Saturday, February 7, 2009

wentz
wentz in wonderland



chapter one: ryan ross doesn't even like rabbits!

peter wentz lay in the grass in the meadow on a warm summer day with his pet dog hemmingway. he laid under the shadows of the large oak tree sprawled on his stomach his lyrical notebook in hand. pete thumbed through the old worn pages of the notebook sastisfied with the words he had written.

"this next cd is going to be the best one yet!" pete proclaimed "right hemmy?" he asked his loyal pet bulldog, knowing full well that he wouldn't get a response. "hemmy?" pete asked and turned to see the spot where his pet was lying was now empty. pete rolled onto his back and sat up searching the surrounding area for his 'missing' pet. pete spotted hemingway just in time to see him sniffing around a tall skinny man standing near the edge of the meadow.

"ryan?" pete asked confused as he saw his friend the guitarist for the band painc! at the disco. pete stood now, confused as to what in the world ryan ross would be doing out in a meadow with him.

"ryan" pete said again as he took a step towards the younger man. ryan turned to look at pete he was adorned in black pants and a tight red jacket with a large gold clock hanging around his neck.

"what are you flava flav?" peter asked jokingly, ryan said nothing only gave pete a passing glance as he looked down to the clock that adorned his chest.

"is this the time?!" he asked surprised "i'm sorry, i must be on my way! i'm late! i'm late! for a very important date!" ryan cried before taking off at full speed towards the edge of the meadow with hemmingway at his heels.

pete stood in shock for a moment at the unusual behavior of the young rockstar, before he remembered that hemmingway was following ryan!

"hemmy, no! heel boy!" he yelled to the dog. when hemingway showed no signs of stopping pete sighed and began to chase after the dog who was chasing after the boy, pete continued chasing ryan and hemingway until pete finally had them in his sights. he watched as ryan stopped infront of what looked like a small rabbits hole dug into the earth.

"ha caught you know ryan" pete began as he stopped to catch his breath "you'll never fit in there" he laughed.

ryan was the type of boy who liked to prove people wrong, and he did just that to pete by squeezing his thin frame down the blackness of the rabbit hole.

"the hell?" pete said as he stared at the hole unblinkingly, refusing to believe that the young man had fit. he probably would've kept on staring had it not been for hemingway's barking. pete looked down at the dog just in time to see him too fall down into the abyss of the hole.

"hemmy!" pete cried for once hoping that the pooch would listen to him, but unlike most people these days hemingway didn't and proceeded with a leap down into the hole. pete of course being the responsible pet owner that he was leaped after him without a second thought and he too fell into the darkness.


chapter two: don't trust the talking doorknob

pete wentz always imagined what death would feel like, but he never imagined anything like this. he was falling through a seemingly never ending darkness. the same darkness that had swallowed up ryan ross and hemingway, but pete couldn't see either of the aformentioned party, hell in the darkness he could barely see his own hand inches away from his face.

pete began to wonder if maybe seeing ryan and his dog were just his imaginations way of leading him into death, and the more he thought about it the more it seemed reasonable. he must've died out in that meadow while working on those lyrics that were now useless, sure that was probably it. maybe he had a heart attack? or was mobbed by a group of fangirls and torn to bits? pete hoped for the latter because he was sure no one else had ever died that way.

before pete could go on wondering morbidly about how he had died the darkness stopped. and suddenly pete wasn't falling but floating downwards. the reason for the sudden floating was that the wind had caught pete's hoodie and had puffed it open much like a parachute. pete eased his way down until he saw walls surounding him, the walls held knick knacks and other things that weren't too important to pete at the moment. pete had somehow gone upside down and landed with a small thud on the floor of a long tunnel.

a flash of red caught pete's eye and he looked up to see ryan was standing only a few feet away from him. "ryan" pete called out to his friend hoping to get some anwsers as to where the hell they were and what ryan was late for, but it looked like those answers would have to wait as ryan once again proclaimed he was late and took off down the tunnel. "ross, stop running away dammit!" pete yelled as he scrambled to get up and chase after the young guitarist, his own words echoing back at him in the tunnel.

he found himself once again chasing after ryan through this unknow world. pete could see that they were heading into a an empty looking room with a large wooden door and little else. ryan reached the door first and proceeded through it with little ease, "does he seriously think he can hide behind a door?" pete wondered as it was he was drawing closer to the seemingly normal door. pete was so preoccupied by his thoughts that he didn't notice the door getting smaller and smaller. when pete finally reached the door he noticed that it was now barely large enough to fit his head.

pete stood in disbelief for a moment before his anger took over him. "what the hell is this place?" pete asked no one in paticular so he was surprised when he got an anwser.

"this is wonderland" the male voice echoed around the nearly empty room.

pete whipped around quickly. his dark eyes scanning every inch of the odd room for any sign of the mystery voice. "who said that?" pete asked as he realized that there was no one in the room with him..at least that he could see.

"it was me" he heard the voice again this time much closer. pete looked down to see the copper doorknob was the one speaking to him.

"what the hell? your a doorknob you can't talk!" pete exclaimed at the now alive doorknob.

"well you can't play the bass" the doorknob retorted back. pete forgot his 'i must be dead' theory and instead created a new one the 'i'm dreaming' theory, because only in his twisted dreams could he be insulted by a doorknob.

"whatever" pete began as he ignored the doorknob's insult. "listen i want to get through this door can you help me?" pete said never thinking in all his life that he'd ever be asking a doorknob for help.

"just go through it?" was all the cocky doorknob replied.

"hello, my head won't even fit" pete said

"that's because you have a huge ego" the doorknob insulted him once more.

"dammit are you going to help me or not?" pete asked. the doorknob let out an exasperated sigh.

"there on the table behind you there's a bottle labeled 'drink me' do what it says"

"what table? there was no table in this room." pete said turning around his jaw dropped when he saw a metal table sat there with a small bottle of purplish fluid labled drink me.

"stupid materializing table" pete mumbled as he marched over to the table. he grabbed the bottle and eyed it wearingly before swigging most of it down. almost instantly pete could feel himself shrinking down until he was just the right size for the door. pete stood proudly and walked to the door before turning the handle and giving a good pull. the door failed to open, pete tried again with a bit more force but still the door wouldn't budge.

"what's going on?" pete asked the doorknob.

"oh did i forget to mention that i'm locked?" the doorknob asked and pete felt his hands twist into fists.

"so now what where is the key?" pete asked.

"up there on the table" the doorknob said as it eyed pete. pete's mouth dropped open and he growled a bit.

"i'm too small to carry that key now, so any other idea's?" he asked the doorknob.

"there is a box of cookies on the table as well eat one and you'll grow large again" the doorknob told him. pete turned

"i hate this place" he said as he made his way back to the table.

somehow pete had managed to climb up to the table and he proceeded to eat a cookie. instantly his body grew large, too large and he found himself cramped inside the room. now frustrated pete felt his eyes prick with tears at the thought of spending an eternity with a talking doorknob. pete cried and his huge tears filled the room.

"you idiot drink the remaining fluid and shrink back down!" the doorknob cried. pete did as he was told and gulped down the liquid, again he shrank and again he was too small, so small infact that he slipped down into the empty bottle and floated right out the doorknob's mouth on his ocean of tears.

"saved by an ocean of tears? doesn't get more emo then that" pete laughed to himself.


chapter three: the way brothers recite poetry but not as good as me

after finally escaping the boring room with the rude doorknob. pete washed up somewhere outside, he climbed out of the bottle not bothering too much to wonder how any of what just happened made any sense at all. pete was just thankful to be on the now damp earth again.

he surveyed his surroundings and saw nothing but lots of green earth that stretched farther then he could see. pete heard a noise from behind him he whipped around thinking that maybe it was ryan finally ready to give him some anwsers, but he should've know by now that in this wonderland what he thinks is never right.

instead of seeing ryan like he wanted he saw a group of strange animals, the main one being the once thought extinct dodo bird. pete noticed that the dodo and the other animals surrounding it were all dripping wet persumably from the ocean of tears that had just passed by. pete thought for a moment about asking the animals if they had seen ryan. he actually considered this until he realized that animals don't talk, hell i just had a conversation with a doorknob. i might as well give this a shot. pete thought before clearing his throat and stepping up towards the animals.

"hey any of you guys seen a kid wearing a clock?" pete asked the group of soggy animals. the dodo gave pete a queer look as if he didn't know what in the world pete was saying. pete gave a heavy sigh and looked away from the group deciding to start looking for ryan on his own. before pete could take off and begin to explore he felt the scruff of his hoodie being grabbed. he turned just enough to see the beak of the dodo holding him firmly in place.

