Wednesday, March 29, 2006

   It's been a long time...:)
Well, I haven't posted for ages. And now I feel like I should. Well, to be honest there was so many things going on lately, I didn't know what to write...For example, the exams which I passed:)then new thingies to study, nobody tells you it never ends!:( Then this Tolkien board I singed in to and got obsessed with, and these two guys I can't decide which one I like better, then my depressed friend and finally my obsessive-compulsive-paranoid parents.:O Wow, it's been a while since I wrote, jeeze! Anyways, I got like tons of anime which I haven't had time to watch since I've gotta study this darn Roman law including all the latin proverbs and actions:(((( Not to even mention National history and Economy:(((((((((((But, there's always but, I've noticed a lot of changes here like there's no direct link to your own work in the bottom of your page, no top lists in walls and greets...actually that's it:) Well, nice to drop by here every once in a while when I get a chance to breathe a bit:) LUV YA ALL:)))))*<>*

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Wednesday, January 4, 2006

   whipeeeeee

What's your symbol?
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What Drug Are You?
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What do you breathe?
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What Alcoholic Beverage Are You? ~Extensive~
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HEH, I'M NOT IRISH:O


What unique goddess are you?(lovely pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

src="http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y291/haw_ti/etc/him1.jpg"
alt="Image hosted by
Photobucket.com">
face="Courier New">color="#330033">
You are
"Wings of a Butterfly" by
HIM.
You're very creative and an independent
thinker.
You might even believe in the
supernatural and unexplainable things in the
world.
Some people may seem you as a little
off, but your creativity is the most beautiful
tool you've got, so you should use
it.

Heaven ablaze in our eyes
We're
standing still in time
The blood on our
hands is the wine
We offer as
sacrifice

Come on, and show them your
love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For
your soul, my love
Rip out the wings of a
butterfly
For your soul

This endless
mercy mile
We're crawling side by
side
With hell freezing over in our
eyes
Gods kneel before our crime

Come
on, and show them your love
Rip out the
wings of a butterfly
For your soul, my
love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For
your soul

Come on lets show, them your
love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For
your soul, my love
Rip out the wings of a
butterfly
For your soul
(Rip out the
wings of a butterfly)
Dont let go
(Rip
out the wings of a butterfly)
For your
soul

Come on, and show them your
love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For
your soul, my love
Rip out the wings of a
butterfly
For your soul

Come on, and
show them your love
Rip out the wings of a
butterfly
For your soul, my love
Rip out
the wings of a butterfly
For your
soul
(Rip out the wings of a
butterfly)
Dont let go
(Rip out the wings
of a butterfly)

For your soul


What Song Lyrics Are You?
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What is your mental age?(WITH ANIME PICS)
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Saturday, December 24, 2005

MERRY CHRISTMASSSS EVERYONE!
What to say, eat cookies, cake, whatever, be happy, celebrate, have a happy Christmas!!!

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

   Story
I know it's Christmas time and nobody wants to read depressive stuff, but I wrote this story about three weeks ago and decided to put it here, don't know why...hope you like it...
********************* Suicide note

Dear whoever finds this or cares enough to read it,
If I had just one wish, I’d wish I wasn’t me. You wouldn’t want to be me. Trust me.
People are so perfect…but not me. Beats that old one about being like the ones you hang out with. I think I’m just so darn stubborn about some things with my fixed ideas about everything when, to be honest, I’ve got no clue where I’m headed.
To nothingness?
I want to kill myself. That will be messy. So do not enter the bathroom if you’ve got a sensitive stomach.
But what if I fail? It would be a shame to try and fail and be labelled incompetent above all…That’s my greatest fear.
Failure.
I’m writing this just in case you find me half-dead or something, do not perform CPR! If I’m still breathing, be nice and shoot me or strangle me or whatever me to cease my existence.
With greatest faith in your ability to finish me off,

