Thursday, April 14, 2005

Gaah. I'm glad I got this game at the end of the semester, because otherwise... yowza. It's completely consumed my braaaaaain. I had to leave the room (and leave chuusa to playing it) so I could get work done on my paper that is now due in... *looks at the clock* sixteen hours! Woo! Go me, I put things off to the last possible minute!

Good thing that puts me "in the zone" for writing papers. Hoohah!

Only bad thing is now is the best possible time for my art. When I'm pressured to do something else, I want to draw like nobody's business. I shall have to deal with this when I break from paper-writing. >.>

Schindler's List is one of the most depressing films ever. But it is a glorious masterpiece and a great movie about the human condition. I'd never seen it before, we watched it for my Cinema History class this week, and finished it today. The first part that we watched that dealt with so many atrocities... people around me were actually crying. I don't cry. No, I take that back, I do cry, but the things portrayed that made the people cry are what make me angry. I came out of that film so pissed at the human race it isn't even funny. I wanted to punch things. Grief and rage are more often than not the same emotion for me... when I can see the suffering personified and there's nothing in my power that I can do to fix it I get so angry I can hardly see straight. Angry at the cause of the suffering. Angry at myself for not being able to do anything. It's irrational and odd, but it's the way I'm wired.

I came back from class on Tuesday, stormed into the room, punched the wall, announced that humanity was a race of fonging pigs, and flopped onto my bed and curled up with The Mirror of Alchemy.

Ten minutes later, I'm still stewing somewhat, and I glance up to see taisa still staring at me. "What?" I snapped, quite irritated at the world.

"You really are Ed," she said, shaking her head and turning back to her computer.

Indignant, I flailed for a second before grabbing a shoe to fling at her. Then I realized I was threatening taisa and that meant certain death and destruction, so I went back to my book. >.<

Between taisa and chuusa, I really am gonna have complexes soon. ((I swear, if the next time I clap for any reason and chuusa looks astonished and says "Nothing happened!" I'm gonna do more than punch her in the head. -_-))

Hrm. I love my little blog-thing, (I adore those Indiana-Jones-ish Ed pictures), but sometimes I get too verbose for its size. Hm. Maybe I can set up my page better...

Okay, that's a project for later. *settles in to write* Wish me luck!

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