Saturday, February 7, 2009

song
nobody puts baby in the corner

"come on brendon." jon says and he pulls brendon along behind him.

"i'm sorry, i'm not as fast as you jon." brendon says but it's hard to hear him over the sound of the car's flying by under them. jon peers back at brendon.

"someday you'll be, when you get older." he tells the young teen. brendon smiles and his hand tightens around jon's. the two boys are half running half jogging along the top of a dark bridge, one that overlooks the high way. "okay, we're here." jon says and he stops moving and brendon bumps into him.

jon releases brendon's hand and turns looking out at the wave of cars that pass by them, the white hot lights almost hitting them but never quite reaching them. it's late at night and really brendon should be home and asleep by now, he does have school in the morning. but he's more than glad to give up sleep if he get's to spend time with jon.

jon looks over at him "beautiful right?" he says and brendon nods. "this place is a secret okay? so you can't show anyone else....i've been coming here since i was younger than you are now...it's special." jon tells him and brendon's heart is swelling because jon thinks he's special enough to show this place to, jon's secret place.

"i would never...i want this place to be our secret...our best kept secret...just you and me jon.." brendon whispers and he leans in closer to jon and the older boy finds his hand in the darkness, the sound of car's rushing through the night surrounds them as jon kisses his younger boyfriend.



high hopes and velvet ropes

jon left spencer's hotel room at five in the morning. he was quiet as he dressed and left the room, letting the door click closed softly behind him. he was feeling bad, but only a bit. he and spencer had crossed a line that night, jon tried to tell spencer this as they were kissing in the elevator.

"jon, it's only a line if it get's crossed." was his reasoning and jon wasn't sure what that meant, he felt like that was something that ryan would say. so the older boy let spencer have his reasons and he went along with whatever the younger boy wanted, he was never good at saying no.

but now things were weird, he knew they were. he wondered if he could pretend with the younger boy. he didn't want a relationship, he had cassie for that. jon wondered if he was used? if spencer only wanted sex? it had seemed like the younger boy had seduced him and now it didn't matter what he did, that's why he left without saying goodbye. he knew spencer was awake and he left all the same.



no sleep

ryan stopped talking to jon three days ago, three days ago when the older boy kissed spencer in front of him. sure, he could say the kiss was innocent but still jon could've told spencer no, he had that ability.

ryan didn't want to be alone as of late so he had called on brendon to stay with him until his broken heart was healed. brendon was a good distraction most of the time, hyper enough to keep ryan busy and talkative enough to not allow him to think of jon. the only downfall was that brendon couldn't stay awake past one in the morning.

it was currently three fourty-five and ryan was awake, alone, and thinking of jon walker. ryan misses the older boy terribly and he wants to be mad at him but he's finding it hard to do so.

it's at three fifty that ryan hears a tapping on his bedroom window. he gets up and moves over to it, peering through the shiny glass and down into the yard. he can make out a figure standing in his yard, drenched in the moonlight. ryan see's the figure lift it's arm and appear to throw something and ryan see's a small rock hit his window.

"hey, stop throwing rocks before you break my window!" ryan says as he lifts his window and sticks his head out.

"sorry, ryan." jon's smooth voice rises to ryan's ears and he's surprised.

"jon?"

"that would be me."

"what are you doing here?"

"i came to apologize."

"by using an old movie cliche?"

"you like old movie cliche's ryan." jon reminds him and the younger boy rolls his eyes even though it's the truth.

"that doesn't mean i'll forgive you."

"what if i tell you i got a boombox that i am prepared to hold over my head like in say anything?"

"prove it." ryan dares and he see's jon's figure disapper before he returns with a boombox held high over his head.

"see?" he says and ryan laughs.

"you're an idiot walker." he says

"but i want to be your idiot...your's and your's alone." he tells ryan and there is no way after these cliched acts that ryan can possibly turn jon down. he sighs and looks down at the older boy.

"go to the door, i'll let you in."




Shady Business

"So, you wanna be in Panic now?" Pete is asking as he takes a seat in a little swivel chair in his office.

"Uh, yeah." Jon starts, he's standing by the door unsure of what to do. He scratches at his arm and wait's for Pete to make the first move. "The others, they told me to talk to you first." Jon adds because it's the truth.

Pete laughs and it's a shade darker than his normal laugh. "It's cause they already know what to do." he states and Jon's still confused. "To get what they want." Pete adds and he turns in his chair suddenly, his jean clad legs spread open and his hand is on his thigh. "They know how to get the job done." He whispers and Jon's mouth goes dry.

five minutes later Jon is on his knees in front of Pete, mouth somewhere Jon never thought it would be. And Pete's hand's are tangled in Jon's hair. He's looking down and petting him. Whispering hotly into his ear.

"I never promised that the business wouldn't be shady."




Song in my head

There's a song in Jon's head. One that he hears everytime he see's William Beckett. It's a song he doesn't know, he doesn't even know if it really exists but he hears it.

William smiles at him between songs , when's he's dripping with sweat and his shirt clings to his body. He smiles at Jon before he runs back out to sing 'Checkmarks.' Even though William is singing to an audience of hundreds Jon can't see them, the audience might as well be dead because all he can see is the boy in front of him.

And he can hear the song of course. Jon hears the song the first time he kisses William against the Academy tour bus. He hears it the first time they have sex and maybe it's kind of hard to hear it because it's clashing with Williams moans, but Jon kind of doesn't mind.

Years later when Jon is in Panic and they're recording their third album Jon is just fiddiling with a guitar. He strums out some tune, he doesn't even know what it is at first. It doesn't sink in until later, until after Ryan hears the tune and likes it. It's then that Jon realizes that It 's the song he hears when he thinks of William.

It's William's song and it ends up on the cd and now William and the world and even Jon can sing along.



Love Me Dead

Jon sort of loves Gabe saporta. He loves him almost as much as he hates him.

He knows that Gabe has a million or so good qualities but on the same token he has a million or so bad qualities to match.

Their laying in bed together when Gabe sits up and kisses him, moves to get dressed. He's leaving but Jon sort of doesn't want him to go. And maybe Jon says this outloud. Gabe just turns and smiles as he pulls his t-shirt down.

"Other places to go, other people to see." Gabe says and he gets up and buttons up his pants. Jon flops back on the bed and says loud enough for Gabe to hear.

"You fucking love me dead." Gabe laughs but it's the truth.

Jon both hates and loves the other boy. Their love is cancerous. At any one point he can ramble off a string of compliments about Gabe but that same night Gabe will call him up drunk and Jon will have a string of insults on his tongue.

Jon just keeps going along with it though. Gabe loves him and he loves the boy back, it's just a fucked up kind of love. one where they wear each other down to bones in bed and maybe Jon calls Gabe a jackel and Gabe will just say that Jon's beautiful and kiss him once before he goes to meet his other boy.

Maybe Jon will lean against the wall and not mind so much that Gabe is loving him to death.




All coming back to me now

Jon's laying in bed and he's talking to Patrick on the phone. Well, he was talking to the boy but now the singer is asleep. He can hear Patrick's shallow breathing on the other end, quiet and even.