"what? i didn't do anything! if this is about that whole extinct thing...well i'm sorry about that" pete told the bird. his makeshift apology seemed to do the trick as the bird released him. pete fixed his clothes and turned back to look at the animals. they had formed a line as if they were at a starting line.

"race" the bird quipped out.

"excuse me?" pete asked dumbfounded that the bird could in fact talk.

"we race" the bird said again but this time it too went to stand in the line along with his commrades.

"well that's just great." pete began with fake enthusiasim, "but i'm awfully busy so i'll just be going now" pete said as he tried to make his escape from the odd creatures. before he could get too far the dodo once again seized him on the arm this time.

"you race, caucus race" the bird told him. pete not fully knowing what the word caucus meant finally gave up and went to stand in line with the animals. the dodo too took a spot and they all stood there for a moment before the dodo suddenly yelled "go".

pete was off running half heartedly he didn't really want to get lost here in this new world, but on the other hand these animals were the only contact he had in this world. pete continued running chasing after the surprisingly quick animals and thankful for his years as a soccer player. he probably would've kept following had he not caught a glimpse of red. pete stopped while the animals continued on.

"ryan?" pete questioned as he followed the glimpse. pete was right it was ryan, he was standing just outside of a glade surrounded by a thick forest. ryan ran into the glade and pete followed.

pete emerged into the secluded clearing but saw no ryan. "dammit! how does he keep getting away from me?" pete asked outloud.

"he's like a rabbit" he heard a voice say.

"like a great white rabbit" a second voice added. pete whirled around the clearing looking everywhere for the two oddly familar voices. great more mystery voices! last time it was a doorknob what is it this time? a damn lamp? pete wondered.

"who are you and where are you for that matter?" pete asked wondering if he'd get an anwser and even if he did get an anwser would he even like it? before pete could do much of anything else two figures came bounding out of the woods surrounding the clearing. the two figures stood in front of pete arm in arm and bouncing excitedly on their heels.

"i should've perdictided this" pete mutter to himself as he saw the faces of the mystery men.

"hi i'm gerard or tweedle gee!" the first pale dark haired man exclaimed

"and" began the younger also dark haired pale man next to him "i am mikey or tweedle M" pete wondered why in the hell gerard and mikey way the two brothers from the band my chemical romance were doing in a place like this. he was tempted to ask the two brothers a million questions but he settled on a simple one instead.

"have you guys seen ryan ross?" pete asked, still determined to find and get anwsers out of ryan.

"the white rabbit is too busy too play" gerard said as he began to slowly circle around pete

"he's not a rabbit" pete griped

"hey calm down petey take life come what may" mikey said as he followed gerard in the circle path they were making around peter.

"oh cute. your rhyming" pete said sounding none too pleased with the nonsense the way brothers were causing.

"would you have us say something else?" gerard asked as he came back into pete's view before promptly continuing his path around pete

"lyrics maybe?" mikey chimed in. the two brothers made their way back around to stand infront of pete. they gave each other a slight glance and smirk before gerard stepped out and offered pete his hand

"shall we dance,dance?" he asked before breaking down into a series of giggles accompanied by mikey's laughter.

pete sighed even though he was finding the way brothers antics entertaining.
"listen i'd love to stay and chat but do you think you guys can help me find ryan?"

"he's in the carpal tunnel of love" mikey said as he jumped on gerard's back. pete let out a deep sigh, it was obvious that he was going to get no help from these two.

"well guys i'd love to stick around but i have a emo boy to catch"

"don't we all" gerard muttered. pete grinned and nodded to the siblings before heading off into the direction he thought he saw ryan go.

"thanks for the memories!" he heard mikey and gerard call to him and their laughter again.


chapter four: cupcakes and gender confusion

after escaping the insane wonderland versions of the way brothers, pete was basically wandering aimlessly in a direction he thought he saw ryan go. he continued to wander not really knowing where he was going, but it's not like it was the first time he ever wandered aimlessly in a unknown place.

by now pete was moving only by habit. his thoughts lost somewhere far away. pete thought about what would happen if he never got out of wonderland. before he could think too much on the subject he felt himself stumble and he came out of his thoughts just in time to watch himself fall down the side of a small hill. pete couldn't regain his footing and proceeded to tumble down the hill until he at last landed shaken and dirty at the foot of the hill.

pete groaned and stood before dusting himself off. he looked ahead of him and saw a large two story house before him. "that's weird" pete said outloud as he made his way towards the house. "maybe whoever lives here will know where to find ryan" pete thought. peter didn't have to wonder for very long, as he passed through the gate and into the front yard of the house he saw a small sign stuck in the yard. 'the white rabbit' was all the sign read and pete's hopes shot up that maybe this was ryan's house.

pete practically dashed full speed to the front door before knocking excitedly. he waited bouncing on his heels excited at the prospects of getting out of wonderland. when no one anwsered pete knocked again harder this time. it was only a few moments before the wooden door was pulled open and sure enough there stood ryan ross in all his glory.

"ryan!" pete exclaimed both pleased at finding the young guitarist and upset at the chase he put him through.

"your late, come inside." ryan told pete. the older boy nodded and followed ryan into the house. ryan led pete through the living room to the kitchen.

"ryan, what's going on? do you know how to get back to the real world? i-" pete was cut off by a glaring ryan, he adjusted the clock he was wearing.

"belinda, go and fetch me my gloves" ryan told pete, the older boy was confused.

"belinda? whose belinda?" pete asked ryan.

"you, you idiot. your my maid belinda! now go and fetch me my gloves!" ryan shouted and for such a scrawny kid he could sure yell loud.

"i'm not your maid! and i'm sure as hell not a girl!" pete yelled back. ryan gave him a puhleeze kind of look.

"you could've fooled me" ryan deadpanned, pete snorted.

"right this coming from the girliest guy's in the world" pete shot back.

"oh? are you looking in a mirror?" ryan retorted. pete grumbled, upset that ryan didn't remember him and upset that his one last hope for getting out of this wretched place was now gone.

ryan had walked away from pete still demanding that the boy fetch his gloves. pete didn't even know where to begin looking for the stupid gloves so he still stood dumbly in the kitchen. pete suddenly realized that he was extreamly hungry his stomach growling at him, he shrugged and figured that if he was going to search for ryan's gloves then at least ryan owed him a meal. pete's eyes scanned the shiny blue countertop before he caught sight of something he knew he couldn't resist.

a cupcake sat on the counter just begging to be eaten. pete knew that in wonderland the chances were good that this was no ordinary cupcake but he still couldn't resist. he rushed over to the sweet treat and devoured it in two bites. feeling oddly full after his one cupcake pete left the kitchen to search for the missing gloves that ryan was adamant about finding. pete went into a spare room and opened a chest looking for the gloves. "ugh i don't feel so well" pete mumbled to himself as he peered into the chest. "why the hell is this thing getting smaller?" peter wondered as the chest became smaller and smaller.

by the time pete realized what was happening he had already grown too large. pete's arms and legs broke through the holes where the houses windows once were. pete's head had busted through the roof and he could now see the entire west side of wonderland. pete could also see a very shocked, very pissed looking ryan ross in his front yard.

"a monster! someone help! a monster has destroyed my house!" ryan shouted.

"i'm not a monster" pete bellowed back. ryan didn't listen and instead continued screaming bloodly murder.

eventually some help came to ryan's aid. pete sighed as he saw what had come to help ryan. the same stupid dodo that had made pete race.

"it is a monster!" the dodo screeched "but i can help!" it proclaimed "bill!" it called.

"who the hell is bill?" pete asked. seconds later a green lizard with a pushbroom on his back showed up in front of the house.

"i have an idea" bill began "we tear the roof off!" he proclaimed before scurrying up the side of the house and sliding down into the chimney. bill slipping into the chimney caused some dark black soot to rise up right into pete's face.

before he could do anything to stop it pete sneezed and blew the chimney and bill sky high. "sorry bill" pete yelled.

"now what?" ryan asked exasperated.

"i have one more idea" the dodo said as he rushed inside ryan's house. he came out moments later with pleanty of broken furniture. "we smoke it out" the dodo excalimed.

