Saturday, February 7, 2009

troubled thoughs
Ryan Ross is a fucked up kid.

Someone should've told Brendon Urie this on the day he met Ryan Ross, he thinks that there should've been a warning sticker stuck across the thin frame of Ryan's chest. Warning: This kid with the messy brown hair and deep eyes, with the beautiful face and slender body, warning: this kid is fucked up.

No one warns him though and just like that, in one millisecond of his life, Brendon Urie is pulled in.

It starts with skipping a couple of college classes to go and smoke weed with Ryan. Ryan's hands on Brendon's wrist, linking their fingers together, like they're already that familar with each other when really Brendon's only known this guy for a day and a half. Ryan pulls Brendon down streets and around corners until they're stuck in an alley between a bank and an apartment building. Ryan tells Brendon that if an occupant of said apartment building bothered enough to stick their head out the window of their bathroom that they'd look down and see these two scrawny kids standing together.

Brendon wants to ask how Ryan knows where the windows of this apartment building lead to, he doesn't.

Ryan lights the joint with nimble fingers and he's sucking in long drags that make his mouth look perfect and red. Yes, Brendon thinks that there should definitly be a warning stuck on him somewhere. Silver smoke rolls out from Ryan's nose and he's passing the joint to Brendon. Despite Brendon being in college he's never smoked pot, just like he's only had one real conversation with Ryan Ross and the kids last name and what class he's ditching to be here right now, is about as much as he knows about him.

"You never have?" Ryan asks, still holding the joint out for Brendon. The younger boy shakes his head feeling stupid and unbelievably young. Ryan Ross just smiles, another warning, and he places the joint between his teeth, sucks in and holds it. He holds the silver smoke in as he leans forward towards Brendon, one hand snaking up to Brendon's neck, tugging the black haired boy forward. Their lips connecting, open mouthed, Brendon won't admit that the only reason his mouth was open was because he was surprised.

Ryan's mouth is open too and the silver smoke seeps out between their shared mouths as it evacuates Ryan's mouth and fills Brendon's lungs.

Brendon will not admit that this is his first kiss.

Ryan pulls away smirking, his lips shiny as Brendon coughs, his brown eyes watering.

That's how it all starts. Well, if Brendon wants to get technical it all started in the cafeteria when Spencer said "Ryan, this is Brendon, he's an idiot." But Brendon's not going to count that.

"I wonder what else you haven't done." Ryan says as he looks at Brendon through thick eyelashes.

Definitly a warning somewhere.

That's how it starts and that's how Brendon winds up at Ryan's place an hour later, head resting on Ryan Ross' naked shoulder, taking his first drags off of Ryan's cigarette. The brown haired boy stubs the cigarette out on the chared surface of his nightstand, the nightstand used in lew of an ashtray. Ryan leans down and kisses Brendon, so much better than the first [kinda] kiss they had. Pale hands with nimble fingers on Brendon's hips. Ryan's pulling the younger boy up, flipping them so that once again Brendon is on top, crushing down on the older boy.

Ryan bites at Brendon's shoulder and tells him that he's determined to take all of Brendon's firsts.


*

In a months time Brendon is kind of living with Ryan. He says kind of because techinically he still lives in the college dorms, that's where most of his shit still sits but at the same time he spends nearly all his time with Ryan, he doesn't mind and neither does the older boy.

They sit together on Ryan's soft smushy couch. Passing a joint back and forth, Ryan still shotgunning him at times because he likes the feeling of pushing smoke into Brendon's lungs.

True to his word Ryan has taken nearly all of Brendon's firsts. First kiss, with a boy or otherwise, his virginity, the first time he's been fucked and blown and the first times he's begged someone to fuck him. Ryan owns those all. The older boy is good at it, good at everything in Brendon's opinion and the black haired, brown eyed boy wonders, somewhere in the deep pits of his mind, who owns all of Ryan's firsts?

The two of them are making out when Spencer comes in. Ryan doesn't lock the door to his apartment, he tells Brendon that whoever comes into his house was meant to come into his house. Even if Ryan did lock the door, Spencer would be the only person in the world who would have the key.

Ryan's hands are in Brendon's hair, pulling him closer as their tongues slide together. He makes these little noises when they make out, little whines in his throat that make Brendon's tongue vibrate. Soft grunts and the near pornographic slick noises of their joined mouths.

Spencer sets his bookbag on Ryan's kitchen table, techincally the kitchen and the living room are the same thing. Spencer's blue, blue eyes are locked on the two of them and he's watching. It's the way that Ryan doesn't care if his best friend is in the room, he'll still slide his hand into Brendon's pants, still rub his warm palm against Brendon's dick.

Brendon shivers and Spencer sighs. "Test tomorrow Ross." The youngest of the three boys says. Ryan finally breaks free from Brendon's plush mouth. This is important because Ryan hasn't been to class in two weeks, says that he's been sick.

"Copy your notes for me Smith?" Ryan breathes, leaning back against the couch, lips bruised and wet, his darker than usual brown eyes locking with his best friends. Brendon makes light gasping noises because Ryan is still rubbing, cupping his cock warm and gentle, determined to make this the first time that Brendon comes in front of someone who isn't Ryan.

Spencer is drinking in the whole scene, knows what Ryan is doing to Brendon and he barely bats an icy blue eye. "Don't I always?" He says and he's getting ready to walk out of the room, it looks like he's heading towards the bathroom, maybe to the bedroom to take a nap between classes.

"Wait!" Ryan says loudly and Brendon freezes, Ryan's brown eyes slipping to the younger boys. "Not you." He clarifies and Brendon's eyes slip closed once again as Ryan rubs him faster. The brown haired boy isn't paying attention to Brendon, except for his hand on Brendon's cock. Ryan's attention is focused on Spencer. Spencer who is frozen in place in the kitchen, eyes locked with the older boy.

"Wait, Spencer." Ryan says so low and soft and Spencer doesn't argue, he stays put. "Just stay, wait, just a little longer." The brown haired boy commands but his voice is so soft that it doesn't even come out sounding like a command, more like a beg, a plead, like Ryan needs this. He probably does.

Spencer's eyes grow heavy, grow lustful but he stays put and watches as Ryan rubs Brendon off. "Just wait...a little longer...please, Spence, please." Ryan nearly moans out, like he's the one whose dick is getting rubbed, like he's the one whose writhing on the couch in pure ecstasty. Maybe this is getting him off, his Spencer, his best friend watching something so intimate. It's the way Ryan pleads for Spencer, the way his voice dips and quivers, it's all Brendon needs to come in his boxers, damp against Ryan's hand.

He came with a cry of "God, Ryan!" before he slumps boneless in the mushy couch. Ryan smirks, deep brown eyes locked with turned on blues. The oldest of the three boys lifts his hand to his mouth and licks the smooth skin, the smell of Brendon tainting his skin, Brendon's come wet on his fingers.

Ryan owns another first.

Spencer stands silent for a few beats before he breaks the spell Ryan has on him and shakes his head, sideswept brown hair falling into his eyes. "I'm sleeping in your bed, I would take the couch but all things considered, I'm taking the bed." He tells Ryan and the older boy laughs.

"Of course."

Spencer leaves them and Brendon is cold and wet in his boxers. That's gonna be so uncomfortable when he has to walk back to his dorm, he could always just leave the boxers here, let Ryan wash them. Knowing Ryan though, the boy would probably leave them dirty and Brendon would probably never get them back.

The beautiful brown eyed boy slinks up Brendon's body, looking like some kind of exotic cat as he crawls into the younger boys lap. Ryan's unbelievably hard, straining through his jeans as he leans forward and kisses Brendon soft. The younger boy wraps his hands around impossibly thin hips and it's way too soon for him to be hard again but that doesn't really stop Ryan.

He nuzzles against Brendon's neck, his own nimble hands slipping to one of Brendon's, removing it from his own skin and lowering it to the zipper of Ryan's jeans. Brendon doesn't really want to move but he does, unzips Ryan's fly and it's no big surprise that the older boy isn't actually wearing underwear.

Brendon jacks him off slow, like Ryan usually likes it. Ryan breathing hot against Brendon's ear, he's moaning loud, loud enough for Spencer to be able to hear.

"He's probably jacking off right now." Ryan breathes soft. "Laying in my bed, smelling our sex, listening to me getting off..yeah, he'll probably come on the blanket or in his hand." Ryan mewls and Brendon works him faster, making Ryan moan out loud again.

More wet words against Brendon's skin and Ryan talks himself into an orgasm. Ryan comes on Brendon's t-shirt and fuck, that's another article of clothing that he'll have to leave behind. Sometimes Brendon thinks that Ryan likes to come on him, claim him in a way that no one else ever has.

Like he's thought a million times before, Ryan is fucked up.

But Brendon likes it.

afterwards they're on the mushy couch together and Brendon maybe has a creative writing class that he should be at in an hour but laying next to Ryan on the overly soft couch, stained with come, this is way better than writing a poem about a moment like this. Yeah, way better.

"Spencer and I used to fuck around." Ryan says after a few quiet moments. It's an anwser to a question that Brendon never asked, that Brendon never really wanted to know about. He looks over at Ryan, their matching brown eyes locking together. "When we were in high school." Ryan continues, eyeing Brendon, trying to gauge the younger boys reaction to this so called confession.

"Used to?" Brendon questions, he's not upset. He can't be upset because that seems so much like something Ryan would do, it's just a Ryan thing, that's just what he does. Ryan nods.

"We stopped after graduation."

"Why?" Brendon breathes out.

"Because he fell in love with me." Ryan leans forward and kisses Brendon soft as he closes his brown eyes, eyes that are just a few shades lighter than Brendon's own.

"Hmm." Brendon makes it a note to never tell Ryan that he's in love with him, doesn't matter that it's already true.

Brendon wakes up a few hours later and he's alone on the couch, he's also missed his creative writing class but he doesn't mind all that much. He's sticky from the come on two different places on his body and Ryan's nowhere to be found. Brendon gets up and stretches, pops his back and checks his cell phone, no missed calls, no missed texts. It makes sense though considering the only people who text or call him are both in the house.

The dark haired boy pulls his jeans back up, buttons them and tugs his shirt down, there's a stain from Ryan but it's not that noticable. Brendon heads back to Ryan's bedroom, the only other room in the house aside from the bathroom. Ryan's bedroom is also the biggest room in the house, most of the space taken up by the brown eyed boys bed.

Brendon thinks he must be getting used to Ryan, maybe starting to figure the boy out because he isn't surprised to find Ryan, his jeans slung low around his thin hips, curled around Spencer's body. The oldest boy has his fingers tangled in the fabric of Spencer's t-shirt, clutching like Spencer might float away if he lets go. Ryan's also got his leg pushed in between Spencer's and his head is on the younger boys chest.

Spencer's on his back, his pants are undone but he's still clothed. Maybe Ryan was right, maybe he was getting off on Ryan getting off but Ryan's other hand is splayed across the pale skin above Spencer's crotch, if Ryan pressed his fingers down a bit more, they'd be brushing Spencer's pubes. Maybe Spencer didn't get himself off afterall. The blue eyed boy has a hand on Ryan's shoulder, letting him know that he's still there, that he's not going anywhere.

Brendon's only known Spencer for two months, eats lunch with him sometimes and they sit together during their shared religion class. How Brendon knew Spencer for a month and didn't meet Ryan sooner is a mystery. Ryan rarely goes to classes though, slips in and out of social situations, he's easy to miss if you aren't really looking.

Brendon really met Ryan by pure luck. He had some notes that Spencer had lent him, notes that he had found Spencer to return and by some sheer luck or 'An unseen force stronger than you or I can even comprehend' as Ryan later put it, Spencer had happened to be talking to his gorgeous creature of a best friend at the time. That's when it all started, Brendon locking eyes with said beautiful creature and that creature smiling so sly that the warning sign should've popped into Brendon's head but it didn't and Spencer introduced them, Spencer started it.

So, Brendon's only known Spencer two months tops and now he's come infront of the younger boy, he's known Ryan less than that, a month at most and he's done so many things to and for the older boy. Ryan told Brendon that he and Spencer were close, it was just a fact. Brendon never asked just how close they were, it never mattered, maybe it still doesn't.

Brendon leaves the two boys asleep, he steals a piece of notebook paper from Spencer's backpack and writes a note for Ryan, promises to see him again later. He doesn't sign it. The boy also snags a cigarette from Ryan's pack on the table, he'll apologize for it later.

*

Brendon doesn't see Ryan for a week and a half. It's not really by choice, it's mostly because he's really falling behind in his classes and he has a lot of homework to make up. Ryan still text's him, sends him lines that don't really make sense to anyone but Ryan. Brendon doesn't think that even Spencer would understand half the crap that Ryan texts to him.

Ryan says he's bored and Brendon suggests that the older boy actually attend his classes. Ryan just tells him that he'll think about it.

"I'm busy with classes too but I make time to see him." Spencer tells him over lunch that day. Brendon takes a bite of his salad and shrugs.

"It's just a week and a half. Ryan's lived twenty-two years without me." Brendon insists, Spencer rolls his eyes.

"But now that he has you...he doesn't want to go a single day without you." Spencer tells the older boy. He's watching Brendon with intent blue eyes. Brendon is quiet, he eats his lunch. He's not mad at Ryan or anything but at the same time he feels like he ranks second, that he ranks under Spencer in Ryan's eyes.

"Does he do that with you?" Brendon questions, takes another bite of his vegetarian food. Spencer is still eyeing the older boy and he sighs, like he knew all along that this conversation would happen.

"The thing about Ryan is...well, he doesn't get so taken with people easily. I'm kinda a given, I've known him long before he started obessing with people. He doesn't find too many people nowadays, so, if you're thinking you're not special or something...well, you're fucking wrong because being chosen by Ryan Ross, that's special Brendon." Spencer informs him, the younger boy's hand pressing against Brendon's shoulder.

Brendon bums a smoke off of Spencer and skips the rest of his classes, he goes to Ryan's house instead.

Ryan lives not far off campus so, Brendon makes it there in record time. He knocks on the door and Ryan shows up seconds later, shirtless, leaning against the doorframe. The brown haired boy looks surprised to see Brendon there. They stare at each other, no words, they're beyond words.

Ryan smiles and grabs Brendon by the arm, pulling him into the house, their mouths already connected.

An half an hour later the two of them are laying pressed so close together in Ryan's king sized bed.

"I felt like I was dying without you." Ryan says moments later, it's not a joke. He snuggles closer against Brendon's body. For all intents and purposes, this is Brendon's first relationship and what a fucking great way to start.

Brendon's never even met anyone like Ryan in all his twenty-one years of life, let alone dated anyone like him. It's hard to handle at points in time but it's Ryan and he's Brendon and they just seem right.

"I won't do it again. I won't leave you for so long again." Brendon promises, he's never been very good at promises but this one he feels like he can keep, Ryan wasn't the only one who felt like he was dying. Ryan Ross is quickly becoming the most important thing in Brendon's life and the younger boy is surprised that he's fine with that, that he isn't afraid at all. Ryan smiles, presses kisses against Brendon's jaw.

"I want to ask you a question." He says.

"Shoot."

"Are you in love with me?" Ryan asks, propping himself up on his elbow and peering at Brendon with those striking eyes. Brendon freezes up, if he's being honest he is, he's been in love with Ryan from the moment they smoked pot together in the alley between the bank and the apartment building, from the moment that Ryan shotgunned him. It's a stupid time for someone to fall in love but that's when it happened.

Brendon wants to say yes, to say it and then kiss Ryan hard but he remembers what the older boy had said about Spencer, about how the two of them stopped fooling around once Spencer fell in love. Was this the ultimate Ryan Ross test? Be with someone and once they fall for him ditch them and go about finding another person to pull into his web.

While Brendon is interalizing Ryan is waiting, too much time lasping for him to think that Brendon does in fact love him. Ryan lets a scowl drape across his pretty face and he's darting back and off the bed, naked and scowling at Brendon.

"You don't..." Ryan says as the supposed realiziation hits him. "What did you use me Brendon? A good quick fuck and that's it?" Ryan presses, his voice raising quite high and just this side of hysterical. Brendon stares, slightly slackjawed. He thinks that this conversation should be reversed. Brendon never even knew they were offically dating, maybe they're not. If they are dating they've only been together for two months now but Ryan's mistaken, Brendon loves him.

"No, Ryan, no." Brendon starts, he too leaps off the bed, naked as well and he's at Ryan's side in seconds. Ryan is backing away, scowling like he doesn't want to be near Brendon. The younger boy presses forward, tries to take Ryan's hand but the older boy pulls his hand away, moves backwards until he's pressed against the shotty wood paneled wall.

"Get away from me." Ryan demands, his voice is tight and his pretty, pretty face is contorted in anger. It's the first time he's seen Ryan anything close to resembling angry, he doesn't like it, doesn't like the feeling of Ryan being mad at him. Brendon moves forward, does take Ryan's hand despite the older boy trying to pull away.

"Ryan, you're wrong...I do love you." Brendon says, his brown eyes are wide and so earnest that all he can hope is that Ryan believes him. Ryan is a blank canvas now, watching Brendon with those large brown eyes that have the power to burn into Brendon's soul, that make the younger boy believe every word that drips off those pink lips.

"You do." It's not really a question, not really a statement, just words, noise from Ryan's mouth. Brendon nods, hand clasped tight in Ryan's, bringing the older boy's hand up to his mouth, brushing plump lips against soft skin. Ryan's fingers smell like cigarettes and lube and like Brendon.

"I was afraid that it wasn't what you wanted." Brendon mouths against Ryan's skin. The older boy still watching him. "I'm still afraid that you don't want it...because of what you said about Spencer, about how you broke it off after he fell for you."

Ryan takes his hand from Brendon's grasp, presses the hot large palm against Brendon's pale cheek. "Spencer's different." Ryan starts, his brown eyes locking with Brendon. The younger boy is focused on Ryan, is listening to him with those wide earnest eyes, like he's prepaired to hear some epic story about the future of the planet.

"Spencer is my prized posession." Ryan starts, speaking calm and slow, explaining. "He's my crown jewel, my favorite, Spencer is like the one thing you would save from your house when it's on fire. That's what Spencer is to me." Ryan tells Brendon and the younger boy is just listening, listening and trying to understand what Ryan was trying to tell him. Attempting to figure out if this is what getting broken up with by Ryan Ross is like?

"I don't-" Brendon starts, Ryan shakes his head.

"Spencer is something I cannot lose, he's something I cannot risk in my life."

"So..so what am I? A second prize?" Brendon presses, it's like Ryan is confirming the fears Brendon had earlier, the fears that Spencer had told him to ignore. Brendon's never been with anyone like Ryan, but he doesn't really want to be someone elses second best.

The brown eyed boy shakes his head. "You don't get it." Ryan says, tipping Brendon's head up. "Like I said, Spencer is something I cannot lose ever. Spencer is like...a part of me Brendon, an irreplaceable part and I love him, I do. I love him because he is me...don't you get it?" Ryan asks, his voice strong and sturdy over Brendon, Brendon whose face is in Ryan's hand, Brendon who is just listening to the crazy that is Ryan Ross.

"You can only love yourself to a certain point." Ryan explains. "That's where you come in. I can love you Brendon, and you're not a part of me. You're something that exists all on your own, you don't need me to survive because you're not me."

Brendon is thinking that maybe Ryan is losing it.

"So, I'm something you can lose?" Brendon asks, his words coming out strange due to Ryan's hands pressing against his cheeks. Ryan shakes his head hard, brown bangs flopping into his beautiful brown eyes.

"No, I don't want to lose you. I don't. But there's a risk involved with us Brendon. You and I are like a game of dice. Roll the dice and they can fall on any different side, we can be together, I want us to be together but at the same time the risk is that we could fall apart. That's the difference Brendon." Ryan continues, runs his thumb over Brendon's bottom lip. Brendon is still listening intently, trying to wrap his mind around all the words spilling out of the older boy. Ryan is so sure, so positive about everything he's saying that Brendon can't help but believe him.

"What are you and Spencer like?" Brendon asks, Ryan quirks his lips, smiles with his eyes, excited because Brendon is finally getting it.

"Like a deck of cards. There's no risk, no surprise. We know whats there, no chance that something else will show up." Ryan explains running long fingers across Brendon's pale cheeks.

And despite how fucking crazy it all sounds Brendon does finally get it. Spencer is sturdy, Spencer is comfort, Spencer is something that Ryan needs to go on. It's like Spencer is part of Ryan's body and without that part it's impossible for the boy to function. Brendon gets it, he really does.

"I understand Ry." The younger boy says, smiling against Ryan's hands. Ryan returns the smile, leans in close to Brendon, their lips mere inches apart.

"So, you love me?" Ryan breathes out, his warm breath caressing Brendon, making him tingle all over. Brendon is nodding.

"I do, I love you Ryan Ross, I do." Brendon says as he leans in those last few inches and presses their lips together, warm and soft.

Ryan doesn't say it back, Brendon doesn't mind because he thinks he can feel it. Can feel Ryan's love, in the kisses and the way Ryan flips them, presses him against the wall, hitches Brendon's leg up around Ryan's thin hip and fucks him till the younger boy is screaming.

*

They fuck three times in the span of two hours, taking turns being slammed against the wall. Brendon thinks he'll end up having a bruise on his back but fuck it, he doesn't give a damn. He and Ryan are laying in a crumpled sweaty heap on the floor of Ryan's bedroom. They should be on the bed, god knows it's big enough but they aren't because Ryan has his head on Brendon's shoulder and their hands are linked together.

Brendon could fall asleep like this and he's close to it, he notices that Spencer didn't come over today. He figures that the youngest boy knew what Ryan and Brendon would end up doing.

"Have you ever read 'Fight Club'?" Ryan asks suddenly and it takes all the strength Brendon has to turn his head and look at Ryan.

"Like the movie?" He asks, voice weary, maybe raw from the screaming. Ryan smiles and scoffs out a laugh.

"It was a book first." Ryan nods, explaining to the younger boy.

"Oh," Brendon starts, "No, I haven't."

"That's a shame." Ryan says, turning his body into Brendon's more, so they're faces are closer. "That book is amazing. Chuck Palahniuk, is my soulmate." The older boy says, his eyes lighting up as he talks about the book and assumed author of his dreams.

"Does he know that?" Brendon jokes and Ryan laughs before he pulls away from Brendon and is standing, moving to the other side of the room. They're both still naked, Brendon wonders when they became so okay with being naked all the time. Ryan dips out of Brendon's line of sight for a split second before he returns to Brendon's side, a slightly beaten up book in hand.

