Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I stood in the rain for 20 minutes. I got soaked. I feel different, not clean, not...anything. not better.
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Monday, November 24, 2008

A year and a week..roughly.
I can't believe...I pushed you back like that...And I'm sorry for it. So this is over due. It's been one year, and I miss you. Everyone does.


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Sunday, November 23, 2008

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Saturday, November 22, 2008

22nd November.

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Friday, November 21, 2008

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I feel so sick.
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Being patient is difficult.

The post takes forever.
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I've got writer's block and an essay due tomorrow. Just my luck. I'll sleep on it and write it out tomorrow. Lie awake in bed, an attempt to distract myself. I'm much too distracted from my work here. I'll be able to distract myself from these distractions and focus in bed.

God I hate sleeping now. I hate being awake, too. Sleeping never lasts long enough and wakefulness lasts forever.

I want to laugh at all this, I want to so bad. Cruel, sardonic, but i'm too in the moment or maybe i'm too far away? I can only do the opposite and you wonder why. I hurt and so do you. Because you hurt. That's why.

Being patient is difficult.
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Monday, November 17, 2008

bemused, disjointed thoughts, poetically written, they mean nothing or maybe everything.
Keep moving, even though you cannot see. But be careful, you might fall off a cliff.

Keep moving, even though you cannot see.
Falling off a cliff is still movement.

Only when you stop falling do you have something to worry about.

When you've ceased to fall, pick yourself up and keep moving.

"There are no mistakes in life some people say
It is true sometimes you can see it that way
But people don't live or die people just float
She went with the man in the long black coat.


That has nothing to do with the current predicament (sp?). I liked the floating bits, reminded me of water, reminded me of constant movement. It wouldn't have been right without the rest of it.

gibberish.

And I feel sick.


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Saturday, November 15, 2008

High off of hope and bubble gum
The longer this goes, the more detached I'll be.
I'll rationalise away the pain,
But the desire to slit my wrists is just the same
Just the same.

I'll wait as long as I can
But I've never been patient, you know that
I can take this great escape,
Run away, so far away
So far away.

Should I stay?
Shall you go?
Could I blame you?
No, I would blame me.

I don't know if I can stand the thought of you Hating me
I don't know if I can stand the thought of you loving me
Differently
Looking at me, so dangerously
So dangerously

So, don't you compromise anything.
Not unless you see things differently.
I know you'll see me differently.
I don't know if I'll be able to take that.
I don't know.

Sullied.
And flawed.
Maybe I'll go so you don't have to look at me
So you won't have to touch me
Touch me


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