"oh shit." pete muttered, he was no scienctist but even he knew that this couldn't end well. the dodo continued smashing and breaking many of ryan's posessions much to ryan's objection. before anyone could stop it the dodo had lit a small fire and pete knew he would die if he didn't get out. glancing around pete spotted a vegtable garden to his right praying that his idea work he grabbed a carrot and ate it.

in mere seconds pete had shrunk back down to about three inches small. "great, tiny again" pete grumbled. he made his way out of the burning house just in time to see ryan had once again taken off in a run. pete chased after him for what felt like the hundreth time. "that kid must like the chase" pete sighed as he followed ryan.


chapter five: singing flowers and master hurley

pete raced after ryan still chasing him through the strange wonderland. he would probably be able to catch him if he hadn't been three inches tall. before he realized he had once again lost track of ryan. he continued on until he saw gigantic colorful shoots before him. "what now?" pete wondered outloud as he approached the once giant shoots. the shoots had now shrunk down to about the same size as pete and he realized that they were flowers.

"flowers" pete said outloud expecting no response but again he had yet to figure in the rules of wonderland.

"yes, we're flowers" a soft airy voice replied. pete looked to his right to see a violet talking to him. pete was only a bit surprised by the talking flowers and he guessed that maybe he was getting used the creatures of wonderland.

"uh-hi" was all pete managed to say as he was unsure of what types of things one talks to flowers about.

"hello" the violet said cheerfully. when pete said nothing else the flower took it upon itself to talk more with him. "welcome to the garden" it said.

"the garden?" peter wondered outloud. he scanned his surroundings and saw a bevy of flowers all surrounding him.

"come on" the violet instructed "let's go in" it said as it wrapped it's leafy hand around his wrist and pulled him inside.

instantly all sorts of flowers had surrounded them. each flower had taken on an almost human like apperance. their leaves had changed into something like hands and their roots now makeshift feet. the flowers had made their way around him their eyes watching him.

"we should sing for him!" one flower suggested.

another nodded "yeah that's a good idea!".

"what should we sing about?" a daisy asked

"hmmm i got it what about if we sing about what kind of flower he is!" a lily annouced.

"yeah that's a great idea!" a few flowers in the back agreed.

the violet that stood next to pete turned to face him "so what kind of flower are you?" it asked.

pete wasn't sure what to say. the flowers had all decided things so fast and he still wasn't sure about anything. he didn't even know how they mistaked him for a flower in the first place considering that he didn't have leaves or petals. pete decided to go the honest route and tell them that he wasn't a flower.

"um funny thing. i'm actually not a flower." pete told the group.

the flowers gasped and began instantly chattering amoung themselves.

"he's not a flower? then what the heck is he?" he heard them whisper.

"maybe he's a weed!" one of the flowers yelled causing instant terror in the other flowers.

"a weed! that must be it! he's a weed!" the flowers yelled at him.

"wait everyone will go see master about this" the violet next to pete said. it's words serving to calm down the other flowers.

"yeah let's go see master!" the flowers agreed and before pete could say or do anything his arms were grabbed by two flowers and he was dragged away to see this 'master' of the flowers.

the group of flowers lead pete deep into the garden passing other flowers who looked on and whispered to their neighbors. eventually the flowers lead pete to a very leafy looking spot. the flowers holding pete stopped as did any others who had happened to follow the group. the violet that pete had first met stepped up to a huge leaf before bowing down slightly.

"master, we need your assistance" the violet called to the leaf. silence was heard for a few long moments before a sigh was heard

"fine pull back the curtains" pete heard a oddly familar voice say. instantly two flowers jumped out and pulled back the leafs that made a makeshift chambers for the master of the flowers. the leaf curtains fell away and the infamous master stepped out for pete to see.

"andy!?!" pete cried as he saw what was once his friend and drummer. now andy wasn't a person but a rose with a human face. needless to say it was one of the scariest things pete had yet to see in wonderland. andy surveyed pete

"how did you know my name?" he asked pete as he stood infront of him. what could pete say uh your only one of my oldest friends and not a flower! somehow he figured that it wouldn't work.

"i guessed" pete muttered. andy gave him a skeptical look before looking at the flowers holding him.

"what is this about?" andy asked as he paced back and forth.

"well master" the violet began "we thought this creature was a flower but he is not and we suspect him to be a weed" it told andy. andy's eyes widened at the word weed.

"of course he is a weed! i mean look at him!" andy stated as he gingerly touched pete as if he were diseased ridden or something.

"hey, i'm not a weed!" pete protested.

"yeah right weeds always say that" andy told the captured pete. "throw him out of the garden!" andy cried. pete tried his best to protest but before he could do anything all the flowers rushed him and tossed him out on his butt out of their garden.

"like i wanted to be a gay flouncy flower anyway!" pete yelled back at them while he stood and dusted himself off. pete didn't really have an idea as to where to go yet. he stood thinking until he saw the smoke rising faintly in the distance. with no where to go pete decided to go in the direction of the smoke hoping that it lead to somewhere kinder then a bunch of mean spirited flowers.


chapter six: caterpillers and magic mushrooms

pete had followed the faint smoke through the woods. the smoke he noticed had become thicker and was varying in color. pete had followed the smoke to the edge of a clearing but hadn't yet ventured into it. with pete being only three inches tall he was worried what sort of creatures he would encounter. pete stood waiting just outside the clearing in a bunch of shrubs and bushes listening for any danger. when there was none to be found pete shrugged and moved into the clearing.

pete was surrounded by dark earth and mushrooms the size of himself. pete could now see what creature was emitting the smoke. there sitting on one of the large mushrooms was his friend and fellow band mate joe trohman.

"joe?" pete said out of pure surprise as he stepped fully into the clearing.

"whose asking?" joe said in one of those stereotypically rich sounding voices.

"joe it's me peter" pete said as he walked up to his friend. joe eyed him warily as he took a puff off the pipe he held.

"petah? i don't know any petah." joe said as he blew the thick blue smoke out of his mouth. the smoke pete noticed had taken the shape of the name petah and the word now hung in the air.

joe didn't recongize him and pete should've know that because ryan and andy hadn't recongized him either. while pete stood there thinking, joe looked on still smoking his pipe.

"hey joe, do you know anyway i can grow taller?" pete asked his smoking friend. joe thought for a moment

"do you know anyway a alligator can have less teeth?" he asked as light green smoke poured from him and into the shape of an alligator.

ok obviously this joe get's high too pete thought to himself as he watched the smoke alligator dance above his head. pete sighed and shifted a little as he waited for something resembling a real answer to his question. when one didn't come pete asked again

"so can you help me?" joe watched pete while he took another hit off his pipe.

"because i really don't want to stay this size" pete told him as he took a seat on a nearby squishy mushroom.

"what's so wrong with this size?" joe asked pete as if he had offended him.

"no, well i mean it's ok for you to be this size but not me" pete fumbled out while he continued to watch the darkily colored smoke pictures dance above joe's head.

"not good enough for you?" joe said "i suppose you think your better then the rest of us?" he spat out at pete. joe's words copied by the dark red smoke. pete could tell this conversation was getting worse by the second and his chance to get information from joe was falling apart.

"that's not what i meant. i mean your used to being this size and me i'm used to being bigger"
pete told the obviously angry joe.

"so just because i'm this size means that you can insult me!" joe yelled.

"no, i-" pete began but was cut off by joe.

"you think you can come into my clearing while i'm enjoying a nice smoke and demand that i help you get taller because you hate being the same size as me!" joe was now standing and yelling a cloud of dark smoke shifted over his head.

"i didn't demand anything i-" pete tried once again to talk and once again joe interrupted him.

"i'm leaving!" joe annouced as he grabbed his pipe and began to walk away. pete said nothing to stop him and gave up on getting any help from his warped friend. joe was almost out of the clearing when he shouted back a message for pete.

"if this small you don't want to be stuck, try taking a bite of what's under your butt!" he yelled at pete.

pete sat for a moment trying his best to understand joe's cryptic message.

"what's under my butt?" pete looked down to see the mushroom he was sitting on. "that's got to be it!" pete said as he leaped off his newly found treasure. pete decided to break off two pieces of the mushroom one from each side.

pete held the two pieces in his hand but didn't taste either of them yet. he was a bit wary as to why joe would help him after he had made him so angry. perhaps the mushrooms were poisoned? pete quickly pushed that thought out of his mind as he took a bite of the first piece of mushroom.

instantly pete felt his body grow and he looked down to see that his feet were a million miles away. he had grown too large and his head was now in the tree tops. a bird noticed pete's presence and attacked him thinking that he was a monster of some kind. inbetween getting attacked by the bird pete managed to take a bite of the second piece of mushroom. before he could do much of anything he was once again three inches tall.

pete comprismised by taking a small lick of the first piece of mushroom. he grew again this time to his normal size. elated pete put the mushroom pieces into his pocket for later use. now his normal size pete once again set off into the woods and once again not knowing exactly where he was going.


chapter seven: pete never was a cat person

after pete's encounter with the disgruntled joe pete was more afraid then ever about who or what he might run into. he walked slow and with no real direction. after all he had no idea where he was heading or where ryan might have gone. he trudged slow and lazy and tried not to think to hard about what might happen if he never got out of wonderland.