It's times like this that Jon really fucking hates the 'just friends' rule. He misses Patrick's breathing right next to him.

They broke up sometime two years ago and it was a paticularly bad break up. Jon and Patrick ended up just being friends and the bassist pushed every memory he had of their relationship away. But now that they were close again it was harder, harder to pretend.

Patrick and Jon end up in the same city a few weeks later and they meet up to hang out. 'just hang out' Jon tells himself as he meet's Patrick in the lobby of Fall Out Boy's hotel.

He and Patrick go out for drinks but Jon doesn't get drunk because he doesn't want to risk doing something fucking stupid.

They end up in Patrick's hotel room all the same though. And their laying next to each other and talking about music and bandmates and whatever else is on Patricks mind.

It's kind of an accident when Jon reaches out and strokes Patrick's cheek. At least that's what he'll tell himself later. Patrick freezes up but he let's him stroke the smooth skin of his face. Jon turns on his side to face his ex, his friend.

"Jon." Patrick says and it kind of sounds like a warning but he doesn't ask him to stop and he doesn't. Now that he's touching Patrick, now that he has his hand's on him. It's like everything is coming back to him. Every other moment like this and the ones that were greater than this.

Jon only hesistates a moment before he leans in and kisses Patrick and the older boy doesn't stop it.

Now it is all coming back to Jon, everything he pushed away flooding in an tourent through his body. Patrick's hand's are on him and their breath is mingling together. Their whispering and the past is colliding with the present and it's almost too much but it's not enough.

They've forgiven each other by the end of the night. Everything is forgiven and forgotten and Jon smiles as he hears an even soft breathing behind him and a soft hand on his waist.



Bang The Doldrums

Jon Walker wakes up and notices that he was sleeping on the hotel floor for one. And for two he had a note written in what looked like eyeliner on his arm. It was simple, all it said was 'goodbye.'

Jon stumbles around trying to work off his hangover and he pulls his clothes on. He doesn't even know if he should be here, this isn't his hotel room after all.

He leaves the hotel, only stumbling a little and he hails a yellow checkered cab. The night air feels good around him and fuck, he must've passed out early if it's not morning yet.

He tells the cab driver to take him back to the hotel where he's staying. Jon watches the city move around him and it's like there's a spell cast over him. He can't stop thinking about Gerard.

They used to be friends, you end up friend's with everyone when you know Pete Wentz. The point is they used to be friends, just like they used to be lovers. It's too fine a line and a very dangerous one but he and Gerard crossed it.

That was a year ago and they've been broken up since then.

But recently Panic decided it would be fun to hang around with My Chemical Romance so he and Gerard are suddenly pushed together once again. They're both grown men so they try to go ahead and be friend's again but it's hard. Little flashes of jealousy pump through Jon when he see's Gerard dancing with Brendon and he's sure friends aren't supposed to get jealous like that. He also doesn't miss the grimace Gerard had on his face when Frank sat on Jon's lap.

Either way more drinks were consumed which wasn't the greatest of ideas and Jon went to the bathroom and Gerard followed him.

Yes, there may have been some drunken sloppy making out in said bathroom but that was hardly Jon's fault.

Gerard was the one who suggested the hotel, he was the one who hailed the first checkered cab of the evening and he was the one who pushed Jon down on the bed.

Jon didn't know where Gerard was at the moment. Hopefully with Mikey or Bob or someone who could take care of him. Jon was sure this little story would get passed around quickly enough, just like he was sure he'd be getting dirty look's from Spencer and Ryan in the morning.

Jon gets out the cab and ambles his way up to the elevator, pushes the number for his floor and feels around for his keycard. He's most definitly not thinking about the way he and Gerard used to be best friends, nope, he is not thinking about how their ex-friends now. And he is most certainly not thinking about how they're better off as lovers and not the other way around.

The clock in the hallway catches Jon's eye and it's a little after Four fifteen in the morning. He's going to go to sleep. He's not going to think or dream about Gerard. He's also not going to think about how the My Chemical Romance bus is leaving at six in the morning or how he won't be awake to say goodbye.



a thousand words

Jon Walker isn't a writer. He can spout an occasional line or two every now and then and Ryan will nod approvingly and write them down but he is not a writer. He never really thought that Travis McCoy was a writer either, but that was before he got a letter from the boy.

Jon and Travis were secretly dating for a little over two years now but it wasn't easy. The two of them are fighting lately and Jon doesn't quite know what to do.

He knows Travis is hiding things. He's been using his words to shelter Jon from the truth, good thing Jon's practiced with Ryan, the younger boy used to do the same thing. So Travis's words can't fool Jon that easily.

They get in a fight and Jon starts acting distant to his older boyfriend. He doesn't even say goodbye to Travis before The older man leaves for tour, he just sits in the kitchen and listens.

Spencer suppects that Travis might have a drug problem. Jon's heart sinks to his feet because it's what he's always been afraid of, of Travis relasping. He calls Travis late at night when he knows the older boy is awake, and surprisingly Travis anwsers.

"You fight your battles far from me...far too easily." Jon whispers to him and Travis doesn't get it but Jon doesn't expect him to. It's one of those moments where he is a writer, a split second writer.

Jon and Travis hang up and Jon is thinking back to the day Travis left, about when he was in the kitchen, listening.

"Save your tears cause I'll come back." He heard Travis say right before he walked out the door. Jon jumped out of his seat, he wanted to follow Travis, wanted to stop him from leaving. Jon thought shouting might have been the anwser, or he could cry his brown eyes out and beg his boyfriend not to depart.

Jon isn't a writer but he still writes Travis a letter. It's long and Spencer jokes that it look's like it's a thousand words. Jon writes things that he knows will comfort Travis, things that will remind him of home. Jon wants his words to wrap around Travis and keep him safe, carry him home, bring him back to Jon.

These thousand word's that Jon could never quite say when Travis was around but now that he's gone they pour out of him like they've been there all along and maybe they have.

Travis calls Jon three days later and says he got the letter.

"It makes all these months feel like only days." Travis says and Jon smiles against the phone.

"I love you." Jon tells him and Travis laughs just a tiny bit, something he does whenever Jon says that to him. He doesn't mean anything by it, he laughs because he's happy.

"I'm going to keep this letter forever." Travis tells him and Jon notes how his voice sounds so clear, clearer than it's been in a long time.

"I want you to." Jon tells him and Travis says he loves him and that he'll be home soon.

Jon lays in the bed and sleeps holding on to Travis's pillow.

Jon Walker isn't a writer, but for Travis, he could be.




When i get home your so dead.

"Did you know that you were the first when they asked for the worst?" Joe Trohman mutters out.

"I was?" Jon mumbles against the skin of his neck and Joe nods. "That sounds more like a Pete line." Jon's breath ghosts against Joe's neck as his hand pushes into Joe's jeans.

"You're such a whore." Joe says even though he tips his head back for Jon, allowing him to bite on the soft skin of his neck. Jon laughs a little, deep and husky.

