Tuesday, August 3, 2004

   Umm...wow?
Well, I want to thank you guys AGAIN for everything!! ^_^ I know I'm such a whiner, but that's not how I am usually I promise! I really don't like to ask ppl for help but I trust you guys so I did! Thanks! ^^ Also, I had to go to school today for band practice...I didn't want to go and I had to learn how to play a Melophone (or whatever it's called) and it's more like a trumpet than a french horn! Mrs Steele didn't even show me how to hold the thing, and I had to ask Brad one of my guy 'friends' on how to hold it. I think she didn't tell me how to hold it b/c I wasn't there yesterday...but I didn't wanna go dammit! Sometimes I hate my band teacher, but I'm thinking of switching into Choir or something...my friends ~do~ say I have a good voice...*small shrug* But I came home, and started watching my Linkin Park 'Live in Texas' DVD and that cheered me up! ^_^ Oh, and Hieiartemis, if my comment didn't show up, I'n sorry! Something happened while I was trying to post it and it said to contact the administrator...O.o weird. Welp, that's all I have to say for today! I'll try to post my story tomorrow if I can ok?! Welp, bye! *waves* ^_^ ^_~
Comments (5) | Permalink

Monday, August 2, 2004

   Ummm...somin? O.o
^^; Well, I'm feeling better now thanks to all of you! *bows* Thanks much! I also bought a Linkin Park CD/DVD today! ^_____^ It was the 'Live in Texas' concert and it came with the DVD and the CD to go along with it! IT ISH AWESOME!! Well, thanks for everything pplz, I'm gonna go to my friend's house today (thankfully...^^;) and I hope to have fun! I usually always do but u know what I mean right? ^^;;; Welp, thanks for everything guys and gals! *waves* ^_^ ^_~
Comments (6) | Permalink

Saturday, July 31, 2004

   Hey do good ppl! *waves*
Well, I am feeling much, much better after everything u guys did for me! And on wednesday, *points at last post* Is when I was really down about mostly everything right? So when I came back from eating with my mom and bro, I closed the door to my room and put my 'Linkin Park' CD in my little stereo thingy I have in my room. As I was listening to the songs, I realized that I could relate to the lyrics and decided to write them down in my notebook. I wrote down the lyrics to 4 songs in that CD, and I'll show you which one they are by posting the lyrics ^^' Hope u don't mind! And the lines that are all in capitals mean I felt very strongly about that or that's how I felt ok?! Welp, here we go!
Somewhere I belong-Linkin Park
When this began
I had nothing to say
AND I'D GET LOST IN THE NOTHINGNESS INSIDE OF ME
I WAS CONFUSED
And I let it all out to find/That I'm
Not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only thing I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
JUST STUCK/HOLLOW AND ALONE
AND THE FAULT IS MY OWN
AND THE FAULT IS MY OWN

I want to heal
I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I WANT TO LET GO OF THE PAIN I'VE FELT SO LONG
[ERASE ALL THE PAIN 'TILL IT'S GONE]
IT'S GONE]
I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to soemthing real
I WANT TO FIND SOMETHING I'VE WANTED ALL ALONG
SOMEWHERE I BELONG

And i've got nothing to say
I can't believe I fell right down on my face
I WAS CONFUSED
Looking everywhere/Only to find that it's
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
SO WHAT AM I
WHAT DO I HAVE BUT NEGATIVITY
CAUSE I CAN'T JUSTIFY THE
WAY EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT ME
NOTHING TO LOSE
NOTHING TO GAIN/HOLLOW AND ALONE
AND THE FAULT IS MY OWN
THE FAULT IS MY OWN

I WILL NEVER KNOW
MYSELF UNTIL I DO THIS ON MY OWN
AND I WILL NEVER FEEL
ANYTHING UNTIL MY WOUNDS ARE HEALED
I WILL NEVER BE
ANYTHING TILL I BREAK AWAY FROM ME
AND I WILL BREAK AWAY
I'LL FIND MYSELF TODAY

I WANT TO HEAL
I WANT TO FEEL LIKE I'M
SOMEWHERE I BELONG

Lying From You-Linkin Park
When I pretend
Eveything is what I want it to be
I LOOK EXACTLY LIKE YOU HAD ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE
WHEN I PRETEND
I CAN FORGET ABOUT THE CRIMINAL I AM
Stealing second after second just cause
I know I can/But
I CAN'T PRETEND THIS IS THE WAY
IT WILL STAY/I'M JUST
TRYING TO BEND THE TRUTH
I CAN'T PRETEND IM' WHO YOU WANT IT TO BE
SO I'M

LYING MY WAY FROM YOU

[NO/NO TURNING BACK NOW]
I WANNA BE PUSHED ASIDE
SO LET ME GO
[NO/NO TURNING BACK NOW]
LET ME TAKE BACK MY LIFE
I'D RATHER BE ALL ALONE
[NO TURNING BACK NOW]
ANYWHERE ON MY OWN
'CAUSE I CAN SEE
[NO/NO TURNING BACK NOW]
The very worst part of you
Is me