"This is my orginal copy. I got it for my birthday when I was in high school..from my dad." Ryan trails off for a moment, staring at the copy of the book, the cover is nearly blinding, bright red stripes behind white font and a bloody fist behind the stripes, it's a little overwhelming but the way Ryan is looking at the book, like it's the best thing he's ever seen, well, Brendon will give it a chance.

"I want you to read it okay?" Ryan tells him, pushes the book into Brendon's hands. The younger boy nods, sets the book aside and leans forward to kiss Ryan.

"I will."

"Listen though." Ryan starts, "There's a part of the book, a part that's always stuck with me."

"Okay." Brendon says, a little uncertain.

"It's a part where one character burns another, leaves a mark on the other person forever." Ryan is saying, his hand linking tight with Brendon's and maybe the black haired boy isn't liking where this is going. "It's a kiss mark...that's what he leaves behind, a piece of him on someone else forever." Ryan is telling Brendon, his eyes are sparking with excitement and he's watching Brendon's face intently.

"Sounds intense." Brendon mutters out for lack of anything else to say. He's got this weird little feeling in his stomach but he trusts Ryan. He loves Ryan. The brown haired boy nods, leans forward, closer to Brendon.

"It is, oh, it is but Brendon...I want to ask you something."

Brendon doesn't like where this is going.

"What Ry?" Brendon breathes out shaky. Ryan moves closer, lips brushing against Brendon's.

"Will you let me do it to you?" Ryan whispers against Brendon's soft pink lips. The younger boy pulls back instantly, staring at Ryan's eyes with his own wide.

"You want to burn me? Scar me forever?" Brendon wonders outloud, Ryan nods, looks nervous, leans in and kisses Brendon even though the other boy isn't kissing back, Brendon's lips slack against Ryan's. "Does it hurt?" Brendon asks, his voice so low and he can't believe he's even asking this, that he's even considering this. He's never been one to be into self-mutilation, he almost got a tattoo once before he chickened out.

Ryan hesistates, his face falters like he knows he won't win this fight. "I won't lie Bren, it hurts a lot, like a thousand cigarettes burning your flesh." At least Ryan is honest. Ryan isn't pressing more, isn't trying to convince Brendon, he's just sitting there, staring at Brendon with wide brown eyes.

"Why?" Brendon asks, if he's even considering doing this he needs to know why.

"Because you love me." Is all Ryan anwsers, could he do this? Could Brendon let himself endure such pain because he loved Ryan? Because he loved someone who he's only know two months, someone who hasn't even said I love you back to him. Could he do it for Ryan? Scar himself for good?

Surprisingly it only takes him three minutes to decide.

"Okay, we'll do it." Brendon says, allowing Ryan to take his hand and pull him up off the floor kissing him hard.

*

Brendon is kneeling on the kitchen floor. Ryan is standing infront of him, normally this would be something that Brendon doesn't mind but Ryan's looking down at him with eyes that seem to be glowing, a can of what Ryan said is called lye in Ryan's hand.

"It's a chemical burn." Ryan explains, he's talking slow like he's giving Brendon the option to back out, like he wouldn't blame him if he did. "And it will hurt..probably worse than anything you've ever felt."

"Ry, Ryan, Ryan Ross, stop talking." Brendon says as he runs hands through his sweaty hair and Ryan nods, sinks to his knees infront of Brendon with the lye can in hand. Ryan takes Brendon's right hand in his own, palm up as he licks his lips and lowers his mouth placing a soft wet kiss on the soft skin of Brendon's wrist.

"That's what it will look like." Ryan tells him, his eyes trained on Brendon's pale wrist.

"Okay." Brendon whispers, his hand twitches in Ryan's and the older boy strokes his thumb over Brendon's palm. He doesn't care all that much about how it will end up looking, even though he should be, really all he wants to do is get it over with.

"Okay." Ryan echoes as he raises the can of lye, he sprinkles it out and it falls as soft as snow flakes, sticking to the wet mark on Brendon's skin. Ryan had explained the whole thing beforehand, had been talking about lye and all the shit it can do, how it reacts when it's mixed with water. God, Brendon hopes that Ryan actually looked into this and he's not just doing it because it was done in his favorite book.

Seconds after the flakes hit the wetness left by Ryan's mouth, Brendon's skin feels like it's bursting into flames. It hurts, hurts so bad that Brendon's screaming right away and maybe Ryan's trying to talk to him but Brendon just can't hear him, Ryan had told him beforehand not to cry, that crying makes it worse but Brendon doesn't even know if he's crying. He doesn't even know if he's in his body right now.

The pain is so intense that Brendon feels nothing but it. His thoughts are nothing but a voice screaming at him. 'Why did you do this? Why? Why are you so fucking stupid? Those eyes aren't worth this'

He thinks that Ryan is tipping his head back, he must be crying so Ryan's tipping his head back so the tears don't fall on the lye. The boy tries to calm his breathing but nothing is working, he feels like he could die right here, right now in Ryan Ross' house and it would be a relief compared to this pain.

He can just make out the warm press of Ryan's lips against his jaw, his cheeks, his forehead, all over his face. Ryan's whispering things too, telling Brendon to breath, telling him not to think about it so much. Brendon kind of wants to kill Chuck Palahniuk right about now.

Five agonizing minutes later and Ryan is pressing a vinegar soaked cloth against Brendon's burning flesh and the pain eases away, slowly, slowly until it's gone. Brendon's cheeks are streaked with tears and Ryan's still leaning forward, kissing them away and running his free hand through Brendon's soft black hair.

"You did such a good job." Ryan coos into Brendon's ear. "Such a good job Brendon."

Ryan pulls the cloth away after the pain ebbs and Brendon sees the burn mark for the first time. Sure enough it's in the shape of Ryan's beautiful kiss, Brendon's taken aback by it all because it is a piece of Ryan, the near perfect shape of Ryan's lips embedded into the skin of Brendon's wrist forever.

It will be there for the rest of Brendon's life, even if Ryan isn't in Brendon's life for longer than a day, a week, month, years, it doesn't matter because the mark will always be there.

Ryan crawls up in Brendon's lap, wipes away the boy's tears. "Thank you Brendon." Ryan is whispering, kissing Brendon's lips as the boy tries to calm his breathing. "Thank you." He repeats over and over again. It's the first time that Brendon ever really thinks that maybe Ryan isn't just an odd person, maybe Ryan has problems.

All the thoughts are pushed away by Ryan's comforting hands that roam Brendon's body. "I'm so happy that you did it Brendon." Ryan mutters against the younger boy's lips. "So, so happy." Brendon doesn't know why this means so much beyond the fact that he just went through excruiciating pain for Ryan.

"You did it for me and that, that means you really do love me." Ryan says, Brendon freezes, his fingers clutching at Ryan's arms. It was all a test? A test to prove that Brendon really did love Ryan?

"You made me do that to prove I loved you?" Brendon chokes out. He can't believe that, he can't believe that Ryan made him do that because he wanted, needed solid proof that Brendon loved him, didn't trust his words enough, he needed more.

Ryan pulls away from the spot he's sucking on Brendon's neck to stare into the other boy's eyes. "Yeah, but you did it." Ryan whispers, lips brushing soft against Brendon's. "That means you love me. That you care about me just like you said you did and you doing this means something even better." The boy adds and Brendon raises an eyebrow, his whole arm is thumping through a dull ache and he knows that it will hurt to even bend his wrist for the rest of the week.

"What does it mean?" Brendon asks, his voice regaining it's strength but his throat is sore. Ryan leans his smiling face into Brendon's neck and nuzzles against him.

"It means that I love you too." Ryan whispers against the younger boy's neck.

Once again Brendon gets it. Ryan wants people to prove their love to him, even if he loves that person he won't say it, not until they prove that they love him first. To Ryan, people have to earn it, and their reward is getting Ryan's love.

"I love you." Brendon says again, because hell, it's true and he earned it. Ryan pulls away from Brendon so he can see the boy's face. Ryan knows what Brendon wants so he just smiles and says it back.

"I love you too."

They kiss after that and Brendon doesn't miss the fact that Ryan's hard as a rock, that he's been hard ever since Brendon was screaming in pain.


*

Brendon starts wearing fingerless gloves while the burn heals up. It's all red and shiny, his wrist, that was inflamed at first is now easing down, back to normal. The mark is in the perfect shape of Ryan's kiss. The boy isn't ashamed of the mark, he sort of loves it and likes staring at it, just not in class, he doesn't need people thinking he's one of those kids that like to hurt themselves.

He's also started reading 'Fight Club'. Brendon won't tell anyone that he really just skips ahead to the part where Tyler chemical burns the main characters hand in the shape of a kiss. Brendon also won't tell anyone that reading the scene makes him hard or that he sets the book aside and jacks off, thinking about the pain and how turned on Ryan had been during the act, he won't tell anyone that he comes harder than he has in a long while, white streaks across his fingers.

It's on a Thursday when Ryan takes Brendon to meet his drug dealer. They're running low on weed and chances are likely that they'll be out by tonight if they don't get more. They take a cab because Ryan doesn't like to drive anymore, it seems he has an underlying fear that he'll end up getting into a car accident and die or kill someone else. Brendon offers to drive but Ryan doesn't want him to, he wants Brendon to hold his hand during the cab ride.

They end up parked outside of a Starbucks downtown, the cab driver says he can't wait for them to come back out so Ryan just slips him a ten dollar bill and they leave the cab. Brendon can't imagine a drug deal happening here, in a semi-crowded coffee shop full of college kids and hipsters.

There's a dirty blonde hipster girl waitress who eyes Brendon when they come in. Ryan notices and promptly shoves his hand into the back pocket of Brendon's jeans. The girl who has eyes that sorta remind him of Spencer's, just sighs and walks away to attend to other customers.

It takes Ryan a few minutes to remove his hand from Brendon's jeans. Once he does he leads Brendon up to the counter where a young slightly scruffy looking guy is working. The guy looks up from cleaning the counter and sees Ryan, his sleeply brown eyes widening.

"Hey, Ry." He says his voice deep and soothing, the worker tucks his cloth into the pocket of his green apron and plants his large hands on the counter, smiling at Ryan with this great lazy grin. Ryan smiles at this guy and reaches out, threads his fingers through the guys long brown bangs that are pushed to the right. Ryan cards his fingers through the workers bangs desheveling the green hat that the guy is wearing.

"Hi, Jon." Ryan says softly after a few moments, that's the thing about Ryan. He knows how to play off people, he's not really using them, no, he just happens to know how to react around each person, like he's memorized someone elses characterizaiton and he knows just what to say, Brendon's rarely seen Ryan at a loss for words.

So the worker, whose name is Jon is still smiling at Ryan for a few seconds before he notices Brendon standing there. Jon turns his sleeply awesome grin to Brendon and his eyes are really warm and friendly. Brendon had been thinking that Jon was simply hitting on Ryan but no, that's just kind of how Jon must look most of the time.

"Who's this?" He asks Ryan.

"This is Brendon." Ryan replies, scritching his nails along the back of Brendon's neck. "He's pretty amazing."

Brendon grins at Ryan's words, he kind of hopes that he grins like Jon does. Jon's face shows a glimmer of something and he nods.

"Brendon? Yeah, I think Spencer mentioned him before." Jon tells them. Brendon's surprised by the fact that Spencer talks about Brendon when he's not with Ryan, he's also surprised that Jon knows Spencer. Though, really he shouldn't be, Jon knows Ryan so therefore Jon has to know Spencer, that's just how it works.

"How is Spencer?" Jon asks, deep brown eyes sweeping from Brendon's face to Ryan's. Ryan gives a little shrug, one that probably encompasses a hell of a lot more meaning like, 'He's busy with school, he has a test coming up, Brendon and I keep bumming his cigarettes and I probably owe him at least three packs, he's watched me jack Brendon off a few weeks ago.'

"He's fine." Is all Ryan says and Jon nods.

"Tell him I'll give him free coffee if he comes to see me." Jon tells Ryan and Ryan gets this little smirk, like he catches the double meaning that Brendon only sort of fails to get.

"Okay, but I'll be honest. I'm not just here to see you Jon." Ryan starts and his hand slips down, his index finger wrapping around Brendon's. Jon mocks a fake look of hurt on his face and Ryan giggles, it's a sound that Brendon's never heard before and he's surprised that there is a small flash of jealousy in his chest, he doesn't want Jon making Ryan giggle, that's something that should be left only for Brendon.

"You know what I need right?" Ryan asks, voice a few shades lower than before. He lowers his hands down by Jon's, long fingers spread wide, brusing against Jon's fingers. Again jealousy, like a burn in Brendon's chest and again Brendon is surprised. He's never been much of the jealous type, despite him never being in a relationship before he's still never been one for jealousy.

But now, it's Ryan, it's his Ryan, the boy that he got burned for. Brendon scans Jon's hands, Jon's arms, every square inch of the boy's visible pale skin. He's searching for a kiss mark, a burn that matches Brendon's. There's not one to be found but Brendon's not sure why he never considered the fact that Ryan had done the kiss mark before him, Spencer had said that Ryan hadn't been obsessed with someone in a long time.

Brendon wonders if there is someone else, some blurred out person that has a mark that matches the one on Brendon's wrist.

Jon is staring between Ryan and Brendon and he nods, Ryan smiles wide and makes a little noise, he stares at Jon expectantly. "Not here though." Jon tells him, he looks up past the two boy's on the other side of the counter, Ryan and Brendon look around trying to see what Jon is seeing. The dirty blonde haired waitress is cleaning an empty table and staring at the three of them with heavy curiosity in her eyes. "It has to be at my place, can you two wait till my shift is over?" Jon asks.

Ryan says yes without missing a beat, without waiting to hear how long Jon's shift is. Maybe he already knows, he probably has Jon's work schedule memorized. The older boy pulls Brendon to a corner table where they're planning to sit and wait for Jon to finish his shift. People come into the coffee shop, the little bell ringing and Jon throws that sleepy grin on his face and makes coffee like he was born to do it.

"Ryan," Brendon starts, pulling his attention away from Jon the barista and looking over at the older boy sitting next to him.

"Hmm?" Ryan asks, his attention still fully focused on Jon the barista. Brendon's pretty sure he'd hate Jon if it weren't for how the coffee worker seems to exude a sense of calmness to those around him, or he has killer charm, something like that.

"Did you..." Brendon starts, sliding his hand up to cover over Ryan's, it's the hand with the kiss mark on it. Ryan looks at him now, his gaze flickering between the younger boy's face and the arm that bares the burn mark. "Did you use to date Jon or something?"

Ryan laughs at this question, laughs like it's something that's a joke, it's not a joke though Brendon is completly serious. The older boy sees that Brendon is serious and his face falls for a second, settles on blank. Ryan runs his thumb over his own kiss on Brendon's wrist.

"Not me." He says, Brendon tilts his head, Ryan cups Brendon's jaw. "Spencer." The older boy elaborates, his long fingers brushing against Brendon's face.

"Spencer dated Jon?"

Ryan laughs again. "Don't confuse it with love." He says, fingers moving to tangle into Brendon's hair. "Spencer fucked Jon, don't confuse it with love."

Brendon doesn't think Jon looks gay, he looks pretty straight, a normal guy. Not like them, not like Ryan and Brendon and Spencer, not the kind of guy who sleeps with his best friend and burns his love on peoples skin.

"Spencer is the one who made Jon what he is." Ryan adds a few moments later.

"And what is he?" Brendon asks, his gaze flickering back to Jon whose making coffee for and elderly couple.

"He's Jon Walker." Ryan anwsers like it's the simplest thing in the world.


*

Jon's shift only lasts an hour. An hour that is mostly spent people watching and some heavy making out. Brendon's pretty sure that the dirty blonde barista hates Ryan.

At the end of Jon's shift the boy undoes his green apron, takes off his matching hat and does this really cool movie style leap over the counter, using his hand against the counter to push himself off. His keys jingle in his hand and he motions for Ryan and Brendon to follow him out the door, Jon waving a goodbye to the dirty blonde barista on his way out.

Jon has a small car, a car that can barely fit four people inside of it, at the moment it can barely fit three. The reason for that being a box full of random junk is sitting on the spot in the backseat where the fourth person would be. Brendon's squeezed into the backseat next to said box of junk, junk that includes Starbucks coffee cups, clothes, and empty packs of cigarettes. Ryan is sitting in the front beside Jon, Brendon doing the best he can to not be jealous.

Jon has the car running but they're still sitting in the lot, Jon smoking a cigarette like it's the last one he'll ever have. Ryan slides his fingers along Jon's, steals the cigarette from between the mans thick fingers as he takes a few long drags off of said cigarette. Jon looks like he wants to protest but he doesn't, waits till Ryan gives him back the smoke, Jon finishing it and tossing the dying butt out the window.

The three of them drive fifteen minutes away from the the Starbucks, to a shotty little neighborhood with gangs of teenagers hanging around street corners, almost like what you would find in those stereotypical rap videos.

The house is average, normal, they way Brendon pictures Jon to be. Jon shuts off the car, reaches across Ryan and thumps his hand against the glove compartment. The compartment pops open and Ryan seems highly disinterested in this, like he's seen it all before. Jon takes a three quater empty bottle of colonge out of the compartment and showers himself in it. Brendon gags because it's way too strong in the confined space of the car, Ryan doesn't seem bothered by it, again maybe it's something he's used to.

"Trying to quit again?" Ryan asks, smirking at Jon. The barista grins that charming grin and nods.

"You won't tell her I was smoking right?" He asks Ryan, Ryan shakes his head and holds up his fingers in the classic boy scout fashion.

"Promise." He says, Brendon doesn't like inside information when he doesn't know about it. He doesn't know who this 'her' is, he doesn't know why Jon can't smoke, he doesn't know why Jon is a drug dealer who makes coffee and can't smoke.

The three boy's leave the car and wind up in Jon's house. It's average, clean, smells good, maybe Jon has a maid? Inside the house there's a girl curled up on the couch, a magazine in her lap. She only looks mildly surprised to see Ryan and Brendon have come in alongside Jon.

"Hey baby." Jon says to the girl and Brendon is now ruling out maid and is heading towards girlfriend, fiancee, wife.

"Hey." She smiles, bright teeth, as Jon drops his keys on the kitchen table and makes his way over to her, leans down and kisses her lightly. Brendon's confused, hadn't Ryan just said a mere hour ago that Spencer had been with Jon? That the two of them had had sex? Doesn't that make Jon gay? Gay as in doesn't kiss girl's with bright teeth who read magazines gay?

Jon pulls away from the girl and toes off his shoes.

"Hi Ryan." The girl says, her voice sweet and kind. Ryan smiles at her wide and gives a little wave, he plops down in a chair across from the couch where the girl was sitting. Ryan reaches up and wraps his hand around Brendon's wrist, tugs him down into the chair next to Ryan's. By now the girl has turned her attention to him, her pretty blue grey eyes searching his face, likes she's trying to place him in her head.

"I don't know you." She says, her short fingers pressing under her chin as she studies Brendon's face.

"I'm Brendon." He tells her, smiling and he's tempted to stand and offer her his hand because she seems like the kind of girl who would appreciate that kind of thing but Ryan's hand is still wrapped loose around the younger boy's wrist, holding him in place.

"Nice to meet you." She replies, again with the sweet smile that she had given Ryan. Brendon's expecting her to introduce herself, for Ryan to introduce her, Jon whose puttering around somewhere that Brendon can't see, he's expecting someone to tell him what to call her. No one says anything though and the girl turns her attention back to Ryan.

"How are you Ryan?" She asks, Brendon's not focusing on Ryan's anwser, he's focusing on the girl before them. She has dark brown hair that's long and curls into spiraling ringlets down her lower back, blue gray eyes, nice teeth. If no one will tell Brendon her name than he'll give her one himself. He picks Layla, maybe because he really likes that song, maybe because it looks like it fits her but that's what he's going to call her.

Jon comes out from somewhere in the house, his right hand closed around something, probably the weed. Layla doesn't say anything, just watches as Jon passes off the little bag of weed to Ryan. Jon falls down next to the dark haired girl, his arm coming around her shoulders.

Five minutes later they're smoking weed. Ryan passing it to Brendon, who passes it to Jon, who offers it to Layla, who polietly declines and passes it back to Ryan. By now Brendon knows that Layla is Jon's girlfriend, he still doesn't know her real name, he almost slips and calls her by the name he invented for her, he doesn't but he was damn close.

Brendon also knows that Jon is allowed to smoke pot, it's cigarettes that are a no-no for the boy, he knows this because Ryan forgets some rule that he must've already known and he lights a cigarette in the house. Layla shakes her head.

"Not in the house Ryan." She says, "You know how Jon's trying to quit." Jon nods and if Brendon looks hard enough he can see the shadows of guilt in Jon's warm eyes. Ryan stubs out the cigarette instead of going outside. "I want him to live to see twenty-four after all." She states, looks at Jon with a kind of love that Brendon's sure he must look at Ryan with.

Jon leans in and steals a kiss from her and that's how Brendon learns that Jon is older than Ryan.

An half an hour later Jon offers to drive Ryan and Brendon back to Ryan's place but he looks so comfortable snuggled up next to his girlfriend that they decline. "It's not that far." Ryan says, "We'll walk."

So they do walk, the two of them walk past the gangs of teenagers, they're holding hands and none of those teenagers say a word. Maybe because the two of them are grinning like idiots and laughing at things that don't make sense, maybe because they smell like weed.

"I like Jon." Brendon says when they finally reach the Starbucks where Jon works, Ryan nods.

"Jon Walker is like magic." He tells Brendon and he's completely serious. Brendon nods and eyes the clear windows of the Starbucks, tries to see if dirty blonde hipster barista girl is around, she's not and some dark haired guy is running the spot where Jon works, a older woman manning the tables.

"I like Layla too." Brendon adds, the name he invented for Jon's girlfriend slipping out before he could stop himself. Ryan cocks his head.

"Who?" He asks, Brendon fumbles for words, for an excuse as to why he gave the girl a different name.

"Jon's girlfriend." Brendon admits, really, he couldn't have thought of a better excuse at the moment.

"Oh, you know that's not her name right?"

Brendon stops in his tracks in the middle of an abandoned sidewalk and looks at his Ryan Ross.

"What is her name?" He wants to know so bad, it's driving him crazy. Ryan stares at him for a good long moment.

"I don't want to tell you." He states, Brendon's eyes widen.

"What? Why?"

"It would just disappoint you because you like the name Layla, you wouldn't have picked it for her if you didn't. Knowing her real name would just disappoint you." Ryan informs the younger boy.

"Oh," Brendon says and he takes Ryan's hand, drops the subject and starts walking down the street again. He knows theres no point in arguing with Ryan, he'd lose anyway, so he's perfectly content with just going along with what Ryan wants, the things that the boy thinks about."So, yeah, I like Layla, she's nice." The younger boy says.