"Don't act like you don't like it." he whispers before he licks Joe's ear.

"I saw you, you know?" Joe says and Jon just groans a little as his hand wraps around Joe's cock.

"Saw me where?" Jon asks his tone playful and Joe knows that the other boy knows exactly where.

"Under that table...Under Brendon and Spencer's table." Joe groans out and he's trying to be serious but his hips are pushing up into Jon's tight fist and fuck, it's so good.

"Hmm." is all Jon replies and he's sucking vigorously on Joe's neck. His hand sliding along Joe's cock.

Joe's not stupid, he knows what Jon was doing under the table, he knows that Jon is the Fuled By Ramen whore.

"Did it turn you on?" Jon whispers and Joe moans but refuses to anwser more than that. "Did it turn you on that Brendon kept right on talking to everyone while I was down there on my knees, sucking him off?" Jon's breath is hot against Joe's face and Joe can't fucking help it, he's basically helpless when it comes to fucking, Jon Walker.

He leans in and kisses Jon as he comes into Jon's hand and across his knuckles. He's watching eyes half closed as Jon licks his hand clean before he grins and tucks Joe back into his jeans, buttoning and zipping them up.

"You're a whore." Joe repeats and he means it, Jon knows he means it.

Jon's eyes flicker but he leans in and whispers into Joe's ear. "But I'm your whore." He says before he kisses Joe on the cheek and strides away.

Joe pushes away from the hallway wall before he moves back into the main party room and he scans the room for Jon. See's him locking arms with Pete and he's got his hand's all over Pete's back. Honestly, Joe is not surprised.




Miserable at best-mayday parade

"Ryan, don't cry...I know you're trying your hardest." Brendon whispers and his hands snake around Ryan's wrist's. Ryan isn't looking at him anymore, he's looking down at Brendon's hands. It's too easy for Brendon to see the tears fall down the older boys cheeks.

"The hardest part is letting go." Brendon adds and Ryan look's up, brown eyes tear stained. The younger boy releases one of Ryan's wrists and uses his free hand to wipe away the older boy's tears. It would be hard to let it all go, every moment, every night they had shared but Brendon knows that it's what need's to be done. To keep everything okay he has to let Ryan break up with him.

Three days later and Brendon's sitting alone in the hotel room. The others all went out, Ryan's way of escaping the pain and the awkwardness that had become the two of them lately. Brendon is not pretending that Ryan will be alone tonight, not Ryan. Brendon knows that someone will be there, someone will be staring at him and he'll like it.

Brendon bets that the person will get up the nerve to walk across the floor and ask Ryan to dance. The boy also knows that Ryan will say yes. Brendon groans and pushes the thoughts away.

He knew, he knew all along that he could live without Ryan Ross as his boyfriend. He could survive but he didn't know that without Ryan all he could do was live miserable at best.

Ryan was everything to Brendon, he had been from the first moment they had met. He was all that Brendon had hoped that he'd find, in every single way. Spencer thought it was funny because really, the two boys couldn't be more different, polar opposites. Everything Brendon could give was everything Ryan couldn't take. Funny how that turned out to be so true.

Brendon sort of wants to go home, he does until he realizes that Ryan was his home. Ryan felt like home and even though their in the same city right now, it felt like Ryan was a thousand miles away. When Brendon was younger he didn't know what he was good for, he didn't know how amazing he was. Those were Ryan's words, that Brendon was stupid to his genius. Ryan claims he gave him meaning and he would be joking but Brendon thought it was true.

It takes them a week to start talking again. But when they do Brendon really can't think of anything to say, nothing that won't betray him letting Ryan break up with him.

It's been three whole days since Brendon's had sleep, he can't sleep well anymore because he dreams of anoymous lips on Ryan's cheeks. Spencer says that Brendon should leave Ryan alone, but they all know that he isn't that strong.

So they go on living. The two of them. Seperate lives. One where Ryan is living and Brendon can live without him but without him he'll be miserable at best.




Crushcrushcrush-paramore

Brendon likes how Spencers been watching him lately. It's small but he notices him, staring at Brendon while he's walking or doing something with Ryan and Jon. Or even just messing around on the piano, Spencer is watching, blue blue eyes from across the room. Brendon tries to explain this to Ryan but he says it makes no sense at all. Apparently Ryan thinks his best friend is above stalking.

Brendon kind of thinks that it's like a game. He'll do his best to tempt Spencer, to get him to watch. Spencer will do his best to not watch, to ignore the way Brendon swings his hips, more often than not he fails, because really, who could ignore Brendon Urie's hips?

Ryan notices the game and it suddenly gets a new player, Ryan in the role of Spencer's spy. This three player game is not nearly as fun as trying to tempt Spencer so Brendon sort of stops playing.

Brendon's the one who ignores Spencer until one night when Spencer comes into Brendon's hotel room and wraps his arms around Brendon's waist.

"I'm sick of the game..." Spencer starts and Brendon feels lips on his neck. "Let's be more than this." He tells Brendon and the older boy turns in his arms and smiles, kisses him before he drops down on the bed with his hand around Spencer's wrist.

"Let's." is all he says as he pulls Spencer down beside him.



Scandalous-cobra starship

Brendon is maybe kind of, sort of drunk. It's not his fault, Spencer and Pete dared him to do a multitude of shots. Brendon never one to back down from a dare took ten shots and ended up drunk.

He's currently on the dance floor, dancing rather well in his opinion to whatever Gabe Saporta is playing.

It's around this time that he catches Jon Walker's eye from the floor. He can see Jon watching him as he leans against a barstool, Brendon is wondering why he just doesn't sit but whatever. Jon is laughing and Brendon kind of thinks he's laughing at him.

Brendon saunters, well, it's sauntering to Brendon but drunken stumbling to everyone else, over to Jon.

"Jon Walker!" Brendon squeals as he reaches Jon and flings his arms around Jon's shoulders. Jon just laughs and Brendon can feel it rumble through his chest.

"Hey Bren."

"Jon...Jon...Jwalk. Were you laughing at my incredible dancing?" Brendon half slurrs, but he thinks that slurring is suddenly very sexy.

"No, just admiring." Jon half jokes but Brendon is really not getting the joke. Brendon pulls back and look's up at Jon. How is it even possible that Brendon never notice how fucking hot Jon Walker was? How is it even possible?

"Jon, you're fucking sexy." Brendon says and it's so drunkenly serious that Jon just laughs but no, Brendon's never been more serious in his life.

"And you're drunk...and cut off." Jon states a smile on his face as he reaches down and plucks the half empty beer from Brendon's hand. Brendon doesn't even mind that Jon takes his beer, that's how serious he is.

"No, well, I'm only kinda drunk but even if I weren't I would still say 'Damn you look good'" Brendon says and he's resting his head on Jon's shoulder and he doesn't know what the older boy is thinking and fuck, he hasn't perfected his mind reading skills yet.

Part of Brendon's mind thinks that drunk dancing with Jon is suddenly a good idea so he does but it looks more like he's rubbing himself off on the older boy and Brendon doesn't mind that either but Jon puts a stop to it fairly quickly.

