Sunday, January 22, 2006

My Forgotten Childhood
My Forgotten Childhood

Disclaimer: Don¡¦t own Connor Hawke belong to DC, who isn¡¦t utilizing him to his full potential. But Trigger does belong to me.
Rating: R
Warning: slash (boy on boy action), non-con (rape), female rapist, violent, swearing, & vampirism, lots of melodrama, hints of incest, unbeta¡¦d
Spoilers: None
Notes: We all know of child molestation, but the female child molester is a highly ignored monster. We like to believe we starting to learn more about the signs of child abuse, but all too frequently when a report of female child abuser comes up in the news, we are shocked. But that should not be the case, while it¡¦s true that the abuser is usually male, that doesn¡¦t give us the right to ignore females as the potential abusers. The female child molester is different from the male child molester, for one thing we are so used to seeing the female as a nurturer that we often misinterpret her abuse as nurturing; it¡¦s a fact that women like to hid their abuse the guise of nurturing. The female molester is not as into power as male abuser is; in fact her sexual abuse of the child is more about fulfilling her sexual fantasies. Females can rape or molest just like any male can; only difference is since she doesn¡¦t have physical strength or the penetrating organ as the male, we often just laugh it off, but the truth is this is a very real subject matter that should not be overlooked.
Summary: Connor has just killed a female child molester, who has been abusing her position as nanny; he in the process remembers his own sexual abuse that happened when he was five. (Yes, I know that Connor is not the punisher-type, but since I revamping him, I can make him very OOC.)

KEY
\\-Reporter speaking
<>-Thought speaking
¡§¡¨-Actual Speech
**-Flashback Speech


\WARNING! A Miss Lori Walker has disappeared from her county jail cell, were she was awaiting trial for her child pornography charges. Miss Walker worked for a highly respected international stockbroker for four years, it has been recently discover that she has been taking unsavory pictures of the two children under her care, the names of the children are being withheld for both children are under the age of ten. An unrevealed source has stated that the woman in question was to be release with misdemeanor charges, in exchange for testimony in a high-collar crime. The police and other law enforcement agencies are franticly searching for her as we speak.\

It¡¦s three o¡¦clock at night, a lone hooded figure cloaked in crimson stands silently watching the streets forty stories below him. The crimson figure watches impassively through glowing blood red eyes the traffic below, it¡¦s heavier than usual, all the police and fellow law enforcement seem to be down there scurrying around looking franticly for their ¡¥missing fugitive;¡¦ it seems almost humorous that these officers who all back in the locker rooms were bitching on how the bitch is getting off easy and now they are all rushing around acting if she were someone worth looking for.

With one last glance of disgust to the people below, turns his back on them, his crimson cloak that hides the blood stains twirls around him, and he disappears from the scene as dark shadow envelopes him. In less than a second he is no longer above ground, he is in fact now underground, in the empty subway station, there is no one around to notice the crimson angel of death. He does one last swept of his surroundings, before lifting his hood off, revealing an exotically beautiful face: fine-features with aquiline-nose, high-sculpted cheekbones, his eyes are almond-shaped the blood red glow is gone replace with radiant emerald eyes, and his skin is a faint but luminous cream latte color. His long golden hair is tied back neatly in low ponytail. Looking at the beautiful figure closely, suddenly you realize his cloak reeks of death; his long talon-like nails are coated in blood and there is small dribble of blood running from his pouty lips to chin.

He¡¦s hauntingly beautiful figure draped in crimson red, that seems so out of place standing in a dirty and murky abandon subway station, all the lights have long been destroyed, yet preternatural senses, he sees just fine if not better, craning his head up he stares up at the ceiling, even below ground his heightened hearing still picks up the loud shouts and frantic running of police officers all nervously searching for their missing fugitive.

He walks over the bench, he does a hasty swept with his hand to brush off the trash that lies on the bench; he takes a sit. Starring blankly out into space, ignoring the franticness hundreds of feet above him, no longer just thinking about what happen to those children, an unwanted memory surfaces in mind.