"Yeah." Ryan agrees but Layla isn't really what Brendon wants to talk about, he wants to talk about Jon, he wants to talk about Spencer too, he wants to talk about Jon and Spencer together. Somehow Brendon manages to bring the conversation around to just where he wants it.

"You said at the Starbucks that Spencer used to sleep with Jon right?" Brendon asks, Ryan nods and gives Brendon a sidelong glance. "But Jon has a girlfriend...so I don't really get it."

Ryan grips Brendon's hand a little tighter. "Remember when I said that Spencer made Jon what he is today?" The brown haired boy asks, now it's Brendon's turn to nod. "Well, that's what I meant." Ryan states like the conversation is over.

"But what does that mean?"

"Jon Walker is twenty-three years old." Ryan starts, still holding Brendon's hand tight. "For all his twenty-one years of life, Jon walker was straight. Then, in his twenty-second year of life, Jon Walker met Spencer Smith and it was magic. Jon didn't kiss guys', Jon didn't think about having sex with guys', let alone bending guys' over the counter at Starbucks and fucking said guy until said guy couldn't walk straight. He never did any of that." Ryan tells Brendon, he's smirking so Brendon knows he's not done yet.

"He never wanted to do any of that until he met Spencer."

"That's it?" Brendon asks and Ryan nods. "But if he did all that with Spencer, than what about now? What about Layla?" The younger of the two boy's asks.

"Don't confuse it with love remember?" Ryan replies, the two of them stop at a busy street corner, cars rushing past them and despite Ryan being afraid of dying in a car crash, he barely bats an eye when the cars get too close.

"I don't-" Brendon starts but Ryan cuts him off.

"With Layla it's love. With Spencer, it's lust, it's fucking, so, don't confuse it with love." Ryan informs Brendon. The younger boy nods and the two of them fall silent.

Brendon doesn't really get it all that much, Spencer and Jon just fucked for the hell of it? Because it was something Jon wanted to try and Spencer went along with it. With Layla it was more? He doesn't really get it but he nods like he does.


*

Brendon tells Spencer that he met Jon over lunch the next day. Spencer's bright blue eyes widen and he chokes on his fish sandwhich, it's Friday, Spencer always has fish on Friday.

"You did?" He asks with watery eyes as he thumps his chest. Brendon looks concerned that he's really choking before he nods.

"Ryan and I went to his house yesterday, I met his girlfriend too." Brendon adds, Spencer opens his mouth to say something but the older boy's brown eyes widen and he raises a hand up, silencing Spencer. "But don't tell me her name because it will disappoint me."

The younger boy raises a perfectly arched eyebrow. "Okay...if you don't know her name what do you call her?"

"Layla."

"Layla?" Spencer echoes and Brendon nods. The blue eyed boy shakes his head and gives a little sigh. "I like her real name better." He states, Brendon opens his mouth in terror that Spencer might actually tell him her real name. "But for your sake I won't say it." He adds quickly, before Brendon starts to whine.

They continue eating but Brendon isn't done with the Jon subject yet.

"So, Spencer." The black haired boy starts, Spencer looks up at him with suspicious eyes, urging Brendon to go on. "So, I heard that you used to fuck Jon?" Spencer chokes again, drops his sandwhich and glares at Brendon. The younger boy is fine though and when he swallows his bite of sandwhich he's still glaring at the older boy.

"Geeze Brendon, way to be blunt."

Brendon supposes that he could of worded the question better, that he could've lead up to it instead of going straight for the jugular but it's a little late for that now. What Ryan told him had been weighing heavily on Brendon's mind. Spencer and Jon used to be together but not really, nothing more than casual fucking right?

Brendon's still foggy on that situation, he's only heard it from Ryan, now he wants Spencer's side of things. He looks expectantly at Spencer, waits for the boy to elaborate. The blue eyed boy sighs deeply and presses his hand to his swooped bangs.

"Jon was straight when I met him." Spencer starts, picking at the fries on his plate and avoiding Brendon's eyes. "He was nice, he was hot but he was straight, or so I thought." Spencer smirks at his food when he recites this part of the story.

"So, what made him change his mind?" Brendon asks, he's dying to know about the events that had happened before these people came into his life.

"Ryan says that it's because I'm so sexy, because I drove Jon wild with my animal magnetism." Again Spencer is smirking, lifting his head and looking at Brendon through thick eyelashes. "But I think Jon was always that way, that deep down inside he always thought about guys', just that no guy was enough for him to risk his sexuality."

"But you were?"

"That," Spencer says, dipping a fry into some ketchup before he pops it into his mouth. "Remains to be seen."

Brendon cocks his head, it seems for every anwser he gets from these people, a million more questions are raised in the process. "I'm confused." The older boy admits.

"Aren't you always?" Spencer teases, Brendon pulls a pout and Spencer rolls his eyes.

"I was apparently enough to lure Jon from the purely straight side, to pull him into bisexuality but I wasn't enough to pull him away from his girlfriend." Spencer says, there's an edge of bitterness in his voice but he just shrugs and continues eating.

"So, you two don't fool around anymore?" Brendon doesn't know why he's pressing it, why he wants to know so badly but he does, if only to ease his mind that Jon Walker isn't trying to bed his Ryan Ross. Spencer's silent for a moment and he opens his mouth to anwser when a little bell dings. They turn to see that a plate of food has been put up on the counter of the colleges cafeteria.

"Tofu burger up." The cook calls and Brendon excuses himself to go and pick up his food. He pulls his fingerless gloves off while he walks, not wanting to get food stained on them. By the time he returns to the table with his food, he's forgotten all about the question he had asked Spencer.

But Spencer is staring at him, blue eyes flickering over Brendon. "What?" Brendon asks through a mouthful of tofu burger.

"You let him mark you?" Spencer asks, his eyes now fixed on the shiny red mark of Ryan's permanent kiss. Brendon sets his food down, he's looking at the mark now too. It's become almost normal for Brendon, something he's used to seeing on his own skin. Ususally his gloves cover the mark so it's only natural for Spencer not to notice until now.

"Yeah," Brendon says giving Spencer a little shrug. "It's not a big deal, I love him so..." He shrugs again as he trails off. Spencer is looking very amused right about now.

"He must really like you Urie, Ryan doesn't usually jump to the burning phase so quickly." He says, a smirk on his lips as he picks at his food. Brendon's a little taken aback by what Spencer says, he thinks about when he searched Jon for burn marks. Apparently his paranoia wasn't unfounded. Up until then he had thought the mark was special, that it was just something between Ryan and Brendon, something that no one else knew about. But Spencer recongized the mark, he knew about it and now it all just felt tainted.

For some reason Brendon had just assumed that Ryan had never burned anyone before him, but if he thought about it, it really made sense. Ryan got obsessed with people, Ryan burnt people, the end.

"You want some of my fries?" Spencer asks and Brendon shakes his head, staring at the deep red mark on his wrist and feeling not so special anymore.

*

"Ryan, can I ask you something?" Brendon says, he's laid on his back on Ryan's bed, his fingers tangled in the sheets.

"Hmm?" Ryan makes a little noise, one that makes Brendon shiver and clutch at the sheets harder, one that also makes him think that it's okay to ask this question.

"Have you marked other people with your kiss?" He asks, his head pressing back against the pillow.

Ryan pulls off of Brendon's dick with a wet pop, looking up at Brendon with dark eyes and red, shiny lips.

"Since when do we ask questions during blowjobs?" He replies, dipping his head and flickering his pink tongue over the head of Brendon's cock. Brendon grits his teeth, stopping the moan from releasing. Brendon knows this is a pretty shitty time to bring up the subject but it had been weighing heavily on his mind since his lunch with Spencer, he would've asked him about it when he got here but as soon as Brendon stepped inside he was pushed down on the bed, his belt being pulled off by Ryan.

"Seriously Ryan." Brendon pants out. Ryan exhales against Brendon's dick, making the younger boy shiver. The older boy slides up Brendon's body, pressing their chests together and their faces are now mere inches apart.

"Why?" Ryan asks, Brendon knows why Ryan asks, because Ryan is the kind of person who doesn't do anything unless there is a reason. Every word he says, every action has to have a purpose, otherwise it isn't worth it. If Brendon doesn't give Ryan a reason he knows that he'll never get an anwser from the older boy.

"Spencer told me at lunch that you have." Ryan tilts his head, licks the damp skin of Brendon's chest.

"Did he say that? Or are you just assuming?" Ryan asks, Brendon thinks about it. Technically Spencer only said that Ryan has a burning phase, he never actually said that Ryan has burned anyone before him.

"Assuming I guess." Brendon says, he brings his hand up and lets it tangle in Ryan's long bangs. The boy laughs and nuzzles his head against Brendon's hand.

"You know people who assume never get the straight facts." Ryan points out, locking eyes with Brendon. The younger boy thinks that Ryan's just trying to get out of anwsering the question. "So, I'm glad that you asked me because that means you love me enough to trust me to give you an anwser."

"So, you are going to anwser me?"

"Little Brendon's shouldn't assume." Ryan replies, Brendon cracks a grin.

"Okay, if I want info out of you I'll just ask." Brendon says "Now, you'll anwser me?"

Ryan nods, leans down and kisses Brendon. "I have burned other people." He states, simple and honest and Brendon thinks that maybe he'd just like to assume things from now on. Ryan notices the slight frown that appears on Brendon's face. "What's wrong?" He asks, Brendon looks away from his older lover, shrugs.

"If you never tell me, I'll never know." Ryan says, long fingers tracing patterns across Brendon's chest.

"I used to feel special when you first did it, like, I was the only person you ever asked." Brendon admits, if Ryan can be blunt so can he. Ryan brings his hands up to Brendon's face, a palm on each side, holding the boy firm.

"You are special." He says, "You're amazing Brendon." Ryan's eyes are burning Brendon's but he doesn't ever want to look away. "You're white, pure, clean, like, a delicate little angel all for me. You're not like the others Brendon, they've got nothing on you."

Ryan leans down and kisses Brendon hard on the mouth, their teeth clicking together. Brendon's hands find Ryan's hips and both of them are hard. So, maybe now Brendon knows that the kiss mark isn't a first time thing but it still is special, it's like an initation into a club, getting to be with Ryan being the main draw of said club. It helps that Ryan was oozing compliments all over Brendon, even if the boy doesn't really get half of the things Ryan says.

"Can I finish now?" Ryan asks, his breath hot against Brendon's jaw and the younger boy nods a hand locked in Ryan's hair as the brown eyed boy slides down the length of Brendon's body, hot mouth sliding over the younger boy's aching cock.
*
Brendon's on his knees on the floor infront of Ryan when the older boy's cell phone starts ringing. Brendon pulls off of Ryan's long dick, looking up at the boy for further instructions. "Hang on." Ryan says as he crawls up the bed and finds his cell, before returning to his spot perched on the edge of the bed, Brendon between his knees.

"Keep going." Ryan says, looking down at Brendon and brushing his palm along the younger boy's cheek. Brendon nods before he takes Ryan back in his mouth. Brendon's never sucked dick before Ryan and it's kind of a hell of a way to start, what with Ryan and his monster cock being his only experience. The younger boy can't take him all the way down yet, Ryan can though, Ryan can deepthroat like a motherfucker and he's been trying to teach Brendon. That's what they had been doing before the older boy's cell phone rang.

Ryan had been instructing Brendon, telling him to keep his throat open, to learn to breath out of his nose while doing it, to use his tongue and make small sounds because Ryan liked that sort of thing. Brendon just likes the fact that Ryan is talking to him while Brendon sucks him off. The younger boy still can't take a lot of it in, he blames it on his small jaw. He can't do it yet but he doesn't hate trying.

Ryan anwsers his phone while Brendon is sucking him off. "Hi, Pete." Ryan says and his voice barely wavers, like he isn't even getting a blowjob right now. Brendon goes down deeper and Ryan bites his lip, tangles his long fingers into Brendon's black hair. "Hmm?" Ryan says, his voice does break just a bit, not enough for the person on the other line to notice. Brendon pulls up on the head and swirls his tongue around, Ryan does groan this time.

"Yeah, yeah." Ryan gasps out, Brendon honestly can't tell if he's talking to him or the person on the phone. Brendon pushes Ryan down his throat, he wants to do so good for the older boy, he wants to make Ryan come down his throat. He manages to get Ryan further down than ever before and he's rewarded with a broken moan and Ryan's fingers gripped tight in his hair.

"Fuck Bren, I'm close." Ryan mutters out, obviously not caring if the person on the other line hears him. Brendon wraps his hand around the part of Ryan's cock that his mouth can't get to and it only takes a little longer before he's coming inside Brendon's mouth.

The black haired boy swallows Ryan's load and pulls off of him. Ryan was slumped back on the bed, breathing heavy, his black cell stuck to his ear. "Hmm? Yeah, I'll be over in ten." He says before he hangs up the phone. Brendon's still on his knees, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth.


*

Ryan ends up taking Brendon to meet his friend Pete. They take a cab again because again, Ryan is nervous and again he won't let Brendon just drive them somewhere. He also doesn't let Brendon pay for things, which okay, it's helpful considering that ever since Brendon lost his job at that smoothie place money has been tight.

Pete lives half an hour away from Ryan's place. A brick faced apartment building on the business side of town. The cab ride costs fifteen bucks and Ryan slips the driver a twenty and tells him to keep the change.

"Why are we going to see this Pete guy?" Brendon asks, as they stand outside of the metal double doors of the apartment building. Ryan scans a list of names next to the door, it doesn't look like he actually needs it as he hits one of the buttons fast, like he already knows what to do.

"We're gonna get some cash." Ryan tells Brendon over his shoulder. They came all this way to borrow money when the cab ride here cost twenty bucks? A crackling, buzzing noise is heard from the doors and Ryan grins and pulls the metal double doors open, his hand snaking around Brendon's wrist and leading him down the hall and to the right.

There's another long hall, boring and beige with a weird smell wafting around. Brendon tries to filter his breathing as they move down the hall, to his horror the two of them stop infront of an apartment door where the horrendous smell is the strongest. Ryan knocks just once, a loud rapping of his knuckles on wood. Thumping is heard briefly before the door is pulled open.

Standing in the door way is a short guy, jagged black hair falling like spilled ink across his brown eyes. He's shirtless and the incredibly tight jeans he is wearing are slung low with a white belt wrapped around his narrow hips, his skin a natural tan and decorated with splashes of ink, the most noticable at first being a necklace of tattooed thorns around the guy's neck. His arms are covered with various tattoos which would probably take Brendon an hour to really catch the details of each one. The guy has another tatoo on his chest, more like lower stomach actually, a weird symbol, like a bat mixed with a heart mixed with a skull.

None of those tattoos interest him that much though because Brendon has caught sight of something new, a new mark that appears before his eyes like magic. A shiny red kiss mark in the shape of his Ryan Ross' lips is on this guy's chest, it's burned into the spot just above the guy's heart.

"Hi, Ry." This guy says with a goofy smile that shows off all his big white teeth. Brendon's pretty damn sure he's frowning as he watches Ryan lean in and hug the shirtless guy.

"Hello, Peter Pan." Ryan mumbles into the skin of Pete's neck, the short guy laughs.

"You know that makes you Wendy right?" He says but he's not looking at Ryan anymore, his light brown eyes are trained on Brendon's scowling face. "And this must be Tinkerbell." He jokes but Brendon finds none of this funny. Ryan releases from Pete's grasp and he turns, facing Brendon.

"No, this Brendon, my beautiful little Brendon Urie." Ryan coos, softly at the younger boy. Brendon lets the scowl slip off his face, he can't scowl when Ryan looks at him like that, he just can't.

"Ah, Bren who gives good head apparently." Pete teases again but Brendon lets it go because yes, he is the one giving Ryan amazing blowjobs, not Pete. Again there is that jealousy that Brendon had felt at the Starbucks when Jon was sniffing around his Ryan Ross and now it was this Pete guy who likes to be called by a Disney characters name. Jealousy was quickly becoming something that Brendon could associate with Ryan Ross.

"Well, come on in you two." Pete says, moving aside and letting Ryan slip inside, his hand still locked around Brendon's wrist. The apartment isn't that great, wooden floors, a black leather couch and chair set, glass coffee table with books and papers and coffee mugs piling around it. There's a kitchen directly to the left of the doorway and Brendon crinkles his nose because that awful smell from the hall seems to be in here too.

Pete closes the door behind Brendon before he slips infront of them again and he's pushing into the living room, plopping down on the couch next to a boy that Brendon just notices is there. He's a slightly chubby guy, with gingery blonde hair that sticks out in odd angles from a trucker hat that he's wearing. He's got these big blue eyes that are showcased by a pair of thick framed glasses. The guy is wearing a t-shirt under a jean jacket and a pair of dark black jeans, a silver laptop in his lap and a pair of large black old fashioned styled headphones on the guy's head.

The blue eyed, ginger haired boy seems to notice that suddenly they have company so he takes the headphones off.

"Hi, Patrick." Ryan says cheerfully, moving to sit in one of the black leather chairs across from the house, much like what happened back at Jon's house, Ryan pulls Brendon along with him but unlike the time at Jon's, Ryan pulls Brendon down into his lap, his long arms wrapped around Brendon's waist.

Pete smirks from his position on the couch and Brendon feels an odd sense of pride that Ryan's being affectionate.

"Hey, Ryan." Patrick replies, not at all put off by the fact that Brendon's sitting squarely in Ryan's lap. "Sorry about the smell." He adds throwing a glance at the Pete guy. "Pete decided he wanted to try his hand at cooking some kind of spagetti thanksgiving fiasco." Patrick says with a long suffering tone. Pete laughs and moves closer to Patrick, resting his head on the bigger boy's shoulder.

"I thought it was a good idea." He pouts. "Anyway, food isn't important right now..unless Ryan's hungry?" Ryan shakes his head, a sly smile on his face. "Well, what's important is that we need to go and make some money." Pete says, Patrick stiffens, looks over at Pete.

"Pete, you said that you wouldn't-" Patrick starts, Pete cutting him off.

"Psssh, I know Trick, I know. Don't worry alright?" The dark haired boy says, his fingers tangling in the ends of Patrick's gingery hair. Patrick makes a noise but sighs, looking like he's long since learned that he can't really stop Pete when he has an idea.

"So, we should go right?" Ryan says, fingers pressing into Brendon's soft ribs. Pete shakes his head.

"Not you Ryro, you got caught last time. They'll be expecting you." The tattooed man says, Ryan makes a soft clucking noise, Brendon laughs.

"What are we robbing a bank or something?" Brendon asks, Pete laughs now, loud and just this side of annoying.

"No, but you're close."

*

Ryan ends up staying at the apartment with Patrick while Pete hauls Brendon out of the apartment and down into a black run down car, one that looks like it hasn't run well since the early nineties. Brendon's riding shot gun with a guy that he's only known an half an hour, a guy who has a matching kiss mark.

"I see we've got similar tastes in body art." Pete says low. He's wearing a shirt now, and a dark grey hoodie but Brendon can still picture the mark emblazoned on Pete's tan skin.

"Yeah." Brendon replies, he doesn't like that Ryan abandoned him, that he left him with this Pete guy. Pete's smoking a cigarette as the two of them sit in the dark parking lot behind the apartment building.

"So," Pete starts, silver smoke slipping out of his mouth with every word. "You let him talk you into it?" He asks, glancing sidelong at Brendon.

"What? No." The younger boy says, he's kind of just assuming that Pete's older than him, but he figures he's right. "No, I did it because I love him." Brendon explains. Pete just laughs, silver smoke unfurling from his lungs much like a dragon breathing fire.

"Love is impossible." Pete says, his voice is holding a bitter tone, Brendon wonders if it's Ryan that made him bitter.

"What about that Patrick guy? Isn't he..your boyfriend?" Pete takes a long drag off the cigarette before tossing it out the window.

"Patrick is my best friend." Pete clarifies as if it makes much of a difference. "But I see what you're getting at, so let me rephrase that. Love with Ryan Ross is impossible." He elaborates, starts the car and the vechical sputters and spits and acts like, it just generally doesn't want to move an inch. Pete tries again and this time the car does start.

"Just because it didn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for me." Brendon's really trying his best not to get all worked up because he has a feeling that it would be what Pete wants.

"If you haven't noticed already, the kid is a little off his rocker."

Brendon did notice, again the little warning sticker flickers into his mind.

"I don't care what he is because I love him."

"You're so devoted." Pete laughs, he's smiling like he finds it all amusing, he probably does. Pete pulls out of the lot and drives down the road, it's dark now and the lights of the city are flickering on. He doesn't know where the two of them are going, Pete didn't tell him and neither did Ryan. All he knows is that he and Pete are going to make some money.

The two of them drive in silence before either speak again.

"Do you regret the kiss?" Brendon finds himself asking the other boy. Pete turns his head to look at Brendon, the car swerving a bit in the process. The streetlights have caught half of Pete's face, bathing the left side in light and the right in darkness, it's a strange thing to see.

Pete shakes his head, "I regret a lot of things in my life but not that." He tells the younger boy. His lip quirks, "Why? Do you?"

"No," Brendon's not lying, he's being honest because he does love Ryan and the older boy wanted this, what Ryan wants, Brendon wants too.

"I was going to get a tattoo." Pete starts, his eyes are back on the road but that's not making much of a difference because the car is still swaying lightly across the empty backroads. Brendon's eyes drift from the speedometer, which is reading five over the speed limit, moving them up to meet Pete's face instead.

"What?"

"I was going to get a tattoo of Ryan's name." Pete says, "Right here." He taps his finger against the spot where Ryan's kiss mark is. "But Ryan didn't want me to, he said that he had a better idea."

"And the kiss was the better idea?" Brendon fills in the blank for Pete, the older boy nods, the speedometer climbs higher. "Did he..did he tell you he loved you afterwards?"

Pete laughs, makes a sharp left turn, Brendon sliding to the left along with the car, almost falling into Pete. "Yeah, he did." Brendon's face falls at Pete's words, maybe it's all just a process, just a habit that Ryan can't break and once he gets done with Brendon, the older boy will move on, burn someone else and Brendon will wind up bitter like Pete.

"Look kid," Pete begins, eyeing Brendon from across the car. "When I met Ryan, he was seventeen years old, he was young and fucked up and he thought I saved him from something. He idolized me, held me up without really knowing what he was doing." Pete is saying, Brendon thinks that he's trying to comfort him but really, he's not doing such a great job.

"But," He adds, "I was just as fucked up as Ryan was. We were eating each other alive...the burn mark was like my final attempt, something I tried to do to save us but it didn't really work out that great. I love Ryan, he's my kindred spirit but I think you two have some potential." Pete tells Brendon and the younger boy guesses that it's Pete's stamp of approval.

