Wednesday, December 8, 2004

   Drabblefic! RK-02 stuffs...
... Trust me, this is SANE for that house...



"I dread to ask," Kenshin Himura said, slowing to a stop by the base of the staircase and glancing up. "But... what on EARTH are you doing up there?"

"Um..." Soujiro Simons was clinging to the ceiling. How, Kenshin had no idea and honestly didn't want to know. She glanced around once, then waved one hand at Kenshin vaguely. "Sleep!"

Kenshin blinked. "...oro?"

Soujiro wasn't looking at him. "Damn! It seems that he is a liability. He must be on to our plans!"

Kenshin stared at the dark-haired girl, feeling rather like a deer caught in some headlights. "What... plans?"

Instead of answering, Soujiro released her death grip on the ceiling and dropped with an inarticulate scream towards Kenshin. Kenshin dropped his books in surprise. "What the HELL? SOUJIRO!"

Kennichi stuck his head through the doorway from the dining room into the main hall. "Did I just hear Soujiro give off a battle cry?" he asked, before spotting Soujiro on all fours, on the ground. "What are you DOING?"

Soujiro glanced over at him wildly, but Kennichi didn't flinch. He glanced up at Kenshin, who had one foot on the doorknob to the front door and the other braced on the doorframe. "Are you all right?"

The dark-haired girl lunged at Kennichi, who was more than used to the Tenken on a sugar high. She went low, so he jumped and she sailed under him, rolled, and then scrabbled off ... still on all fours. Kennichi landed lightly, glancing over his shoulder in amusement. "What was that all about?"

"I have NO idea," Kenshin said dryly, still perched on the door. Then his eyes got really wide. "Oh, n-"

The doorknob turned as Kat and Karen pushed the door open from the other side. Kennichi watched, amused, as Kenshin lost his balance, fell, and was then shoved rudely aside by the heavy door being pushed open.

"I keep telling you, you need to get that door fixed," Kat was saying, stomping snow off of her boots on the mat. Karen had already stepped through the threshold in her striped stockings.

"That wasn't the door," Kennichi informed them, still leaning in the doorway to the dining room. "That was Kenshin."

"What?" Karen looked confused as Kat hopped through the door behind her, and Kennichi pointed.

"Oro..." Kenshin groaned, lying in a heap behind the door.

"Why's Kenshin behind the door?" Kat asked, not really looking but hanging her coat in the hall closet.

"Soujiro's gone stir-crazy again," Kennichi said matter-of-factly.

"Oh," Karen said.

"That sounds about right," Kat snorted. "Seen Sanji about?"

"Not since yesterday," Kennichi called as Kat disappeared up the steps. "And... she's gone. Why does she do that?"

"Do what?" Karen closed the closet door and picked up the bag she had put on the floor.

"That walking away while someone is answering you thing," Kennichi said, as Karen walked past him into the kitchen. "That!" He gestured after her. "Oi!"

Kenshin sat up, rubbing his head and checking for any permanant damage. "Ow," he groaned.

"Serves you right for standing on the door, 'niisan," Kennichi said.

"Well, I really wasn't too keen on having a hundred and thirty five pounds of Tenken land on my skull," Kenshin grumbled as he stood.

"ONE HUNDRED FIFTEEN!" Soujiro shriekd from somewhere within the hosue.

Both Kennichi and Kenshin winced. "Wow," Kennichi said, sticking a finger in his ear and wiggling it. "How does she do that?"

"Don't wanna know," Kenshin said matter-of-factly, picking up his scattered books. "Hey, *you* haven't seen my calculus book, have you?"

"Why do you need your calculus book anyway, it's winter break," Kennichi said, turning as Kenshin went past him and into the dining room. Kenshin dumped his stack of books on the corner of the dining room table before glancing around and making a disgusted sound.

"I cleaned this place out last weekend," Kenshin grumbled, starting to pile newspapers on the dining room table. "What do I have to do to you people to get you to pick up after yourselves?"

"Calculus book," Kennichi reminded him.

"I'm behind," Kenshin retorted smartly. "And, unlike the rest of you, I'd like to catch up. This stuff is more than a little interesting." As he spoke, he uncovered week-old dinner plates. "AUGH! Look at this! They're FUZZY!"

