Saturday, February 5, 2005

   Part 8: Unknown Story
Later that night.. soto had the worst nightmare of her life. But it was real. It all started out with a simple chatroom conversation. With rizuka, her other friend kotoshi, shugo, and herself. They started up a fight about how both kotoshi and rizuka wanted shugo. soto chose to stay out of it, she tried to stop a few of the fights that got out of hand. so did shugo, but they werent of much help. or rather, they seemed to pay more attention when shugo said to stop than when soto said anything. Now by the end of it, soto was pissed at kotoshi because she was saying it was shugo's fault. And then when the truth she knew was coming, slipped out of kotoshi's mouth.. soto couldnt help but let out to look for a place to hide. After talking with rizuka for a little.. kotoshi said that shugo was just nervous but he had wanted to ask rizuka out. soto was so happy that he loved rizuka, she had wanted rizuka to be happy. but then.. an empty feeling struck her. and she couldnt help but feel like she would cry. She went ahead and logged off, put her shoes on qiuetly and left outside. It was freezing but at first she didnt mind it. She sat there talking to herself for a while gazing up at the stars and clear dark blue sky. and then the tears came rolling in. The empty feeling had her surrounded by all sides of her heart and she couldnt escape it. She cried hard for nearly an hour. Out on that cold driveway, shaking and whipering looking like the most pathetic person. By the end she swayed from side to side gently and singing a slow song in a trembly soft voice. "ill take my chances.. p-peace and time.. while wr-writing the book.. for all t-to see.. on my own i can ride the winds of change to heel a broken heart... a broke-.. broken world.." her voice had began to stop trembling so much as she tried to calm herself down. The pain she felt hurt so much. where the pain had suddenly shot from.. she didnt know. she knew this was coming, that he would love rizuka. but her heart just didnt seem to accept it. but now that she knew.. it was all over for these strong moments.. it was all over.. she'd sit out there crying looking so pathetic.. she didnt think she ever wanted to talk to him again he had rizuka, what was the point? she'd only cry more if she talked to him. Finally the shakeing and coldness of the air got to her and she weakly stood up and walked back inside. Her legs were still trembly but she had finally stopped crying. A few sniffles there, but only because she'd caught that by being outside too long. Her arms shook as she played her video game and she kept messing up her shaking hand would move the stick too far or the wrong way. She was frustrated, and blindly not thinking about her actions. She tried to calm down again. Logged on, and rizuka had allready gone to bed. shugo was still logged off. and Lira had been gone for several hours, obviously fallen asleep. Soto had been getting really frustrated lately of how every night Lira would fall asleep on her because she'd not gotten enough sleep the night before. Lira was way too stubborn. Soto felt her cold hands, and cold pants from lying on the cement outside. As much as she tried to calm down she couldnt and she figured that was because of shugo.. not the cold.. She had simply taken in the thought that he'd choose rizuka, she hadnt accepted the thought in her heart. Earlier her sister told her that she should let him go. and she wished she had listened now. shugo had allready made his decision, whether or not he was telling soto. And as much as she said to shugo or Lira about how she didnt want shugo to like her.. aparently, her heart had thought different. But sometimes she wished there was no heart, then this pain wouldnt be filling up it as fast as rushing water down falls. "lifes not over.. its okay.. im okay" she kept thinking to herself but it didnt seem to calm down her emotions. they were so jumpy and making her shake and want to cry more but she couldnt force any more tears from her eyes. she had allready soaked her arm in the process of crying earlier.. which had'nt helped her feel any warmer out there.. Hopeing it would blow over by morning, she turned back to her video game. She couldnt sleep, or she'd have nightmares.
Comments (0)