*Come on, little Connie, put on the sailor suit so I can take lots of pretty little pictures of you. I promise to give you a lollipop, if you do. *

*Connie, if you don¡¦t do exactly as I say I will tell your mommy what a bad little boy you been. *

*Connie, come over here and get your milk. Remember suck long and hard, if you don¡¦t I will have give you a timeout. *



*Hmmm, no wonder you have such a hard time with women, your sweet little nanny definitely did a number on you when you were five. And you never told a soul¡Kpoor thing, fighting it on your own, this will be so much fun to use against you in our games. *



Despite himself, tears of blood fall from his eyes, he tries to hold back the inferno of emotions that he keeps locked in him, but he can¡¦t. The barriers he put up are cracking; he puts his head down and covers his face with his hands. Even all alone down in the tunnels, he feels he has to put up a strong face, to be the voice of reason, he doesn¡¦t want the people that depend on him, to realize that deep down despite all his unholy powers, a spark of humanity survives in him.

< I tried to hide it from the world. This happen before she became an international supermodel, back than she was just slowly making it big. Mom¡Kshe had just accepted a yearlong contact with top designer clothing line in Paris, the contact stated she had to live in Paris for the year. Grandpa and Grandma were retired, taking the trip across the country in a RV, they had already left by the time mom got her contact¡Kso mom got advice from a friend about a nanny willing to stay at home alone a child for a year¡KMom was in a hurry, this was chance of a life time, she couldn¡¦t just past it up, there was a quickie interview and SHE was hired.

*Connor, honey, I know I promise to spent more time with you, but you know that this is very important. I know you understand how important me having a job is, so meet your new nanny, Ms Janie Smith. She will take good care of you, while I am gone. Bye honey, love you. *
Mom gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and was gone. In her defense this was the opportunity of a life, this actually really jump-started her career, so if she stay we would have never lived as well as we did. And within the hour¡KSHE took over, SHE, I remember SHE had really curly Muppet hair and was always had giant smile on HER face, I always found it a little scary, so much teeth showing and always the face, it never went away¡Kand when SHE¡Kthe smile got even bigger¡Kand also SHE always had lollipops in HER breast pocket, SHE sometimes even made me take them out the pocket for HER¡KAt first it started out as nothing noticeable, SHE would at bath time scrub really hard especially in particular places and SHE would rub me all over with lotion, I mean literally all over¡Kbut than it started getting really strange, SHE would want model in particular clothing so she take pictures; sailor suits, swimming trunks¡Kat first it seem fun, mom used to take me to some of her shootings, and I would see mom doing dress-up in front of the camera all the time, but than SHE would scream and slap me if I didn¡¦t pose as SHE wanted. After that SHE wanted to breast feed, saying how all good mommies did this, and if I didn¡¦t suckle, SHE would tell mommy that I was being bad and it would worry mommy very much. I didn¡¦t want to worry mommy, I knew she was under a lot of stress, I use to hear her late at night on the phone with her agent, it always seem she was trying not to cry. So I did, as SHE wanted, I suckled at her breasts, I don¡¦t want to know why SHE was able to breast feed, according to the resume that mom had ¡¥Janie¡¦ was single and childless. A lot of other things came up that I had to do or I would be ¡¥punish,¡¦ either I be put in a timeout in the closet, SHE would tell mommy that I¡¦m being bad, no dessert, or a long list of other things. SHE only would physically hurt me, if I didn¡¦t pose right, but soon HER ¡¥friends¡¦ came over, they were all female but they loved playing dress-up with me and touching or kissing me on the cheeks, forehead, sometimes tummy or bottom. I felt so uncomfortable around them, I just turn five, mom had wanted to wait a year, before sending me to school, she had asked ¡¥Janie¡¦ to start tutoring me on my ABC¡¦s, so be ready for school, so all alone no one to help me.

This went on for months, almost the whole year¡KUntil finally I was saved, Grandpa and Grandma took a detour on their cross country trip, to visit me, at the time ¡¥Janie¡¦ had locked me in the coat closet for some reason I don¡¦t remember, it seem SHE also left me alone so SHE could go shopping. Grandpa and Grandma had a key to the place, so let themselves in, and imagine their surprise when they opened the coat closet door to find their only grandchild curled up in ball shivering on the closet floor. Once Grandma got me into her arms and Grandpa searched the place for my nanny, it turns out Grandpa also asked the doorman how long the nanny has been gone, it seem that ¡¥Janie¡¦ went out two hours before my grandparents came. When ¡¥Janie¡¦ did come back, SHE faced the fury of my Grandma; I have to say not all my righteous fury comes from Ollie, the only reason Grandma didn¡¦t press criminal charges was it would have to explain why mommy had left me in the hands of a incompetent nanny, while Grandma couldn¡¦t press charges, she did everything in her power to get ¡¥Janie Smith¡¦ blacklisted as a nanny. My mom rushed home when she found out my grandparents had found me all alone locked in the closet, she felt so bad about that, that I couldn¡¦t bring myself to tell her the rest.