"So, you were the first one he did the kiss mark to?" Brendon questions, he's got his hands braced on the car door and the seat, Pete is a crazy fucking driver though he actually manages to keep his eyes on the road as he shakes his head.

"No, there was someone before me."

"Who?" Brendon's desperate to know, needs to know about Ryan's past conquests. Pete shrugs.

"He wasn't willingly to tell, so I didn't bother to ask."

Brendon really sort of hates how no one else seems to be as curious as he is. The younger boy makes a mini timeline in his head as Pete drives them to some district that Brendon doesn't recongise. Ryan had told him that he had gotten the 'Fight Club' book while he was in high school, he met Pete when he was seventeen, probably a senior, so that had to mean that Ryan had done the first kiss mark to someone he knew while he was in high school.

Brendon's really just assuming, even though Ryan doesn't like it.

Pete ends up parking the black junker of a car, in the back parking lot of a laundromat. The laundromat is on the slightly rundown side, not a lot of people inside the building but Brendon can see almost all the machines twirling and spinning through the glass windows of the building.

"Come on Urie." Pete says as he opens his drivers side door and slides out of the car. Brendon looks around confused, was the laundromat just a ruse? A disguise for whatever the two of them are really going to do? A worse thought hits Brendon, what if Pete intends on robbing the business? He really hadn't expected that but now that he had talked to the boy, well, it seemed pretty likely.

"We're not going to rob this place are we?" Brendon is asking, his voice comes out small and again he is feeling young and naiive, too inexperienced to hang around with Ryan's crowd. This with Pete isn't like when he met Jon, it isn't just sitting in a living room and smoking pot, this, this could be dangerous.

Pete bends back down, peering at Brendon with shiny, nearly golden eyes. "You've got quite an imagination." The older boy says, laughing at Brendon's question. The boy ignores the jab Pete took because he's too relieved to care.

"So, were not robbing the laundromat?" He asks one more time, just to be sure. Pete grins, it's nothing like that grin that Jon can pull off.

"No, but you're close."

*

The two of them end up inside the laundromat, an older woman is working there at the time, washing down some of the machines that aren't in use. She barely gives Pete and Brendon a second glance before she goes back to cleaning. Brendon is on edge, he really, really has no idea what in the hell they're going to be doing, mostly he's just following Pete's lead.

Pete's just striding through the business like he owns the place, the off putting grin smacked on his face.

"What are we doing Pete?" Brendon whispers.

"Don't whisper Urie, it makes you look suspicious."

Brendon narrows his eyes but he knows that Pete is right.

"Just tell me what we're doing." Pete slides a heavily tattooed arm around Brendon's waist and gives a little squeeze.

"Nothing too bad, now just calm down." Pete commands as the two of them head back to the backmost row of dryers, Brendon still utterly confused. Pete stops them infront of some dryers, the contents spinning around inside. The older boy digs around in his pocket before he pulls out two quarters, handing them over to Brendon.

"Go buy a plastic bag out of that vending machine." Pete orders Brendon, jerking his thumb back towards a white machine on the opposite wall of the dryers. Brendon nods and does as he's told, going and buying two plastic bags since they were only a quater. "You're smarter than I thought." Pete compliments when Brendon returns to his side.

Pete has Brendon hold the plastic bag open as he reaches up and stops one of the machines. Brendon glances back to where the worker is, she's alternating between where she's cleaning the washers and watching some talk show that's on the tv planted in the corner.

Brendon watches as Pete opens one of the dryer, keeping his mouth shut because it doesn't matter what he says, it won't stop whatever the older boy has planned. Pete digs around in the dryer, moving clothes around, Brendon catches a glimpse of underwear and maybe a few t-shirts but that doesn't seem to be what the boy is looking for. In the end he pulls out a pair of jeans, dropping them into the bag, Brendon's silent as he watches Pete repeat the process.

In the end they have a large trash bag full of denim from the various dryers in the laundromat. Pete takes the bag from Brendon, carrying it out low as they leave. There's still no one in the place beside the worker and she is still focusing on the tv and not on them. They make it out without a problem and their back in the car, Pete throwing the bag into the backseat.

That was it? That was Pete's big plan to make money? Stealing jeans from the laundromat? Brendon really wants to ask the older boy about what all this means but he doesn't. Pete starts up the car, again the car jerks and shakes like it doesn't want to cooperate. Again Pete is driving too fast out of the parking lot, taking sharp turns and slapping Brendon's body against the passenger side window.

"Where are we going now?" Brendon asks as he snaps his seatbelt on. Pete's in the turning lane now, tapping his fingers impatiently against the hard plastic of the steering wheel. He doesn't anwser, just swears and turns quick into the parking lot, there's a flash of headlights from the oncoming traffic, Pete is really cutting it close here, the cars coming towards them head on. Brendon gives a kind of terrified squeal as he awaits the impact of the car that Pete cut off, the car that's blarring it's horns at the idiot of a driver that Brendon is stuck in a car with.

They manage to make it into the parking lot unscathed but Brendon now knows how Ryan got his fear of driving. "You like tempting fate?" Brendon wheezes out, hands locked on the dashboard. Pete turns, gives him a grin as he drives through the rows of the parking lot, searching for a space.

"Nothing like almost dying to make you feel alive." He replies, Brendon scoffs.

"You're crazy." The younger boy mutters out, his heart is beating quick, like its been thrown into fast forward or something. Pete is barely watching where he is going, turning only by instinct or familarity, maybe just sheer luck.

"It's not crazy, not really." He starts, "Taking risks and chances help you feel more alive. There's nothing like knowing that you were seconds away from death to make you realize that you've really got to get out there and live, really live."

Pete was right, he's almost as off as Ryan is.

The inked boy parks the car, cuts the ignition and grabs up the second plastic bag that Brendon had bought at the laundromat.

"What are we doing now?" Brendon questions, ignoring all thoughts of death and driving with Pete. The boy slinks out of the car once again, waiting for Brendon to join him. "So?"

Pete turns back to look at Brendon. "We're going to free people." He tells the younger boy. The two of them slink through the dark of the parking lot, it's some kind of overnight parking lot for a set of apartments across the street. By now Brendon is guessing that freeing people is some kind of metaphor for robbing people, that seems to be what Pete is good at.

Pete stops at a shiny silver Volvo, without hesistation he's checking to see if it's unlocked and to Brendon's complete surprise, it is. "Please tell me we're not stealing a car." Brendon asks, Pete laughs from inside the car.

"No, Tinkerbell, we're not. I already told you, we're freeing people."

"But I don't get it." Brendon says, Pete sighs.

"Just be quiet and watch."

Brendon does watch, he watches as Pete rifles through the unlocked car, putting things in the plastic bag. He is stealing things out of the car but not anything a normal thief might take, it's all random things, like the change out of the cup holder, a cell phone charger, a lighter, things like that.

Ten minutes and eight cars later Pete has a bag of useless shit.

"Why not steal peoples car radios? Or something worth value?" Brendon asks as the two of them slide between cars, only stopping when Pete finds one that he likes. Pete turns back to look at the younger boy, the plastic sack thrown over his shoulder like some demented version of Santa Clause or Robin Hood.

"It's not about stealing valuable things."

"Then I don't see a point." Brendon tells Pete. The younger boy has always considered himself a good person, doesn't hurt anyone if he doesn't have to, definitly doesn't steal things so why in the hell is he even giving Pete shit for not doing the wrong thing?

'The point," Pete begins, stopping and looking back at Brendon. "Is that people are controlled by their material possessions." He says, tossing that shit eatting grin on his face. "It's all about having the best of things, the newest car, the latest cell phone, the best clothes. Life isn't about that Brendon." Pete tells the younger boy, his words are firm and his eyes are shinning.

"Okay.." Brendon trails off, he's deciding to just agree with the other boy as opposed to arguing with him. Pete though, doesn't seem to be done.

"Most times I don't even think people notice what I take." The older of the two boy's says, stopping at a black car and popping the door open easily. "I figure it's like they think they just misplaced it or something. They can't imagine why anyone would bother to take something so trivial." Pete has slipped into the car now, sitting in the drivers seat, golden eyes searching for things to 'free' people.

"It's freeing people of their materialistic chains, one item at a time." Pete tells him, dropping a cd case into the bag. Brendon is leaning down, looking into the car like Pete. The older boy reaches up to the cars passenger seat visor, it seems a little golden angel has caught his eye. Pete reaches up to take it, sliding the bit of gold between his fingers.

"Take this Brendon." Pete tells the younger boy, sliding the angel into the younger boy's hand. Brendon looks at the little golden figure in his hand. The angel is holding a small plauque, one that reads: 'God bless all the people in this car and those who pass it.' Shit, they can't, they just can't take this.

"Pete, Pete, not this." Brendon says, leaning back down into the car, his head next to Pete's. The older boy looks up surprised.

"Why?"

"Just..put it back..please."

Brendon didn't believe in any certain religion but just because he didn't doesn't mean that they should steal the faith from someone else. Pete takes the angel in his hand, reads it and sighs.

"You're serious?" He asks and Brendon nods. The older boy sighs and slides the angel back into place. Pete laughs and climbs out of the car. "Come on Bren." Pete says, shutting the door and motioning his head back to where he parked his own junker of a car.

The duo are back in the car, one plastic bag full of jeans and one plastic bag full of random crap. Brendon doesn't know the next step, doesn't get what their next move is. He wants to ask Pete how this all adds up to making money and wouldn't having a job just be easier?

Brendon had been thinking that they were going back to Pete's apartment but they're not. They're heading further into downtown, Brendon thinks it might be close to where Jon Walker lives and the younger boy wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Jon was in on this too.

Brendon wonders what Ryan is doing at the apartment, if he wasn't so sure that A) Patrick is straight or B) That Pete is with Patrick, he'd be worried that Ryan was screwing Patrick.

He wonders who came up with this idea? If Ryan does this a lot with Pete? If Ryan is actually alright with stealing from people? Brendon thinks that he does, he does have loose morals after all.

"You said it wasn't about the money...then what about the jeans? Why take those?" Brendon questions, he's beginning to think that he shouldn't talk to Pete while the older boy is driving seeing as he turns his golden gaze from the road to look at Brendon, eyes avoiding the road.

"That isn't about the money either." Pete starts, eyes flickering to the road once again. "That is about teaching people a lesson."

Brendon opens his mouth to say something but Pete cuts him off.

"People shouldn't be so trusting of others. Me taking their jeans, that teaches them something, shows them that they can't trust everyone in the world. Next time they'll be sure to watch their clothes, next time they won't trust so much. The money is just an added benefit. I survive off their stupidity."

Brendon is silent the rest of the ride, letting Pete's world values wash over him. If he thinks about it, it was probably Pete who taught Ryan, Pete who filled Ryan's head with his world views, Pete who slowly helped to shape Ryan into the person he was today.

Would it happen to Brendon? Would he change right along with them?

Pete stops at a brick faced building, there's a man standing at the corner, smoking a cigarette, holding a cell phone. It was this time when Brendon sees Pete has his cell out too. The older boy puts the car in park, tells Brendon to wait before he climbs out and takes out the plastic bag of jeans out of the backseat.

Brendon does wait, watches as Pete bounds over to the considerably bigger guy, again with that shit eatting grin slapped on his face. He offers the bag to the guy, said guy looking neither excited nor angry, just bored, just standing there and rifling through the bag. The two of them exchange words, the guy nodding and Pete laughing. There is a brief moment where the large hulking guy does look at Brendon, sly smile on his face, Pete looks too just appraises Brendon with his eyes before he shakes his head.

In the end the guy takes the bag of jeans and fishes out some money before giving it to Pete. The older boy returns to the car, smiling wide enough to see all the white teeth in his mouth. "Here," Pete tells Brendon, handing him sixty bucks. "That's Ryan's cut."

Pete is pocketing his own share of the cash, putting the car in drive and flashing the guy on the corner a wave before the two of them are rocketing off into the night.

*

When they get back to the apartment, Ryan is still sitting where he was before, talking to Patrick who also hasn't appeared to move. The brown haired boy's face pulls up into a smile when Brendon walks in and he's up and moving over to the younger boy in seconds.

"Did Pete treat you well?" He asks, long arms sliding around Brendon's shoulders, their thin chests pressing together. Brendon nods but doesn't get the chance to speak due to Ryan's lips meeting his, a flash of hot tongue and even with his eyes closed Brendon knows that Pete and Patrick are watching.

"He was like my little inner voice." Pete teases, collasping down on the couch next to Patrick. "Why don't you welcome me home like that?" The inked boy asks, staring up at Patrick with wide golden eyes. Patrick sighs and pats Pete on the head.

"We both know why." His voice is soft but there's an edge to it, an edge that Brendon can't place.

Ryan grinds against Brendon a bit, he's hard, he's always hard as of late. "Better be careful Ryro, or Patrick and I will have to pay for this show." Pete's saying, his shirt is off again, inky drawings and the shiny red kiss visible for Brendon to see, he doesn't think this is on accident.

His eyes are open as he breaks apart from Ryan, he catches Patrick's eye, the blondish boy is looking at the mark too, like he's use to it but he's seeing it again through Brendon's eyes.

"You know you'd like it Peter Pan." Ryan mutters against Brendon's lips, if he's not careful he'll get hard too and that's not something he wants to do infront of two almost strangers, he also wants to get Ryan out of here before he decides that he wants to take Brendon's first foursome.

"I have to go to the bathroom." Brendon says, slipping away from Ryan's gangly grasp.

"It's in the back to the left." Patrick says helpfully, Brendon gracing him with a smile as he slips into the darkness of the back rooms of the apartment. There's a little hallway three door's lining the wallpapered white walls. Two of the doors are closed and only one is open, the bathroom.

It wasn't a lie just to escape a rapidly awkwarding situation, Brendon really did have to use the bathroom. While he was in there though, he did notice something, a small flickering light from outside the high rise window. Brendon, ever the curious boy, peeked out said window. The light was coming from a dying lamp post out in the alley, the same alley Brendon now notices was the one that Ryan had brought him to smoke pot for the first time.

The black haired boy sighs, his breath steaming up the glass of the window. Even from the beginning Pete had somehow been involved in Ryan and Brendon's relationship, in the smallest of ways but he was there. That was how Ryan had known what the bathroom windows looked down upon.

*

Ryan and Brendon take a cab back to Ryan's place, Pete trying to tempt them to stay with the promise of a better verison of his spagetti thanksgiving dinner. Ryan was slightly turned on though and he knew that Brendon wasn't going to do anything infront of Pete and Patrick so, he was more than ready to go.

Ryan was sucking on the skin between Brendon's ear and jaw, biting and nipping, the cab driver paying little to no attention to them. Brendon was trying to get into it, he was trying so damn hard. He was pressed back against the right side window, head tipped back allowing Ryan access to the pale column of skin that was his neck. Brendon was trying to focus on the way the older boy's hot mouth was sliding along his skin, wanted to just enjoy the feeling but he can't, he can't because he's thinking about Pete.

More specifically he's thinking about Pete and Ryan together. His mind is replaying all the information Pete had given him that night, taking all the things he already knows about Ryan and combining the two, filling in the little blank gaps when and where he could. Mostly he's worried about the fact that maybe one day he'll end up like Pete.

"Did you like Pete?" Ryan whispers against Brendon's jaw. That's just like Ryan to always unintentionally read Brendon's mind. Brendon pulls back a bit, stares down at Ryan.

"He was alright. His driving skills could be better." Ryan smiles. "That's why you like to take cabs now isn't it? Because of Pete?" Brendon ventures to ask, he's not sure how the older boy will react but hell, it's worth a shot. Ryan is staring at Brendon with that blank stare that he's so good at, the kind of stare completely void of emotion, that Brendon has no idea whats passing through his pretty little head.

"I already feel alive." He replies, seemingly remembering Pete's speech about taking risks.

"What about the burn mark?" The black haired boy asks, his hand slides around soothingly on Ryan's narrow back as he waits for an anwser. Ryan leans against him, pratically laying on top of Brendon in the backseat of the cab.

"I already told you I burned other people before you." He says it almost defensively but Brendon expected as much. Brendon's fingers brush against the back of Ryan's neck.

"I know..but I mean is it something you do to everyone you date?"

"I've only done it three times. I've dated people without burning them you know?" Again Ryan is being defensive, like Brendon's attacking him but the younger boy isn't, would never do that.

"So, whose the third person?" It's the one thing in this conversation that Brendon really wants an anwser to. Ryan wouldn't give Pete the anwser, maybe, maybe he'll give it to Brendon. Ryan smiles nuzzles his head under Brendon's chin.

"That's the million dollar question apparently." The brown haired boy laughs.

"Remember you told me to just ask you things and not assume?" The black haired boy replies.

"True, but if you were assuming, who would you assume it is?" Ryan's eyes glitter as he asks, large hands running over the younger boy's sides. Brendon closes his eyes for a moment, drinks in the feeling of Ryan's hands as he contemplates an anwser, it comes to him rather easily.

"Jon." That's Brendon's choice, despite the fact that Ryan said he wasn't the one who fucked Jon that doesn't mean that he never maybe got Jon to do the burn mark. The way Ryan talks about Jon, calls him magical and touches him affectionately, it doesn't seem too unlikely that it could be older barista.

Ryan smiles again, rests his head against Brendon's chest.

"Pete was the first person I ever loved, the first person who wasn't Spencer." The older boy starts. "He came into my life exactly when I needed him. He opened my eyes to things I could never imagine. That's why I burned him, because he was my first, just like I'm yours."

So, it looked like Ryan was avoiding anwsering Brendon's question.

"But," The boy starts again, his hand sliding to cover Brendon's heart. "If I'd known that I was going to meet you...well, I would've done Pete's kiss mark on his wrist...so I could put yours here." Ryan tells him, fingers pressing down on the spot where Pete had his mark.

"It's O.K. Ry, I like my mark." It's then that Brendon learns that Ryan doesn't ever put two kiss marks in the same place. "But how does Patrick feel about Pete's mark?"

Ryan lifts his head. "What do you mean?"

Brendon shrugs. "You know, they're together so, how does he feel about you having marked Pete?"

Ryan laughs loud in the small space of the cab, the driver glancing back at the two of them, he probably thinks they're insane. "Pete and Patrick aren't together." Ryan states like it's more than obvious for people to see. Brendon just looks confused.

"They aren't? But the way they were acting..." Brendon trails off, unable to finish his thought. Ryan props his chin in his hands.

"See, Pete loves Patrick. Pete loves Patrick more than he loves anyone." Brendon opens his mouth but Ryan pushes on. "But the thing about Pete is that he sleeps around, he's basically the king of one night stands." Ryan tells him, his eyes are dark and deep in thought. "But the thing about Patrick is that he's straight for the most part, the only guy he'd be willingly to be with would be Pete."

"I'm not following you Ryan." Brendon says feeling confused about the people around him.

"Well, Patrick loves Pete, would be with him but he won't be with him until Pete stops sleeping around and Pete, well, he can't be with Patrick because he's afraid of ruining it, of ruining them. It's a vicious cycle between them, they're in love but they can't be together because of their own baggage so, they just keep going the way they are, in love but not willing to risk themselves, even if it means never being with each other."

"Oh," That certainly seems like something Pete would be apart of. It's actually really sad, the fact that they both want it but neither can make it happen, it sort of really makes Brendon appreciate Ryan, the fact that the two of them can be together.

Brendon wraps his arms around Ryan, holding them close together for the remainder of the cab ride.


*

In class Brendon can't concentrait. His mind is drifting around, daydreaming of his beloved Ryan Ross. He wishes that Ryan would come to school more often. If he did then the two of them could see each other between classes and eat lunch together and walk back to Ryan's apartment hand in hand.

Ryan doesn't do much of anything during the day. He claims that he wants to be a writer, so during the day he writes. A battered, beaten up notebook that resides in his room, that's filled with Ryan's beautiful handwriting. Brendon's never read what Ryan writes, he's seen the thin boy writing in it, the book propped up on his bony knees but he's never read it, Ryan's never offered and Brendon's never asked.

Besides the writing Ryan doesn't do much else aside from texting Brendon and Spencer and occasionally Jon and Pete. Brendon doesn't much understand how Ryan can afford an off campus apartment when the lithe boy doesn't have a job and no other source of income other than his share from Pete. Ryan didn't even keep that sixty that Pete had called his cut, he gave it to Brendon, telling him that he did the work so he should keep the money.

"Spencer, how does Ryan have money?" Brendon asks as the two of them walk in the chilly weather back to Ryan's place. Spencer looks up from his cell phone, Brendon just assumes he's texting Ryan because that's usually the case.

"He has his ways." The younger boy replies, avoiding Brendon's question.

"Look, I know about what he does with Pete but he can't live off of that so...what else does he do?" The black haired boy is kind of desperate to know because his imagination is working in overdrive giving Brendon horrible ideas like that Ryan is some kind of high end hooker on the weekdays.

Spencer's lips quirk. "So, you've met Pete?" Brendon nods. "What do you think about him?"

"He's...like a more fucked up version of Ryan."

The younger boy laughs, "Yeah, he's like what would've happened to Ryan if he didn't have you." Brendon sort of feels bad for Pete, it's obvious that everyone sees him as damaged goods but he can't stop the grin that appears on his face at Spencer's words.

"Anyway, back to how Ryan makes his money?" Brendon tries to get back around to the question he really wants anwsered, Ryan and Spencer being much too adept at dodging questions. The two of them stop at a corner, barely any traffic is out at this time of day. Spencer's phone dings again and he opens it up, smirking at whatever message is there. "You talking to Ry?" Brendon asks, trying to peer at the message from over Spencer's shoulder.

The younger boy snaps his phone shut. "No, Jon." He says, avoiding the older boy's gaze. Brendon smiles a tiny bit because Spencer is embarrassed about the fact that he's talking to Jon. "Anyway," The brown haired boy starts, promptly changing the subject, something else he and Ryan are good at doing. "Ryan's dad was in the military so, they left him a bunch of money when his dad died."

"His dad is dead?" Brendon asks, surprised as they crossed the street. Brendon didn't know anything about Ryan's family, only that his dad got him his treasured copy of 'Fight Club' when he was a teenager. He had no idea that he might not have a family, that one of his parents might be dead.

Spencer has a dark look on his face, hands tucked into his hoodie pockets. It looks like he'd rather not discuss this certain topic and for once Brendon is thinking that this is something he doesn't have to know, something that Ryan should decide whether or not to tell him.

"He died about a year ago." Is all Spencer says and his phone is dinging again, Brendon lets him change the subject.

*

"We've gotta go back to Jon's place." Ryan says, he's sitting in Brendon's lap. The two of them were sitting and smoking pot, Ryan dragging in a hit before he tilts his head and finds Brendon's lips, shotgunning him for the millionth time.

