Monday, May 1, 2006

Venting...
I'VE GOT CRAMPS...okay...there...I said it....I feel better now....not that anyone really wanted to know that...but it's just really really odd. This is the second time I've gotten cramps in my entire life...The first time being the last occasion on which I went horse back riding...which was a few years ago...so one can see why this is so painful!!!

anyways..onto the real stuff and not the trivial, female issues..um...i wonder if he's happy being with me.

I frustrate him, I know. And I rarely make anything easy, but, he doesn't realise that he's not much different. He does the same things I do, and he says those things. He says stuff about other girls and the what-not. He talks about coming out of his own little world because of me. I'm happy that he's comfortable talking to me about stuff like that. I'm happy that he's sharing with me. But it sounds like he misses it, and it hurts because i sometimes feel like I'm not doing a very good job at being his girlfriend.

He wants to save everyone. He told me that. Which means he wants to be other people's knight. Not just mine. Is it selfish of me? To want him to be my knight and no one else's? I mean, it's not like I really need a knight. I've always fought for myself. I always will, but sometimes, I think it would be nice to have someone fight for me. I wouldn't even have to ask them to do it, and they would. They would come out of no where and just save the day.

But life's not a fairy-tale, is it?

Besides, that hero would probably fumble with the sword and I would have to fight anyways.

Don't ever get me wrong though!! I love Squall with all of my heart!! I wouldn't trade any of this for anything in the world if it meant being seperated from him!

I sound horrible, don't I? I sound jealous. That's the last thing I want to sound like. Maybe I am jealous. If I am, I don't want to be. Being jealous is horrible, and can lead to situations I don't even want to think about. How funny, feeling hurt and possibly jealous over words...how stupid...


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Sunday, April 23, 2006

Music
I'm on a Shakira trip right now...That's all I'll listen to..particularly the song "Don't Bother". It's a really good song. I've listened to it repeatedly all day...

.... .. . ..... ...

..I think I need help...
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Saturday, April 15, 2006

*yawn*
I'm really tired right now...the sad thing is..it's 9:37 in the morning. though by the time i post this, it'll be much later and i'll feel even more pathetic for being so tired. I would still be asleep if it weren't for that confounded phone...it woke me up...i was having a funky dream too, though i can't remember what it was about. Squall was in it, i can remember that much. ^_^

Nothing has been really happening lately. Balamb is actually going to hold a showcase, though. I'm really excited because I actually got Squall to be in with me! We're doing three scenes and one of them is from Phantom of the Opera. The musical version. That's right, Squall, the master of silence, is going to sing!

*looks around* Let's just hope he doesn't read this until AFTER the performance, because he said if i kept bragging about it, he would drop out. So, shhh..I'm not bragging about anything. I'm just informing...yeah yeah, that's it..

lol ^_^
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Tuesday, April 4, 2006

Um...Nothing imparticular
Squall tried to trick me on Saturday, seeing as how it was April Fools and all, but he didn't do very well. I could tell he was lying practically right away, give or take a second or two. Of course Squall isn't very good at jokes like that. Or jokes in general. ^_^ He's still cute though, especially when he tries to make a joke and it's ridiculously stupid...lol.

I'm not going to say what the joke was though, I don't think he would want me to. It's actually kind of naughty, like something Irvine might say. I think he has been talking to Irvine a bit too much and Irvine's starting to rub off on him. I hope he doesn't get too naughty though...!
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Thursday, March 23, 2006

re: ... .... ....
We're not fighting anymore! we're good. for now.
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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

.... ..... ....
Squall and I are having bad fights again. We were getting along so well.

What more need be said?
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Friday, March 3, 2006

Stuff
Squall is coming back from his retreat in a few hours. I have no idea as to whether or not I'm going to see him. But I'm not going to wait for the bus to come back. It's raining and it's very very cold.

Besides, if he wants to see me, he's going to have to come and get me.

I miss him though.

For anyone who's confused about the briefness and lack of real feeling or excitement: he and i are sort of going through stuff right now. It hurts a lot.
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Wednesday, March 1, 2006

Squall
Squall went on a retreat with all the other SeeDs so I am left all alone for the rest of today, tomorrow, and Friday...YAY!!

Actually, I kinda miss him, but I wrote him a letter to take on his retreat; and he wrote me three letters, one for today, tomorrow and Friday. It's very tempting to read the other two letters, but I won't. I'll wait until their respective days to read them.

I let him take along my Foamy shirt to sleep in. And I don't me foamy as in the texture, I mean as in what's on the front of the shirt. 'tis Foamy the Squirrel. I suggest anyone interested should check out Foamy at www.illwillpress.com I'm warning you now, he swears a lot, but he's got a lot of valid points about society and stuff.

I miss Squall though!! He'll be back soon and I can return to annoying him. yay.
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Friday, February 24, 2006

The Winter Formal - Part 2
Okay, so the last entry wasn't officially titled "The Winter Formal-Part 1", but..i needed a title...'cause it looks better that way. ^_^

Anyways...I guess the Formal was okay. The music was too loud though. You see, I have sensitive hearing so I consider a lot of things too loud. Heh..The music wasn't that formal-ish either. There was a lot of R&B, Hip-Hop, and Rap. I believe, during dinner, they played "I'm in Love with a Stripper" ^_^;; no joke.

I didn't get to dance either..I don't think I would have wanted to. Some of the students looked like they were being rather naughty, to be honest. I bet they would have expected Squall and me to be naughty too...

What's ironic, is that none of the instructors did anything about it. Which was suprising.

The windows started to fog up though, so I wrote on them. ^_^

I hope the Seed Graduation Ball is in a bigger room this year. That way, I won't have my ears hurting by the end of the evening.
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Sunday, February 19, 2006

The Winter Formal
Balamb is holding their Winter Formal this evening...yay..! Um..yeah..I'm kinda worried that I'm going to trip over my dress walking up the stairs or down them or whatever. ^_^;; After all, it's not like my dress is as short as my creme one. It goes down past my knees in the front and trails down on the ground in the back. Oh..and it's black this time, not creme.

Chances are, we're not going to dance this time, maybe once or twice. Everyone knows Squall, he's not one for dancing. He's good at it though. It only works so often when I drag him out on the dance floor...I get away with that..oh..I dunno..maybe once a dance?

Ah, well. The point is to go and have fun, even if I don't get to dance.
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