Sunday, April 1, 2007

Kissing
For the longest time I've been trying to figure out how to desribe a kiss. Not the sexual ones, but the ones you give to someone you really love.I've been searching for words to describe that feeling you get when your lips are pressed against someone else's, when you're breathing their breath, and for a few seconds you are both "perfectly aligned".

I finally figured it out yesterday.

Kissing is how you say 'I love you', only without the words.

It seems so obvious now.



And just for kicks (the ending is the best):

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Saturday, March 31, 2007

songs

~"Hey Jealousy", Gin Blossoms
(I don't really care about the pairings, I just liked the song and I didn't want to use the original video because I couldn't find a good quality orginal)


~"Torn", Natalie Imbruglia
(the orginal video was interesting but i liked this one better)
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

"Josie" Blink 182
Squall just stopped by! It was only a couple of minutes! But he stopped by! I'm so happy right now! Just to say "I love you". Wasn't that sweet of him?

I wanted to kiss him so badly, but not until Monday. It always feels so good when I kiss him, not sexually..it just makes me happy...So we just hugged...

I missed him today. He frustrated me, he didn't tell me about all that stuff he posted today..WE've been together so long, doesn't he know he can tell me?

But I'm happy and all out of breath. I saw him and touched him. I'm happy.
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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

*sneeze* (since I just sneezed)
I stayed home yesterday. Over slept by three hours...I dont' know what's wrong with me. I got pretty lonely, so I was really hyper when Caraway came home and when Tina stopped by. Not to mention I had had some tea with a lot of sugar in it, and Tina-chan brought me green tea boba. It wasn't as good as the boba from her work, but it was still good.

I kept running around and around and around. I had so much energy. I suppose it didnt' help that I took a 2 hour nap earlier in the day, huh? I played a lot of Soul Calibur II. Go Link!! We like Link, he's so cool. But Dark Link is cooler. Just something about a black silouette with glowing red eyes...Lol. Tina had to go to work, so she came back afterwards and spent some more time just hanging out with me, talking on the sofa. We spent a lot of time doing personality quizzes from this book call Korokology or smething like that. Apparently, it analyses your innermost thoughts based on very simple answers. It was okay...

So squall told me that while he was at work, he was stationed with this guy who was talking about how women can't be trusted and that we're always doing something bad, we're unfaithful, etc. Squall mentioned me and the guy wanted to see a picture, but squall doesn't have one. Oh well, whatever. I asked if Squall defended me, since I wasn't there to defend myself, he said no. something about not having time, or able to say anything. I teased him about it, but the more I think about it, the angrier i get. "Next time, I'll lose my job for you!" ....whatever. You'll lose your job because you're taking a stand against something that is wrong? So what if he's superior to you, it's okay to have a different opinion, not the end of the world. Maybe you'd earn some respect if you, you know, had some courage. Unless, squall, you actually agreed with what he said...

I always try to defend it, but I guess it's true what they say, chivalry is dead. I thought it was on a respirator or something..but no, it's flatlined.

Okay, i'm done ranting about that now.

It's really windy outside. I woke up 15 minutes earlier than when i was supposed to wake up, which was pretty early, seeing as how I was supposed to get up at 4 am(atm, it's 6 am). I dont' like it when it's this windy, especially at night. The wind always makes me restless.
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Sunday, March 25, 2007

Sums it up


~"Bitch", Meredith Brooks
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Saturday, March 24, 2007

7 years


I told myself that I wasn't going to ever edit a post again, but here I am.

SO yeah...we spent about 4...hours being very not happy with eachother. then i just got yelled at by the general. stupid stupid stupid person.

but squall and i are good. we're really trying to work things out. and i want to be really hopeful, but i can't get carried away.

I lied Squall. You're words aren't shallow or pale. I know you mean them. I wish you would always tell me "I love you". It's my favourite thing to hear you say, because I can just feel it. Even if it's not the exact way I want, you still love me. you're trying to love me on my terms too. That makes me love you even more.

If you could only see...

I love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you

Have I said it enough? I don't care what anyone else says. I love you, Squall. Don't ever forget it, okay? I just want you. so please don't act nonchelant when you're leaving, but if you really are eager to get home say so. otherwise, make it seem like you don't want to leave, even if it's only a little...please? And if you really need me, make it seem like it a little. Not just for backrubs or as a pillow...but you know what i mean, don't you?
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"I will love Squall no matter what happens. May he hate me or not. I shall stay by his side. Always and forever."


"Truth" - Seether


I just deleted a whole bunch of posts without realising it. I have to figure out which ones and modify it now. fuck...i don't know which ones I deleted. fuck. not a good day.

Probably the one yesterday about how tired I was and how i did't talk.

Then I don't know which else.

Fuck.

I liked those posts.

A lot.

Fuck.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I feel sick.
I'm tired.

It's all coming part at the seams.
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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

"Life is a loaded gun"

So pull the trigger.



Bang Bang


We shot each other down.


Or was it click click? Another game of Russian Roulette? Where we think everything is on the line, but we realise it's just us being stupid?

Nothing happened, fear not those of you who read this. Squall and I are still together. We're in the process of trying to figure out what the hell we're doing. But if we weren't doing this, it might be boring. Lol. I love him. That's all that counts, right? Even if the cooties that he carries around from being a boy make him stupid.

Guess it's got something to do with missing that extra bit of chromosome. ^_^

XX XY <---see? it's missing a piece.
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Monday, March 19, 2007

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No one talks to me. Tina says nothing when I ask what she's thinking about. hell, i don't even know where we stand. I can't talk to her. I can't talk to sleeper. Squall...god...Squall..It's like I can't talk to him.

"No where to turn
No one to help
It's almost like I don't even know myself"
"Loves Me Not", t.A.T.u

It's like all my relationships (friendships, etc) area all falling apart at the same time. this sucks. and it hurts so much.

Oh, and my new boots are hurting my ankles pretty bad, they're all red. I think they may bleed soon. Great, huh? so much for tall socks.

"Life is a loaded gun"
~Billy Collins

So pull the trigger.
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