Brendon spends the rest of the night clinging to Jon's side and he passes out at some point but that's okay because when he wakes up at five thirty in the morning and Jon is carrying him back to the hotel he just smiles.

"Still hot Mr. Walker and I am not drunk."




thnks fr th mmrs-fall out boy


"One more night Brendon, please." Pete pleaded through the phone line. Brendon was silent, sighing instead of giving Pete an anwser. "Just one more time." He begs and Brendon's not really good at saying no to Pete when he begs.

He meets Pete at the older boy'`s hotel. Pete kisses him and pins him against the wall. Whispers 'Just one more night' over and over again, the air warm against Brendon's skin.

They kiss and Brendon is thinking that Pete tastes an awful lot like Ryan, just maybe a bit sweeter. Pete pins Brendon down on the bed and he's pressing down on top of him. Brendon knows why he's doing this. He and Patrick must've had a fight again. Pete always did this when he fought with Patrick, and it wasn't always with Brendon.

Brendon knows that to get Pete out of his own fucking mind, Brendon's got to get him out of his clothes.

After it's over Brendon will go back to Ryan and Pete will make it all right with Patrick and it'll be done, if only for awhile.

When it is all over and Pete's shrugging on his clothes. He leans down and kisses Brendon before the younger boy rolls off the bed to get dressed. Brendon's standing by the door when he look's back at Pete and the older boy is grinning at him, happy if only for a moment.

"Thanks for the memories Bren." Pete says and that's all Pete really needs is memories.

"This will be the last time." Brendon tells him, he says it even though he doesn't believe it. Pete nods.

"I know." He replies. Brendon leaves and he knows that it will be the last time until Pete calls again begging for just one more night, one more time.




i will follow you into the dark-death cab for cutie

Brendon loves Patrick. He loves him more than he's ever really loved anything in his entire life. Even puppies and Brendon loves puppies a hell of a lot.

Brendon's sure he would do anything for Patrick, would follow him anywhere.

Patrick and Brendon are laying together on Brendon's bed. Patrick is stroking through Brendon's hair and kissing him lightly. "I love you Patrick." Brendon breaths out and Patrick smiles and laughs but he doesn't say it back. It doesn't bother Brendon as much as it should, he knows that Patrick has trouble saying it back, that sometimes he can't believe that Brendon does love him.

It doesn't bother Brendon because all he has to do is tell him how much he loves him until Patrick believes it.

"When you die, I'll follow you wherever you go." Brendon states and he knows it's a weird way to say 'I love you' but Patrick needs grand gestures.

"That's nice." Patrick laughs but Brendon just kisses him and continues.

"I'm serious. Heaven or hell or inbetween I'll follow you wherever you go Patrick. I promise." He knows that Patrick doesn't actually believe in religion but whatever it doesn't matter. Brendon renounced his own faith so their both probably screwed so it doesn't matter.

"You'll follow me into the dark?" Is all Patrick replies and Brendon thinks that it's turning into one of those Pete Wentz kind of conversations. But he nods.

"I will." Patrick stares at him for a long moment but Brendon's not changing his mind and he's not just saying it either. He really will follow Patrick into the darkness, it doesn't matter, if he has the older boy with him than he doesn't care where he goes.

Patrick suddenly leans forward and kisses him hard and deep. It's almost like the words to Brendon, almost like he's saying 'I love you' with the kiss and it's all Brendon needs.


August Is Over-we the kings

Brendon was going to miss the summer. Not just because of the warm weather and the whole no school thing. He was going to miss the summer because he's going to miss Nate so fucking badly. Brendon had met the slightly older boy at a party over his summer while Nate was visiting his cousin in Vegas. They had been dating just as long, well, Brendon liked to call it dating but more people would call it a summer fling. Now tomorrow it would all be over, Nate was going back home, too far away for them to be in a relationship. Brendon should've listened to Ryan and not get involved with those summer visitors.

He was thinking when he got into this and now it's almost done, he's almost gone and Brendon's never hated August being over more.



Cat and Mouse-red jumpsuit apparatus

"I'll never leave and you'll never change." Brendon mutters as he and William lay side by side on the older boy's bed. Brendon knows he has to break up with William, it's not really anything the older boy did. It's all mostly Brendon's fault because he's not sastisfied with this life. With the constant back and forth of their relationship. It was too much, too much drama and one too many cases of wandering eyes. Brendon believed that William was everything he wanted but now that he had it, well, it all came with too big of a price, Brendon's happiness. He breaks it off quick and painless (or at least he tries)

"You said that you would die for me Will, now I want you to go out and live for me too." Brendon tell's him. Kisses William quickly and he's off the bed and going to find something that really makes him happy.


Jersey-mayday parade

"It was all a lie until you left wasn't it?" Brendon asks, voice deathly serious and Gabe ducks his head before he look's at him surprised.

"No, I meant it."

Brendon doesn't believe him for a second. He just found out that Gabe, his seemingly perfect boyfriend had been cheating on him with not one but two people.

"Did you mean it when you said it to them too?" Brendon snaps at him, voice raising and his gaze is burning into Gabe. The older boy shakes his head.

"I was never serious about them. I don't love them like I love you." He tries but Brendon shakes his head. He feel's like he's falling, Gabe used to hold him up but now he's falling all alone. "Brendon, I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter. I'll be fine." Brendon would not tell him how he felt like he was gone beyond repair. He turn's and leaves Gabe standing in the stillness of the tour bus. He grimaces against the wind outside and notices how Jersey just got a little bit colder.


Northern Downpour-panic at the disco

"It's raining." Alex says as he stares out the large bay window. Brendon shrugs a bit.

"It's Chicago, Jon, says it always rains in Chicago." Brendon tries to justify the act. The sun is getting ready to set and Brendon is still struggling to pack, they have to be gone by tomorrow and Ryan will kill him if he isn't ready.

"It's pretty." Alex states but his voice is twinged with saddness and that's enough to draw Brendon out of his packing. Moving over to the boy at the window.

"You're pretty." He tell's him and kisses Alex's cheek.

"I'll miss your skin when you're east." Alex whispers and Brendon grins against his neck.

"You're not allowed to drop my own songs at me." He points out. Alex shrugs and turns in Brendon's arm's. Brendon look's out the window and he can see the outline of the moon already in the sky. They still have tonight, as long as it's night they'll have each other. Brendon really, really doesn't want the moon to go down tonight.


I slept with someone in fall out boy and all i got was this song written about me-fall out boy

"You're really good at being slutty Brendon." Bob says from the bed, brushing his blonde bangs out of his face.

"I am?" Brendon asks, swings his hips a little and it takes everything Bob has not to look at his ass. Brendon's grinning and he knows perfectly well that he's good at being slutty. What with the way he wears all that cheap colonge, allows all those people to buy him drinks in the hopes of getting into his ultra tight pants. Brendon knows what he is and he plays off of it. The point is that he's just acting, life is all one big act for Brendon and all that matters is that he's not really slutty for anyone except for Bob and well, Bob doesn't mind that at all.