"thinking hard or hardly thinking?" he heard a familar voice ask him. pete turned quickly to see no one standing behind him despite the fact that, that was the direction the voice had come from. pete let out a defeated sigh. wonderland really knew how to kick a guy when he's down. pete turned back around from the emptiness behind him and was shocked to find someone standing in the path before him.

there infront of pete stood a young man a pale slightly chubby young man with strawberry blonde hair.

"patrick?!?" pete said out of shock at seeing his best friend and lead singer standing infront of him. patrick grinned slyly as if he knew something that pete did not. "i'm not patrick" patrick began. pete said nothing as he was beginning to grow accustom to the wonderland versions of his friends.

"then who are you?" peter asked his friend.

patrick or at least what looked like patrick grinned again and did a small slight jig that would've made fangirls squeal in delight in any other situation.

"i am-" he began in a very showy and overdramatic way. "the cheshire pat!" he annouced waving his arms in a fashion as if to say taa-dah!

"oh dear god" pete said at the scene that had just unfolded before him. patrick still stood before him grinning.

"now you know who i am, so who are you?" patrick asked as he disappeared right before pete's eyes only to reapear above him seemingly floating in mid air.

"i'm peter" pete said as he looked up at the grinning levitating patrick stump.

"peter, you know that's a dirty name" patrick said as he once again appeared on the ground before pete. pete sighed and realized that now he understood what patrick went through went pete acted goofy.

"hey cheshire pat, you don't happen to know where ryan ross is do you?" pete asked figuring that it was worth a shot. patrick thought for a moment as he lay on his side on the ground one arm supporting him and the other patting the earth.

"i know a lot of things friend" patrick said with a smirk that made pete believe that he did in fact know where ryan ross was.

"i don't really have time for this" pete said as he tapped his foot a bit. with each second he spent in wonderland it seemed that normal life was getting farther and farther away.

"no one really has time for anything" patrick said again as he rolled onto his back.

"patrick come on! do you know or not?" pete asked as he kicked dirt at patrick. the dirt never hit patrick seeing as he disapeared before it could.

patrick sighed "you're not as fun as you seem" patrick pouted

"listen dick-" patrick began

"it's peter" pete corrected him

"aren't they the same thing?" patrick asked again with that sly grin plastered on his face. pete actually cracked a small smile this time unable to ignore patrick's somewhat clever remark.

"ok pete, just keep going straight and eventually you'll run into the mad hatter and he should be able to help you" patrick said again levitating.

"thanks patrick" pete said to his fading away friend.

"ok bye pee-pee" patrick said before disapearing completely. pete sighed again and for what seemed like the hundereth time that day he was walking in the woods alone.


chapter eight: panic at the tea table

pete was still recovering from his run in with bizarro wonderland patrick, so he was a bit apprehensive about going to the mad hatter's house, but if he could help then he would suck it up and go. no matter what or who would be there when he showed up.

pete walked in the direction patrick had pointed out. he was searching for something that resembled a house but what he found was no where near a home. pete stopped a good five feet away when he spotted it, an absurdly long bright pink kitchen table sat out in the middle of nowhere. a variety of chairs where sat around the table, the largest and grandest being sat at the head of the table. tea pots and cups were set all along the table along with china plates. pete expected someone to be sitting at the table but no one was to be found.

pete contemplated what sorts of things could go wrong if he approached the table. none of them seemed too bad so he cautiously approached the nearly neon table. pete reached the table and still nothing out of the ordinary happened. he thought that maybe the fact that a table was in the middle of nowhere was the only strange thing.

up close there was nothing odd about the table except it's color. there infront of pete was a cup of tea. pete thought about taking a sip but remembered the last time he ingested something from wonderland and quickly decided against it. pete was slightly confused, patrick had said that the march hare and mad hatter would be somewhere around here and that they could help. but pete still saw no one.

pete was beginning to think that maybe trusting patrick a.k.a the cheshired pat was a bad idea. pete pulled out one of the many chairs and took a seat to rest before deciding what to do. just as pete took his seat two figures seemingly appeared out of no where.

"jon! he's trying to steal our tea!" one figure shouted as it jumped out from under the table and stood before pete pointing an accusing overdramatic finger at pete.

"we must stop him spencer!" the second figure yelled and he too jumped out and glared at peter. as usual with the people he met in wonderland pete recongized the two men standing before him. the two men were spencer smith and jon walker. two members of the band panic at the disco.

"spencer? jon?" pete asked still a bit surprised at their presence in wonderland. spencer who was decked out in an outlandish orange vest and matching necktie, gasped and turned to jon

"jon! he knows our names!" jon looked at pete as if trying to decide what to do about the situation. pete surveyed jon, he was wearing a dark green blazer buttoned up with a green necktie and matching large top hat.

"how do you know our names stranger?" he asked pete. peter sighed not really wanting to explain that in some other world he helped make them famous.

"it doesn't matter but listen i wasn't going to steal your tea" pete pleaded with jon and spencer because if these two were the march hare and mad hatter then he would need their help.

"see spencer you overdramatic twit he wasn't trying to steal our tea." jon scolded spencer. spencer look offended for a moment before recovering

"well one must be cautious when you have excellent tea like this!" spencer exclaimed as he took a seat across from where pete still remained seated.

"yes, our tea is excellent, as are our tea parties" jon said as he took the head seat at the table, with pete positioned at his left and spencer at his right.

"spencer we got so distracted by this boy that we forgot what day it is!" jon said as he grabbed the tea pot

"oh yes! how could we forget!" spencer chimed in. pete was sorta apprehensive to ask just what it was that the two of them forgot, but despite his better judgement he did anyway.

"uh just what did you two forget?" pete asked as he gingerly laid a hand on the table. jon and spencer both looked at pete with wild grins on their faces.

"it's our unbirthday's today!" jon exclaimed "it's your unbirthday too!" spencer chimed in.

"unbirthday?" pete asked thinking he already knew the anwser but asked anyway.

"anyday that's not your birthday" spencer and jon said together as jon poured himself and spencer some tea.

"would you like some tea?" jon asked pete, pete thought for a moment before nodding and holding out the light blue tea cup for jon to take. unfourtanatly pete never got his tea as suddenly jon dropped the tea cup and looked at spencer with a wild excitment in his eyes as the tea cup smashed to the floor.

"time to switch!" jon proclaimed and before pete could do or say anything jon and spencer were up and dashing about the table. this would've been alright if jon hadn't knocked pete down onto the table spilling tea and smashing cake onto his front. spencer didn't help matter either by rushing past pete and knocking over the chair pete had been sitting in causing peter to fall to the ground when he tried to climb off the table.

in a matter of seconds jon and spencer had nearly completely destroyed the tea table and had reclaimed their original seats. while pete had dusted himself off from falling on the ground and he too reclaimed his seat.

"now how about some tea?" jon asked again and although pete was shaken and covered in tea and frosting he nodded again and offered a different tea cup. once again poor peter never got his tea seeing as at that exact moment another person emerged from the woods and joined the tea party, the very person that pete had been chasing all day, mr. ryan ross.

jon once again dropped pete's tea cup this time out of surprise.

"ryan!" jon and spencer proclaimed as they darted over to the boy.

"come to join our party?" jon asked as he bounced eagerly in front of ryan.

"no-i" ryan began before noticing pete and turning to look at him.

"belinda? what are you doing here?" ryan asked as a look of confusion over took his boyish face. pete sighed

"my name isn't belinda! it's peter-" pete tried to get out before spencer interrupted him

"pan?" spencer added before cackling at his own joke

"wrong movie spencer" jon told him as he joined in the laughter

pete sighed and ryan looked like he was in pain. pete realized that this was his chance to finally get some anwsers from ryan but before he could ask the all important question of how to get back home jon took ryan's attention instead.

"tea ryan?" jon asked ryan nodded.