Moira.
I always wanted to beat myself. Never knew when that race begun, but I knew it would never stop, at least, not until I die. As if I was running towards the self destruction with anticipation of complete oblivion. To reach the end or the burn along the way. Sometimes my mind worked so fast I thought my head was going to explode and my brain would burst into tiny particles of flesh which would attach to the whiteness of the walls so tight no one would ever tear them apart again. Blood. Blood makes so much mess.
All my life I lived to be something else, someone else. No life, no desire, no true intention. Only my Shell was my shield. And nobody could go inside. Sorry.
Everyone has a Shell. Some Shells are nice and shiny on the outside, like mine. Some people like it black and deep. All that crap about masks and those modern analysis made me really sick. Does anyone of those even know what it all means? All those theories…all those explanations but not one of them to stop the race in my head.
Shell sometimes did. If you wrapped yourself in the soothing darkness of it’s wet interior it could sooth your corps in its nothingness. Voices would get lost…until you couldn’t hear anything at all…only feel the cold breeze of the Shell’s emptiness…floating in dark abyss. My limbs felt detached from my body and sent all over the cosmic frontiers yet so close they were entering my flesh and digging my very essence… No colours. No thoughts. No lights or textures or feelings or needs…
Just Shell.
I think that’s what’s the same about all the Shells. Inside they must be equal. That’s why we only stick to the outsides. Not facing the insides…
Who would be abnormal enough to wish for the darkness when you can stare in the Sun all your life letting it’s rays blind you till you lose sense of anything that hurts. Till your eyes become blind to the eternity of pain that stands in its shadow and your eyelids burn into their current position so you can’t move them anymore. Neck immobilised in it’s position, body blocked in it’s stance.
Is Shell a blessing or a curse? Can we all enter inside?
My walls looked pristine. White is so darn positive, made me forget about my suicide plans for few moments.
Self-convincing phase: ‘’You’re so overdramatic everything is perfect in your life what if you were hungry and poor in the street how can you be so selfish think of the people who love you…’’
Self-destructive phase: ‘’You think someone loves you you jerk you don’t even love yourself how do you expect anyone else to do you think anyone will ever understand you or love you get real kill yourself…’’
It was happening again. My mind. I couldn’t make it stop. Not even for one moment. It hunted me and tortured me in thousands of different voices, it placed tears in my eyes and flushed my cheeks and I hated it. They merged they floated they rose they fell but they never went away…
But Shell was there…it’ll would never have left me. Like having a naked soul freed from it’s chains but captured in solitude of never-ending night. It wished to scream ‘’This is me! Look at me now!’’ but there was nobody to hear it…
And no one will…not now not ever…
I made my Shell permanent ad closed the only entrance that once existed. I don’t know if I ever regretted doing that.
They found me in the bathtub on December the sixth.
My veins were slit.
Detective didn’t care too much about it. He sent in the CSI and concluded it was just another ‘’loony suicidal case’ leaving home to have lunch or something.
That’s all I heard before sliding into darkness. Lights went out. Colours ceased existing.
I was dead. And, what’s the worst about it, I’ve expected it to be so different. I thought I’d just be sucked into my Shell which would become so cosy all of the sudden and all the lights would shine so bright and all the colours would stop hurting my eyes and all the sounds would stop piercing my eardrums…I was wrong. I closed my way in. It rejected me so brutally and condemned me on this passive existence in the world I so desperately tried to escape from. Hell is what you’re trying to run to or escape from but eventually end in. Depends on which role did you get in the beginning. You play it fine, you follow all the rules, you still lose.
Why?
Cause it’s just the way things go.


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Friday, December 16, 2005

   FINALLY
Finally, I've got my self back online again! Whoohoo! But, I've got so much to do before I can enjoy the bliss of net...sniff... So, for the last few months I've been everywhere, done everything, met a whole crowd of crazy great ppl and had a lot of fun even if I had to study like a mediaeval monk:O

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

   Devilish
Today I stole some time between reading Hamurabi's laws and sick theories about the creation of the state and ran to the informatics cabinet to write a post:) Am I wicked or what?:O
Everything has been fine by now and I hope I'll manage to learn everything in time since I've got like 350 pages of different stuff to prepare in two weks.
COFFFFEEEEEE:O
Anyways, the crew is good and that's all that matters;)
Hope to be able to write soon, stay alive people:O Byebye!
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Thursday, September 22, 2005

Byebye;(

music video code by urbnmix.net
coldplay - yellow

	Tomorrow, I'm leaving. Actually, I'm moving to capital and I probably won't be able to get online for some time... Anyways, even if I could, I probably wouldn't have any time for that. I'll have to get used to everything, unpack...get some stuff done at the university and... well study like a donkey or sth:O So, I doubt I'll be able to put posts any time before Christmas, hehe... But, like Arnie said-I'LL BE BAAACK:O Thanks to everyone who ever spent his/her precious time on my site, downloaded my wallpapers, sent my greetings or voted for my fan arts:) Hope to see ya all folks soon, Rhae*<>*

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Saturday, September 17, 2005

Coldplay

	Noise noise noise and sounds... I had a moment of inspiration and drew many pics these days, also made a lot of wallpapers just to kill time. Anyways, I got completely hooked on Coldplay since I'm going away next week and I seriously don't know if I'll come home before Christmas. So...I needed some light music to listen to and Coldplay was a logical choice. Another thing that was on my mind lately is poetry. I got kinda obsessed with it and downloaded tons of poems:O Everything else is good I think. I think:) Only, I really am very confused and have no idea what to do, but it'll pass...I guess...