"Hey, I wondered what smelled funny in here," Kennichi said, wandering over. Kenshin shoved the dishes into his arms. "Hey, ew!"

"Take those. Clean them, dispose of them, I don't care, get them OUT OF HERE!"

Soujiro came tearing through the dining room, leapt up on the table and was up on the chandiler before Kenshin or Kennichi could move. "Neither of you see me," she hissed without looking at them.

Kenshin and Kennichi stared at each other, then shrugged. Ever as they did that, they could hear a clatter from the upstairs. "SIMONS!"

"What did you do to Yuukito?" Kenshin asked.

Soujiro began humming.

"What are you do-"

"I'm being the chandiler. If you're not going to help me hide, go away!"

Kenshin and Kennichi exchanged looks again, before Kenshin picked up the stack of newspapers and headed for the kitchen. Kennichi followed him. "Tell me," Kenshin asked slowly as they walked into the kitchen. "Am I going insane, or is this house going more insane?"

"I think Soujiro is trying to drive us ALL insane," Kennichi said.

"Sounds about right," Kenshin agreed, putting the newspapers on the island in the kitchen. Aya sat there, next to his empty food and water bowls, looking rather unhappy.

"Yo, fuzzbucket," Kennichi said, rubbing the cat on the head as he passed.

Aya's ears went back, and he growled at Kennichi.

Kenshin stopped and raised an eyebrow at the cat. They'd all heard the cat in a nasty mood before, but he rarely actually growled at anyone other than Soujiro. "Has anyone fed the cat recently?" He shouted the question, and got negative answers from anyone in earshot.

Karen was at the fridge, cleaning out what she dared to. "No, he was cleaning out the mice, remember?" She frowned at a carton, then tossed it into the garbage can she had dragged over.

"Maybe we should feed him," Kenshin suggested, as the cat eyed him evilly.

From the dinning room came a scream, a crash, several clatters and a thud, followed by silence. Kenshin, Kennichi and Karen all swivelled towards the dining room but none actually moved to check out the source of the noise.

As Kennichi opened his mouth to say something, Soujiro shot through the door wordlessly, dashed through the kitchen and was out the side door in a flash. The screen door and heavier winter door both slammed behind her. As the second door slammed, Yuukito Shirow stomped through from the dining room, wearing only the pants he slept in and a foul expression. His usually cream-colored hair was now an electric blue.

Everyone watched wordlessly as he stomped through the two doors and out into the snow, barefoot.

"I say we lock all the doors and windows," Kennichi said, quite seriously. "I mean, now's our chance. A nice, quiet evening--"

"Until either of them break a window, or door, or both, trying to get back in," Karen said, already back to cleaning out the fridge. "We tried that last winter, remember?"

"Oh. Yeah." Kennichi tossed the plates in the sink and turned the water on them. The fuzz just kinda laughed at him, so he poured half a bottle of soap on them and left them to soak. "At least it's never boring around here," he said.

"Ain't that the truth," Kenshin grunted, finally gathering the rest of the newspaper up in the kitchen. He carried it to the back door and opened it, leaning out onto the small porch and dropping the week's worth of papers into the recycle bin. He glanced up in time to see Soujiro sprint across the snow, a dark blur followed closely by Yuukito with a spear.

Kenshin closed the door and locked it behind him. "Since when has Yuukito had a spear?"

"Don't know, don't wanna know." Kennichi was putting the scoop to the cat food back under the kitchen sink, and Aya now had his head happily in the bowl of cat food. "Hey, Karen. Guess who I saw the other day?"

"God only knows," Karen muttered.

"Genn."

"Oh, my god." She closed the refridgerator door. "Please tell me he didn't see you."

"He didn't." Kennichi grinned at the confused expression Kenshin had. "An old friend," he explained.

"Oh, god, please don't bring him up, he'll show up, it's been a GOOD YEAR SO FAR," Karen was already out of the kitchen and halfway up the stairs. She turned around and came back, sticking her head through the door. "If you've jinxed us and that maniac shows up on my doorstep, so help me God, I'll kill you."

Kenshin watched, half amused, as Karen disappeared again before turning his attention back to Kennichi.

"Genn?"