Seventeen forever-metro station

Krissy Kaiser did not sleep around, not ever, she was not that kind of girl. She had moral reasons for not being that kind of girl but also none of the guys she knew were even remotely the type of guy she would give it up for. None of them except Brendon. But Brendon was kind of seeing someone, some horrible kind of on again off again thing. Krissy had been pining for him for so long. She felt like they were meant to be together, there were a lot of reasons for why they shouldn't be but she firmly chose to ignore those reasons.

That's probably how she wound up in one of those upstairs room's with him, because she was ingoring everything that wasn't him. He told her that this was all okay, that she felt like heaven when he touched her. He claimed that they could get away with this tonight. Krissy went with his logic, went with what he wanted.

They wouldn't be seventeen forever but she knew they could both get away with this tonight.



When you were young-the killers

Krissy was just a simple waitress, working at a rundown bar in mexico city. Serving beer to the drunken locals who tipped her pretty well, mostly because she was blonde and blue eyed. She was trying to save up money to go back to the states, to leave this little run down neighborhood. She had gotten stuck here a few years ago because of some shady people that she shouldn't have been associating with.

It was a tuesday the day he came in. All dark hair and matching eyes, long limbs and nicely dressed. He ordered a drink from her and he was painfully american but he talks like a gentleman so she smiles and gives him a beer on the house, one she'll have to pay for later but it's more than worth it with the way he's smiling at her.

Ever since she was young she dreamed of some beautiful boy to come and save her from her dreadful life. This was him, she was sure of it. Krissy takes her break and goes outside, drinking a bottle of water, the tap water here long since turned undrinkable in her own opinion. She's surprised to find that the browned eyed boy has followed her out to the side of the building, reddish dirt everywhere around them.

He introduces himself as Ryan as she smiles warmly as she takes his offered hand. Krissy asks how long he plans to stay in town and Ryan tell's her that he's leaving in two days, it only takes the girl five minutes to decide that no matter what she is going with Ryan and it only takes Ryan a minute and a half to say yes.



Homesick at spacecamp-fall out boy

Spencer likes to give his girlfriend mix cd's that he makes. Ryan laughs and says it's insanely gay but Spencer tends to think Ryan's just jealous that he doesn't have a girlfriend as awesome as Krissy is. Spencer makes her these cd's with lyrics that encompass all the feelings he has for her, he uses the cd's to deliver the words to the girl, the words that he can't yet say. Krissy just smiles and puts the songs on her ipod. Sing's them sometimes when the two of them are all alone, laying on Spencer's bed and holding hand's. When he's with Krissy Spencer feel's absolutely golden.



pressure-paramore

Krissy knows that her relationship with Jon Walker is not going well. They're fighting a hell of a lot more than they used to and it's really weird for them to even be fighting because Jon is not the fighting type. They fight a lot at night, before Krissy goes to bed. Calling and arguing over stupid shit that doesn't matter. She end's up laying in bed feeling horribly empty and going to school the next day pretending like nothing happened the night before. It's getting harder to pretend. She feel's a ton of pressure, pressure to do something. Fix it or break up with him. She's not even sure she really loves him anymore, she knows that she used to but now, things just don't feel the same. Krissy knows that the pressure is building and it's a matter of time before it all goes off, one way or another and all she can think is how much better off they'll be without each other.



It Had to be you-motion city soundtrack

Pete knows he's fucked up, damaged good's. He firmly believes that he cannot function if he's not with someone. He doesn't really do well on his own. He had been with someone, someone so perfect for him. Krissy. She had been his absolute everything but he was too fucked up and she just couldn't handle it after awhile. So one day she ended it all, packed up her things and left without so much as a phone call. He hadn't heard from her in month's. So now he is all alone but he's so desperate to still be around her, he loves her still. He's written her letter's, letter's filled with his insane ramblings he doesn't actually think that's helping the situation but it doesn't matter, she never writes him back. Until one day when she does, it's simple just a simple line. 'All this time and everything's changed but I still feel the same. All good things eventually get washed down the drain.'

Pete knows that it's her that he's needed all along.



Until the day i die-story of the year

Krissy was epically in love with Patrick Stump. Like horribly in love with him, he was her boyfriend so it was normal. The girl wasn't good at opening up to people but for Patrick she was. She continuously spilled her heart for the boy, whether it be between the sheets or him driving her to school. That's how she was, that's how they were. So intensely in love. Even when they fought she would hate him but love him at the same time. She was more than willing to make the same mistakes time and time again, because she felt like he was worth it. He made those same mistakes too, asking her about their past times together and on occasion spilling his own heart for her. Because he was epically in love with her too.



Vegas skies-the cab

It took a lot of convincing for Krissy to agree to dating Alex. Mostly because Alex lived in Vegas and Krissy lived...well, not in Vegas. They dated while he was staying with his aunt during his junior year of high school but now, well, now it was time for him to go back home. It was a long drive back to Vegas and the dusty Vegas skies. Alex never really had a problem saying goodbye until he had to say goodbye to her. They spent their last night together, at least their last night together for a good long while. Alex pushing Krissy's hair out of her face and telling her that tonight was forever and as long as he had forever he was fine. As Alex kissed Krissy, holding her tight he was sure that the girl, that the two of them had the power to stop the clock all together. They only had forever and forever was fine.



Folkin' Around-panic

Gabe exaggerated every memory of his and Krissy's relationship. It might've been short but it meant something to him. William liked to joke that the summer lasted longer than Krissy and Gabe did. Back then nothing really mattered except for him to be with her but like most teenaged things, they all forgot and they all grew. Krissy's dad never liked Gabe and he made that point clear, Gabe used to joke that if Krissy's father knew all the things his daughter got up to he'd freak out. Krissy used to wait for him outside on those warm, warm summer night's. Sitting on her wooden porch with a small latern next to her. Krissy was devine in accepting their break up but Gabe wasn't, maybe he was just terrified to be alone. It didn't matter either way because the night they broke up she put out the laterns for good, telling Gabe to find his own way back home.



Jamie all over-mayday parade

William tell's Krissy one morning over coffee that he had a dream that the two of them drove out to see Las Vegas. Krissy quirks an eyebrow and asks to hear more. He smiles and takes a sip of his coffee. He tell's her about him singing her songs that he wrote spur of the moment, walking on beaches and later making love on those same beaches as the waves crash around them. Krissy raises an eyebrow at that part making sure to tell him that she would never, have sex on a beach. William quirks his lips and asks why. 'Too much sand in very wrong places.' She explains and he laughs. William tell's her about dreaming sunsets and how absolutely perfect they looked in his mind. He sounds so damn wistful and unhappy that he was actually dreaming the whole thing that she can't help but book two tickets to Vegas that afternoon.



