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Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Dammit...
School Anxiety .
Damn it to hell. It's here, only late. It came real early last year. Friggin' anxitey. I thought it wouldn't happen this year. I joined P.A. last year. It's the team for the kids who learn faster than others. More stress, but hey. What cha' gonna do? But it did come. It's 12:30 at night, and i can't sleep. School anxiety hits me like an on-coming train. I DON'T KNOW WHY THE HELL I'M NERVOUS! I've done this a dozen times. Why am i this way? Every little F***ing thing, i freakout, because i haven't done it in a while, or it's new to me. I blame hormones. And genes!
Last year, i was anxious for about 2 weeks before school started. Is today going to be 2 weeks worth of freak-outs? I couldn't eat much last year, because i was so nervous. I would cry every morning, for no reason. I was thinking to much. What if i mess up? What if i get a stomach ache? Who will i talk to? But i know the answers to those questions now, so whats my excuse for being such a wuss?
Gah. Sorry for my late night rambling. I couldn't sleep, so i figured writing down my thoughts might help. I'm just feeling (mentally) like a pile of dog crap right now. 7th grade was just so hard for me, i'm now afraid of going back to school. It's ridiculus, i know, but i just need to get it out of my system.
::sigh:: It's late, so i guess i'll try an' sleep now. Not much will happen today, i think. Probably play video games and draw like normal, only all the while wallowing in my anxiety. No need to comment if you don't feel comfortable with me talking abot my feelings. XP |
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