Sunday, April 17, 2005

   "The flowing tears are already withering,blood from starving loneliness"
"Copellia's Coffin" from Noir

Hello all!

How is everyone? At the time being I do't feel so well. I don't know why though. Its quite odd. This week I had the S-test. 4 hours for 3 days stuck in the same class room with the same people and its all for placement fo next year. I'm probably gonna be put in a some what of a lower level of "Special Education" because I am dislexic and I have a some what of speach imparement. I can't say some words right and some times its hard for me to sound out long complicated word as it is for evry one else. Also I speak little bit too fast. yet I'm very bright and inteligent, or so people tell me so. I hate being juged. I feel that its not right and unfair. Because what if a cat wanted to be a dog. So the cat truly thought he was a dog and was shunned by the other cats and dog becuase the cats thought," Oh what a silly confused cat! He thinks hes a dog! Hes weird!" And the Dogs thought," Oh how stupid! A cat wanting to be a dog! Did you ever hear of such a thing!?" And the cat feeling depressed and thinking," Oh, no one excepts me. They just laugh beacuse I am a cat with the soul of a dog. I wish I was never here." And one day an odd dog come up to the depressed cat and said," Hello! I hear your the cat that wants to be a dog. Well I want to be a cat so lets be friends! I'll be the cat and you can be the dog.Okay?" So they beacome best of friends finding the place they fit in best was with each other, yet deep down the yeared to be like all the others.......they wanted to be "normal".

I hope you enjoyed that little story. I guess thats kinda how I feel ^^;;;; I feel like the cat with the soul of a dog. I try and try again to be a big tuff dog and yet I am just a fluffy little cat. I guess you could say I am waiting for the Dog to come and find me and take me to a place where I fit in just right.

And this is the mind that you get from a segrigated skool. I'm in what they call " The Wing" thats only for special education students and then theres "Main Stream", where students with inclass suport and regular classes go. In the wing we even have a different princepul. My skool is just fucked up.

What else I have a whole deck of card, hand drwan and I am one for detail, due on monday.And I've gotten new glasses and I look like a geek with them on. and I've been getting really bad head aches lately.I get them at the most random times too. It just hurts to much that I almost collapse in pain. And I don't want to go back to the nuraologest. Because she said that if the medicine didn't work( oh she gave me seasure(sp) medison **Toplamax** ) And she knows I don't have seasures or a brain tumor.Anyway back to what I was saying if I go back there and tell her the meds didn't work, she said that shes sending me to s shrink. And I made a promas to one of my friends that I'd never go to a shrink. And I just don't want to be a ginne pig that everyone watches in the petsho[p window and keeps an eye on. I don't want to be poked at or given anything. I'd reather just live with this crippeling pain.

Yeah my favorite saying comes to mind.

" Life sucks"

Well I'll just leave you all with random stuff......

~Confused Cat~

Waiting....
falling
wondering.....
Falling with a presious dream in arm
in hand
in mind
in heart
Infacuaded with the dream that lingers yet never stays
I never want it to go away
Like a shard from a angel's tear
In my wound
it never heals
I feel the pain
oh how it burns
Won't the pleasure take its turn?
To feel
to heal
with out a heart
whats left to steal?
My mind
my soul
My feelings are out of control
To love
or to fear
Why won't this confusion dissapear?
This question is like a spear that injures my mind
In pain
what feeling should I claim?
Love
hate
fear
Yet you don't want me to shead a tear
Yet I still tremble in fear
Why me?
How did.....
Thoughts are confused
and I regret what I thought
And my feelings
are what they are not
I am the curious cat that tugs at your boot strap
I want to know
Know the answers
Know the lies
What keeps you tied
Tied to this lilttle black cat that pesters your time

What Type Of Goddess Are You?::Female Anime Pics:: by angel_drifter
Name/Username:
Favorite Place:
Astrological Sign:	AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces
What You Look Like:
What Type Of Goddess Are You:	Goddess of Secrets
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Generate your Anime Style by Jena-su
Name:
Hair:	In a style so odd, it defies all laws of physics.
Clothes:	School boy/girl uniform.
Powers:	Summoning
Special Features:	Elf ears
Sidekick:	Your best friend.
Attitude:	Cool, calm, and collected. You rarely lose your composure, so when you do, it's pretty amusing.
Weapon:	Slingshot
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What would your Anime life be like? by hearthlight
Name:
Gender:
Your looks:	Lot's of leather.
Your best friend:	Someone no one else can see.
Your powers:	Everything.
Your beloved:	A valiant hero.
Your occupation:	Minion of evil.
Your ending:	The manga was better.
Quiz created with MemeGen!

the manga was better, Wow ! Thanks batman! (says sarcastically)

Be An Anime Character by mangacatgirl
Character Name
Eyes	Purple
Hair	Big Red Afro
Fashion Style	Battlegear
Attitude	Crazy
Role	Random Background Person
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Can someone say "Excel Saga"

Blind date with a hot anime guy ^.^ by Originality
Name
Age
Lucky Number
Favorite color
Date ===
Where the date is	Video arcade
First thing date says to you	"Im STARVING how bout you?"
Last thing date says to you	"Sorry about the fire"
Quiz created with MemeGen!

TT_TT I wouldn't be able to hug him....and hes one of my Fav characters too!

Your Anime Stalker by taka
LiveJournal username
Favorite color
Weather outside now
Anime Stalker	Tasuki
How many days?	127
Status of stalker	you scared him/her off
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What Does Your Inner Anime Character Look Like? (For Girls) by Rose Lover
User Name
Age
Height
Fav. Colors
Fav. Anime Show
What you look like
Role	Damsel in distress
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Anime Bishounen Match by c_chan
LJ Username:
Age:
Favorite Number:
Your Match:	Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho)
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What Is your anime Picture by vegasama
Name Or Username
Gender	MaleFemaleWouldn't u like to know?
Favorite Color or thing
birthday month	Jan.Feb.MarchAprilMayJuneJulyAugustSept.Oct.Nov.Dec.
Image
Anime Personality	Weird
Quiz created with MemeGen!

YAY! I'm Rabien Rose!

What kind of anime charater do you look and are like? by chipmunkie
Name
age
hair color	long blonde
eye color	red
weapon of choise	wands
your pet	tiger
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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