots up and races out of the bunk, his bandmates not noticing him. "you guys!" he calls. "you guys! I know what happened!" Spencer is calling out and within moments his three bandmates are in the lounge with Spencer, waiting to hear what the invisible boy has to say.

"what is it spence?" Ryan is asking. "what happened?"

"it was the wish!" Spencer cries and he see's Brendon flinch but he blows it off and continues.

"say what?" Jon asks and Spencer blows him off too.

"two nights ago, Brendon asked me to wish with him and I did...that wish...that was what made me invisible!" Spencer is saying as quickly as he can because all the pieces are falling into place for him and he curses that fact that he ever let Brendon talk him into making fucking wishes.

"you wished to be invisible?" Jon asks.

"no, I wished-" he stops himself and looks at Brendon. if he says what he wished for it would no doubt hurt the older boy but...he kind of had no choice. "I wished that Brendon wouldn't bother me..." Spencer says and sure enough Brendon pulls a hurt face.

"I wished to be left alone and my wish got granted..."

"yeah, in the most ass backwards way possible!" Jon adds and Ryan is nodding. Brendon is looking at his feet, a sadness in his eyes.

"Brendon, I'm sorry." Spencer starts because he really didn't want to hurt Brendon's feelings. the older black haired boy lift's his head and looks at Spencer.

"no, I'm sorry Spencer!" Brendon says and his brown eyes are wide. "it's my fault that you're invisible! that night you wished with me...the wish I made...I-I wished..."

"what did you wish for Brendon?" Ryan asks and Brendon glances at him before he looks back at Spencer.

"I wished that Spencer's wish would come true." Brendon tells them and he sounds guilty but Spencer doesn't really blame him. after all how was Brendon supposed to know that Spencer would wish to be left alone?

"I'm so sorry Spencer!" Brendon says and he rushes forward to hug Spencer, he misjudges horribly and ends up crashing into the wall. Spencer ends up letting Brendon hug him extra long that night.

it's two days later and Spencer really wants to be visible again. the internet is already ablazed with 'hey where the hell is Spencer?' questions and rumors that he left the band. Brendon is nearly constantly apologizing to him and Ryan constantly clinging to him to make sure he's actually there. Spencer is thinking that this is the opposite of his wish.

the band ends up at a hotel and Spencer is glad to be off the bus but he laments the fact that Ryan doesn't want to let him out of his sight. it's only natural that Ryan picks to room with Spencer. Spencer is stuck to Ryan's side until the older boy falls asleep and Spencer gets up off the bed and slinks out the door.

despite being invisble Spencer has never felt more visible, more aware of how he has no alone time. whoever grants the wishes of the universe seriously fucked up because this is not what Spencer wanted. he's glad to finally be away from Ryan but he really wants to be visible again, that's why he's going to see Brendon.

Spencer had an idea about an hour ago. he thinks that if he and Brendon wish again then the whole thing can be reversed, after all neither of them has wished since the night Spencer went invisible so, Spencer figures it's worth a shot. the invisible boy walks down to Brendon and Jon's room, intent on speaking with the black haired boy.

Spencer is surprised to find that their hotel room door is unlocked. he let's himself in and finds that Brendon isn't in the front rooms. it's kinda late so he figures that maybe Brendon went to sleep and Jon went out. the invisible Spencer moves back to the hotel room's bedroom, finding that this door too is cracked open. the boy is about to go into the room when he hears Brendon.

the younger boy peeks through the crack in the door, he can see Brendon on the bed. he's sitting on the edge of the red silked sheeted bed, naked and jacking off. Spencer knows he shouldn't be watching but he can't pull himself away. the way Brendon looks right now, it's too beautiful to look away.

the older boy's head is thrown back, exposing his long neck. his brown eyes are screwed shut and his mouth is open as he releases a deep moan. it's obvious that he doesn't know Spencer is there, it's not like he can see him. Brendon's hand moves quick over his long, hard cock.

Spencer's own cock twitches in response and he subconciously presses himself against the doorframe, rubbing his hardening erection against the smooth wood.

Brendon is releasing breathy moans and sighs, the only kinds of sounds he hears when Brendon is singing. Spencer covers his own mouth so Brendon won't hear his moans, he's never really thought about Brendon this way before, okay, that's a lie but still Spencer never knew he wanted to see this so badly.

"ah, yes, that's it! that's it...please, Spencer!" Brendon cries out and Spencer freezes, did Brendon just call out for Spencer? did that really happen? or was it just some really sexy figment of Spencer's imagination? Spencer knows it's real when Brendon says his name again.

Spencer sneeks a hand down his pants and squeezes his cock, biting his hand to stop his moaning from escaping his lips. Brendon's working his cock over quickly, occasionally calling out Spencer's name and the younger boy is so fucking tempted to bust into the room and sink his mouth down over Brendon's cock and let Brendon skull-fuck him.

he doesn't but he watches as Brendon comes, crying out Spencer's name. the older boy flops back on the bed and closes his eyes. Spencer pulls his hand out of his pants, he's still hard as fuck but he still needs to talk to Brendon.