Tell that mick-fall out boy

Krissy doesn't like the fact that max smokes. She's told him that the whole time they were dating and the night they broke up for the first time she told him to light a smoke up in her honor, whatever will kill him sooner. They got back together soon after that but then Max started drinking heavily and they broke up for the second time. She proceeded to call him her favorite liar and her favorite scar. The third time they broke up she told him that when she said she loved him that she had lied. When they broke up for the fourth time they were driving and she was joking about his ex-girlfriend, jealousy evident in her voice. Whenever they fought she aimed for all the things that she knew would hurt him because he had hurt her each time he relapsed and somehow she just kept taking him back. Until finally she just couldn't do it anymore and she broke up with him for good, telling him to burry her in his memory because they would never be together again after this. Max went to rehab shortly after and Krissy was waiting for him to get out.


http://p-userpic.livejournal.com/75671460/1081247


secret crowds-angels and airwaves

Jon Walker laid stretched out in his backyard with his girlfriend by his side. Their hands linked together, staring up at the stars. He looked over at her, feeling his heart flutter just by looking at her. He loved her so, so much. He would do absolutely anything for her and he suddenly felt the need to make that fact known.

"Cassie, you know I would do anything for you right?" He says and she turns her head, smiling so soft and sweet and she nods.

"I know." Jon didn't really think she was grasping it though.

"Seriously though. If you asked me I'd do anything. I'd build you your own empire if you wanted." He informs her, squeezing her hand to prove his point. She laughs sweetly.

"I know but I want you to know that I don't need you to do anything extravagant for me. This," She says, lifting their linked hands and motioning to the two of them. "This is all I want. If you can give me this than I'm happy."

Jon smiles, "That I think I can do." He says before he lean's in and kisses her.



sunsets and car crashes-spill canvas

Cassie and Brendon were both sitting out in the school parking lot in Brendon's mom's van. They were just talking, Brendon had been having a bad day and they came out here to talk. It was normal after three years of friendship. But tonight it all felt different, it all felt so much more important like they really needed each other. Cassie had been saying something when Brendon leaned over and kissed her, sealing the deal right there in the parking lot. He really did need her and he really did love her. He found it so, so easy to compare her to things of beauty like sunsets and everything else he loved in the world, sure, Ryan made fun of him for it but he didn't care because she loved him and he told her this all the time. His favorite line being "In case you were wondering, you're everything to me." Cassie would just smile and kiss him as he dropped her off, the stars reflecting down on her, making her sparkle like he thought she should, like he always knew she did.


fall for you-secondhand serenade

Spencer was glad that at least tonight he and Cassie weren't fighting, not as they had been for the last three days. They were sitting in almost silence though, each doing their own thing. Spencer watching Cassie and the girl doing everything in her power to ignore him. He loves her but things have become so, so hard. He's not even sure why but even when he's mad at her he can't stop loving her, she makes him fall for her over and over again. Each night she revives his love for her just by doing what she's always done. A smile, a word, a touch and he's her's all over again. Spencer doesn't want anything to ever change that. He's pretty damn sure that she could find somone better than him but as for himself, well, he already knows that a girl like her is impossible to find.



Lighthouse-the hush sound

"Fucking lucky coincedence that this lighthouse was here." Cassie says, her arm's wrapped around herself as water drips off of her. Ryan look's back at her and nod's.

"Even luckier that the thing was unlocked." Ryan was dripping wet too, the two of them caught in a horrible storm as they had been walking along the coastline. Ryan notices her shaking from the rain and feel's guilty because it's his fault they're even here.

He and Cassie had left their lives behind three week's ago. Ryan had a good reason to go but Cassie she didn't because she actually had a happy life, good family and shit like that, not like Ryan. He moves forward and wraps his arm's around her, pulling her further into the lighthouse. Attempting to keep her warm by pressing her to his body. She shivers against him and he presses his face into her wet hair.

"I'm sorry." He mumbles out.

"For what?" She asks with shaky breath.

"For ruining your life."

Cassie pull's back and stares up at him, blue eyes locked on brown. "How many times do I have to tell you that I came with you because I wanted to. You didn't ruin anything. Ryan, I would do it all again just to be with you. I don't care because nothing back there is as important to me as you are. I love you." And despite her being soaking wet and probably miserable, Ryan can't help but believe her, just like he can't help but kiss her.



chicago is so two years ago-fall out boy

Pete liked being neighbors with Cassie, in the beginning at least because in the beginning she liked him and he liked her. They weren't fighting like they were now. She said she never wanted to see him again, mostly because he had wandering eyes and a wandering tongue. Cassie had broken up with him and called him overrated, told him that she didn't need boy's like him and dammit, he knew she was right. At night he watched her house, saw the light in her room and knew when she was home, just like he knew when she was out with some guy handpicked to make Pete jealous. He knew this due to the way she'd stare up at his window and just smirk that goddamned smirk. The one that made Pete wish with every breath that her heart would be broken again and again. But really now that he was out of her life, he just didn't see that happening.



broken hearted-motion city soundtrack

After Patrick broke up with her she felt like she was dying, like her heart was torn from her and smashed repeatedly while she watched. Needless to say it fucking hurt, it hurt almost as much at the lonliness did at first, it didn't hurt so much anymore, she was kind of used to it. What she was not used to though was how damn eager she was to make everyone just as broken hearted as she was. She wanted everyone's heart's to stop and break just like her's had been so rudely. Cassie knows she's getting carried away but she really can't stop herself from destroying Patrick's relationship's, every single one until his heart is in jagged pieces just like hers.



Camisado-panic

"Alex, I cannot keep doing this." Cassie whispers so quietly that no one but Alex would ever be able to hear it. He nod's weakly and avoids her eyes, stares up at the I.V. drip that flows from his arm. He's in the hospital, again, third time in four months and it's always for the same reason. Mixing booze with his pill's. Cassie had been by his side every single time. Every time he relasped but he could feel it, her heart was losing the fight with her mind and he knew that she was realizing that he was destined to be a decorated emergency, that he was fated to be in the hospital's hall of fame and that she couldn't just sit there and watch him do it. He was holding her back, taking the fight right out of her and she didn't deserve that. That's why when she kissed him softly and he wiped away her tear's and watched her walk out the door, he knew it would be for the last time.


Woah (Me Vs. Everyone)-forever the sickest kids

Gabe was a hell of a competitive person. No matter what it was he wanted to win at it. So, it really was no surprise that when it came to landing girl's it was the same thing. He saw a girl and no matter if she was already with someone, if other guys were looking at her, fuck, it didn't matter because he was determined to win her from that moment on. Yeah, it was shallow but fuck it, Gabe never said he wasn't shallow. It was him versus everyone else in the room and he had yet to lose a round. Tonight he didn't think it would be any different. He's not exactly sure why he put's himself in these situations, why he cast's himself as the homewrecker. Maybe it's because if girl's want him then he knows he's good, he doesn't have to doubt himself and live with insecurities. Gabe doesn't think about it too much because a pretty brunette girl holding Jon Walker's hand walk's into the room and right away, he knows that he want's her.