"yes sounds lovely" ryan said as he offered jon his tea cup.

"no, jon i want to serve ryan tea!" spencer whined and shoved jon causing jon to jolt suddenly to the left right where ryan was standing. in an instant ryan got a crotch full of semi hot tea and pete knew if anything was going to make him run it would be a hot crotch full of tea, and sure enough ryan was screaming and swearing and tearing off through the woods but pete was on his tail this time, and he was determined to get some anwsers.


chapter nine: the return of the cheshire pat

pete was hot on ryan's tail chasing him throughout the woods. he could still see ryan and he knew he could keep up with him. at least that's what pete thought, but as the chase wore on ryan seemed to be getter farther away and he didn't seem to be losing any energy unlike pete who was gasping and slowing down. before pete realized it ryan was again gone and he began to wonder if maybe he had those disapearring powers like patrick did.

pete stopped in the middle of the woods, rather in the middle of nowhere. it felt like he had already done this a million or so times today and he suddenly went back to his 'i am dead' theory now thinking that this wonderland was hell and his punishment was to forever chase ryan ross and meet up with his friends who no longer knew him.

pete was now frustrated more then he had ever been in his entire life. he grew angrier with each passing second until he could take no more and let out of a earth shattering scream. after his scream pete oddly felt a little better. pete sighed and took a seat on a nearby stump.

"hey wouldn't you rather sit on this stump?" he heard a male voice say, a voice he's heard so many times that he already knew who it was. pete lifted his head to see patrick aka the cheshire pat standing there winking at him. if pete wasn't so sure he'd say that wonderland patrick was hitting on him.

"hey, trick" pete mumbled obviously not in the mood for patrick's antics.

"where's a trick? the only one i see is you" patrick practically cooed at pete which in turn weirded pete out more so then the suggestive winking.

"very creative you called me a whore" pete said his annoyance clear in his voice.

"ah did i hurt your feelings? want me to kiss it better?" patrick asked as he appeared next to pete and leaned in towards him his lips twisted in a fishy face sort of way. pete leaped from the stump and patrick suddenly disappeared before reappearing on pete's back. due to the extra and unexpected weight pete and patrick toppled to the ground and pete found himself laying under patrick.

"that's odd i never pictured you being a bottom" patrick said as pete pushed him off of him. patrick made a pouty face and folded his arms.

"you suck" pete snapped back

"i could, do you want me to?" patrick giggled at pete.

"what are you doing here anyway?" pete asked choosing to ignore patrick's previous statement.

"i came to help you peter" patrick told him as he floated over to a nearby gangly tree. peter looked skeptical at patrick

"what kind of help?" pete asked expecting a typical dirty anwser from patrick.

"you want to go home don't you? well i know how you can" patrick said with a look of pride plastered on his round face.

"you do?!?" pete asked trying hard not to get his hopes up at the though of a way out of this wonderland.

patrick nodded "yep, all you have to do is-" he began as he raised his arm and hit the gangly tree with his fist "go through this door" patrick told him as a door large enough for pete to get through appeared in the trunk of the tree.

patrick beamed as pete stepped closer to the door. his steps slow and wary reflecting his experiences in wonderland. upon reaching the already open door pete leaned down and peered inside. all he saw was a sea of vast dark green foliage. pete looked up at patrick confused.

"it's a hedge maze" patrick told pete "all you have to do is go through here and you'll run into the queen of hearts. the queen could possibly help you" patrick said as he looked down at peter. pete nodded and again stared at the hedge maze through the door. against his better judgement he trusted the cheshire pat and climbed into the door, pete sat on the edge between the woods and the maze for a moment. he looked back at patrick who he found was already gone before he slid down into the door all the way.


chapter ten: god save the queen

pete had managed to stumble his way out of the hedge maze and found himself standing on the lawn of a fantastically huge courtyard. from the courtyard pete could see a large castle not too far away in the distance. pete didn't think anyone could miss the castle seeing how it was a garish bright pink color. pete wiped the bits of hedge that had stuck to him before walking through the large black wrought iron gate.

inside the gate was a path that lead up to the enterance of the garish castle. to the left and the right of the path were white rose bushes that lined the entire path. that wasn't all that was on the path though as pete soon noticed two men standing near one of the rose bushes doing something that pete couldn't see.

pete slowly walked up to the two men not quiet sure if he actually wanted to know what they were doing. finally pete's curiousity got the better of him and he attempted to get the men's attention.

"um excuse me?" pete said and instantly the two men jumped and turned quickly before falling on their knees and attempting to kiss pete's shoes while a very shocked pete attempted to back away.

"please forgive us dear queen!" the one man said as he grabbed pete's left foot.

"yes, queen forgive us we are eternally sorry!" the second man cried as he grabbed pete's right foot. pete now unable to keep his balance due to the men holding on to him fell to the ground and was now face level with the men, who of course he instantly recongized.

the two men who had been groveling at him were none other then Gabe Saporta who was the lead singer for the band cobra starship and Travis McCoy the lead singer for the band gym class heroes.

"you're not our queen" gabe said as he sat up on his haunces and stared at pete, travis followed suit as he ran a hand through his large curly afro.

"no, i'm not" pete said as he pushed himself up off the ground.

"then who are you?" travis asked as he too got up off the ground then proceeded to help up gabe.

"i'm pete" pete told the men who obviously didn't recongize him. the two men stood there for a moment saying nothing before seemed to remember the activity they had been doing before pete had scared them into groveling.

"well pete, very sorry we can't talk right now we're very busy" gabe rushed out as he turned around and grabbed something. travis nodded

"very, very busy" he said as he too turned his back on pete and mimiced gabe's actions. neither of the men seemed to mind pete being there and he was still curious to see what the men were doing so he walked around the rose bush so that he was once again facing the men. what he saw them doing made less sense then something his mind could have created.

pete saw gabe and travis bent over a small paint can filled with red paint. he watched them as they dipped brushes into the paint before pulling them out and painting over the white roses. travis and gabe stood there painting white roses red. pete watched amused for a few moments until again his curiousity got the better of him.

"why are you doing that?" he asked as he continued to watch as the crimson color overtook the pure white.

"we're painting them red because the queen doesn't like any roses but red roses" gabe said not bothering to look up.

"and we accidently planted white" travis chimed in as the two men worked furiously to change the roses.

"well i'm sure the queen would understand" pete said trying to calm the men down. gabe and travis laughed a nervous laugh

"understand? the queen would never understand! one look at these roses and it's off with our heads! right gabe?" travis said as he looked sadly from pete to the flowers to gabe.

"yes, off with our heads" gabe said too in a sad voice. pete couldn't believe that a ruler would kill her subjects over roses but with the looks on gabe and travis's faces he knew they were serious.

"i'm sorry we can't talk anymore we have to finish painting the roses before the queen returns" gabe said as he and travis resumed their work furiously painting white roses red.

"well i can help you paint them" pete said before he fully understood the words coming out of his mouth. how on earth did he go from trying to get home to helping people paint roses for a tempermental queen. travis and gabe didn't hesistate as they handed over a brush to pete and moved over so he could join them.

pete, travis, and gabe managed to get half the rose bushes done before suddenly the trio heard a loud trumpeting sound behind them. upon the sound travis and gabe once again froze, the fear intense in their eyes. pete as well as travis and gabe turned around as they saw someone walking down the path towards them. first it was two trumpeters who stood together before seperating one going to stand on the left and the other on the right.

after the trumpet players passed by another figure emerged from the shadows of the gate. pete's eyes widened as he saw just who it was. it was the prim proper red jacket wearing ryan ross. ryan walked away's down the path before stopping and unfurling a parchment he held in his hands. ryan cleared his throat and pete was tempted to run over there grab the younger boy and shake him until he gave him the anwsers he was so desperate for.

pete resisted the urge and listened as ryan spoke.

"ladies and gentlemen, may i present the queen of hearts" ryan said as he stepped aside while bowing. pete noticed that gabe and travis and even the trumpet players had bowed so he too lowered himself into a bow as he kept his eyes fixed eager to see the queen.

pete watched as a figure stepped out onto the path arms in the air and an obviously i'm better then you are attiduted spilling from the figure. pete looked up and gasped as he finally met the queen.