I remember what they taught to me
Remember condescending talk
Of who I ought to be
Remember listening to all of that
AND THIS AGAIN
SO I PRETENDED UP A PERSON WHO WAS FITTING IN
AND NOW YOU THINK THIS PERSON
REALLY IS ME AND I'M
[TRYING TO BEND THE TRUTH]
BUT THE MORE I PUSH
THE MORE I'M PULLING AWAY
'CAUSE I'M

lying my way from you

THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANTED TO BE
I NEVER THOUGHT THAT WHAT I SAID
WOULD HAVE YOU RUNNING FROM ME
LIKE THIS

The very worst part of you
The very worst part of you
Is me

Breaking The Habit-Linkin Park
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
YOU ALL ASSUME
I'M SAFE HERE IN MY ROOM
[UNLESS I TRY TO START AGAIN]

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
CAUSE INSIDE I REALIZE
THAT I'M THE ONE CONFUSED

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I DON'T KNOW WHY I INSTIGATE
TO SAY WHAT I DON'T MEAN
I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT THIS WAY
I KNOW IT'S NOT ALRIGHT
SO I'M
BREAKING THE HABIT
TONIGHT

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I HURT MUCH MORE
THAN ANYTIME BEFORE
I had no options left again

I'll paint it on the walls
Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT THIS WAY
I'LL NEVER BE ALRIGHT
SO I'M
BREAKING THE HABIT
BREAKING THE HABIT
TONIGHT

Numb-Linkin Park
I'M TIRED OF BEING WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE
FEELING SO FAITHLESS
LOST UNDER THE SURFACE
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE EXPECTING OF ME
Put under the pressure
Of walking in your shoes

[Caught in the undertow/
Just caught in the undertow]
EVERY STEP THAT I TAKE IS
ANOTHER MISTAKE TO YOU

I've
Become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
ALL I WANT TO DO
IS BE MORE LIKE ME
AND BE LESS LIKE YOU

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly
Afarid to lose control
'CAUSE EVERYTHING THAT YOU THOUGHT I WOULD BE
HAS FALLEN APART RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU

[Caught in the undertow/
Just caught in the undertow]
EVERY STEP THAT I TAKE IS
ANOTHER MISTAKE TO YOU
[Caught in the undertow/
Just caught in the undertow]
AND EVERY SECOND I WASTE
IS MORE THAN I CAN TAKE

BUT I KNOW
I MAY END UP FAILING TOO
BUT I KNOW
YOU WERE JUST LIKE ME
WITH SOMEONE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU


There we go! Those are the lyrics that I put down on my notebook when I was feeling down. Thanks for listening! ^_^
Comments (4) | Permalink

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

   Hey evereyone...
Hey it's me again...sry I ahvem't updated in a while but I'm still thankful for everything! *sigh* Well I'm really not in the mood to tslk right now...I made a mistake and it might cost me the privilege of talking to 2 of my best friends...maybe you know who I'm talking about but still I'm confused and I feel like my whole life is going down the drain...I'll try to update more often and maybe all of this will get better...I'll try to not bother you anymore but this time it was necessary for me to tell someone...*heavy sigh* Well, ttys I hope...
Comments (4) | Permalink

Friday, July 23, 2004

   Thank you!!!!!!!
awwwww...*sniff* Thank you all sooooooooo much for doing what you could to make me feel better! I really, truly appreciate all that you guys did! *sniff* I know that I can count on you guys for support! Thank you sooo much!

I give you all of my gratitude for being the great friends that you are! I wish there was some way I could pay you back since all of ur advice and support made me feel better! If there is, tell me and I will do my best to give it to you. *small curtsy* Thank you all for your kind words that helped me through my hard time. I truly and deeply respect all of you. ^_^ (Wow...that doesn't sound like me...but it IS me...I guess I have my deep moments sometimes...^^') Well, I hope I get to talk to all of you soon, and I deeply appreciate all that you have done for me! *waves* ^_^ ^_~
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

   ummm...
*sigh* Well I've been very, very busy...and I don't feel too good since I've been having some problems with my family...although there are some friends that cheer me up, I'm still not fully happy...*sad and confused sigh* I really need someone's help...or at least someone that can help me...I hope I feel better soon...that way I don't have to bother you all with my problems...I sound pathetic I know, but this is really how I feel...sometimes I wish my life could be easier, but then again, who doesn't?

My family is very...different, I shall say. I mean, I love my parents and most of my family, but there are just some ppl that I can't stand being in the same room with them. For example, my grandparents. I have a very akward relationship with them since I don't like them, but I still have no choice when it comes to parties or reunieons and stuff like that. I wish my brother could help me since he is the older one, but sometimes I know he tries his best to cheer me up. I can't tell him how I really feel about my family, because I don't want to disappoint him and have him helping me with this instead of doing it by myself. I don't want to be the one that has him all tied up and won't let him have his own time b/c he's helping me with these problems.