Gabe tries everything in his arsenial but she doesn't budge. Tell's him time and time again that she has a boyfriend, that he's not her type, that he's pissing her off and now people are starting to watch. Starting to wonder why Gabe hasn't sealed the deal on this chick yet. Good thing Jon's outside smoking up or he'd be in serious trouble here. Gabe tries a little harder, strokes her hair and tell's her that she's beautiful. She smiles but smacks his hand away, telling him not to touch her. People are laughing at him now, laughing at him because he's striking out and he's losing his rep and his self-esteem all because of this girl.

Gabe get's mad and informs her that she is not worth his time. Leaving the room just as Jon reappears. Gabe strides away and the girl who he learns is named Cassie, doesn't spare him a glance for the rest of the night. Gabe continues to tell his friends that she wasn't worth it, when really, he knows that Gabe was no where near worthy of her.



golden-fall out boy

Nate knows he isn't a good person. He suck's in his own opinion. He's too short and he's kinda rude and he doesn't fit in well with people. He knows and so do the people in this damn city. He figures that god must be crying at what a huge fucking mistake he is. Nate knows that mothers warn their babies not to grow up to be like him. He trudges along, his own self worth disappering with each step. Nate reaches the park and see's her sitting there, maybe possibly the one person who doesn't think he suck's. She see's him and smiles and waves him over. He returns her smile and goes to her, the only person he loves but he knows that she could never love him back because, well, he just wasn't worth loving.



little less sixteen candles-fall out boy

"You're a monster." Cassie whispers, her hands coming up to her mouth as she stares at William with huge blue eyes. William smirk's, drops the body he had been holding and steps closer to her. Smiles and he can tell by the look in her eyes that there's still blood staining his teeth.

"That's a matter of opinion." He tell's her. She turns away, tries to run but he's so much faster and his hands are winding around her waist, pulling her close. "Now, now, you didn't think I was such a monster a few days ago did you?" She's shaking under his icy cold touch. "Don't worry, I forgive you and I promise that I won't think you're a monster." He tell's her and she can't even process those words before he leans forward and bites her hard on the neck, changing her into a 'monster' just like him.





stupid kid-alkaline trio

Jenny thinks it was fucking stupid that she ever loved Jon Walker. She was too young and stupid to know any better, to know that she was actually supposed to be with him. She blames it all on being a stupid kid and she knows that Jon's happier now, happier with Jenny's best friend but she doesn't care. Every chance she has that they're alone she tell's him that she takes back every word she ever said about love and it being with him. Jon just frowns and goes off to find Cassie, She also ignores the fact that she maybe still loves Jon just a little bit.



everything i ask for-the maine

Ryan really loves Jenny, like more than he's ever loved someone. He loves the little ways that she leaves him notes and how she wears red when she's feeling sexy, how she's not afraid to call him on his shit. He really doesn't know what she see's in him but he considers himself lucky that she see's it at all. Ryan likes how she's not big on holding hands, how she always loves to keep him guessing, how she look's the best with no clothes on. Everything about her he loves and it's kind of ridiculous because no one should love someone else this much but he does. Jenny is really everything he's asks for, everything and so much more.



never dream alone-ashlee simpson

It was winter and the snow was falling so gently against their window. Jenny and Spencer snuggled up in bed together, her hand placed so softly over his heart. Spencer was drifting off to sleep but she was still awake, waiting for him to fall asleep, whispering promises not to let his heart skip any beat's. He had been hurt so many times by so many people but not her, she promised it would never be her. Jenny loves him, she doesn't want anything to hurt him ever, especially not her. She closes her eyes and snuggles closer to him, falling asleep so Spencer doesn't have to dream alone.



wow, i can get sexual too-say anything

Jenny was not expecting a call from Brendon at one in the morning. She anwsers because her boyfriend is calling her, duh. On the other line of the phone Brendon is all breathy sighs and slight gasps. Jenny is taken aback because what the fuck? She was sleeping but it's obvious that Brendon was not. "Bren, baby, what are you doing?" She asks.

"What color is your underwear?" Brendon asks and Jenny laughs but Brendon groans out that he's serious.

"Black." She tell's him, a little unsure and Brendon moans a bit at that. She's heard those moans before and she knows exactly what Brendon is doing on the phone. It should be gross but it's not, it's insanely hot and she get's Brendon off before they hang up the phone, Jenny laughing herself to sleep.



dance, dance-fall out boy


"I don't like dances Pete." Jenny whines, tries to stop her boyfriend from pulling her into the packed gymnasium. Pete stops and look's back at her.

"Come on. I promise I'll make it good for you."

"That's what you said when we had sex for the first time. Need I remind you how that went?" She asks and she cannot believe that he talked her into wearing a dress, the bastard. Pete just grin's and takes her hand.

"Yeah, but this is going to be way more fun then that." He says and he tugs her into the gym, probably to dirty dance with her the rest of the night. Pete is just so fucking lucky that Jenny actually loves him.



I'm like a lawyer-fall out boy

Patrick wonders how many times he's going to have to apologize to Jenny, probably a lot, probably less than she deserves. Maybe if he's lucky he can play it off with some grand words, he only keep's himself this fucked up in the head because he knows how the words always get her. Patrick thinks that he and Jenny might as well fucking be the posterchildren for a failed relationship that's getting dragged out, beaten to death but they never leave each other. They can't take the lonliness. They'll both just pretend that they never outgrew that honeymoon stage. They have each other, they have sex, so what if their not happy? Two out of three isn't so bad after a while.




six feet under the stars-all time low

Jenny doesn't say anything the day Gabe moves his bed outside. She just follows him and collapses down next to him. The two of them passing a bottle of jager back and forth, taking the bitter sips out of it until the alchohol warms them up enough so that they don't feel the cold surrounding them. Gabe sometimes wonders if Jenny would stick around without the alcohol, that's a stupid thought because she isn't like that, she isn't Vicky and Jenny is content with Gabe and won't call him fucking psycho for putting his bed outside and holding hand's six feet under the stars.



everything-a cursive memory

William doesn't really believe Jenny when she tell's him that he's her everything. He's never been anything that important to anyone but now to her he was? He was too skeptical and Jenny knew this. That's probably why she did what she did. Leaving him letters everywhere. A post-it note on William's car with the letter E on it. Another on his locker with a sparkly V on it. Gabe gave him a note in the hallway and when he opened it it had another E written on the inside. At lunch Brendon stood up on one of the tables and screamed out the letter R until the lunch monitor shooed him away. Cassie had the letter Y written in sharpie on the palm of her hand while Krissy had the letter T. Jon Walker gave him a football that had the letter H painted on it and when William went to his fifth hour the chalkboard had the letter I written in pink chalk. By now William realized what was going on, that his girlfriend was behind the whole thing and he found it fucking adorable. He actually hadn't seen her today, he thinks maybe she didn't come to school.

William finds himself eagerly awaiting the arrival of the other letters. On his way out of the school Travis shows up and hand's William a cookie with an N written on it in frosting. That just left the G but the school day was over so he really didn't know how he was going to get that last letter.

That is until he reaches his car and see's Jenny leaning against it. Hoodie zipped up and she's smirking at him. "Good day?" She asks and he nod's returning her smirk.

