Monday, December 29, 2003

EH WHA?!
Wow I am fucked up. Today is my first day back up north since Christmas. DAMN IT'S COLD! I almost curled up in front of my fireplace and slept on the floor because I was so cold. My family does not believe in central air. Urk.

Anywho, the Bahamas were incredible. Something about the atmosphere and the people around us rubbed me the wrong way. They are all so nice, and yet as an undertone, you can tell how much they truly hate tourists. At the same time, however, they love us because we are all rich and stupid, and can be duped into buying a small trinket for a ridiculous price for the reason of "labor," I won't lie. I did my fair share of tourist consuming, but just some people there were so loud, obnoxious, and very very American. Wasting stuff, just walking around thinking they are so cool because they can do the island talk, and say "Mon!" after every sentence. It's just mildly annoying, but I can see why the Bahamians don't like tourists, but love their money.

Well as for me, I got to do almost everything that rocked down there. Jet Skiing was fabulous. The nice thing about that place is that they are so lax with rules, they didn't ask for my non-existent license. So Andy and I went Jet Skiing, and just opened up in the open water, pulling donuts and trying to throw each other off. It felt really good to drive something really fast, and know that you couldn't get hurt while you were on it. They also had tennis courts. It was nice to just play freely, and not worry about anything. I just got to wail on the ball in perfect weather. We also went reef diving. Some of the things down there are so vivid. I wish that I had been a visual artist. Some of the things I saw and tried to photograph were simply astounding.

While I was on the trip I did a lot of thinking. Andy was sick for the last day, as was my mother, and my dad was being one of those tourists that the Bahamians want to string up by their toes.

I was thinking about what perfection and happiness is. Happiness is in truth a non-existent thing. We can never be truly happy in all aspects of our life. If you are happily in love, then some other aspect of yourself you are not happy with, and you want to change that. As a species we can never truly be happy, because if we ever truly lived "Happily Ever After," then we will eventually get bored of it, and pursue something greater. That may have been what drove the kings to the great quests. If you are a king, then you can get whatever you want. You are already seen as a demi-god in a sense because you hold all power over everyone. If you have this kind of power, it will get very boring. You do the same thing everyday, and nothing changes. You can do whatever you want, and nobody ever challenges you.

The kings figured this out, and decided to go do something. They then thought up an idea of something to search for, backing it up with scriptures, i.e. the Holy Grail, and spent their life searching for it along with their subjects. They spent their entire life with the idea that if they found the Holy Grail, they would truly be happy. Of course when they got the Holy Grail, the king would eventually get bored with that, unless he was dead already.

Anyway there's the random Bahamas thought for the day. So in truth, no one will ever truly be happy. The pursuit of it, however, is the greatest thing a human being can ever undertake because it unites you and whoever else is doing the same thing under a similar purpose. That's all humans need, is connections to other humans.

I think I'm done for today. I'm going to go find something to do around here. No longer can I simply walk to the courts and take a clinic, or laze on the beach and read. Oh well. Paradise can't last forever.