"We're not out of weed yet." Brendon says, through his haze of smoke. It's true, they're almost out of weed but not yet. Ryan nods.

"I know but lets consider this a anticapatory purchase." Ryan says, staring off into the distance as he takes another hit of the joint they're passing back and forth. Brendon takes the joint from Ryan's long fingers, takes a drag with his big puffy lips before he exhales. He doesn't mind, he likes Jon, he likes Layla. And it gives him a reason to ask Jon about the kiss mark.

Two hours and one phone call later Brendon and Ryan are back at Jon Walker's average little house. By the time the duo arrive Jon's been out of work for an hour and a half, he's in the kitchen with Layla, helping her make dinner. Brendon notices that there are three plates too many.

"Jonny." Ryan says softly, moving up to Jon and hugging him with spindely arms. Jon pats Ryan's brown head affectionately, tussling already mussy hair and Ryan just smiles, Brendon works with all his might not to get jealous. Ryan moves to Layla next, she's facing away from him, stirring something in a frying pan. Ryan slides behind her gives her a hug, his chest to her back.

"Ry, you're going to stay for dinner tonight right?" She asks, again that sweet voice and caring nature spilling out around the three boys.

"Depends on what you're making." The boy replies, sliding away from her to peer into the frying pan. "looks good, I guess I'll stay." he adds with a smirk. Layla turns her head to stare at the lean boy.

"Good, you're too thin." She notes, stiring up the contents of the pan. "Brendon, you'll stay too right?" Layla asks, turning around to look at the boy whose standing awkwardly in the kitchen, wringing his hands together. She's smiling at him with soft blue eyes and that nice bright smile.

"Yeah, I'll stay too." Brendon's going to stay wherever Ryan is, especially if Jon Walker is involved. Layla smiles again before she turns back to the food. Jon slides over to his girlfriend, steals a quick kiss, his hand finding her hip.

"I'm going to get Ryan his stuff. Think you can handle the rest of the cooking?" He asks, she nods, her hand finding his broad chest and he kisses her again.

Jon leads them to the living room, tells them to wait there while he gets the drug that Ryan's seeking. Ryan takes Brendon's hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Want me to tell Layla that you're a vegetarian?" He asks, brushing his free hand across Brendon's temple. The younger boy gives a shrug. He's not paticularly hungry so he doesn't necessairly have to eat but he might seem rude otherwise.

"Sure."

Ryan kisses Brendon's temple, where his fingers had just been, before he leaves the room, heading back into the kitchen. It figures that once Ryan is gone Jon would come back. He has the baggie, the precious weed and Brendon finds himself grinning just at the thought of it, though he might be grinning because Jon is. The older boy scans the room, completely void of the beautiful creature known as Ryan.

"Where's Ross?" He asks, Brendon ignores the nickname and the jealousy that seems to arise with it.

"In the kitchen, informing your girlfriend that I'm a vegetarian."

Jon raises an eyebrow. "Since when is he so considerate?" Brendon can tell that the older boy is joking, that he seems to exude good natured jokes standing here in his living room in a light blue t-shirt and jeans. Brendon is standing awkwardly, he likes Jon, despite the jealousy he does like the older boy but right now, right now his mind is wrapped up again, wrapped up in the fact that Jon might have the kiss mark hidden somewhere on his body.

"Something wrong Bren?" So, now Brendon has a nickname from Jon too. Brendon shrugs, he can't just come out and say, 'Oh, hey, has Ryan ever burnt his kiss mark on you?'. Jon slides up to Brendon's side, heavy arm coming to rest around Brendon's narrow shoulders. "Wanna talk about it?" He asks, warm brown eyes burning into Brendon's.

The younger boy just stares up at Jon. Again he believes that Jon just exudes a sort of calm trust, that Brendon feels like he can tell him anything in the world and it would be alright.

"Actually," Brendon starts, intent on getting down to whether or not Jon has the kiss mark.

"Yeah?" Jon looks a little concerned, his arm still heavy on Brendon's thin frame.

"Well, I wanted to know if you-" Brendon gets cut off by a series of sharp knocks on the front door. Jon doesn't seem alarmed nor surprised at the knocking as he slips away from Brendon, going to the door and leaving the younger boy's question hanging in the air.

Jon opens the door and for a split second his frame is blocking the person in the doorway. Jon moves though and after that the very familar figure appears to Brendon. Spencer is standing in the doorway.

"Always arriving fashionably late Spencer?" Jon jokes as he moves aside, allowing Ryan's best friend to enter the house.

"Please, like you weren't counting down the seconds till I got here?" Spencer half scoffs but it comes out wrong, almost like he's trying to be seductive. Jon pulls him into a tight hug, their bodies obviously familar with one another. They break apart once Spencer spots Brendon over Jon's shoulder. "Brendon? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, hello to you too Spencer." Brendon replies, he crosses his arms over his chest and stares at Spencer with a knowing smile.

"Brendon and Ryan are over too." Jon says, taking a hold of Spencer's wrist and leading him down into the living room. Spencer's eyes drift from Brendon to Jon, giving him a look that's half parts annoyed and curious.

"Would've been helpful if you had informed me earlier." Spencer sighs out, he comes to a stop at Jon's side, his own arms crossing. Jon is smirking at Spencer, it seems Jon has the power to completely ignore Spencer's glares.

"I told Ryan, I figured he would tell you."

"Spencer? Spence! I knew I heard you." Ryan is saying as he slinks back out of the kitchen, Layla on his heels. In seconds Ryan is in Spencer's arms, hugging the younger boy close. Brendon rolls his eyes, Ryan had just seen Spencer that morning it wasn't like he had missed the boy that much in the small amount of time.

Ryan pries himself away from Spencer, moving back to Brendon's side and taking his hand once again. Layla proceeds to take Ryan's place, hugging Spencer and kissing him softly on the cheek, not at all how Brendon was expecting her to greet him, that's not usually how a person greets the guy that used to fuck their seemingly straight boyfriend. A new thought occures in Brendon's mind, maybe Layla doesn't know about Spencer and Jon's shared past?

Brendon suddenly feels guilty, like he's part of some huge deceitful lie to a girl who honestly doesn't deserve it. "You're going to eat dinner right Spence?" Layla asks, her eyes twinkling at the youngest of the four boy's.

"If you made it of course I will." He tells her with a smile. Layla and Spencer are staring at each other with matching smiles, Jon looking on with his own small grin.

Brendon feels this sudden weird tension in the room and there is silence between all of them. The black haired boy feels like he's missing something, something that Ryan apparently is oblivious to or already knows about because he's just standing there blissfully content.

Dinner is ready five minutes later, Brendon shaking off that weird feeling and enjoying his first decent meal in weeks.

Dinner is not much better in not giving Brendon that weird feeling he had earlier. Jon, Layla and Spencer all seem like they're in on some joke that Brendon just can't understand. It could just be that Brendon's paranoid. Their behavior isn't all that strange, it could just be attributed to the fact that they're good friends, easy and comfortable around one another.

After dinner is over they all retreat to the living room to smoke pot. Once again Layla doesn't partake but Spencer does, which isn't surprising. Layla is smushed inbetween Jon and Spencer on the couch with Ryan and Brendon taking their usual position in the cushy arm chairs.

Brendon takes his hit off the bong that Jon is passing around, he hands it over to Spencer before he sinks back in his seat, relaxed. It takes him a few minutes to notice that there is something moving along the floor, a cat. A dark brown cat whose slinking along the floor, staring at the people in his area. Brendon didn't know Jon and Layla had a cat and he wants to pick it up and pet it but he doesn't, choosing to watch it instead.

The cat sits by Spencer's socked foot that's dangling off the couch, rubbing himself against Spencer's leg. The youngest of the boy's leans down and skritches his fingers along the cat's head, the animal arching up into his touch. When the cat is bored of Spencer it moves on to Jon, slinking up the arm of the couch to rub against the boy's arm. When the cat doesn't get what it wants from Jon it moves on to Ryan and than Brendon. Brendon plays with the kitty until the bong gets passed back to him, the cat quickly loses his interest and finally moves up to Layla, crawling up into the girl's lap and laying in a tight little circle.

Brendon watches with heavily lidded eyes as Layla pets the cat and even when the girl's attention isn't focused on it, the creature never strays. It's then that Brendon realizes that the cat really reminds him of Ryan. How the creature with the small frame and big eyes will go to different people to be stroked, loved and comforted but also how at the end of the day the cat will sleep curled up next to the one it loves the most. In this case, Ryan would be the cat and Brendon would be Layla.

Brendon wants to tell Ryan about this epic revelation but it's his turn for the bong again and well, somethings can wait.

*

At some point during his comparative thoughts between Jon's cat and Ryan, Brendon figures he must've fallen asleep because he wakes up what feels like at least an hour later, to a nearly empty living room. Nearly empty because Ryan is in the room with him, curled in his chair passed out. The couch where Jon, Layla, and Spencer had been sitting is empty and there's no sound from the kitchen so Brendon doesn't think that they're in there.

Brendon stands, trying to be quiet as not to wake up his sleeping beauty. He wonders if Spencer went home and Jon and Layla went to bed, expecting Brendon and Ryan to be passed out until the morning? There is a little light coming from somewhere beyond the living room, what is probably the bedroom or the bathroom. Brendon doesn't want to be nosy but he wants to alert them that he is actually awake and not passed out from the epic weed they had smoked.

The boy pads softly towards the light, passing the bathroom on the way so he knows that the light must be emitting from a bedroom. He's figuring that yeah, Jon and Layla are probably already asleep or close to it so, he'll just tell them that he and Ryan will catch a cab home.

The door to the bedroom is cracked open and a small dim lamp is on, maybe one of them is reading? Either way Brendon presses himself inside the door, clearing his throat once he's inside. What he sees in the room is something he did not expect.

There on the bed was Layla, stark naked and spread open. A man between her legs, holding them open but that man wasn't Jon.

It wasn't Jon but it was Spencer. Spencer who was balls deep inside of Jon's girlfriend, Spencer who used to fool around with Ryan and Jon, Spencer, who Brendon was pretty damn sure was gay, that Spencer had his hands gripped tight on her thighs, holding her legs spread wide. This is intense, this is intense and fucking awkward, he wasn't just catching his friends fucking, he was catching his friends cheating. And it wasn't like Spencer and Layla didn't notice because they did. Spencer's head had whipped around, his blue eyes locked with Brendon's brown's and Layla too, she was panting and staring at Brendon with intense lustful eyes.

Brendon doesn't know what to say, what can he say? He was right all along, there was something going on but it wasn't Layla who was in the dark, it was Jon.

"I-I told you we should've closed the door all the way." Spencer says, his voice hoarse and his hands still on the girl. He's looking at Brendon but the older boy is guessing that he's talking to Layla. Brendon just cannot believe that Spencer would do this, would fuck his friend's girlfriend, hell, he's having a fucking hard time believing that Layla would cheat on Jon..she had seemed like such a sweetheart. He also can't believe that Spencer isn't even attempting to stop, isn't trying to explain himself to Brendon.

Spencer finally does start to slide out of the girl, Layla groaning a bit as he does so.

"Spencer, don't stop." Brendon hears a voice that he isn't expecting. He whirls around and there is Jon sitting naked in a chushy chair like the one Brendon had fallen asleep in. Jon was naked and hard and sitting here watching Spencer fuck his girlfriend. Brendon was offically lost in some kind of porn movie.

"What...what the fuck?" Brendon mutters out, he notes that Spencer had listened to Jon's instructions, that he has eased himself back into Layla but his hands have come down, letting her legs fall closed gracefully. So, Jon was in on this, so, maybe this was threesome and Brendon was interrupting...Brendon is maybe thinking that he should get out of here.

"Sorry..sorry..I'll just." Brendon shields his eyes with one hand, he doesn't think he'll ever forget the naked flashes he did see but he's trying to be poliet. He uses his free hand to point towards the door, the one he starts heading out of.

"Wait, Brendon." Jon is saying, his voice deeper than Brendon is used to. The black haired boy does wait, standing stock still in a room full of three naked people. He has no idea what Jon's going to say, how this situation is even going to work, all he knows is that the room smells like sex and he's seen three of his friends naked.

"Jon.." Spencer says from his position on the bed. His voice sounds almost alarmed, like, whatever it is that Jon's thinking is something that Spencer knows and doesn't want.

"It's ok, Spencer." Jon replies, his dark brown eyes leaving Spencer and locking with Brendon. "I know this looks weird Bren but...I think you should stay." He says, dead seriousness in his low voice.

"Jon." Spencer repeats, now he's sounding nervous, looking at Jon like's he's worried about whats going on in the older boy's mind, like he doesn't want Brendon in on this. Jon and Spencer are having this silent conversation, words passing through looks and eyes. Jon must win this conversation because Spencer looks away from the older boy, looks down at Layla, their naked bodies still intertwined.

Jon turns his attention back to Brendon. "Bren, it's ok." He says, patting the arm of the chair that he's sitting in. "Just come sit down, just watch Spencer fuck her. They're beautiful when they fuck." Jon is saying, eyes trained on the scene on the bed.

Brendon doesn't know what's going on here but he's being invited to stay? He has no fucking idea what to do, there isn't exactly a rule book for what to do when someone offers you in on a foursome of sorts. He doesn't even know if he can do it, Can he watch Spencer, his friend fuck a girl that he barely knows? Jon wants him to stay but he doesn't know Jon all that much either.

"Is it ok if he stays baby?" Jon breathes out, his voice drastically different when he's turned on. Brendon guesses that he's talking to Layla because she's the one who anwsers.

"Yeah," She pants out, her small hands on Spencer's back. It looks like she doesn't care what happens just as long as Spencer gets back to fucking her. Jon gives a small laugh, his hand coming up to wrap around Brendon's wrist, pulling him down onto the chair that he's sitting in, Brendon perched on the arm of the chair. Jon's hand leaves Brendon's skin, the older boy's gaze locked on Spencer and Layla.

So, Brendon isn't moving, he's guessing that his body has made the decision for him, that he's going to stay and watch whatever it is that's happening. It's not like it's a hard thing to do, this situation is fucking hot now that Brendon is allowing himself to embrace it, it's not something he's going to hate watching.

Spencer is still looking down at Layla, their eyes locked together. He turns back and catches Brendon's gaze, his cheeks flushing and he clears his throat. Rarely has Brendon seen Spencer embarressed but he's also never watched Spencer have sex so, he guesses that there's a first time for everything.

Seconds later Spencer seems to get comfortable enough to resume what he was doing before Brendon came into the room. Brendon watches as the youngest of the boy's run his hand through Layla's dark hair, silently asking her if she's alright. The boy's hips circle slowly before he thrusts shallowly inside of her. A light airy moan escapes from the girl's throat and Brendon can feel himself hardening.

"She likes it hard." Jon is saying, he gives Brendon a sidelong glance. "She likes it rough and Spencer always fucks her so good." The older boy says. Layla moans again, maybe from Spencer or maybe from what Jon is saying. Brendon's attention is back to her and Spencer. He was right, it's hot and Jon's commentary is making it that much hotter. The black haired boy never pegged Jon as the kind who would want to see his girlfriend with another guy, Brendon doesn't think he could do that, if it was Ryan he couldn't do that.

Spencer is holding her legs open again, holding her wide for Brendon and Jon to see. He's fucking her hard like Jon had said, the brown haired boy's hips snapping up against her's, the whole length of his erect cock sliding in and out of her. Layla's fingers bite into the blanket as Spencer pounds into her, her body arching up and she's crying out for more.

Jon slides his hand lazily up and down his own rock hard cock, Brendon trying to not stare at the older boy's impressive cock. Jon is biting his lip and watching as his girlfriend gets fucked into the mattress. Spencer's hands have drifted to the girl's hips holding them as he drills into her. Brendon is feeling like he's trapped in a porn movie, he doesn't know what to do with himself. He's hard and aching against his jeans but he's not really comfortable whipping his dick out right here infront of them, they probably wouldn't notice but still.

"God...fuck, Spence." She cries out, her sweet voice high with pleasure. Spencer grunts, bends over her, pushing her hips up and back and he claims her mouth in a rough kiss, his teeth grazing her soft lips. Slick sounds fill the room, the wet slide of Spencer inside of the girl, the equally wet sound of their kisses, the slapping of skin on skin, the small moans from the girl and grunts from the boy.

Spencer breaks his kiss with the girl, his head tipped down, bangs covering his eyes as he thrusts into the girl's body. Layla's hands find Spencer's back, nails digging in little streaks and Spencer makes a choked off moan kind of sound, hips jerking.

He sits back on his heels, pulling Layla's body to him. The two of them impossibly close, her legs wrapped around his waist as Spencer pulls her on to his cock.

Brendon finds himself staring slackjawed, the heel of his palm rubbing unconciously against his dick through his jeans. This is one of the hottest things he has ever had the luck to be involved in and he finds himself wanting, wanting to be with them..either of them, Spencer or Layla, it didn't matter. But all Jon said was to watch, to watch the two of them go at it. He knows that this can't be the first time this has happened, the two of them are too familar with one another. Brendon wonders just how long this has been going on?

He doesn't know how long Spencer had been fucking Layla before he showed up, he figures it had been a good amount of time considering the way they're going at it now, hot and desperate like they need to come soon. Layla is still making those little noises, groans and gasps that serve to drive all three men wild.

"Fuck, fuck, Spencer..Spencer." She was crying out for him, Brendon could see her shaking and he knew that she was coming. Spencer was grunting, fucking into her harder before he froze inside of her, coming. The boy slumps down over Layla, kissing her soft and lazy as they catch their breaths.

Jon is up and moving over to the bed, kneeling on the soft mattress, towering over the two well fucked people on the bed. He leans down, running his thick fingers through Spencer's hair, tipping the younger boy's head back and kissing him soft and hot, Jon's tongue sliding into Spencer's mouth. Layla is watching with dark eyes, her pupils blown. The oldest boy breaks away from Spencer's mouth, moving down to connect with his girlfriend, kissing her softer than he had done to the boy.

Brendon is sitting awkward, watching a scene that is too intimate. He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't be seeing this, this is obviously something for them. But Spencer and Layla are done fucking so, maybe now Jon will ask Brendon to leave, thank him for his time and let him go back out to the living room where Ryan is sleeping.

Spencer slides out of Layla and rolls down on to the bed next to her, laying stretched on his back. Brendon is nowing seeing Spencer's cock for the first time, long and soft and it seems that both Spencer and Jon are well endowed people. The blue eyed boy locks eyes with Brendon, his soft baby face blank, eyes lidded with after sex glow.

Jon breaks away from his girlfriend, staring up at Brendon. "Come here, Bren." The older boy says, motioning Brendon towards the bed. The black haired boy is surprised, Jon said just watch but now he wants him over on the bed, over where to where Layla is still laying prone and satisfied.

Brendon does get up, making his way over to Jon, coming close enough for Jon to wrap his hand around the younger boy's wrist once again, maybe ensuring that he doesn't go anywhere. Brendon is trying hard not to stare down at Layla's naked body, looking into Jon's brown eyes instead. His heart is beating quick because now he really had no idea what was going to happen, if he was still playing by porno movie standards he had an idea of what might happen but he's not daring himself to believe it.

"Do you want to be with her?" Jon is asking, fingers rubbing softly against the skin of Brendon's wrist, where Ryan's kiss mark is raised against the smooth pale flesh.

"What?" Brendon's heart stops, is Jon seriously asking what he thinks he's asking? Maybe he's not the only one playing by porn standards.

"Do you want to fuck my girlfriend?" Jon asks again, he releases Brendon's wrist, moving on to the end of the bed close to Layla's slightly spread legs. Brendon can't help but watch Jon's hand as it snakes up his girlfriend's thigh, pressing ever closer to her core.

"I-" He doesn't know what he's supposed to say. He knows what he wants to say, he wants to say yes, he wants to fuck her like Spencer had because he's never done that before. He's never had sex with a girl. It would be easier to anwser, to even think if he could stop focusing on Jon who is now pressing his fingers inside of the girl, Layla groaning under him.

"She wants you to." Jon is saying, he has Layla spread open again, his fingers rubbing against the girl's clit. Layla's fingers tighten in the blanket again and she's panting, her blue eyes locked on Jon. Brendon figures that she's still sensitive, still sore and overstimulated from when Spencer had taken her, she has to be and now Jon is rubbing her slow, making her body arch up into him. Brendon dares a glance at Layla, the girl's beautiful blue eyes are closed now, cheeks flushed and she's biting her lip.

"She told me she wanted to fuck you the first day she met you." Jon explains, looking up at Brendon while he continues to rub his girlfriend. She mewls and her hips jerk and Brendon cannot look away. He's kind of in awe at what Jon is saying, telling him that Layla wants to fuck him, wanted to fuck him when he met her three days ago. "Didn't you baby?" He asks, still rubbing her.

"Yes." She hisses out, arching again as Jon rubs her a little faster.

"Do you want him to fuck you now?" The boy's asking, his voice low. He drops his mouth to Layla's thigh, biting lightly at the soft pale skin there. Layla's eyes open and now she's looking at Brendon with a longing in her eyes.

"Ah...yes, please, Brendon..." She groans out. Jon lifts his head, eyes on Brendon as he awaits an anwser. Brendon is just standing there like an idiot, unsure of what to do. He wants to have sex with her, he does and he thinks that he would be saying yes right now if not for Ryan. Looking was one thing, Ryan couldn't get mad if he was just looking but doing it himself, that was something that Ryan could get mad about. He still wants to do it, if it didn't mean that he was cheating on Ryan.

On the otherhand it was a girl. Maybe Ryan wouldn't care if he fucked a girl? It wouldn't mean anything like Ryan had once said 'It's just fucking, don't confuse it with love.' Maybe Brendon could use that excuse on the boy?

Brendon hesitates for a second before he decides. "Ok. I'll do it." His voice comes out thick, Spencer is watching him, Jon is watching him and Layla is smiling seductively. Despite him saying that yes, he would sleep with Jon's girlfriend, Brendon is still nervous, Ryan being the only one he's ever slept with.

"Ok." Jon echoes. He removes his fingers from inside of Layla, his thick fingers slick with the girl's come. Jon moves off the bed, going to stand on the other side of the bed, facing Brendon. "Spence, come on." The older boy says, sliding his hand over Spencer's thigh. Spencer already seems to know what to do, sliding down off the bed settling on his knee's, bending himself over the bed.

Brendon is watching with curious brown eyes, Jon notices the black haired boy's confused gaze and he smirks. "Spencer always fuck's her so hard. Don't you think it's time I return the favor?" He asks but Brendon knows he's not expecting an anwser. The black haired boy is still standing there watching as Spencer is waiting to be fucked, he's going to see Spencer get fucked by Jon and if it's possible, he grow's even harder.

