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myOtaku.com: Rinoa Heartilly07


Wednesday, June 11, 2008


"All I can taste is champagne..Another day down the drain.."
It's 20 minutes until midnight. 20 minutes until 11 June, 2008. It's not quite there yet, no matter what the date-heading tells you. It lies.

I'm ancy. I'm peeved. I'm, quite blankly, pissed off over nothing. I know it's over nothing and I can't stop being mad. we went to the gym for 45 minutes then left; hardly seemed like a workout. we didn't work out together.

you apologised. you always apologise. i never do. i should. I'm sorry for getting angry about something so stupid, but i'm still really angry. very angry.

I wanted to walk, but something just seemed funny. something seems off today. So I didn't walk. I came back 1/4 of the way there, if that. I wanted to swing and calm down. I didn't.

It's taken me 3 minutes to write all of that.

I came back instead. Everything seems off. Maybe I should shower? But something seems so strange and off. I wonder if I'll sleep tonight? I don't think i could sleep tonight. I don't think I'd want to sleep tonight. It's just too weird to sleep. It's too weird to stay awake. Everything is so off.

I can't believe that in 16 minutes it will be midnight. by this point in the evening, normally i'm too exhausted to do anything, i want to sleep but i stay awake for reasons beyond my understanding. I wait for Scrubs. I want to watch it because you watch it.

I want to watch it because you watch, but it would feel off and I wouldn't feel right. I'll probably watch the beginning then turn it off anyways half way through then turn it back on again and turn it off again. I'll keep doing that.

I want you to call, but I have nothing to say to you. I'll be mean again and I shouldn't keep putting you through that.

You won't read this until weeks from now. I wonder if you ever read this..?

I wanted to cry when you left but it didn't seem right. The tears are there but I don't want to cry. I'm too..off..to cry.

Everything is off.

Everything is weird.

Maybe it's from all the times I've tried to get some sleep through out the day? I dont' sleep.

I won't sleep. Not tonight. I won't sleep.

I promise.

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