Monday, December 1, 2003

The Offences of Ogres: Chapter 3 Orcolph Hitlar
Heres chapter 3. If you have any queations related to The Offences of Ogres please let me know

Meanwhile at the Prison for Evil People: You’ll never find a place with more evil people!

The maximum-security wing is for the worst people in the jail. You would have a better chance of finding a Trillion gold coins on the floor in a poor house than escaping from the maximum-security wing. Although some found 999,999,999,999 gold coins in a poor house once…

Orcolph Hitlaar was the most secured in the whole prison. He had managed to get the orcs and goblins to wage war on the dwarves, made Red Arrow hospital service start a brutal army of punished and get the members of Frontboulevard Elves to reform their group.
That was only 1/200th of his criminal record and it’s believed that it’s only 1/50th of what crimes he actually committed. He was finally captured after a bloody battle with his bank manager who said he took out all of his money to buy the pop band D-rings 7. Hitlaar said he didn’t and the money was stolen. The D-rings 7 where found in Hitlaar’s mansion. Their performances were not acceptable thus they were brutally slaughtered.
Hitlaar was forming a plan to escape. He had thought of ways to get past the 13 enchantments, 45 barriers, 9 charms, 84 spells, 19 walls, and 50,000 soldiers armed with powerful weapons and armour and who knew 4 yellow magic spells, 1 brown, 2 green, 13 white and 25 black. The only problem now was the old man at the entrance.
Know it may seem laughable that the only thing Hitlaar couldn’t get past but this manwas quite special. His name is Harry. His full name is actually Harold Harbinsonson Manerworth Crim’sson Warebearton the 2nd. He’s a psionic. As soon as anyone tries to escape they get in 5 miles of him and then they run back to their cell and become a model prisoner (a good prisoner not one made out of plastic (or wood. or clay. Or whatever).
Hitlaar had thought and thought of ways to get past the old man. But, alas, he couldn’t. So he did the obvious; he tried to escape anyway. After he got past the last guard (we won’t go into how he got past everything.) he made his way to the exit.
They say a psionics mind is so powerful, that they can kill someone in their sleep without thinking about it or knowing it. But the thing is Harry wasn’t asleep, he was dead. The doctors spent weeks trying to work out how he died and then they finally realised that he had a knife fully impaled into his back.
So Hitlaar walked out like an orc walking out of the Prison for Evil People. He was very happy. Well I guess anyone would be happy if they escaped from prison. Now that he was free he was about to hatch an evil scheme. Then he thought he didn’t like eggs so he decided to launch an evil scheme but that reminded him of his fear of hights. ‘I know’, he thought in his Orc-like brain (most likely an Orc brain) that he would release his evil scheme. Now he had to get to Harofeld, the grand Ogre watch –im-a-thing is today…
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