"Brendon, get undressed." Layla's voice breaks into Brendon's mind and he looks down at her. She's staring at him with intense blue eyes, waiting for him. Brendon does, sliding his t-shirt up off his head, his brown eyes switching quickly from Jon and Spencer to Layla and back again.

Brendon undoes his jeans sliding them down his narrow hips. He's watching with wide eyes as Jon drops down behind Spencer, sliding his slick fingers inside of the younger boy, stretching him, getting him ready. It's all kind of clicking into place, this is what Spencer must've meant when he said that he and Jon were fucking around, this is what he meant when he said that he wasn't enough to make the older boy gay. This must be a regular thing and now Brendon was being pulled into it.

The black haired boy is now naked, all pale and beautiful. Brendon looks back at the cracked open door, wonders if Ryan might wake up and come looking, what if he catches Brendon in the act? Will he be able to talk his way out of it? The boy doesn't have much time to think about it because Layla has her hand on his wrist, her fingers trailing over the kiss mark. She's sitting up and tugging him down to her. She get's a condom from somewhere and hand's it to him, sliding it over his rock hard dick.

Brendon's nerves intensify but he's still turned on, god, is he turned on. he's never ever been with a girl...never even kissed a girl before. Only Ryan, it's only ever been Ryan. But these firsts were one's that Ryan couldn't have, these first's were going to belong to Layla.

She spreads her leg's for him, already wet and ready to be fucked for the second time that night. Her hands slide up his sides, feather soft fingers brushing against his skin and he shivers, thinks of how different she feel's compared to the slight edges of Ryan. Brendon slides between her leg's poised at her enterance. Layla's warm hands still glide up and down his sides, heading upward's until they wind around Brendon's neck. She's pulling him down and kissing him, their tongues meeting and there's Brendon's first kiss with a girl. Her mouth is warm and soft and kissing a girl is definitly different than kissing a boy, she taste's different, not at all like Ryan.

Brendon slides into the girl, she's hot, so fucking hot and tight, not as tight as Ryan but still good. She groans against his lips, Brendon's hands finding her hips, pulling her tight to him. He's enjoying how it all feels different, she's softer, more tender and Brendon's glad that he's at least getting to see what it's like.

Another moan echoes around the room, Brendon breaking away from Layla's lush lips to see Spencer with his head turned into the blanket's, mouth open and fingers digging into the bed as Jon slides his fingers into him. The older boy's hand on his hip holding Spencer steady.

Brendon's hips buck, pushing himself further into the girl beneath him. He's with the girl but his mind is stuck on the two men in the room. It's the thought that Jon is preparing Spencer with Layla's come, that thought should be off putting but it's not, not to Brendon and it makes his hips buck again, fucking into Layla.

"You can fuck her hard if you want Bren..she like's it." Jon is saying as he slick's himself up, pushing his hard cock slowly into Spencer.

"Fuck, Jon." Spencer groans out, pushing himself back on Jon's hard cock. Brendon's so entranced with watching the way Jon's body slides against Spencer's that he forget's what he's doing, Layla moving under him, fingers tangling in his hair.

"Come on Brendon, fuck me...please." She pleads, Brendon's dick twitches and he nods, leaning down and finding her lips again, kissing her hard and moving his hips in a fast pace. Never in his life has he ever had a girl ask to be fucked by him, beg him for it even. But now he was, he was fucking someone elses girlfriend, he was fucking a girl that he's only know three days, a girl whose real name he didn't even know.

If he really lets himself think about it, this whole situation is fucked up. These people are fucked up to varying degree's but everyone is a little screwed up and they're certainly not hurting anyone so, Brendon's not going to worry about it, not right now at least.

Brendon tries to hold Layla the way he would hold Ryan. It work's mostly the same, hands gripping her hips pulling her on to his cock like he would for his boyfriend. There's little differences though, things he can't do to her like he would to Ryan, like jack her off, things like that just don't work.

Their mouth's break apart, faces close and the two of them are sharing breaths. Her hands find his back, scratching and leaving little marks but he doesn't care. She's crying out for him, wet moans and swears.

Jon's still watching Brendon fuck her, his eyes drinking in the scene. The oldest boy's large hands slide comforting up and down Spencer's back as he drives into the younger boy, fucking Spencer as hard as the blue eyed boy had fucked Layla.

Layla's mouth finds Brendon's neck, sucking at the smooth skin there, biting down. Her body moves up with each thrust from Brendon, the bed shaking with their movements. Brendon works his hips impossibly fast, pushing his entire length into the beautiful girl. Like she had done to Spencer, Layla wraps her leg's around Brendon. The boy takes initative and pulls Layla into his lap, their chests pressed together hot and sweat slicked, his hands tangling into her beautiful long hair.

Brendon can't stop kissing her because it's so different, it's new and he wants to do it while he can. He wonders what happens after this? Will he ever be able to be around Jon and Layla without feeling awkward ever again? What about Spencer? Can he go to school and pretend like he didn't see the boy fucking and getting fucked, pretend like Spencer didn't see the same?

There are things that Brendon wants to try. He wonders if Jon would let him do this again, if he could try different positions? If he could eat her out because he's never done that either...he wonders what a blowjob from a girl would feel like?

It doesn't take much longer for Brendon to come, holding her down on his cock as he finished, fucking her weakly through her own orgasm, her second of the night. Brendon lays her back on the bed, his body flushed against her's, his head is on her shoulder, turned to watched as Jon finishes off Spencer.

Jon is holding Spencer tight. His fingers tangling into Spencer's hair, pulling his head back a little harshly, pressing against his neck and biting at his shoulder. Jon isn't gentle with Spencer, he fuck's him hard but Spencer seems to enjoy it so, Brendon's not too worried for the younger boy's safety. It doesn't take long for Jon to come either, freezing balls deep inside of Spencer. His hand is curled around Spencer's leaking cock, jacking off the boy. Spencer comes moment's later, spurting across Jon's fingers and the blanket.

Brendon expects it to be all over, he rolls over next to Layla, just laying there to take in what had just happened. Jon pulls Spencer back against him, arm around Spencer's neck, turning his head to kiss him rough and wet. He releases Spencer seconds later and the youngest boy crawls up on the end of the bed near Brendon and Layla's feet.

Jon stands and makes his way over to his girlfriend, sliding down next to her on the bed. He turn's her in his arms, his hand on her face and he kisses her. Brendon's eyes feel so heavy but he can't fall asleep here, Ryan will find him here. Thinking of Ryan causes Brendon to think of the kiss mark, of trying to find it on Jon's body. Right now the older boy was completely naked and Brendon's eyes are searching for the mark. He searches smooth planes of back and stomach, arms, leg's, thighs, everything but he doesn't see a mark anywhere. Maybe Jon wasn't the third kiss mark after all?

Jon and Layla continue to make out, soft and slow. Brendon can barely believe it when Jon turns her on her back and slides into her as well, she was getting fucked for the third time that night. If Brendon had to classify this though, he doesn't think it's fucking, this between them is love making. Jon is screwing her slow, gentle so unlike what Brendon and Spencer had done. Neither of them is looking at the other two men in the room, when the two of them are together it's like there's no one else in the world. There's no one but the two of them and Brendon knows that they love each other, this is something they may do with other people but they always end up with each other.

*

Brendon wakes up for a second time still in Jon's bed. He's not alone though, Jon, Layla, and Spencer were still in the bed too, though Spencer had managed to worm his way between Layla and Brendon. That's where Brendon was now, spooning against Spencer's firm back. Spencer is curled loose around Layla, his hand on her hip and his face pressed near her hair. The girl in the room is turned on her side, her hands low on Jon's stomach and her head on his shoulder, face nuzzled against his neck. Jon is on his back, arms wound around his girlfriend and it seems that the boy can even managed to pull off that amazing grin in his sleep.

He's the only one awake and he sit's up, sliding off the bed and quietly padding around the room to find his discarded clothes. He feels awkward, he feels like he's doing the walk of shame, like Spencer's the one who belong's here with them and Brendon's the outsider who was used for a one night stand.

Judging by the clock he's only been asleep for about ten minutes, he feels sweaty and sticky as he pulls back on his boxers and his jeans, throwing one last look at the three naked people on the bed before he tug's on his t-shirt and heads out of the room.

Brendon is worried that maybe Ryan had woken up, found him and just as quickly left him but his fears are put to rest when he finds the lithe boy still curled in the chair. Brendon smiles before he dips down to the chair, rousing the older boy awake.

"Ry, Ry, wake up." Brendon whispers softly, hand on the older boy's shoulder. Ryan's eyes flutter open and he quirk's his mouth slightly upon seeing Brendon before him. "Come on Ryan, lets go home." He says, offering his hand to his lover.

"Home." Ryan echoes, giving Brendon his hand. He's smiling and Brendon thinks it's because he used the word home. He had called Ryan's place home, he hadn't meant to it wasn't his home, not yet at least.

The two of them leave Jon's house as quietly as they could, neither of them talking until they get outside. Ryan's calling a cab to come and pick them up, he has the numbers to various cab companies programmed into his phone. It's only after the older boy hang's up that he talk's to Brendon.

"Spence's still in there right?" He asks, Brendon nods, will's his cheek's not to flush at the memory of Spencer bent over the bed. He doesn't know what to say to Ryan, he wants to talk to him about what happened tonight but he can't, he doesn't want to risk the older boy getting pissed at him. "Did you have fun tonight?" Ryan asks innocently, Brendon's heart freezes for a split second because he's sure that Ryan already knows what had happened but the way the older boy is looking at him, maybe the question is purely coincedental.

"Yeah, it was fun."

That was the understatement of the century.

The cab comes and the two of them climb into the backseat. Brendon's beginning to get used to riding around in cab's with Ryan, he finds it's a good time to talk about things. Right now though there's an awkward silence between them, it's on Brendon's part because he's afraid that if he open's his mouth he'll confess to Ryan that he screwed Layla.

"You alright Bren?" Ryan is asking, his long fingers pressing against Brendon's palm. The younger boy looks over at Ryan.

"I'm fine...just thinking."

"About what?" Ryan's eyes are shining as he tilt's his head. Brendon can't tell Ryan what he's really thinking, what's floating around the forefront of his mind so, he settles on what's at the backburner of his mind.

"I'm thinking that Jon isn't the third person with the kiss mark." He says, it's true he doesn't believe that it's Jon anymore. He saw Jon's naked body and there was no kiss mark to be found.

"Really? Why would that be?" Ryan is paying all his attention to Brendon, staring at him with those shiny brown eyes.

"I couldn't find the mark on him." The younger boy says with a shrug. He doesn't realize until after he says it that maybe Ryan would wonder when Brendon had the chance to look for the mark on the older boy.

"You looked?" Ryan laughs, Brendon shrugs. "You're right, it's not Jon." The boy confirms for Brendon. The two of them fall silent again, the younger boy is feeling surprisingly guilty. It doesn't matter anymore that he slept with a girl tonight, it was still someone who wasn't Ryan, it was still cheating on the older boy no matter how Brendon looked at it.

"Look, Ry," Brendon starts, "I have to tell you something." He can't hide this from Ryan, the older boy is always telling him the truth so why not do the same? Ryan doesn't look the least bit surprised at Brendon's sudden need to confess something, he's just staring with that blank face.

"Go ahead." He says, hand firm in Brendon's own.

"Okay...tonight while you were asleep, I went looking for Jon to tell him that we were gonna leave and when I went back to his room...Spencer and Layla were in there and they were fucking."

Brendon's searching Ryan's eyes for any form of surprise but he's still just staring with that blank face.

"Jon was there too." Brendon quickly continues, holding Ryan's eyes and waiting for some form of reaction from the stoic boy. "And he asked me to stay and watch."

Finally Ryan gives a reply. "Did you?" He asks, his voice is low, much like it always is but he doesn't sound angry more curious than anything. Brendon nods.

"I did."

"What happened after that?" Ryan is asking, he's leaning closer to Brendon as if he's enthralled by what the younger boy is telling him.

"I watched Spencer fuck Layla...and then Jon and asked me if I wanted to fuck her too..." He pauses, waits for an angry slap, a pissed off yell, anything from Ryan but the boy is staring at him expectantly, waiting for more. "I did Ry, I fucked her tonight..and I watched Spencer and Jon fuck too."

The cab driver catches Brendon's eyes in the rearview mirror, he ignores the raised eyebrow of the driver and turn's back to Ryan. Despite the confession Brendon just dropped, Ryan's smiling, fucking smiling! A thought occures to Brendon; Ryan probably already knew.

"I know Brendon." Ryan tells him, confirming Brendon's thought. The younger boy sighs.

"You did?"

Ryan nods, "I was sleeping but I woke up after you left...you guys' weren't exactly quiet." The brown haired boy tells him with a laugh.

"Oh,"

Brendon should've known that Ryan already knew, Ryan seems to know everything that Brendon does, maybe he just knew what Spencer, Jon, and Layla do so, he knew that Brendon would be tempted to join in. He feels warm hands on his thighs, Ryan's hands.

"I could hear the way she was begging for you Bren...I could hear you when you came."

Brendon swears he see's the flash of the drivers eyes and the cab picking up speed but he ignores it.

"Were you waiting for me to tell you?" Brendon asks, he's kind of getting sick of Ryan's test's in their relationship. Ryan shakes his head.

"No, I already knew and it didn't bother me so, it didn't matter. But you did tell me."

"Because I love you." The younger boy says, he leans forward and rest's his head on Ryan's shoulder. The older boy brings his fingertips up to Brendon's jaw, resting them there lightly.

"I know and I wasn't going to ask you about it because I love you."

Brendon lifts his head, his and Ryan's faces close.

"So, you're okay with it?" The black haired boy asks, he's not sure if he wants Ryan to be alright with it or not, he knows that if Jon and Layla are down with it that he would want to do it again.

"Yeah, but only because it was Layla. If it had been Spence or Jon...that wouldn't be alright." Ryan says firmly, his face taking on a slightly dark look. "Do you want to do it again?" He's asking, the dark look sliding away to be replaced with a smirk that's playing on his gorgeous face.

"Sort of." Brendon admits.

"Only her okay?" Ryan is asking, "If you sleep with someone who isn't me..make sure it's just her."

"I promise."

Ryan leans in and brushes his lips against Brendon's, just a soft warm slide, innocent. The most innocent event that happened tonight.

"So, you were listening to us?" The younger boy asks, his words muffled by Ryan's warm lips. The older boy nods.

"Yeah," Ryan starts, he slides away from Brendon's body, smirking at Brendon as he slips his large hand into his own pants. Brendon's eyes widen drastically, is the older boy planning on jacking off right here in the back of the cab? The drivers already watching them, there's no way they'd get away with this.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Brendon whispers harshly. Ryan just smiles at the black haired boy before he retract's his hand from his pants, fingers shining in the light from the street lamp's outside. Ryan slides closer to Brendon, their faces are close together once again.

"It really turned me on Brendon." The boy is saying. "I could hear you." Ryan brings his hand up close to Brendon's face, the younger boy is expecting a simple touch. "I could hear Spencer too." Ryan brushes one long digit against Brendon's full bottom lip, his finger damp. "Knowing that they were all seeing you the way I see you...god, I got so hard." Ryan's voice is low, like it is when he's turned on. He promptly presses a long finger into Brendon's mouth, there's a sudden bitterness on the younger boy's tongue and he realizes that Ryan's fingers taste like come.

"Taste it Bren?" Ryan is asking, his voice is husky and his eyes dark. Brendon nods as his tongue lap's around the digit, cleaning off Ryan's come. It only made what had happened that much hotter in the younger boy's mind, the fact that Ryan was out in the living room jacking off while Brendon fucked Jon's girlfriend, maybe he came the same time as Brendon had?

Ryan makes a low growly kind of noise at Brendon's hot tongue sucking on his come stained fingers. The older boy wraps his free hand around Brendon's neck, holding him in place.

"Fuck Bren, I love your mouth." Ryan whispers lowly, Brendon moans and despite him having sex a little less than an hour ago, he's hard again. Ryan removes his fingers from Brendon's mouth and he presses his lips to the black haired boy's instantly, claiming the soft lips in a harsh kiss.

The driver clear's his throat and the two boy's break apart but remain pressed close together.

*

Brendon didn't attend his classes the next day and for once he wasn't at Ryan's place. He was sitting on his bed sorting out his freshly done laundry, he might've just done his laundry at Ryan's place if the older boy actually had a washer or dryer. The reason Brendon didn't attend his classes was because he was afraid to see Spencer, it was also part of the reason that he wasn't at the older boy's place today, he was afraid of running into Spencer.

It wasn't that he regretted what happened last night, last night was awesome, the kind of thing that guys' dream about or whatever but that was last night, when everyone was jacked up on weed and pure attraction. Brendon was neither of those things today and he was afraid to see Spencer again.

There's a sudden knock on the door and Brendon is surprised. No one comes to see him because for the most part he isn't actually here a lot and his roomate Andy isn't here either, hell, it seems like he's always out too. The black haired boy crosses the small threshold from the bed to the door, pulling it open cautiously.

He wishes he hadn't anwsered the door because Spencer is standing there, hands on his hips and a small scowl on his slightly round face. Brendon is just standing there leaning against the doorway staring at the very person he was trying to avoid.

"Spencer.." The black haired boy starts weakly.

"Can I come in Brendon? Or are you going to make me stand out here in the hall?" The younger boy is asking, the scowl slipping away to be replaced by a tiny smirk. Brendon dumbly moves out of the other boy's way allowing Spencer to come into the dorm. "You know," Spencer starts, surveying the small room. "This is the first time I've been to your dorm room."

Brendon gives a shrug, he's never been to Spencer's room either. The brown haired boy sighs and brushes his bangs out of his face.

"You know at first I thought you just skipped class to hang with Ryan." He states, turning his bright blue gaze to the older boy.

"What?"

"But then I called Ry and he told me that you hadn't been over all day." Spencer finishes, ignoring Brendon's minor interruption.

"I texted him." Brendon point's out, geeze, he doesn't need Spencer to come over and bully him everytime he doesn't hang out with Ryan. Spencer just shakes his head.

"This isn't about Ryan. This is about you avoiding me because of what happened last night." Spencer states rather bluntly. Brendon shakes his head.

"I had laundry to do." He says defensivly, pointing a finger back at the small stack's of poorly folded t-shirt's and jeans on his bed. Spencer looks at him warily.

"For five hours?" The younger boy question's, his hands snaking back to his hips.

"I wasn't avoiding you." Brendon tries but he doesn't even believe himself.

"Brendon-" Spencer has that tone that he get's when he knows that someone is lying to him, that someone usually being Brendon.

"Ok, fine. I was avoiding you." The older boy says suddenly, he avoid's Spencer's eyes as he moves back and sit's on his bed. Spencer stays rooted to the floor, not making any moves. "I thought it would be weird to see you so soon."

"Brendon," Spencer starts, he's moving across the room and surprisingly sitting on the end of Brendon's bed, jostling the haphazardly folded piles of clothing. "It's only weird if you make it that way."

Brendon looks up and meet's Spencer's eyes for the first time since last night. He tries not to think about how those eyes looked last night, so full of lust, Brendon shakes his head to remove the image.

"It's a little weird...I mean I watched you fuck a girl and then get fucked by a boy." Brendon point's out, his voice small and almost child like.

Now Spencer's cheek's are pinking just a bit but he seems to shake it off.

"So?" He starts, "I watched you fuck her too and I've watched Ryan rub you off right infront of me remember?" Spencer shrugs as if that kind of thing is normal. So, that was the first time the two of them have actually talked about that little encounter too.

"I guess..it's just...I thought you were gay?" It's kind of a question and Brendon's hoping for an anwser. Spencer is playing with his hair, a clear sign that he's nervous.

"I mostly am."

"But Layla-"

"Is a rare exception." Spencer finishes Brendon's words for the older boy, meeting Brendon's eyes once again.

"Just how long has this been going on Spence?" Brendon finds himself asking, it was something that was on his mind last night too, something he wanted to ask Ryan but never got the chance to.

Spencer's mouth crinkles as he thinks. "Almost a year."

Brendon is floored. This whole thing between the three of them has been going on that long? He had thought that it was a relatively new thing, maybe just a few months old but a year?

"Okay..so, how did it start?"

"What do you mean?" Spencer is obviously playing dumb here. Brendon prop's his chin in his hand, watching his younger friend.

"Come on Spence, that's not a hard question."

"Fine," Spencer sighs, obviously defeated. "Remember what I told you at lunch that time? That I was enough to make Jon realize that he wanted to fuck me but not enough for him to want to stop fucking girls?" Spencer asks, Brendon nods. "Well, Jon hooked up with me a few time's, kissed me and slept with me but he started feeling too guilty. He told me he loved his girlfriend so, I figured we were done, Except that Jon called me a few weeks after we had hooked up and told me he wanted me to meet his girlfriend."

"Layla?" Brendon asks, even though he's sure he's right. Spencer nods.

"I didn't want to do it because Jon told me he loved her, I didn't want to meet the girl who had Jon's heart so securely in her hands. Plus, he had told her all about hooking up with me so, I didn't know what the fuck was going to happen." Spencer's eyes are far away as he tells the story, replaying the event's in his head.

"Jon talked me into it though so, I went to his place and met...Layla." It was the first time that Spencer had referred to her with that name, Brendon couldn't supress the grin that spread on his face. "Stop grinning or I won't tell you the rest." Spencer threathens, Brendon lets his face fall blank.

"I met her and she was so damn sweet that I just couldn't hate her. She made me dinner and we talked and Jon was watching us all night long. I left that night and then Jon called me three days later and told me that they wanted me to come over again. I did and that night...Jon kissed me infront of her." Spencer stops for a moment but Brendon wants to hear the rest, is dying to find out how a long term threesome relationship starts.

"Then what happened?" Brendon finds himself asking when Spencer is silent for too long. The younger boy's eyes still hold that far away look as he stares at Brendon's floor.

"Then he told me to kiss her too...so, I did. It all kind of evolved from there, they told me that they wanted to have a threesome. I wasn't sure but the way they were looking at me, like, they wanted me so badly...and Jon, it meant I could be with Jon again so, I said yes. It all kind of went from there."

"So, you only do it to be with Jon?" He does ask that question because that was the one that was weighing on his mind the most. Spencer meets Brendon's eyes and shakes his head, his chocolate colored bangs flickering with the motion.

"If that was the case I wouldn't have slept with her last night." Spencer anwsers with a grin. Brendon looks confused so, Spencer sighs again and keep's talking. "She's amazing, not to mention beautiful, of course I'm not going to turn down sleeping with her." The younger boy explains.

"Oh," So, it seems that Jon isn't the only one who wasn't strictly gay nor straight. "So, you love them?" The older boy asks, Spencer perks his head up.

