Thursday, January 26, 2006

0053: Today's the big day! (The big day... I can hardly wait...)
My mom confronted me today, and I confronted her back. We are both in horrible shape, and we want to do something about it. We both consulted eachother about our health, both mental and physical.

Mom told me that she has enough cholesterol and blood sugar to go diabetic. It is very possible that she could suddenly need medicine for it at any point. She told me that from my habits, I'm in a similar position. She is very optimistic that I can improve my condition, while she might not be able to bounce back.

Here's where I'm supposed to burst out into tears right? I'm still crying from two hours ago. It hasn't stopped.

So we both know we need to make a change. What's stopping us? Dad. This is the guy who bucks the system anyway he can just because it brings a fun moment to his boring life of reading the newspaper and watching NASCAR and stock reviews. This is the guy that has adversely affected my mental health every time I've tried to bring it back. He's flung me into depression twice. He stops us from dieting and working out by refusing to do anything around the house, and having horrific midnight meals where he will gorge on an entire box of cereal, a box of donuts, a gallon of ice cream, you name it.

With mom backing me up, I am confronting him tomorrow night after we finish whatever we're doing with Brad. I am really optimistic about this, I'm really certain that me having a serious sit-down with him and seriously voicing my opinion to him will change something.

Today is the most important day of my life.

To Kisha and Gavin, hell, even Phil: I was planning on talking to mom again about having some sort of way of seeing you guys or just getting a phone call in somewhere. As soon as I was about to open my mouth, the news comes on and starts talking about how children are being conned into giving up information on the internet. Thus, I will be trying later. I think I can finally be optimistic about this, I have all of my facts and proof straight. Just lots of optimism.

And optimism is something I've never had.
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