"brendon motherfucking urie" pete said in total surprise a little too loudly as travis and gabe shot him an are you completely insane? look. brendon himself looked in pete's direction and he was sure brendon would've succeeded in being more intimidating if he were not wearing the ridiculous red poofy dress with red hearts and black puffy sleeves.

brendon kept a sly grin on his face as he made his way over towards pete.


chapter eleven: off with his head

brendon was still looking over at pete and even slowly began to approach him his heels clicking against the stone. pete didn't know who was handing out jobs in wonderland but he found brendon being the queen so very amusing.

brendon was now standing before pete a sly smile playing on his heavily made up face.

"what's your name young man?" brendon asked in an oddly fake high pitched voice.

"peter your majesty" pete said he meant the words as an insult but he knew that queen brendon had taken them as a compliment.

"well peter, i've not seen you around before" brendon said as he put out his hand persumably for pete to take.

"well i'm uh, just visiting" pete said as he took brendon's hand and shook it. brendon suddenly pulled his hand away a deep scowl on his face. pete wasn't sure what he had said or done to incure brendon's wrath and he looked over to gabe and travis for any help. travis and gabe just stared at pete their eyes wide.

pete looked back at the now unhappy brendon who was positively seething with rage. while pete stood there with his i have no idea what i did but don't i look cute anyways? face.

"you are suppose to kiss a ladies hand!" brendon screamed at pete as he threw his arms up into the air. pete was oh so tempted to tell brendon that there was infact no lady present but he wasn't one to test someone who was clearly unstable's patience.

"uh sorry queen brendon" pete said as he once again took brendon's hand and placed the gentlest of kisses on it. brendon seemed more then pleased at pete's act and a warm smile broke onto his face.

"oh it's nothing to get upset over dear" brendon said as he laid a polished hand on pete's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. again pete was tempted to tell brendon that he was the one to get upset and not pete, but pete had already figured that this verison of brendon was bi-polar at best so he said nothing.

brendon then turned his attention to travis and gabe. he smiled warmly at them as well and glided over to the men. gabe and travis froze under brendon's gaze apparently still scared about the roses and pete now knew they had good reason to be. brendon luckily had yet to notice that some of the roses still remained white. brendon stood between travis and gabe his hands resting on each of their shoulders.

"these are my new roses?" brendon asked and travis and gabe nodded. brendon grinned and leaned forward to get a better look at the flowers. all seemed well until suddenly brendon stopped and pete could see the grip he had on the two men's shoulders tighten. a look of panic mixed with pain crossed travis and gabe's faces. in an instant brendon had thrown the two boys back onto the ground.

"WHITE ROSES!!!? YOU KNOW I ONLY LIKE RED!" brendon screamed at the two men on the ground.

"we're sorry queen! it was an accident!" gabe sat up and pleaded with brendon.

"we would never upset you queen!" travis cried out.

brendon still didn't seem pleased with their anwsers.

"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!" brendon screamed and instanly two guards rushed over and grabbed travis and gabe lifting them up off the ground.

"no queen! please! not that!" gabe and travis cried and pete knew in that moment that he wouldn't be able to stand by and let someone be killed. pete opened his mouth to object to the queen's actions but before he could speak a different rich voice filled the air.

"brendon dear, don't you think you're overreacting?" the voice said and pete turned around to face the gate where he saw william beckett standing. william too was dressed in an odd fashion one that pete quickly realized was meant to look like a king. complete with puffy pantaloons and white tights.

"good god" pete said as he shook his head. brendon looked towards william and in an instant was madly dashing towards him before throwing himself into william's open arms.

"oh willy! i'm so sorry!" brendon cried as he clutched onto william in classic overdramatic fashion. william said nothing but patted brendon on the head.

"there now your not going to kill travis and gabe are you?" william asked and brendon shook his head.

"heaven's no! i love them like sons!" he cried before rushing over to them and hugging them both tightly. pete didn't think he could take much more of this and he was tempted to smack the whole lot of them. in seconds brendon had cheered back up and turned to face peter.

"now that, that unpleasantness is out of the way we can have some fun!" he said and pete wasn't so sure he wanted to have fun with the queen.


chapter twelve: it's all a game of this and that

queen brendon had just annouced his wish to have fun and pete still standing slackjawed on the path wasn't sure he wanted to know what kind of 'fun' they had here in wonderland. his mind was already coming up with activities that he'd want no part of.

brendon turned and looked at pete a grin plastered on his oddly made up face. "you want to have fun don't you peter?" brendon asked and pete remained silent as he tried to think of an anwser that wouldn't get his head lopped off.

"uh what kind of fun?" pete asked weakly and a bit gaurded as he perpaired to be screamed at or possibly lunged on. instead he heard brendon giggle.

"oh it doesn't really matter but a good old fashioned game of croquet." brendon said as if there was nothing else he'd rather do in this entire world.

"croquet?" pete wasn't sure when the last time he saw someone playing croquet was and he defintly knew that of all the things he had learned in his life croquet wasn't one of them.

"yes, so you'll play?" brendon more stated then asked but was still awaiting an anwser anyway. pete looked at travis and gabe, the look on their faces the deciding factor to what he should do. gabe and travis seemed in support of the idea even going as far as to give him a thumbs up. pete smiled a bit as he looked back to brendon.

"alright yeah, i'll play." pete said and brendon clapped his hands together and bounced in joy. pete knew deep down that he shouldn't be playing croquet with a cross dresser when he should be trying to get home, but on the other hand patrick said that the queen could help and a happy croquet playing queen increased those chances of pete going home.

brendon turned away from pete and to travis and gabe. "boys, go and fetch the equipment" brendon commanded and in an instant the two men were running at high speed to get the croquet equipment.

they returned a mere two minutes later with what looked to pete to be brightly colored objects in their arms. travis stepped forward and handed the queen a bright pink mallet. brendon took the mallet without as much as a thank you. gabe then stepped to pete and handed him a red mallet pete took it and as he exaimed it he gasped and nearly dropped the mallet. the object he was holding most certainly wasn't a mallet but a flamingo!

pete realized he was now holding a small flamingo upside down by it's feet. pete saw that brendon too had a flamingo so he knew it wasn't some cruel joke. the flamingo blinked up at pete looking not hurt and more bored then anything else.

"come along peter" brendon said suddenly and for a moment pete thought his flamingo was talking to him. pete looked up to see brendon heading down the path towards a large grassy field. king william, travis, gabe, and ryan all following along. pete followed the group over to the large expanse of green field.

upon stopping on the field pete noticed travis drop something in front of the queen. it was small and round and also pink and pete knew or at least hoped it was a croquet ball. gabe made his way over to pete and he too dropped a round object on the ground in front of peter. pete's ball was orange and he also noticed that it was not in fact a ball but a round little hedgehog.

pete didn't know why these animals were being used as croquet equipment but he wasn't too keen on hurting the creatures. pete noted that they had a mallet and a ball but all they were missing were the goals and he half wondered what animal would wind up being a goal. pete looked up as he heard brendon clear his throat grabbing travis and gabe's attention.

travis and gabe instantly proceeded to go out into the field and pete wondered if they were fetching the goals. pete saw as the two men who now stood away from each other, bend and plant their hands firmly on the grass while their feet held them up and pete realized that travis and gabe weren't fetching the goals..they were the goals.

pete was once again left speechless not an entirely easy task to accomplish. this was by far the strangest and only game of croquet that pete had ever attempted to play. brendon once again cleared his throat and turned to look at all the people standing around watching which in reality was only king william and ryan ross.

"my loyal subjects, without further ado we will begin the game!" brendon annouced. and sure enough the game was off. pete let brendon go first so he could see how to properly play the game and he was sure that brendon would have a fit if he didn't. brendon lined up and hit his hedgehog ball. the hedgehog rolled a few feet then stopped a good distance away from travis the makeshift goal. pete was about to take his turn when suddenly he noticed the hedgehog get up and run straight through travis earning the queen a goal.

pete was surprised and half tempted to call that foul play but didn't, thinking it was a simple mistake. he saw brendon turn around a smug grin on his face. pete was skeptical but stood forward to take his turn. he hit his own hedgehog who at first seemed to be going at a good speed and heading for travis as well until pete saw his hedgehig stop completely then turn and run in the other direction stopping a good distance away from either of the goals.

it didn't take pete long to realize that the queen was cheating at the croquet match. as he fully continued doing so every turn. these acts involved travis or gabe shuffling on all fours to meet the queens ball, the queen yelling some random word loudly just as pete was going to swing, and the same hedgehog balls going further and stopping shorter then necessary.

pete was growing tired of the one sided game and was just hoping it would end quickly. it was brendon's turn and pete was zoning out as he leaned on his mallet. suddenly he felt warm hands cover his eyes and a soft voice whisper in his ear.

