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Wednesday, September 14, 2005


0005: MoviePhile02: The Transporter 2
Let me put it to you this way, me and several friends were too late for the Brothers Grimm show, so we watched the only movie that was still availible, Transporter 2. We were still five minutes late, but the less minutes I had to watch this movie, the less braincells I'd lose.

This movie is one big cliche. You won't pick it up at first, but this movie is a direct rip-off of secret agent movies made for kids. Agent Cody Banks comes to mind, since it was the last one I had to sit through, it wasn't that bad for a kids movie.

This movie should have been advertised that it was a cliche, this movie is like the Kill Bill of James Bond, except it does a really bad job at it. It seriously comes across as half car commercial and half white-boy martial arts movie... with weapons...

I had one major problem with this movie, the female villan is really unattractive to me, hopefully to you as well. This movie has her fighting in her undies in every scene, and usually underneath fire sprinklers. Wet, half-naked, ugly girl firing limitless bullets like Rambo doesn't appeal to me.

So... what was this movie actually about? (Close your eyes, spoiler freaks) Basically, the Transporter gets reduced to driving this celeberty's kid to school and back. The kid has to go to the doctor's for a check-up. Villians want kid, villians get kid and ask for ransom. Parents pay ransom, they get kid, kid has virus that kills people in a few hours after breathing in his air. The Transporter goes after the antidote. Transporter gets antidote. Transporter saves kid and everyone else. The end.

Don't see this movie.


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