"Do I love them or am I in love with them?" He asks, trying to clarify what Brendon wants to know.

"Which is it?" The black haired boy asks.

Spencer tilt's his head. "I love them, both of them. I care about them, end of story."

That really didn't anwser Brendon's question but he really didn't want to push at it.

"So, you just meet up and fuck?" The black haired boy asks, he finds the fact that Spencer's involved in this situation is so fascinating.

"Basically, but there are rules." The younger boy replies, Brendon open's his mouth but Spencer apparently can already guess what he's going to ask because he cut's the boy off. "It can't be just Layla and I or just Jon and I, all three of us have to be together. Always wear a condom, don't do something new without asking first, if someone isn't comfortable with something we don't do it. Easy shit." The brown haired boy says with a shrug.

Brendon is silent, pouring over the information in his mind. The situation just doesn't seem fair to Spencer, no matter what angle Brendon tries to think about it from. Spencer comes in only when Jon and Layla want him and he's gone when they don't.

The black haired boy is thinking that Jon only does it so, that he can justify his need to be with Spencer. He doesn't have a hypothesis for why Layla does it. Maybe because she like's it? That would be the simplist anwser but maybe she does it for Jon? Because she knows that Jon need's it, that if they don't do it this way then Jon might stray. She might lose him to Spencer.

"I know what you're thinking." Spencer is saying as he stares at Brendon, Brendon who just realized he had been silent for way too long.

"What am I thinking Spence?" Brendon presses, the younger boy is smart, is good at reading other people, Brendon's sure that he does in fact know.

"You're thinking something along the lines of; 'Poor little Spencer, he get's the raw deal in this arrangment, he's getting used by these two people, he's disposable'." Spencer finishes, damn, okay so, Spencer was right. Instead of denying thinking those things Brendon fesses up.

"Isn't it though? Doesn't it seem like you're just there for their enjoyment? Brought in when the two of them are bored with their sex life?" Brendon asks, Spencer is silent, watching Brendon for a few beat's before he speak's.

"God, you're even starting to sound like Ryan." The blue eyed boy sighs, Brendon's eyes go wide, he sort of hope's that he doesn't sound like the older boy.

"Just..Spence, at the end of the day...they will always have each other but at the end of the day what do you have? They're together and you're still alone." Chances are good that this conversation will end with Brendon getting punched but it's worth it.

"Listen Brendon, I get to have casual sex with two gorgeous people anytime I want. There's no commitment, no string's, so, I'm sorry but I don't really see the problem."

Brendon get's the slight feeling that Spencer is stretching the truth a bit, saying whatever he can to make this situation sound better, sound like Spencer's actually happy. Make it sound that if Jon or Layla suddenly just wanted to be with him that he wouldn't jump at the chance. Brendon won't point this out though, he'll let Spencer believe whatever he has to.

"What about you Brendon? You didn't seem to mind joining in last night, what were your reasons?"

Brendon is taken aback by that, here he had been getting on Spencer's case about being involved when he himself had jumped into it last night without thinking. He shrugs, feeling stupid that he has to confess his real reason.

"It was hot.." He starts but Spencer looks like he's expecting more. "And I..I had never been with a girl before, I wanted to know what it was like."

"And Ryan?" Spencer question's, even though they both already know the anwser to the question.

"He's fine with it...he liked it."

Spencer laughs. "Somehow I knew he would." The smile slides off his face and he's once again staring at Brendon with those burning blue eyes. "Do you want to do it again?" He asks, Brendon freezes up but manages to give a shrug.

"I hadn't thought about it...still kind of in shock from last night...but I think I would..if it's alright with you?" Brendon feels like he need's to ask permission from Spencer about whether or not he can be in on this arrangment, he feels like it's Spencer's thing, like he's butting in on the blue eyed boy's territory.

There's a split second where Spencer looks conflicted but then it's gone, erased from his soft baby face. "It's just sex Brendon. Just don't do anything stupid to ruin it, like fall in love with Layla or something." Spencer warn's with the normal amount of snark that he usually gives Brendon. Spencer stands from Brendon's bed, stretches and the older boy catches just the quickest sight of pale Spencer tummy. "And I don't want you avoiding Ryan just because you're avoiding me." He adds, looking at Brendon with a deep seriousness in his eyes.

Brendon nods, crack's a smile. He's relieved that things are alright, that he can be around Spencer and not constantly think about what happened last night. Spencer returns the smile.

"Right, so, I'm gonna go." The younger boy states, he motion's towards the door. A sudden thought hit's Brendon though, a thought he wants so badly to ask Spencer about.

"Wait, Spencer?" Brendon starts, the younger boy stopping and looking back with a raised eyebrow. "Do you um..do you know the first person Ryan ever burned?" It was off topic but Spencer had brought up last night and brought up Ryan and damn, Brendon just needed to know the person who bears the first kiss mark.

"I don't know, never asked." Spencer doesn't exactly look like he's lying and maybe despite how close he and Ryan are, maybe there are things about Ryan that even Spencer doesn't know about.

So, Brendon just nods, disappointed and lets the younger boy go. He can't believe that no one was ever curious to press Ryan about the kiss marks, how everyone just lets it go. After Spencer leaves, Brendon grab's up his cell and asks Ryan if he can come over.

*

"Brendon, I think you should move in with me." Ryan says out of the blue. The two of them are laying in Ryan's massive bed, the older boy staring at the younger in the semi-darkness of the room.

"Really?" Brendon's surprised by this, they've only been 'dating' for a little over two months now. Two months and Ryan wants them to live together? They don't even offically call it dating, they hardly ever refer to one another as a boyfriend, not that Brendon wouldn't want to do those things but he's kind of waiting for Ryan to do it first. On the upside, moving in with Ryan meant giving up his dorm room, something that would save Brendon a lot of cash.

"Yeah," Ryan props himself up on his elbow, turns on his side to stare intensely at Brendon. "Some people spend their entire lives searching for a love like ours. We're lucky Brendon, we found it early." Ryan tells him. He scoots closer to Brendon, presses their hips together and smiles. "We were brought together for a reason, we're meant to be, predestined from the beginning to be in each other's lives." He adds, his hand sliding down Brendon's side.

"Is that what you think?" Brendon asks softly as he shivers under Ryan's touch. The brown haired boy is still grinning and he nods.

"It's what I know. I know that you were meant for me." He whispers, his eyes searching Brendon's.

It's extreamly hard to argue with Ryan when he looks like that, when he whispers things like that. He doesn't think that it's too hard to say yes to the older boy, he practically lives at the small apartment already. If he were a more logical person he would worry about what happens in the event of them breaking up but he's not logical and he sure as hell doesn't ever want to think about that.

"I want to be meant for you." Brendon tells him, his own eyes shining and his hands stroking softly down Ryan's back. The older boy is smiling wider than Brendon's ever seen. "I want you to be mine for always." Brendon whispers, fingers moving up to play with the hair at the nape of the boy's neck.

"I'm already yours." Ryan whispers, drops his face to Brendon's chest and presses feather light kisses to the skin. Brendon smiles at the words, this is love and he's so far in that he'll never get back out. But that's ok because he doesn't want to leave Ryan, never wants to be away from him.

"Ryan?" Brendon starts after a few moment's of peaceful silence.

"Hmm?" More soft kisses, damp breath against his chest and neck.

"Can I..." Brendon trails off, unable to think of a way to word that question. Ryan props himself up and peers deeply into Brendon's eyes.

"What is it?" He whispers, leans down and brushes their lips together. Brendon's heart is thumping loudly in his chest, he's nervous to ask Ryan the question that's on his mind. Ryan's eyes study Brendon's and the boy calms a bit, runs his hand through the older boy's soft brown hair.

"If it's alright with Jon and Layla...can I sleep with her again?"

Ever since Spencer left his dorm room that's all that's been on Brendon's mind. He wants to do it again, now that he knows Spencer's alright with it, he really wants to fuck the girl again. But he's afraid, afraid that if he tells Ryan this that the boy will think that he's not enough, that Brendon doesn't think Ryan is enough for him.

Ryan is watching him, eyes sweeping over his face. He's silent for a few beats before his face softens and he smiles, a small smile that lifts only one side of his pretty mouth.

"Is it because you've never been with a girl before her?" Ryan asks, voice soft and amused. Brendon nods weakly. He's waiting for Ryan to say something else, he's always waiting because Ryan is forever a mystery, an enigma that Brendon can never figure out. He never can predict what the boy will say or do because it's always the last thing he expects.

"Are you going to fall in love with her?" He asks, firm hands sliding up and down Brendon's chest before they move all the way up to the boy's neck. Ryan takes Brendon's chin in his hand and tilts his head to the side, revealing his neck. His other hand presses against a spot on the younger boy's neck.

Brendon doesn't know what Ryan's doing but he ignores it for the moment, focusing on anwsering the question that was asked of him. "No, there's only one person I love...and that's you." Ryan gifts Brendon with a smile, the rough tip of his finger still pressed against the smooth skin of Brendon's neck. "What are you?-" The black haired boy starts.

"She marked you." Ryan cuts him off, eyes and fingers trained on Brendon's pale skin.

"She did?" Brendon thinks back to last night, to when Layla was bouncing in his lap, her teeth and lips connected to his neck. He had forgotten about that, he hadn't even noticed he had a mark.

"Yeah," Ryan breathes out, he glances at Brendon before he leans down and presses his mouth to the mark, kissing where she had. He feels the press of teeth and now Ryan is sucking over the mark, biting down, covering the faded bruise with his own. He sucks at the skin longer, harder, than she had, Brendon gasping and writhing under him all the while.

When Ryan is done, what has to be at least five minutes later, Brendon is sure that he's going to have a much larger mark, Ryan erasing Layla's all together. He pulls away and runs the back of his hand across his lips. He's staring down at Brendon, the younger boy staring back with those wide blinking eyes.

"No one can mark you...only me." Ryan whispers, lowers himself down until he's straddling Brendon's waist, leaning down and kisses him, fingers pressing to the damp spot on Brendon's neck once again. The black haired boy doesn't think that it's a question, nothing Ryan should expect an anwser to but Brendon gives him one anyway.

"Ok."

Ryan gives a little laugh, pulling back to look at the other boy. "And yeah, you can fuck as long as it's fine with them." Ryan tells him, slides off of Brendon and rerranges himself so that he's between Brendon's spread legs.

"You won't be jealous?" Brendon asks, still on his back. He's not even fighting Ryan's movements, whatever the boy wants to do, Brendon knows it will be good. Ryan lifts Brendon's leg, hooks it over his shoulder and shakes his head.

"No," The older boy starts, he slips two of his long fingers into his red mouth, pink tongue slicking over the pale digits. "Because I know that you love me." Ryan replies, removing his fingers so he can anwser Brendon. He raises his right arm, the underside of his wrist facing out for Brendon. Ryan taps a wet finger against the skin of his wrist. "I know." He repeats.

Brendon looks down at his corresponding wrist, at the shiny mark and he sighs out, half in pleasure and half out of relief as Ryan slides two of his fingers into him. Ryan works him open, makes him moan, Brendon's other leg hooked around the thin boy's hip.

It's only after Ryan removes his fingers that Brendon can ask the question that was floating around his mind.

"Have you ever been with her Ry?" The younger boy manages to get out. Ryan is ignoring him, sliding out from between his legs and moving up near Brendon's head. He's completely naked and hard, his cock aching and leaking near Brendon's face. Ryan doesn't say anything, doesn't ask but he doesn't have to because Brendon knows what to do, what he wants to do.

Brendon rolls on his side, moves closer to Ryan and let's the older boy slide his long cock between Brendon's lips. He's still not great at giving head, but he's better than the first time he did this. He slides down a good amount, his tongue rubbing around and he hollows his cheeks. Ryan groans, tangles his fingers in Brendon's medium length hair.

The younger boy is so wrapped up in sucking Ryan off that he completely forgets that he was waiting for an answer from the boy.

"I haven't." Ryan groans out, hand pressing firm on Brendon's head. The black haired boy flicks his eyes up to Ryan's face, the older boy looking down at him. "I've never slept with her." The brown haired boy adds, anwsering the question that Brendon had forgotten about.

Brendon's wide brown eyes flicker with recognition but he can't say anything except for a few muffled sounds escaping from around Ryan's dick. Ryan thrusts shallowly into his hot, wet mouth before he slides out completely, his dick slick and shiny.

Ryan moves back between Brendon's legs, hooking the long alabaster limbs back into their previous positions.

"Have you ever slept with a girl?" He's curious, wants to know just how many people Ryan's been on top of, just like this. Ryan's warm eyes are trained on Brendon's milky thighs, he runs a rough hand up and down those smooth white thighs.

"Yeah, a couple girls from high school." Ryan says, Brendon can feel him pressing against his enterance and yeah, yeah he wants it right now. "Just-" Ryan starts, pushing himself into Brendon. "Just to experiment you know?"

"Ye-Yeah." The words coming out as a broken groan. Whether the words were a reply to Ryan or just encouragment for him to continue what he's doing, Brendon wasn't sure, either would work just fine.

"But, I realized that I liked being fucked more than I liked fucking." Ryan continues, dropping Brendon's leg and letting the younger boy wrap his legs around the other boys waist. Ryan slides up Brendon's body, kissing him lightly as he fucks into the tight heat of Brendon's ass.

Brendon moans into Ryan's mouth, wet tongues sliding together.

"Been a big fan of cock since then." Ryan gasps out shakily, his hips stuttering against Brendon's. His words are barely registering to Brendon, going in one ear and out the other but he can't help it because Ryan's inside him, beautiful Ryan with the warning stickers all over his body, is inside Brendon and he wants nothing more than that.

*
Brendon goes to his classes the next day. He see's Spencer in the morning and he smiles and waves like he would usually do, ignoring every memory of long stretches of pale skin and high pitched moans. He's kind of eager for classes to be over or at least until he can be in his shared classes with Spencer, then he could tell Spencer that Ryan was cool with the whole 'group sex' thing, ask the younger boy how they go about intiating another one.

Today also happens to be the day that Brendon is going to tell the office workers that he's moving out of his dorm room. It shouldn't be hard, it's not like he has anyone to anwser to, it's not like his room mate Andy was his best friend. After today he'll get to leave for school with a kiss from Ryan, he'll come home to have Ryan waiting for him. He can't fucking wait.

Spencer sits next to Brendon during their religion class. They're taking notes and Brendon actually manages to start the whole 'let's have another orgy', conversation. Spencer looks irritated by the whole thing, his hand is scribbling out the notes furiously, his jaw set tight in concentration.

"Bren, can't this wait till after class?" He asks, his voice a hushed whisper. Brendon looks down at his own paper, blank expect for a few random doodles that he did. No, he doesn't actually think this can wait because he's been thinking about it, thinking about that night again and again. And not just about when he fucked Layla but when Spencer fucked her, when Jon stroked her and his filthy fucking mouth. He wants it all again, now that he can truly appreciate it he wants it.

"Just-when are you going to see them next?" Brendon presses. Spencer rolls his eyes, turns to Brendon and glares.

"I don't know Brendon, why don't you just go on down to Starbucks and ask Jon." The blue eyed boy snaps, managing to keep his voice low. Brendon sighs defeatedly. It's apparent that Spencer doesn't want to discuss this right now. Brendon considers taking Spencer's suggestion and going to see Jon, except that he's kind of afraid of how the older boy might respond. How is someone supposed to respond when asked about an orgy?
*
Brendon is far enough ahead in his psychology class that he can actually manage to skip it today. He barely notices when he's wandered off campus. He shoulders his backpack and his sneakers slap against the hard cracked cement. His body already knows where he's going. He's heading downtown to the Starbucks where Jon is working.

Spencer hadn't said anything after he snapped at Brendon. But Spencer was always like that, a mix of striving for perfection and snark. Almost like a recepie; one part unrequited love, one part acting, half cup of hiding your emotions, a teaspoon of a need to be in control. That was how you create a Spencer.

It's getting colder out now, the wind blows around Brendon. Pushing like hands up under his arms, slinking inside his jacket and wrapping ice cold around him. The sky is a stormy grey, the kind that makes you feel powerless, makes you feel like there just might be something greater out there.

The familar coffee shop comes into focus. Brendon speeds up, his breath puffing out in little white clouds of hot air. The same large glass windows that exposes the inside of the shop to everyone in the street, no semblance of privacy here. Brendon can already see Jon Walker at the counter, making drinks for people, people who don't know that Jon is more than willing to smoke pot and participate in group fucking. The black haired boy searches for the dirty blonde barista worker, the one who always glared at Ryan. She's not there. In her place is a different girl, a supporting character.

She has auburn hair, sleek straight and hanging over her heavily made up eyes. She's wearing the green Starbucks hat and saying something to Jon as she wipes down the counters, a look of dislike in her eyes. Up until that point Brendon hadn't actually believed that it was possible to find someone who might not like Jon Walker.

The bell dings when he enters, drawing several people's attention. But really, there's only one person's that he wants. Jon is surveying him with that fantastic grin, Brendon must practice this grin because he's sure that that's the key to getting everything in life. The job, the girl, the boy. It all must be the grin.

"Hey, Bden." Jon says as Brendon pushes his way to the counter, the last people Jon had been preparing coffee for having just chosen a seat in the corner. They were alone. Or at least as alone as you could be in a crowded coffee shop.

"Hi, Jon."

"Do you want a coffee?" He asks, already reaching back for a cup. Brendon shakes his head, coffee really isn't his thing. Jon's face softens. "Hot chocolate then?" He asks Brendon decides to try out his Jon Walker style grin, a knockoff compared to the real thing.

"Sure."

Jon makes Brendon a hot chocolate. Brendon watches the slight ripple of muscle under t-shirt, under jeans and under green apron. Remembers seeing it all naked. He hopes that the flush on his cheeks looks like it's there because his body is adjusting to the sudden warmth, not the fact that he wants a repeat of that night to happen all over again.

"Here, it's on the house." Jon says, hands over hot chocolate, grinning.

Two parts sexual indentidy crisis, three tablespoons of running away from your thoughts, a dash of having your cake and eating it too. That was how you create a Jon Walker.

Brendon blows on his hot chocolate to cool it off, Jon's just watching, waiting, like he knows that there's some other reason as to why Brendon's here.

"Didn't really expect to see you without Ryan by your side." Jon states, grinning. Brendon shrugs and sets his drink down on the counter.

"I came straight from school."

"Ah, so did you just come to swindle me out of free drinks or is there something you needed?" Jon seems to be in a permanent good mood, always smiling like the world is fantastic and maybe to Jon it is. Maybe he's perfectly happy to work at a coffee shop and live with his girlfriend, fuck Spencer, smoke weed and repeat.

"I, yeah, there was something." Brendon scratches at his neck, this is harder than he thought it would be. He's never learned how to come up to someone and ask to fuck their girlfriend for the second time. An act that would most likely get your face kicked in.

"Is it about our little group activity the other night?" Jon asks, Brendon nods. Jon's hands come up to rest on the counter, fingers splayed. His head is dipped just slightly, bangs falling partially into is eyes, obscuring them from Brendon's view. Jon's face has taken on a slightly more serious tone.

"Look, I'm sorry if it was uncomfortable for you. God, she's always telling me that I shouldn't rush into things like that but I mean, I couldn't help it. It was extreamly hot and-"

"No, no, I didn't come here because I didn't like it." Brendon states, cutting off the rambling Jon. "I cam here because I did." He finishes. Jon lifts his head and his grin is back in place.

"Good, that's good. We were hoping that you enjoyed yourself."

Brendon can barely believe that they're talking about orgies so easily. It's obvious his morals are looser than they had ever been before.

"I actually, I wanted to do it again."

Jon gives a little laugh. "Eager one aren't you?" Brendon just shrugs again. "It's not up to me though. It's all up to the girl." Jon smiles as he talks about her. "Whatever she wants, whatever is good for her. I just go along with it." So, it was all up to Layla, she made the choices and Jon followed them. It was all just a matter of whether or not Brendon was good enough for Layla.

"When I go home tonight. I'll bring it up to her alright? Then I'll call you." Jon tells him. Brendon nods. Jon's hand comes out suddenly, brushing a slightly calloused hand against Brendon's cheek. "It's really a shame that Ryan will only share you with her." Jon whispers, warm hand still cupping Brendon's face. "I bet you'd look really beautiful with Spencer."

Brendon's cheeks are flushed pink now and his cock twitches again, shit, he has to walk home with a hardon now.

"Ryan called you?"

"Yeah, wanted to tell me that you were off limits for me and Spence." Jon's staring at Brendon in a way that it's easy for Brendon to imagine that the older boy is thinking of him and Spencer fucking, maybe imaging his own chance to fuck Brendon.

Brendon knows he's blushing and he avoids Jon's gaze. The clock on the wall behind the barista's head shows that Brendon's last class is over. It's time to go back to school and tell them that he's moving out of his dorm, that he found a much better place to call home.

*
It snows for the first time that year on the night that Brendon is moving his shit out of the dorms. Ryan has come to help him, the two of them holding hands as they move slowly up the long cement path that leads to the dorms. Ryan's staring up at the sky, watching the brand new fluffy white pieces of snow drift slowly to the ground. The soft white pieces hit them, sticking to their hair and clothes.

Ryan looks like a gorgeous otherworldly kind of creature. White glittering snowflakes dusting his messy hair, nose, and cheeks.

"I love this kind of snow." Ryan starts, turning to look at Brendon. The younger boy nods but Ryan doesn't wait for any other reply. "It looks like movie snow. You know? How it's so perfect, it makes everything and everyone perfect by comparison." Ryan is saying. The ground in front of them is slowly being dusted with the white perfect snow. The two boy's footsteps marked into the dusty path.

Ryan grips Brendon's hand tighter. "It's like stage snow Brendon. Like, god is trying to subtley tell us to play our parts better or he threathens us by pulling down the curtain." He looks over at Brendon. "Do you know what the curtain signifies?" Brendon shakes his head. Ryan's good at this, using his words, telling stories. His brilliant mind is being hidden, locked away, it's tragic in Brendon's opinion.

"The curtain is death." Ryan clarifies, never like he thinks Brendon's stupid. Just like he wants to explain things to the boy, get him to understand the things that float around in Ryan's head. "If we don't act accordingly, if we're not convincing enough for the audience, he'll pull the curtain on us." Ryan says, brings his finger to his throat and slides across slowly.

"The curtain does fall eventually." Brendon starts, Ryan with his snowflake covered eyelashes is blinking at him. "That's when we get the cheers, take our final bow."

"But the thing is, we're not concious enough to recongize it. We're too busy thinking about the performance. Every mistake we made, our high points and our lows. We're too busy thinking about that to hear those final cheers."