"did ya miss me?" the soft male voice asked and pete quickly slipped out of the hands and turned to see who was talking to him. pete sighed as he looked at the grinning patrick.

"patrick? what the hell are you doing here?" pete asked slightly surprised to see his friend again.

"didn't i say i would help you get home and if i did we'd make out?" patrick said, the sly grin on his face spreading.

pete sighed "no, patrick i never said i'd make out with you"

"but you want to right?" patrick asked as if he already knew the anwser

pete sighed and gave patrick no anwser. "you said the queen could help me patrick but so far all he's done is made me play croquet and he's cheating!" pete complained to patrick

"well i can fix that my love" patrick said as he strode past pete his fingers dancing under pete's chin. patrick proceeded to walk over towards the queen and pete wondered why ryan nor the king was attempting to stop him.

patrick had made it to the queen and still no one said anything and pete wondered if maybe only he could see the cheshire pat. pete watched as patrick bent down and took hold of the end of brendon's mallet.

"patrick no!" pete was whispering and this whispering earned an odd stare from brendon who turned to look back at pete.

"did you say something peter?" brendon asked and pete shook his head as he watched patrick moving around brendon's legs. brendon must've noticed pete staring as he grinned at pete and gave him a suggestive wink. pete grimaced when brendon turned around and he also noticed that patrick was again standing by his side.

"what'd you do patrick?" pete asked as he pulled patrick's roaming hands off of him. patrick giggled and pointed to the bottom of brendon's dress. pete noticed that the beak of the flamingo mallet that brendon was holding was attached to the back of the dress meaning that when brendon swung his mallet....pete shuddered at the rest of the thought and before he could stop it he noticed that brendon was taking his swing.

pete watched helplessly as brendon made a full swing and sure enough the force and the attached beak made him flip in air and land on the ground with his dress up over his head. his white puffy undergarments visible for all to see. pete resisted every urge in his body that found the scene before him comical and as the red faced and clearly pissed off queen brendon stood he looked right at pete with his somewhat twisted grin and yelled as loud as he could

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!!!!!!!"

"oh crap" was all pete muttered.


chapter thirteen: the trial of the century

pete stood frozen in the field, his croquet mallet in hand. brendon had just declared pete to death due to a stunt that patrick or the cheshire pat as he perfered to be called, had caused. brendon stood now hands clenched and facing peter his chest heaving and his face red from embaressment and anger.

travis and gabe looked shocked and frozen but the two men remained in the goal position. william looked amused and ryan looked mortified as if the incident had happened to him. as everyone stood there pete tried his best to think of anything to say to get out of this. his whole life was convincing people with his words and now would be the time that he drew a blank?

"GAURDS SEIZE THIS MAN!" brendon yelled and pete watched as two men came running towards him a sort of empty anger in their eyes. as the men grabbed peter by his arms and perpaired to drag him away to wherever they do the chopping of the heads. pete made his plea.

"wait, your majesty! please i didn't do anything!" pete begged and he winced at how pathetic the words sounded to himself. brendon breathed a little harder but raised his hand signalling the gaurds to stop. they did as they were told and pete was set back both feet on the ground. brendon walked over to pete in tight strodes. his anger clear in each movement.

"do you take me for an idiot?" brendon asked and pete knew better then to give an anwser. "i know it was you! there could be no other! you dare embaress me infront of my subjects then take no responsiblity?!" brendon screamed and seethed at pete. while pete was at a loss for words he doubted that brendon would believe that a blonde boy that only he could see caused the incident but what else did he have?

before pete could give brendon his excuse brendon ordered him to be taken away again and once again he was promptly being dragged away. pete was stll crying out his innocense when king william spoke.

"bren-bren, i think the young man deserves a trial." william said as he stepped down from the throne he had been sitting on. william placed a hand on brendon's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"oh willy you're right!" brendon cried as he turned and threw himself in williams arms once again in an overdramatic fashion. "i should give the poor boy a chance to explain himself." brendon cried as he wrapped arms around william. pete had never been more thankful for william beckett and he knew if he ever got home he was going to give william the biggest hug and probably give brendon a slap and maybe patrick while he was at it.

pete let out a great sigh of releif and was thankful that he wasn't going to be killed by a crossdressing brendon urie. brendon turned his hands on his hips.

"take him to the court!" he said and pete was dragged off to the royal court. the court was outside and a little ways away from the field where the croquet match had taken place. the court was close to the hedge maze where pete had entered from the door in the tree. there was a large cage pressed against the hedges and pete had a feeling that was where he was going. there was also a large brown podium taller then any normal podium, along with a slightly smaller podium attached to the right side of the taller one.

as pete had guessed he was quickly shoved into the cage and closed up inside. while the queen took the large podium proclaiming himself judge. william, ryan, travis, and gabe took seats in the small brown chairs set in rows along the grassy ground. pete wasn't sure how this trial was going to turn out but with the brendon as the judge things weren't looking promising.

"we will now begin the trial!" brendon shouted and pete felt his cage shake he turned quickly and grabbed hold of the thin bars to keep his balance. pete saw that two men were pulling a rope that was attached to the cage and with each pull his cage was pulled higher and higher into the air.

"don't i get to say what happened?" pete asked and brendon ignored him.

"we will now call the first witness!" ryan said as he stood and brendon nodded. "will spencer smith please step up to the stand!" ryan yelled and pete had a confused look on his face. how was spencer supposed to come? he wasn't involved nor was he even in the courtyard. pete was proven wrong once again by the logic of wonderland. as in that moment spencer came hurtling out of no where and climbed on to the witness stand.

"hello, spencer." ryan said as he stood infront of spencer.

"hi!" spencer said all too cheerfully.

"do you know the man in the cage spencer?" ryan asked as he began to pace back and forth. spencer looked to the cage where ryan was pointing and spotted pete who was still clutching on to the bars of the cage.

spencer nodded, his face taking on a dark look. "i most certainly do! he came to jon and my tea party and tried to steal our cake and tea!" spencer said in his overdramatic flair, the back of his hand pressed to his forehead as if he was going to faint.

pete rolled his eyes and hoped that brendon wouldn't buy the overdramatics. pete looked at brendon who sat sniffling back tears and staring at spencer with sympathy.

"that must've been horrible!" brendon cooed to spencer and spencer looked back at brendon eyes wide and glistening.

"it was! oh, it was!" spencer said earnestly.

pete would've laughed if his fate didn't rest on this. ryan seemed to have enough of spencer's claims and dismissed him from the witness stand. ryan then called jon up to the stand and as quickly as spencer had showed up jon had. jon sat on the stand. ryan again stood infront of the witness stand.

"hello, jon."

"hi ryan, how's your crotch?" jon asked as he pointed to ryan's crotch. pete thought that was awfully forward until he remembered back at the tea party when spencer and jon had scaulded ryan's crotch with hot tea. ryan too looked taken aback by jon's question but he quickly recovered and cleared his throat.

"fine now, thanks for asking." ryan said as he was blushing and eager to get on with the trial. "now spencer mentioned that the man known as peter, was at your tea party. what was he doing there?" ryan asked.

"why we were all celebrating our unbirthdays of course!" jon proclaimed as if it were the most common of knowledge.

"what exactly is an unbirthday?" brendon interrupted to ask. jon turned to look at him.

"why it's any day that's not your birthday." jon told brendon. a sudden wild grin spread across jon's face and pete recongized it as the look of mischeif. "dearest queen, it is your unbirthday too!" jon proclaimed. brendon unable to resist anything that could mean a celebration in his honor nodded in agreement.

"i suppose you're right it is my unbirthday!" brendon said happily.

"then we surely must celebrate!" jon cried as he stood and took brendon's hands. jon's enthusiams seemed to leak into brendon as he too agreed that his unbirthday should be celebrated by all. "let us sing!" jon cried as he turned to look at the small audience who looked less then thrilled to sing except for spencer who was bouncing around the courtyard.