"Brendon." Spencer says and the older boy shoots up and looks around, scrambling to cover his naked body.

"Spencer? how long...when did you? we're you watching me?" Brendon squeakes out, his whole body going a flushed pink and he's still looking around wildly for Spencer. this is a time when Spencer is actually glad that he is invisible. the younger boy leans in and kisses Brendon, silencing whatever the other boy was going to say.

Brendon is frozen but kisses back, his shaky hands find Spencer's invisible body and cling to him. Spencer finds his way onto Brendon's lap, his hard cock rubbing against Brendon's legs. Spencer doesn't know how far they can go with him invisible but he's willing to find out.

an hour later Brendon and Spencer are laying in Brendon's bed, nude bodies pressed together. Brendon's head is on Spencer's chest and he thinks it's funny that it looks like he's floating. Spencer kisses Brendon's head and whispers into his ear.

"we need to wish again."

Brendon looks up at him.

"we need to wish for me to be visible and it will happen." Spencer reassures him. he doesn't know how he knows it will work, he just does. Brendon sits up and looks at the clock.

"it's 11:10." he tells Spencer and he's smiling, Spencer smiles too but Brendon can't see so instead he lift's a hand and brushes back Brendon's hair.

"we have great timing." Spencer tells him and Brendon laughs. at 11:11 the two boys wish.

"I wish I could see you Spencer." Brendon says and he's staring down at Spencer, only knowing where he is because of the hand cupping his cheek.

"I wish I could be seen by you Brendon." Spencer replies.

the two boys fall asleep after that and in the morning Spencer is greeted by two of his bandmates peering down at him. he blinks the sleep from his eyes and suddenly he remembers the wish they made last night and he shoots up, the blanket falling from his naked body.

"did it work? can you see me?" Spencer asks and slowly Ryan and Jon nod.

"I'm seeing more of you then I've ever wanted." Jon tells him and Spencer looks down to see his own pink fleshy body in all it's nude glory. he's never minded being naked more then this moment.

Brendon comes out from one of the other rooms and he's dressed but he's smiling at Spencer. the boy comes and settles down next to Spencer, resting his head on the nude boy's shoulder.

"good to see you Spencer." he whispers into the boys ear.

"good to be seen." he anwsers and Spencer kinda knows without having to ask that Brendon won't be making wishes anymore, because he's already got everything he's been wishing for.


J is for Join

Jon Walker likes his job at starbucks. He knows it isn't the most glamourous job in the world but he enjoys it all the same. He likes the smell of coffee for one, and he likes the tips he gets on a daily basis, Jon also likes talking to people as they wait for their coffee.

Jon is most definitly a people person.

The boy even has favorite customers, regulars as he likes to refer to them. His favorite of the regulars is a cheery young boy named Brendon. The boy comes in at the same time everyday and orders the same kind of ultra-sweet, ultra sugary coffee.

Brendon likes to chat with Jon while he's in the store. He usually sits at one of stools against the counter and swings his long legs around as Jon cleans and takes orders. The boy likes to talk, a lot but Jon doesn't mind because he happens to like listening as well.

Today is no different, with Brendon strolling into the coffee shop at three in the afternoon. Jon's face light's up as he spots the younger boy. "Hi Jon!" Brendon calls as he practically skips to the counter.

"hey, bren." Jon laughs at the constantly hyper twenty something boy. "you want the usual?" Jon is asking, already grabbing the cup in anticipation of Brendon's anwser. the black haired boy nods.

"yeah, you know I need my fix jwalk, but I also happen to have important business today." Brendon points out and he lifts the white circular sunglasses from his face and eyes Jon.

"ah, hot date?" Jon asks as he turns to the coffee machine. he hopes it doesn't come off sounding jealous, even though he does flirt with Brendon on occasion.

"well, I'm hoping." Brendon says and his voice is kinda low, like he's attempting to be seductive. Jon turns back around and sets the coffee back down. Brendon is smiling at him as he not so subtly slides his fingers up Jon's arm.

Jon looks down in surprise, he's never know Brendon to be so forward, he should expect it but maybe he hadn't wanted to get his hopes up. "you asking me out bden?" the older boy says, he makes it a point to use his nickname for Brendon.

Brendon nods. "that's exactly what I'm doing." the younger boy is insanely impulsive and pretty blunt, Jon respects that.

Jon agrees to go on a date with Brendon later that night, after his shift at the starbucks is over. Brendon had suggested them meeting at a small diner that Jon knew of vaugely. the older boy is at home, getting ready to leave to meet Brendon. he moves through his nice apartment, his two cats; clover and dylan skittering along beside him.

Jon gets to the diner five minutes late due to him not knowing the area very well. he thinks the diner looks like one of those places in movies, a place where a character goes to hide. the diner is run down and out by itself in a patch of green earth.

the boy spots Brendon's yellow car in the parking lot and he knows that he's in the right place. the inside of the diner isn't much better and Jon wouldn't be surprised if an old woman named mable was their waitress.

his eyes scan the resturant and he see's Brendon in a booth in the far back of the resturant. Brendon spots him and waves, a bright smile on his face.
Comments (0)