"Interesting. Now where is my G?"

"G? What the hell are you talking about?" Jenny asks but she's smiling as she unzips her hoodie and reveals the G written in sharpie on her shirt.

"So, everything?" He asks and she nods as he slips his arms around her and pull's her close. Maybe it's not so hard to believe after all.



umbrella-all time low

Jenny sort of hates Forks. It's too dark and it rains too much...okay so maybe she doesn't hate it that much, just when she forgets to bring her umbrella to school. She's standing outside watching everyone else in the school leave and she's fucked because her mom isn't coming to get her today, no, today happens to be the day she has to walk home. Just when it look's like she'll have to get drenched to walk home a person suddenly appears next to her, black umbrella intact. Jenny is looking up into the honey colored eyes of Edward Cullen. He's grinning at her and what the fuck? She's never seen him grin before. "Need a ride?" He asks and she shakes her head cursing herself because yes, gorgeous Edward, she does need a ride.

"I-I can walk."

"You'll catch a cold if you walk."

"You're right..I don't even have my umbrella."

Edward smiles at her and nod's towards his Volvo.

"I'll give you a ride home. No arguing." He says because Jenny opens her mouth to say something but she closes it just as fast. "And I'll even let you stand under my umbrella." He says as he takes her hand and leads her out to his car.



undressing the word's-the maine

Jenny never considered herself that good with word's, maybe when she had time to think about it, or if she was talking to Cassie, the two of them could spout some pretty epic line's. The point was that right now, at Jon Walker's stupid party that Cassie had dragged Jenny to and promptly abandonded her to giggle at Jon's side, she couldn't think of anything quite poetic enough. The reason for her sudden vocal skill's was that Clay Aiken happened to be at this party, which hell, she did not expect but he was here and hanging around by the door looking every bit as uncomfortable as Jenny felt.

He looked really cute tonight though so Jenny made her way over to him standing in the cute way that Cassie had taught her about and attempting to use a flirty voice, something else that Cassie taught her. Was it bad that the first thing Jenny wanted to say was "Hey Clay, how's your crotch?" Yeah, probably.

She does manage to talk to him, trying to be funny trying to make him comfortable. If Jenny's being honest her intent for tonight is not so pure, hell Cassie's whispering something into Jon's ear and Krissy took off upstair's with Brendon a million or so hour's ago so what's so wrong with Jenny wanting this night to end with her and Clay in one of Jon's bedroom's? Nothing and that's why she keep's talking, subtely undressing the boy with each and every one of her word's.



G.I.N.A.S.F.S-fob

Spencer has a ritual, a nightly ritual. It can very well be considered creepy but he can't help it. This ritual is Spencer remembering Jon. Sleeping with the older boy's shirt's and wearing those old flip-flop's that Jon left behind when he left, when he left Spencer behind. It was really Spencer's own fault, he should've said what he felt when he had the chance, he shouldn't have waited until Jon traded him in, traded him for Brendon, 'Blue eyes for Brown." He had said and maybe Spencer just stood there and scoffed and pretended not to care but all along he was screaming, screaming that he did love Jon that he knew all along that the older boy was who he was supposed to be with. A little late for that now, so, Spencer will stick with his ritual.


grand theft autum-fob
So, maybe Spencer Smith was sort of madly in love with Brendon Urie, so, what? Who care's because Brendon was completely off limit's, because he was sort of already taken. Spencer damn's Jon Walker on a daily basis, everyday he has to listen to Brendon talk about his older 'college' boyfriend, like Jon is so great. It's not even fair that he has to be there when the two of them are fighting and he's not actually allowed to say anything he want's to say like how he's sure that Jon is screwing around on Brendon, want's to ask if Brendon even know's where Jon is tonight. He doesn't and in a couple day's it will all be better between them and maybe someday Brendon will see Spencer in the way he want's to be seen but that day's not today so he'll sit and he'll wait.



our town-we the kings
"Just be here when I get back O.K.?" Ryan asks, holding Spencer's hand under the street lamp on the corner. Spencer nod's, flick's his bang's out of his eyes.

"I will be."

Ryan tries to smile but it doesn't make it to his eyes, he can't be happy and neither can Spencer. Not when Ryan is leaving for some stupid boarding school tomorrow, not when he won't see Ryan for month's and month's. Not when Ryan is leaving their town, their live's. He's not happy but he can fake it for Ryan's sake, so that his best friend, the best part of his life won't be worried that he'll always know that Spencer will be waiting, always waiting for Ryan.



all over you-spill canvas
"Why can't you just love me back?" Spencer asks Pete, it's not so much asking as it is shouting in a hotel room. Pete is looking at him from the bed, heavy brown eyes and he has no word's, nothing he can actually say.

"I love you so damn much, I love you and all you can do is make it so hard, so damn complicated."

"Spence," Pete start's but the younger boy doesn't want to hear it, not the excuses, not again.

"All I'm asking is that you try, can't you just fucking try?" Spencer shout's, Pete flinches but remain's still, remain's quiet and Spencer is seething. He love's the older boy so damn much and Pete is just acting uneffected, like it doesn't matter, like he doesn't matter. Spencer fall's on his knee's on the hotel room floor, too worn to argue anymore.



zzzz-the cab
"Are you going to sing me to sleep?" Spencer asks over the phone, Patrick make's a small noise, his embarressed noise.

"Did Pete put you up to this?"

"No, I just want to hear you. I'm no good at singing myself to sleep Patrick."

Spencer's not sure if his older boyfriend will do it, he's horribly self-concious despite how amazing his voice is. Spencer wait's, closes his eyes and listen's to Patrick's breathing, maybe he doesn't need the singing after all...maybe the breathing will be enough to lull him into a sleep.

Patrick clear's his throat before he talk's. "What song Spencer?" He asks and Spencer grin's, having won a small battle between the two of them.


one and only-timbaland ft fob

"Save your breath Gabe, they all told me that you sleep around."

"Oh, come on now Spencer, that hurt's, really it does."

"But I don't hear you saying that it isn't true."

"Did William tell you this?"

"Does it matter?"

"Alright, I'm out of here."

"No, no, wait. God, I was kidding, learn to take a joke Smith."

"I don't have time for games you know."

"Well, I'll have you know that I have recently come to the decision to be a one man..man."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah, see I finally met someone who is worth it."

"Really?"

"Mmm hmm, wanna know who?"

"I dread asking but who?"

"Will you be my one and only Spencer Smith?"

"God, you're cheesy Gabe."

"So, that's a yes?"

"Yeah, I think it is."


Spencer has a weird thing for liar's, he can't stand them but at the same time they kind of turn him on. A secret little kink that he has that he'll always go for the kid whose lying. Ryan says it's bad but fuck it, he like's when guy's lie, when William lie's and they fight and break up but William always comes back, always bounces back, come's right back to Spencer and they start the cycle all over again. William uses his lip's for a lot of thing's, his mouth moving but he's not really speaking. Spencer just hope's that next time the older boy uses his lip's that they're on him.




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