Friday, January 28, 2005

Part 2: Unknown story
She couldnt believe it at first. Shugo had done the very thing she thought in the back of her mind that he was doing.. but with someone she didnt think of.. Rizuka. After she had layed on the couch with him the other night.. after she had planned to kiss the guy.. While she was gone out somewhere, he got friendly with Rizuka. And that drew the line. Soto was so furious the minute she heard what had gone on between the two. She talked it over with Lira for a while and then decided she couldnt take it anymore. She went outside to train, several laps around the house and then layed back on the driveway. She star gazed a while and then started talking to herself. "once you get to facing the darkness.. its not that scary anymore.. the leaves across the road become familiar sounds.. the dog howling becomes peaceful.. the sky rumbling becomes soothing.. and everything around you even the shadows seems.. harmless" she always talked to herself when she needed to get things out. if it got bad enough she'd cry it out. after talking to yourself, or crying, things always seemed better.. like you'd just talked to a friend.. and that was good because soto didnt like getting her mad emotions out by talking to a friend.. she got grouchy enough to start a fight when she was mad like this. After a while she got up and headed back inside. When she reached the computer shugo was still away. "beter not come back either.." she mumbled in her head. Thats it, she had decided to give up on men. She hated them as anything other than friends. She was sick of seeing boys and girls holding hands in the hallway she thought she had it.. she thought kevin was it she thought she had it finally finally she had it. love. she was sadly mistaken.. she couldnt take it anymore.. she took the laptop in her room away from her sister.. she wanted to cry.. she wanted to shrivel up.. she never wanted love to find her again. She talked to Lira a while and they faught over how Soto wanted to give up on love.. she started crying hard.. into her pillow and when she couldnt stop she turned on her grandma's music box and it calmed her down.. she was so happy Lira was there.. at that moment she was hugging Lira and then.. She remembered that shugo was still there. She was confused between hatred and the gentle words of her friend. She sat there in bed talking to Lira she wished she could tell shugo she was sick of all the fake relationships but.. she didnt want to hurt him.. as badly as she wanted to be mad at him she still didnt have the nerve to yell at him. Over all of that.. she still couldnt bring herself to yell at him. she'd only had a fight with him once in the time she'd known him. And that was over when he started to stop believing in yio, she got mad at him. The urge to yell at shugo was growing. But she couldnt bring herself to do it. She was never really used to yelling at him.. the picture in her mind of an innocent sad face saying "what..? what did i do wrong..?" she couldnt stand it. She wanted so badly to fight him too but it was too much for her heart to bare to do. She tried to explain this to Lira and she suggested to calmly tell him about it but soto just couldnt do it without causing a fight. she didnt even want to talk to shugo. she couldnt. Finally she realized that he was not only treating her wrong.. but treating rizuka wrong. she blew a fuse then and decided to talk to shugo. She yelled at him after he'd said that he just wanted to pick who he liked. But.. the part came up now that was the reason she hated yelling at her friends. He started making sense, the reason why he couldnt choose between her and Rizuka. He had trouble getting girls in the real world because he didnt have courage enough.. or so he said. Explaining that online it just hit him and he could go all out without them seeing him or making opinions.. Soto felt guilty. again. For even thinking of yelling at him. Now she wanted to shrivel up for a different reason. Sleeping wasnt gonna be easy that night.. She decided to wander outside again. She had allready logged back off without waiting to hear a goodbye from Lira. She needed time to think.
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