My mom, well, I love her of course she's my mother. But sometimes I feel like she tries too hard to understand what I'm going through. Yes I know she was a teenager too, but she is not like me. Other times I feel like she does understand, but won't do anything about it. She tells me to be nice to my grandparents, even though I don't like them. I mean, she knows I don't like them, but still tells me to be nice. I can't be nice to someone I don't like.

My dad, well yes he is very understanding. Sometimes I feel that he understands me more than my mom does. He is an awesome person, but nobody's perfect right? We do fight sometimes, more like most of the time, but we still know that we will be there for each other whenever we need it.

My friends, Erika and Nina, they are very dear to me since they are my best friends. But now, for some reason, they can't come over and their mom doesn't want me staying over at their house. Am I such a bad person?...

Well everyone, thanks for listening to all my problems. Well, most of them at least. Thank you all, and I will try to not bother you anymore. Talk to you soon! *slight wave*
Comments (7) | Permalink

Friday, July 16, 2004

   Hey everyone!
Welp, I decided that I should update today so I am! Well...I thought I should lol ^^' But anyways, I got contacts today!! Yay! I had fun and stuff, and I will visit u guyz sites soon ok?! Sorry I've just been extremely busy sorry!!!!! ^^' Welp, tty all soon!! *waves* ^_^ ^_~
Comments (4) | Permalink

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

   Here it is!
Well, the reason you guys couldn't see the pic was...that I hadn't put it up yet ^^''' I'm sorry I should've told you that ^^''' So sorry! *bows* Well, here it is by the way! ^_^

The one on the left (Fuu) is Nina, the one in the middle (Hikaru) is Erika, and the one on the right (Umi) is me! ^_^ I'll post more pics when I find more and I'll try to look for some kewl pics too ok?! Welp, hope it shows up and ttys! *waves* ^_^ ^_~
Comments (4) | Permalink

Monday, July 12, 2004

Heylo!
Welp, I think I finally got a pic of us 3! Yay! *throws confetti* Well, it has 3 girls and a dude, but yesterday I though that could be our friend Logan! Thanks those of you that leave comments! Thank much! ^_^ Sorry I haven't been updating, I've been over at Erika's house and stuff! I am soo sorry!! I bet ur thinking 'she says that all the time' but I really AM sorry!! *bows*

Welp, right now I haveta go hang out with my bro, mom, and my aunt! I know, barely happens huh? But I thought my aunt deserved a little love from her only niece since she's only gonna be here a couple weeks and then she'll have to go back to Chicago ^^'' So yeah...welp, talk to you all soon! *waves* ^_^ ^_~
Comments (4) | Permalink

Sunday, July 11, 2004

   Hey everyone! *waves*
Heylo heylo!! Welp, I'm here with Erika and Nina yay! Welp, we're waiting for the time to go to dueling comes! So we're...kinda bored, lol.
Erika: I'm boy crazy who-hoo!
Me: -_-*...um, ok...that's different ^^'''
Nina: I am not boy crazy...
Erika: You are kinda boy crazy Rita
Me: O_O...*puts hand over Erika's mouth* Shhh!! Be quiet! They don't have to know! *points at ppl reading this* -_-*
Erika: *muffled* Sorry, sorry! Geez!
Me: -_-*...ok whatever...anyways...ummm...what should we talk about?
Yami-Rita: This is gonna be a LONG day....-_-*...
Me: *nervous laugh* Um, yeah sure maybe O.o...anyways, *watches as Nina slides accross the room dangerously on the computer chair* I'm glad we have two chairs...^^' But anyways, what should we do now?...*stares at Erika and Nina*
Erika: You think we should sleep over again? I wanna talk to a special someone again *winks*
Me: *mumbles* Yeah I'll be sure to tell you if he's online...but his computer isn't working remember?!
Erika: I know...but I still wanna talk to him again! I miss him!
Nina: My sister has an internet boyfriend ^^'
Erika: Just like Rita ^_^
Me: Shh! It's a secret! ^^' lol ^_^''' *laughs nervously*
Erika: We're gonna hook Nina up with his brother! *winks again*
Nina: Maybe if he's 2-1 months older than me...^_^'
Me: Yeah can we stop talking about boys now?! Oh, I'll try to find a pic of us three (not us 3 in real life though lol) and I'll try to post it if I find one k?! Anime-style woot! But anyways...what now?
Erika: Cool. I better look cute!
Me: -_-*...yeah I'll try to find one like that lol *nervous laugh again* Well, bye for now! *waves*
Erika and Nina: *wave*
All 3: Byes! ^_^ ^_~
Comments (2) | Permalink