"for he's a jolly good fellow-" jon began and in a matter of seconds the small group of people including the two guards who were holding up pete's cage had begun to sing to the queen. everyone except for pete. and pete was only half surprised to learn that everyone here in wonderland despite being total opposites of their real selves could still sing well.

pete was thinking of a way out of the cage when he noticed a blur of strawberry blonde flash by him. pete turned quickly and saw to his surprise patrick standing behind the two guards who were holding up the cage. pete was about to call out to patrick when patrick put a finger to his lips as if saying keep quiet.

pete wasn't sure what patrick was going to do. pete again felt his cage shake rough enough to knock pete down. as peter sat on the floor of the cage he noticed two large pieces of mushrooms sitting at his feet. pete suddenly remembered that he had the mushroom pieces all along. without thinking pete shoved both pieces of the mushroom into his mouth.

pete waited and in a mere half a second he felt his body growing larger. pete grew so large that he broke the cage and was now free. of course the celebration was cut short as everyone noticed the now gigantic pete. pete took this opportunity to deliver some karmatic revenge on brendon. he stepped over to the podium, each step causing the ground to shake under him. pete stood over the podium and pointed a finger at brendon.

"please don't hurt me!" brendon cowered in his podium.

"i'm not going to hurt you. because i'm not cruel like you." pete said. "but i will hurt you if you don't start treating your subjects better. travis and gabe deserve better then this!" pete yelled at the queen.

"yes, yes, whatever you say i will do." brendon said as he still crouched in the corner afraid of what the giant pete would do.

"and another thing-" pete began but before he could get his sentence out he felt himself shrinking and he cursed his big mouth and bad timing. pete had shrunken back down to the small size and now looked around as the queen stood angry on his podium. brendon took a deep breath and pete could already guess what he was going to say.

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" he screamed and pete gulped as the two guards who had once held up his cage were now approaching him with sharp axes in hand.

"come along peter, it's time to go." patrick who had suddenly appeared at pete's side said as he offered pete his hand. without a second thought pete took patrick's hand and he pulled him off the ground. "i think you should run now peter." patrick said, pete nodded and took off at full speed in any direction that took him the farthest away from the hellish queen.

brendon not one to let anyone who wronged him escape screamed at his guards. "after him!". pete glanced back as he ran to see queen brendon, william, ryan, spencer, and jon all chasing him along with a whole set of guards. even travis and gabe who pete had just moments ago defended. pete was now in a race for his life and he prayed that he could win.

chapter fourteen: there's no place like home

pete was now running down the cobblestone path that led to the hedgemaze. instead of having to go through the hedgemaze patrick who had once again showed up next to pete pulled him quickly to the right revealing a small path that pete hadn't noticed before.

pete raced down the path only looking back to see how far away his chasers were. he was tearing through the woods as fast as he could manage. his feet tripping and stumbling over garnled roots that grew up out of the trail. pete heard the sounds of the people behind him grow larger and he saw people that he met from wonderland were now chasing him.

this group included the odd animals that wanted to race pete, gerard and mikey way also know as tweedlegee and tweedleM. pete noticed that gerard was running with mikey on his back, and both were screaming things at pete probably fall out boy lyrics. also chasing pete was to his surprise joe the 'caterpillar' who was running with his bong in hand, and andy the master of the flowers along with his flower army. it seemed that everyone pete had met in wonderland was now chasing him...everyone except patrick.

patrick suddenly appeared at pete's side as if he was summoned by pete's thoughts. patrick wasn't running but floating along side pete. pete panting and sweating and now regretting his choice of wearing his trademark hoodie, looked to patrick hoping he would help him somehow. patrick did nothing but continued floating and staring at pete.

"your butt looks nice when you run." patrick stated out of the blue. pete sighed thinking that maybe he perferred the silence.

"no-now's not really the time trick." pete stammed as he ran for his life. patrick continued to float along staring and in a flash he was running beside pete, patrick gave a grin as another flash happened and pete found himself being carried by patrick, in classic bride over the threshold fashion.

"what the hell?" pete asked as he noticed his arms wrapped around patrick's neck. patrick smiled at pete.

"i am saving you." patrick said as he continued running and pete peered over his shoulder at the crowd still chasing them.

"uh not that i don't appreciate the help trick, cause i do but i'm not a damsel in distress!" pete said.

"really cause that's all you've been since you got here." patrick said and pete looked down at himself to notice that he was now wearing a frilly pink dress and matching long triangular hat.

"oh what the crap?!" pete cried as he attempted to pull off the pink dress. "i'm not the cross dresser here! brendon is!" pete yelled.

"i heard that!" he heard queen brendon call back. pete still struggled with his horrendious dress and gave up minutes later unable to take off the dress in his current position.

"patrick get this thing off me!" pete begged.

"now look pete you just begged me to take your clothes off. and you say i'm the one hitting on you." patrick said with his permagrin. pete sighed and patrick snapped his fingers and instanly the dress was gone. patrick rounded a corner and pete saw them approaching what looked like a large door set out in the woods. as the duo grew closer pete realized what it was. it was the insulting doorknob from the beginning of his adventure.

they grew closer and patrick slowed down and let pete fall out of his arms and to the ground. pete scrambled back up and turned to the door, he grabbed the knob and attempted to open it but as he expected the door was locked. instantly the face of the doorknob materialized beneath his hand.

"geet yo haand ooof my face!" the doorknob cried muffled by pete's hand. pete quickly pulled his hand away as if afraid that the doorknob might bite him.

"listen doorknob! i don't like you and you don't like me but you gotta let me through!" pete pleaded.

the doorknob yawned as if he hadn't heard the urgency in pete's voice. "and why is that?" it asked.

"there's a mob of people chasing me!" pete insisted. pete turned and saw no one and he wondered how far away they were?

"i don't see anyone." the doorknob said

"they'll be here! just let me in before they get here!" pete cried as he went to the door and again pulled the doorknob. the door rattled but didn't open. pete bent down and peered into the keyhole of the doorknob. through the key hole pete could shockingly see himself!

he was laying in a green field surrounded by flowers and trees and a sleeping hemingway at his side. pete couldnt understand how he was on both sides of the door but he knew he was still in danger.

pete turned around to face patrick who looked calm and collected as ever. "can you help me trick?" pete asked and he realized how pathetic he sounded. patrick nodded.

"here." he said as he handed pete something. pete took it and realized that it was a simple playing card. "the ace of spades." patrick told pete as he watched pete survey the card.

"uh i don't get how this is suppose to help me." pete asked as he turned the card over in his hands.

"i wrote my number and address on there incase you wanna hook up later." patrick told him a sly smile playing on his face. pete sighed and noticed behind patrick that the group had caught up and were quickly approaching. pete turned to the door and grabbed it shaking it trying to force it open.

pete shook and shook but nothing happened and he could hear the mob growing closer and closer and he glanced back to see brendon a mere inch from his back and just when pete thought he was going to be caught, suddenly it was all gone. everything was gone and pete was falling through the darkness and back to his own body.

"pete? peter? pete. pete WAKE UP!" pete heard a voice yell too close to his ear. pete groggily opened his eyes which felt oddly heavy and looked around him. pete was not lying in a field like he had seen through the keyhole but he was on the band's tour bus.

andy stood beside him and pete guessed that it was he who had awaken him. pete lifted his head off his arms that rested on the small booth like table. joe sat on the other side of the table his back against the wall. the tv was on and the credits were rolling on some movie they had been watching. patrick sat on the edge of his bunk bed peering out at the others with a grin oddly reminiscent of the chesire pat.

"you ok pete?" andy asked at the odd look on pete's face. it took pete a moment to respond, he was making certain that this wasn't a trick.

"yeah, i-i think so. what movie were you watching?" pete asked, he wasn't sure why he asked but he felt as if he needed to.

"uh joe was watching alice in wonderland why?" patrick asked as he came up and stood by andy. pete's eyes widened "was it all just a dream?" pete thought.

"i-i had a weird dream, i dreamt i was in alice and wonderland." pete told his bandmates. they gave him the kind of look he expected the pete forgot to take his med's again look.

"a dream?" patrick asked. pete nodded

"yeah, and you were there, and you, and you." pete said as he pointed to each of his bandmates.

"uh pete that's the wizard of oz not alice in wonderland." patrick said and andy and joe laughed.

"yeah but you guys really were there! andy you were like god of the flowers! and joe you were a pot smoking caterpillar with a bad temper, and patrick you..you were the cheshire pat and you kept hitting on me." pete watched his friends reactions as he told them the roles they played in his dream.

his friends laughed and wanted to hear more of his dream and pete told them. he figured he fell asleep and the movie entered his mind as joe watched it. yeah that had to be it. the only thing that freaked out pete was how real the dream felt. pete went to the bathroom to change his pants when something fell out of his pocket. pete bent down to pick up the fallen object and gasped when he picked up the ace of spades with a number and an address written on it.

"maybe it wasn't a dream." pete said and he smiled to himself as he tucked the card away.
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