No, that isn¡¦t the truth I didn¡¦t tell them the rest, because I so ashamed. I kept it a secret to hide my shame. For years I hoped they false memories, they can happen, a child molestation that never happened but still you have a memory of it. But it did happen¡Kyears later, I looked HER up, it turned ¡¥Janie Smith¡¦ was alias and HER real name was Anne Hectors, SHE was actually put on the pedophile watch list, five years after what happen to me, apparently SHE did what happened to me, to two six year-old twin boys, SHE was babysitting and the mother caught HER red-handed. >

Connor slowly gets up from the bench, it pass dawn now, Trigger and the orphans will be worried, he¡¦s been gone for two days now. In blink of an eye, he is in the orphanage kitchen, the TV is on and Trigger is standing next to the TV his arms are folded with a blank look on his face.

\Update, police have just found the corpse of a Caucasian female in the dumpster behind the county jail, it unconfirmed whether this is Lori Walker or not, but sources say that on the wall by the dumpster written in blood was ¡¥Justice has been Served.¡¦ Polices have not issued a report, yet. \

¡§Con, I understand why you did it, but you know that what you did goes against everything you taught me. And what about suspects, huh? Who do you think the cops going to go look for, first, huh?¡¨

¡§I¡¦m sorry, Trigger, but the father was with the DA at the time of death, so he has a solid alibi, even DA tries to make it seem like the father killed her to silent her testimony, I have sent a copy of what transpire between the DA and Lori Walker to all the Supreme court judges in the state. They will soon see, what kind of monster the DA is. As for what I did, I know it was not justice¡K¡¨

¡§Con, damn it, you of all people know the rules of being a super hero, why did you go this far?¡¨

¡§Alright Trigger, sit down, I will tell you, will you a secret. It happened a long time ago, in another life time¡K¡¨

-Owari



-So, what do you think? I know some of it was a little cheesy and maybe a little overdone, but overall what did you think?

-Yes, I know that most of my female characters are a bit on the psycho side, but this is not female bashing. (Guess, in case you can¡¦t figure it out, that I am female, this isn¡¦t about bashing cause it¡¦s like bashing myself as well as the rest of my gender.) I want people to be aware males aren¡¦t the only ones capable of dark intent and violence.

DC has been letting this theme of female perpetrators surface over the years, examples; Mist impregnating herself with Jack Knight¡¦s baby when he was knocked out and Impulse¡¦s male friend who was being physically abuse by his mother. I choose Connor to be the victim of sexual abuse from female perpetrator because I think he would make a better person to use as oppose to Riven from Winx Club. Originally I flirted with the idea of using Riven, because his mother sold him away when he was young and he now dislikes females, but than I thought if I added this kind of abuse to his childhood, I would really crush the guy. Connor on the other hand, he has always been stated to be very shy with girls, at first understandable cause he was raise by monks, but than again he¡¦s been out in the real world for ¡¥three or so¡¦ years (with comics, the years are all over the place) and he still isn¡¦t comfortable. There has it to be more reason for his shyness with ¡¥the ladies¡¦ than just being a monk or being possibly gay. Connor¡¦s mom Moonday is kind of fruitcake, she is flighty and doesn¡¦t seem to realize her husband is trying to kill her son and his friends, so it wouldn¡¦t be too far out that she doesn¡¦t realize there is sexual abuse going on, especially if it¡¦s a woman doing it. So it¡¦s easy to say that Connor¡¦s childhood anything could have happened and he could easily block it cause it was too painful or lie about it in order to protect his mom¡¦s somewhat fragile view of the world. (Plus it¡¦s easier to example why he was still a virgin, female molester wasn¡¦t able to sexually penetrate him.)

The young adult male is actually the statically the biggest category of victims, when you include gang violence, assault, battery, etc¡K But most of the time we overlook that statistic and only think of sexual assault crimes, which they only make give or take ten percent of, and most of the time unreported. (So it¡¦s actually ironic, the young adult males feel the most invincible of all the age groups, when they are the most like to become the victim of violent crime.)

Not that I¡¦m saying that women are completely out of harms way, it¡¦s a fact we are more likely victims of incest or sexual abuse in childhood, as well as rape in adulthood. As oppose to males who are more likely to be victims of physical abuse, and in their teenage years assault or battery (mostly gang related).

-So to conclude my mad ranting, please review. I so hunger for them^_^;;

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