Brendon has a feeling that when his own curtain is pulled, the only thing he'll think of is Ryan.

"Then I guess all we can hope for is that when the curtain falls, we enjoyed the show, the performance." Brendon says, links their fingers together tighter, the lights from the dorms growing nearer.

"All I can hope is that there's someone who still wants to watch." Ryan mutters, Brendon stops then. Turns them so their face to face and cups the frail boy's cheek.

"I want you to know that I'll always be watching." He states, presses close and kisses Ryan, slow and cold with the soft flakes dusting on them. Ryan smiles when they break away, their hands coming to intertwine once again.

The two of them head to Brendon's room. Andy isn't there but Brendon didn't expect him to be. There really isn't much to pack up, clothes, personal effects, shit that means less to Brendon than Ryan does. Spencer gave the two boys permission to use his car to transfer Brendon's stuff to Ryan's place, one of the only times that Ryan's allowing the younger boy to drive them around.

Ryan's sitting on Brendon's bed, the older boy throwing clothes into the box. The two of them are quiet as they work, as Brendon packs up his life, his old life, pre-Ryan. It's starting to feel like nothing before the moment Brendon met Ryan, none of that matters. Not his childhood, not his hard teen years, not escaping to college, nothing before the day Ryan smiled at him and dragged him into an alley between a bank and his ex-boyfriend's apartment.

Brendon briefly considers talking to Ryan about seeing Jon today but he decides against it, it's nothing very interesting to mention.

It's only when Brendon goes outside, to put a box in the back of Spencer's car that things get interesting to say the least. Brendon comes back and there's a beautiful figure standing like a statue on the thick cement ledging of the dorm building. Snow washing down around said figure.

A thick fear slides down Brendon's throat but he ignores it, because it couldn't be, he wouldn't...

"Brendon!" A smooth, silky voice calls down to him and Brendon freezes admist the snow.

Shit.

"Ryan? Ryan what are you doing?" Brendon yells up to his boyfriend. He steps closer to the building and from this angle Ryan's illuminated by the light from the inside of the room, a darkened shadow amongst the light.

"Brendon, have I ever told you what my childhood wish was?" Ryan asks, his voice still smooth but loud, echoing down the building, down to Brendon.

"I-no. Just, Ryan, just come down." Brendon can't have been gone for more than five minutes and somewhere in that time Ryan had decided it would be a good idea to climb out the window. Brendon loves Ryan, with all his heart, all his being but right now he could give a shit about the things the older boy is saying, he just wants him to come down.

The warning stickers are pratically glowing by now.

"Flying." Ryan states, ignoring Brendon's request.

"What?" The younger boy's heart is thumping wildly in his chest. He's terrified, what if Ryan slips? Jumps? God, he'd never survive a fall like that.

"That was my wish. To fly." Ryan sounds far away, off in his own little world and it just might be the most dangerous place for Ryan to be.

"Just come down, Ry." Brendon pleads, doesn't know what to do. Running up to the room might just make Ryan jump down, but standing here...that's not helping either. Brendon's fingers twitch towards his pocket in the hopes of finding his cell but damn...he left it in the room.

"You know what I used to do Brendon? When I was a little kid, my dad, he used to drink a lot. Run around the house drunk and yelling and I used to get fucking terrified. I'd hide in my room and I used to stare out my window. I'd wish to fly. I wanted it so badly, just to get away from everything, to just leave and not have to come back. It never came true but it was all I wanted."

Brendon's too worried to bother with the information that Ryan's just gave to him. Suddenly, Spencer's sudden silence on the topic of Ryan's dead father makes sense. "Ryan, just don't jump alright?" Brendon's calling up to him. He plots out how long it would take to get to the room, how fast he could grab Ryan and tug him back through the small frame of open window, how fast could he call Spencer.

"Nothing could hold you down, no one could hold you back. Absolute freedom." Ryan states, Brendon can see him shifting on the ledge. Fuck, no, this can't happen. He wouldn't, he can't leave Brendon all alone now.

"Ryan, I love you so please! Please don't jump! Don't try to fly."

Ryan laughs, the sound carrying across the breeze.

"Wouldn't it be a perfect death Brendon? Don't you think I'd look beautiful with the snow falling on me, like a blanket and all the perfect crimson of my blood. Wouldn't it be a gorgeous contrast." The older boy sounds so wistful that Brendon can't help but think that any second now he'll see the figure of his boyfriend, his Ryan, his life, falling down, down, down and making that goregous contrast a reality.

"It's nothing I'm eager to see." Brendon calls back up. No, he's eager for having Ryan right next to him once again, holding his hand, keeping him grounded.

"Brendon, do you know what the audience always remembers?" Ryan asks, he's moving around on the ledge, pacing, slipping from darkness to light and back again. Brendon's afraid to ask, afraid to know the anwser.

"N-No."

"They always remember the characters who exit in the grandest of ways." The boy on the ledge states. "No one remembers the characters who go out with no bang, nothing special about their exit, just another face in the crowd, a name on the page. But everyone, everyone remembers someone who makes a spectacular exit."

Brendon's heart is lodged in his throat, he can't breath, can barely speak. He feels like he's the one on the ledge. "Ryan, please!"

"Tell me what you want Brendon." Ryan presses, voice excited.

"What?"

"If you don't tell me, I'll never know." He says and Brendon can practically hear the grin that's playing across his sharp face.

"I-I want you to come down." The younger boy's voice is weak, his legs are shaking and his entire body is dusted, blanketed in a thin layer of glittering snow, a brand new second skin.

There's silence and Brendon doesn't know what will happen, his breath won't come to him. He won't move, speak, breath again until Ryan talks.

"Come get me."

Brendon's flying up the stairs as fast as he can, slick shoes sliding against the hard glossy material of the floor, banging his knees against the stairs but he doesn't care. Usually he trusts Ryan, with anything and everything but now, now he's fucking terrified that when he reaches the ledge...he'll find Ryan making that beautiful contrast on the ground where Brendon had just been standing.

Brendon bursts into his room and from here he can see Ryan's back, the boy still standing on the ledge, staring out where Brendon no longer is. He calms but only for a bit Ryan's previous word's floating around in his head. 'All I can hope is that when my curtain falls, someone will still be watching.' What's a better idea then making Brendon be Ryan's audience for his final act?

The window is open and Brendon calls to his boyfriend. "Ry, Ryan, please, come in now." His voice is tiny and desperate, afraid. Ryan turns, slowly, carefully, until he's facing Brendon once again.

"Hi." The older boy whispers softly. The younger of the duo moves towards the window, fingers outstretched to grab Ryan at the first opportunity. Ryan pushes a long arm through the window and their hands meet somewhere in the middle, cold and wet.

Brendon pulls and Ryan slinks back inside, covered in heavy white, perfect snow. He's a glittering figure whose smiling, fucking smiling at Brendon. The younger boy locks their hands together, tight and afraid to ever let ago again.

"What?" Brendon starts, tugs Ryan a little closer. "What were you doing out there?" He asks, he's aware that his eyes are shining but fuck, he was terrified, scared that he was about to lose the last thing in his life that meant anything.

Ryan wraps his snowflake decorated arms around Brendon's shoulders and their pressed together tight, Brendon's face in the crook of Ryan's damp cold neck.

"Having a near life experience. Teasing death. Playing chicken with suicide. Whatever you want to call it." Ryan replies, his arms are rubbing soothingly on Brendon's back, like Brendon had been the one about to jump off a ledge. The black haired boy pulls back, pale face searching Ryan's rapidly dampening one. The snow that had been all over Ryan is now melting, creating little wet patches all over the brown haired boy's skin, making him look like he had just emerged from some enchanted body of water.

"What? What would you have done if I said I wanted you to jump?" Brendon questions, sounds breathless. Ryan smiles and slides a hand up to cup Brendon's cheek.

"I would've jumped."

*

Neither of them make any mention of the incident on the ledge. Not even to Spencer, which Brendon doesn't actually know whether or not that's such a good idea. The younger boy is offically living with Ryan now. It's not just Ryan's place, it's their place, not just Ryan's bed, couch, shower, it's all theirs.

They fuck even more than usual, Ryan grabbing him up at any good opportunity and rubbing at his crotch, pushing him down to his knees, begging him to fuck the older boy. All these things Brendon doesn't mind. There's also getting to sleep in with the boy warm and happy, Ryan cooking for him, Ryan kissing him before he leaves for class and tackling him onto the couch when he returns home.

But along with all the good, Brendon learns all the strange things about Ryan. How the lithe boy never talks while he's writing, notebook propped up on his knees and the small scritch, scritch, scritch of the pen on paper. He watches old french movies at three in the morning, how he rarely eats unless Brendon's eating too, how he masturbates in the bathroom when Brendon's too busy to fuck, how half the time he calls out Spencer's name when he comes.

But Brendon is accepting it all because hell, everyone's a little weird right?

It's four o' clock in the morning and Brendon has class the next day at ten but Ryan is rubbing soothing circles across his bare chest and wans to talk, who is Brendon to say no to that?

"Tell me about your life." Ryan insists. Brendon stretches out on the bed and pops his back.

"Not much to tell. I'm pretty boring."

Ryan smiles and moves so that he's straddling Brendon. "I happen to find you fascinating."

"Well, in that case." Brendon smiles and runs his fingers over Ryan's naked thighs. "I'm the youngest of five kids. I had a pretty average childhood, I was a loner in high school, my parents kicked me out of the house when I was seventeen because I no longer wanted to be a part of their religion, I got a job and applied here to college. The rest isn't important until I met you." Brendon says, smiling through his life story, even the bad parts.

Ryan frowns and brushes a hand up the younger boy's smooth chest. "Do you like it?"

"What? Your hand?" Brendon asks, Ryan smiles.

"No, your past." He clarifies, watching Brendon carefully.

"Oh," Brendon's mouth pulls down into a tight frown. "Some of it's okay...there's other stuff that I would like to forget though."

"Then forget it." Ryan states, leans down into the other boy's space. "Forget all about it."

"Ry, what-"

Ryan presses a finger to Brendon's lips, quieting him instantly.

"If you don't like who you were, where you came from, then forget all about it. No one knows you now and that means you can be whatever, whoever you want."

Brendon still looks hesitant but Ryan is smiling as he leans back up and picks up one of Brendon's arms. "What do you see here?" The older boy asks, Brendon tilts his head, forehead crinkled in confusion.

"Nothing."

"Exactly!" Ryan is sounding excited again. "There's no chains here, nothing hold you down to your past. You're flying Brendon, soaring and you didn't even know it."

Ryan's words are easier said then done in Brendon's opinion. All this time but he still feels like that kid, even though he got out he still feels like he's stuck in that city, in that life.

'There's always a chance to break free." Ryan whispers, leaning back into Brendon's space. He's never really thought about it but god, it makes sense, Ryan makes sense and maybe that's just a little scary to Brendon.

"So, just forget it?" Brendon asks, words hitting against Ryan's skin and the older boy grins and nods, kisses Brendon.

A few of Ryan's bright yellow glowing warning stickers fall off and land directly on Brendon.

*
Jon texts Brendon while he's in class with Spencer. It's a simple message.

'Baby girl said yes, come over tonight?'

Brendon cannot contain his grin as he types out his reply. It's a yes and he knows that he should ask Ryan first but the boy already said he doesn't care if Brendon fucks around with Layla. The black haired boy hears Spencer's pocket start vibrating and he guesses that the younger boy is getting something akin to the same message.

Judging by the way his ice blue eyes darken, Brendon knows he's right.

"So, you talked to Jon?" Spencer asks after their class is over and they're walking back to Brendon and Ryan's apartment. Brendon is grinning as he nods, he's excited to see them again, to get back into that situation.

"You're going to go right?" Brendon asks, it's not that he wouldn't feel comfortable with just Jon and Layla but Spencer...a part of him likes seeing Spencer that way, out of control and being used. Spencer stares at him for a good long moment before he nods.

"Yeah, I could use a release."

Brendon tells Ryan and the older boy is actually the one to call Jon and arrange a proper time. It almost feels business like, Ryan putting Brendon out on loan, making arrangments.

"We leave at six." Ryan says with a snap of his cell phone. Brendon checks the clock and it's only four. Ryan smiles and slides into Brendon's lap, the younger boy seated in a soft lime green armchair. They're face to face, a smiling Ryan, a cheshire cat.

"You're eager." Ryan observes. Brendon nods.

"Sorry." He apologizes.

"Don't apologize. Just tell me what you want to do to her?" Ryan asks, leans in and nuzzles against Brendon's neck. Brendon's head is spinning and his cock is already half hard at the thought that he'll get a repeat of those past actions tonight.

"I...I wanted to eat her out." Brendon admits, cheeks pinking but Ryan leans back and smiles.

"That's interesting." He says, pushes up into Brendon's air space and licks the younger boy's bottom lip. "I'm sure she'll love it. Your mouth is fucking amazing." The black haired boy groans. "I can practically hear her crying out for you now." Sometime during his talking Ryan's hand has snaked down to Brendon's crotch and he's rubbing the younger boy through the rough fabric of his denim.

Brendon's head falls back against the back of the armchair. Ryan leans down and bites the pale column of the boy's neck. The memories of Ryan saying that no one else was allowed to mark Brendon come floating back into the black haired boy's mind. His dick twitches at the thought that Ryan's claiming him, showing Layla and everyone else just who Brendon belongs to.

Ryan stops his ministrations before Brendon comes. He keeps sucking on Brendon's neck though, the pulse point, teeth and tongue and wet, wet, sucking. Stopping only when Brendon's sporting a huge blueish bruise.

Once six o' clock rolls around he and Ryan go and fetch a cab. Spencer texting to say that he's going to meet them there. For once in their relationship, Ryan keeps his hands to himself during the cab ride. Brendon's still half hard though and that might be the only reason.

Ten minutes to Jon's place and Brendon wonders if there's going to be some kind of formality or if they're just going to get down to the good stuff. He and Ryan hold hands on the way to the door, Brendon's heart thumping wildly in anticipation. Jon must already know that they've arrived because he's tugging the door open and grinning that standard lazy grin, like he's always just woken up.

He pulls them inside, bonecrushing hugs and Ryan giggles against him. Brendon lets it go because yeah, Jon making Ryan giggle is nothing compared to Brendon making Layla come.

She's there too. Layla, standing there and smiling sweetly if not a little shyly at Brendon. Her dark hair is shorter and styled differently, sleek and straight, choppy bangs that almost match Jon's falling into the left side of her face. But she's still looks all sweet and innocent, still got that little baby face.

"Spence isn't here yet?" Ryan asks and Jon shakes his head.

"Not yet."

"Are you two hungry?" Layla asks, still smiling like a little angel, not at all like a girl who has three guys fuck her in one night. Ryan nods and Brendon smiles. Besides the lunch at college, Layla's cooking is the closest thing to a real meal that Brendon eats.

They eat, Brendon sitting across from Layla and Ryan from Jon. Ten minutes into the meal Brendon feels a warm foot sliding up the back of his leg, up, up, up, to his crotch, pressing lightly. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who it is. Layla smiles at him and Jon's watching.

Spencer shows up fifteen minutes into dinner and Brendon's slightly jealous at how easily he gels with Jon and Layla, how the two of them perk up at his arrival. Spencer sits next to Ryan and they all eat and joke and talk but Brendon's anxious, excited, feels like they all are.

Once the foods gone Jon's smiling at them. "Okay, shall we get started."

It progresses fairly quickly from there. The group moves into the living room, Jon pulling Layla against him and tipping her head back, kissing her. Brendon's never seen this part, before the fucking. Jon's touching her tits outside of her shirt, still claiming her mouth as his hands slip lower and he's tugging her shirt up and off of her, leaving her standing there in her bra.

Spencer smiles and reaches out a hand for her. She takes his hand and allows him to tug her against his body like Jon had. They're kissing too and Jon is shedding his own shirt. At some point, Brendon's not sure when, Ryan starts kissing his neck while they watch the ritual.

Spencer does what Jon had, touching her, his hands snake around her back and undo her bra, letting the black material fall to the floor between them. She kisses Spencer one last time before she turns to Brendon, Ryan falling back as the topless girl saunters over to him. The little shy part of her is hidden away fairly well, a playful grin on her face but there's a pink to her cheeks, a faint blush.

Brendon winds slightly shaking hands around her waist as he gets to kiss her too. Can taste the faintest hints of the other boys. He can see Spencer and Jon moving, kissing and Jon tugging Spencer's shirt off. Layla removes one of Brendon's hands from her waist and moves it down as she breaks their kiss.

"You do the pants." She tells him, leaving Brendon's hand to rest on the waistband of her jeans. Brendon nods dumbly before he leans in to kiss her once again, Layla nipping a bit at his bottom lip. His cock twitches because fuck, he can totally feel Ryan watching him. Sharp brown eyes locked on him, analyzing him and god, Brendon just wants to make it look good for Ryan.

He flicks the button open and worms his hand inside a bit, enough to get her jeans down her hips, gravity taking it from there and the fabric pools around her feet. Layla's now in her black lacy underwear and Brendon can't help but cup her firm ass.

They break apart, Layla turning to look back at Jon and Spencer, they too have split apart. Jon tilts his head towards the bedroom and Layla nods, slides to his side, grabs his hand and leads her boyfriend down the hall. Jon takes Spencer's hand in his own, the younger boy grinning wide and slightly dirty. Ryan claims one of Brendon's hands and by now Brendon isn't surprised to find Spencer take his free hand. A chain of people, very dirty people.

Once they're in the bedroom Jon has his hand in Layla's underwear, stroking her a bit before he's tugging them down, kissing her and getting her beautiful body laid out on the bed. Spencer comes up behind Jon and runs hands down firm chest, down to the oldest boy's jeans button, undoing them and sliding them down Jon's hips.

Jon turns, kisses Spencer and returns the favor. That leaves Ryan to undress Brendon, large warm hands sliding up his chest, tugging off his shirt and undoing his pants. In a very short amount of time Ryan is the only one fully dressed.

Ryan moves to the leathery armchair that Jon had been sitting in the last time Brendon was back here. He goes and sits, hand sliding between his legs and squeezing at his cock. Brendon's own dick twitches very visibly in response, Ryan grinning at his younger boyfriend. Spencer is sitting at the edge of the bed, Layla coming up behind him, draping her arms around his neck and pulling her chest tight to his back. She kisses at his ear, neck and she's won Brendon's attention.

"What were you thinking of doing, Brendon?" Jon asks, drawing the black haired boy's attention away from where Spencer and Layla are now kissing.

"He wanted to eat her out." Ryan supplies from his position on the armchair. Brendon closes his mouth from when he was about to speak and looks back at his boyfriend, Ryan winking at him.

"Mmm," Jon says grinning at Brendon whose staring back at Spencer and Layla. "How's that sound sweetheart?" The oldest man asks, Layla breaks away from the boy with a wet smacking sound.

"Sounds fucking amazing to me." She whispers, drops her hand lower on Spencer's chest, slipping down to rub at his cock. The brown haired boy tips his head back against the girl's shoulder, groaning under her touch. Jon's fixated on the two of them, eyes darkening.

"Fine, Spence, you wanna have a little fun with me?" Jon's asking. Spencer pants and nods at the older man, slips from the girl's grip and is now standing next to Jon, who promptly leans over and claims his lips just as his girlfriend had done moments before. Layla lays back on the bed, her head on the pillow and she's waiting, waiting for Brendon.

"Brendon." His name sounds so much better coming out of her mouth, his cock twitches again.

Brendon turns back to look at Ryan whose just watching, smiling a sly little smile. He squeezes his cock through his pants again and raises his other hand, ushering Brendon to go to her. He does, the bed dipping under his weight and he climbs up the length of the girl's body.

He and Layla are kissing again, soft pink mouth, her slender hands find his face cupping Brendon's face, using it as leverage to make the kiss deeper. Brendon's hands slide down the girl's body down her breasts, stomach, hips. The bed dips again and suddenly Jon and Spencer are falling to the bed, Jon on his back and Spencer on top of him. The two of them are kissing rough and wet, hands and teeth, biting.

Layla's hand comes to rest on the top of Brendon's head, nimble fingers carding through the boy's soft black hair. She pushes him down slightly, guiding him down to where she so desperately wants his mouth. Brendon can hear Jon chuckling softly from next to them. The boy drops down, brown eyes scanning up and catching the sight of Spencer doing the same, the two of them mirror copies of each other.

Jon's girlfriend spreads her legs for him as Brendon settles between them. This isn't like giving a blowjob but he thinks he can swing it, he wants to do it well, for both Ryan and Layla's sake. Brendon's hands and lips find her milky thighs, lacing kisses and holding her open. He dips his head, red tongue flickering out to lick at her folds, her clit.

Layla groans out instantly, hand still tangled in his hair. "Fuck," That's Jon, Brendon tilts his head slightly to catch sight of Jon watching Brendon, watching him go down on his girlfriend. Spencer's lips are wrapped tight around Jon's thick cock, his head bobbing as he swallows the oldest boy down. Jon's got his fingers resting on the back of Spencer's neck, not pushing just letting the youngest boy take what he wants, what he can.

Brendon uses his one hand to hold the girl open and his other to trace at her flesh gently, rubbing and testing, earning himself different reactions from the girl. It's like an experiment, where can he touch her to get her to cry out like she had done before? What will she do if he adds his fingers to the mix?

Layla hooks her legs over his shoulders. The girl's panting out, sharp intakes of breath.

"How is he?" That's Ryan, Ryan's asking about him and Brendon wants to turn around and look at his boyfriend but god, she's so wet and soft and good.

"Ah, so good, so ah-" Layla's fingers tighten in his hair as Brendon licks over her clit. He sets up a brutal pace, flickering his tongue quickly over her, daring to slide a long finger into her. Her hips arch beautifully, riding his wet mouth. Brendon glances over at Jon and Spencer, Jon's looking down at the youngest boy, carding his fingers through the boy's hair. Spencer is staring up at Jon, wet sucking sounds as Spencer hollows his cheeks, deepthroats Jon.

"God, Spence."

"He's got a mouth on him doesn't he?" Ryan asks from his position on the chair. Brendon can see the smile in his mind, the way Ryan's watching with dark eyes. Watching his best friend and his boyfriend.

"Yeah, he's so beautiful." Jon praises, pets Spencer. The youngest boy makes a whiny noise in his throat and Jon groans, tipping his head back.

Brendon moves and thrusts his tongue inside the girl, switching his thumb to flicker over her clit. Fingers grip in his hair, just this side of painful but Brendon's dick twitches all the same. He's lapping at her, trying to match his speed with Spencer whose still bobbing along on Jon's cock, dropping down till his chin is brushing against Jon's balls.

Jon groans and shifts, laying back on



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