Kennichi waved a hand. "I don't remember what his real name is, but he had this elaborate made-up Japanese name. He's the son of the people who ran the OTHER kendo dojo in Centerville who apparently thought Karen was destined to be his. He liked to randomly attack me, I couldn't get it through his thick skull that it was a bad idea, et cetera. He vanished a little before you came on the scene, which is a pity because we could have confused him all to hell. I saw him at the mall the other day." Kennichi had comandeered an apple and was already munching on it.

"Well, that sounds..." Kenshin stared at the cat for a moment. "...really stupid."

"Yeah. Nothing really interesting happened around here before Soujiro and the Juppongatana showed up." Kennichi smirked, amused. He turned about and headed for the door to the basement. "Hey, you haven't seen Sanji around at all today, have you?"

"Kat already asked you that, you said you hadn't seen him since yesterday."

"I didn't ask if *I'd* seen him, have you seen him since yesterday?" Kennichi paused on the top of the steps, a frown crossing over his face. "Have YOU seen him?"

Kenshin shook his head. "No, why?"

Kennichi frowned. "He said he was going out with some old Blu Pistols buds... that probably means poker."

"He went out gambling?" Kenshin shook his head, torn between upset and amused. "Are you sure he's not possessed by Sano's ghost?"

Kennichi blinked. "Who?"

Kenshin rolled his eyes. "Remember that picture Kat gave us all a heart attack over? The tall guy who looked like he thought the camera was going to eat him?"

"OH! The one who looks like Sanji!"

Kenshin rubbed the spot between both of his eyes. "You've got a mind like a steel trap, 'Nichi," he muttered. "Did he say if he was coming home last night?"

"Dun't know. But if we don't see him soon, I think we should maybe send Catie and Soujiro after him. They can strike fear in the hearts of... well... anyone."

"Have YOU seen Catie recently?" Kenshin walked to the top of the steps as Kennichi had already started down them.

"No, thank God, though I assume she's party to Soujiro's bizarre... well, whatever the hell Soujiro is doing at the moment. What IS she doing?"

Kenshin walked over to the window and glanced out it. "Well, she's in a tree, and Yuukito can't reach her although he's waving the spear around a lot. Oh, wait. She's taking off her top." He shut the curtains. "And, that's enough of that."

"Thank GOD our closest neighbors are a half-mile away," Kennichi muttered, rooting around in the drink 'fridge. There was a large clatter behind him, and Kennichi glanced over his shoulder, grabbing a can of cola and shutting the door to the fridge. Catie sat in the middle of the den, looking dazed. He glanced around. She hadn't been there when he came downstairs.

"Wow, total phase-shift," Catie said, grabbing both sides of her head and wince. "Vomit-inducing, even."

"Nice. Don't vomit on me, or the carpet, please," Kennichi said, going back up the stairs. "Catie's downstairs," he reported.

Kenshin glanced up from the dishes. "Really? Where's she been?"

"I didn't ask, but she was talking about vomiting so I'm not going to bother," Kennichi said, popping the tab on his drink.

"Sounds reasonable," Kenshin said. "I think Soujiro is naked."

"Oh, god, I don't want to know." Kennichi said.

"I locked the back door," Kenshin contiuned.

"Good plan."

"Go lock the front door."

"No, you do it. I don't want it on my head if they break it down again."

Kenshin frowned at him. "I'll take responsibility for the back door if you cover the front."

"Hell no! The back door is like a hundred bucks cheaper than the front door!"

As they spoke, the front door slammed, and there was a thud. Kenshin looked at Kennichi and turned off the water. "Fifteen says it's Sanji."

"I learned a long time ago not to take bets from you," Kennichi grunted. "How about ten says he's hung over?"

"Twenty says hung over, beaten up and broke."

"Done."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Yeah, that's my randomness for you. You can find at least four of those lunatics in this picture. And yes, that is the "real" Kenshin in the story. His body isn't his original, natural, he's currently inhabiting a body cloned from the DNA of his direct descendant Kennichi. Yuukito was a "trial" clone and is, as such, imperfect. (Hence the white hair, he has no pigment in his hair but he's not a true albino.) He is, however, batshit insane. As is Soujiro, but really, Soujiro's got no excuse.

Comments (1)