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Wednesday, September 7, 2005

   Custom
The gods too are fond of a joke. Aristotle

	Sunny outside.Boring inside, maybe cause I'm kinda hooked on Coldplay and old rock for few days now. Didn't write anything in days now...No inspiration... Only making some wallpapers and feeling numb. Whatever. Had a coffee with my friends and heard latest news. Everybody so worried about new life that begins once you're gone off to university...and I don't even feel like it's gonna happen in just few weeks from now. As if it's all happening to someone else. These news are getting more and more shitty every day. I think I'll just stop watching. Or stick to ''Love And Marriage'':O Lucky thing is that qualifications for world soccer championship began. We won against Iceland and today we're gonna win against Malta(I hope;)

music video code by urbnmix.net
r.e.m. - losing my religion


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Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Sea time
Today was a nice sunny day and I went to the beach with my friend. But, there's one catch about the two of us. Every time we go somewhere-it starts raining:O Anyways, we at least had two swims before it started raining. Now I'm exhausted and only able to do some quizes...

What Icons are for you?(Thank you for #1!! Please check out my other Memes!!) by ladyallie
Username
Favourite Colour
Sex	MaleFemaleYES PLEASE!UndecidedBothNeither
Your Love icon is...
Your Sad Icon is...
Your Happy Icon is...
Your Angry Icon is...
Your Food Icon is...
Your Animal Icon is...
Your Random Icon is...
Your Cartoon Icon is...
Your Sexy Icon is...
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Which famous punk/rock stars will you get into bed?(for females) by burymesoftly
Your Name
Your Punk/Rock Lover	Lars Frederickson of Rancid
Where	a creepy backwoods side show
Position	you on top
What he says about your "talent"	"marry me!"
What happens afterwards	he calls you when hes around
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Which Japanese word are you? by gokumew2
LJ Username
You are:	Ame (rain)
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Why would I die in a horror movie? by toxicninja
Name
Age
Gender
Killed by	head cut off
Killed because	you're too goody goody
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What does your name mean? by Vampiric13
Your Name
Your Name Means...	Loyal
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Movie Partners (Girls Only!) by churchbabe
Your Username
Lord of the Rings Partner	Pippin
Star Wars Partner	Yoda
Pirates of the Caribbean Partner	Will Turner
Finding Nemo Partner	Gill
Harry Potter Partner	Draco Malfoy
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Afterlife as an Angel by childdoll
Your Name
Astrological Sign
Angel Type	Seraph
Wing Color	Black
Heavenly Weapon	Axe
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What Is Your Life Motto? by mswickedgirlie
Name
Age
Sex
Your Motto	I did it all for me.
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Blind date with a hot anime guy ^.^ by Originality
Name
Age
Lucky Number
Favorite color
Date ===
Where the date is	Resteraunt
First thing date says to you	"Sorry I'm late"
Last thing date says to you	"Hope to see ya again sometime!"
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What kind of Final Fantasy Character would I be? by TheBlueParadox
Your Name/Handle
Your Hair Style	Gravity Defying Spikey Silver
Your Clothing Style	Very Concealing Dark Robe
Your Weapon of Choice	Daggers
Your Mission	To Save Your Own Hide.
Your Role in the Fantasy	True Hero:"We leave together."
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Gundam Wing Blind Date! (Girl Version) by Megami-chan
Name
Favorite Color
Your date is...	Quatre Raberba Winner
You will spend your date...	at a theme park
Your source of transportation	Tallgeese
Will you have a good time?	Sure.
Chance that he likes you back: 29%
Before your date ends...	you slap him.
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Lord Of the Rings Blind Date by Engrish_spy
User Name
Your Date	Farimir
Where Did You Go	A Fancy Resturant
Why did He Dis You	You haven't slayed a dragon
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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