Saturday, February 5, 2005

   Part 9 : Daydreaming of You.
The next morning she had had the same dream for the second time, she could barely remember what it was. someone.. she forgot who.. was helping her with something and braught her to this dim-lit building with several doors and scratched up walls in it. He told her to go to the white door for help and on her way up to the white door she would see a faded red one that was in bad shape and then she woke up. Somehow she thought it had something to do with getting help to get over shugo.. she had remembered the dream better right when she awoke. But sleeping till 2pm.. she sort of forgot. Now getting agrivated because the computer wouldnt let her log in or get on the internet. Maybe there was a reason she wasnt sapose to be on.. maybe god was keeping her from be logged on when shugo or rizuka, one or the other, told the other that they loved him/her. If that was the case, she didnt mind. " of all the nightmares.." she thought. "this must be the worst.. i think i actually loved shugo.. otherwise.. why would it hurt so much to give him up.." she thought and layed back on the pillow. "somebody wake me up. from this nightmare." she had said outloud staring towards the ceiling. no one came. no one was there to help her get out of this. rizuka and kotoshi were fighting over him and crying their hearts out when they didnt even know soto had loved him too.. Lira, she knew.. but no one knew that shugo had been the first soto had really and truely loved. she didnt cry when she broke up with arishi. she didnt cry when she found out the boyfriend after arishi was cheating on her and she dumped him.She'd never cried over a guy before. only been mad about the break-up. but she wasnt mad about shugo.. she'd known arishi for a year when she broke-up with him. and then her other boyfriend she hadnt even known a week before his sister told soto he had 2 other girlfriends. and he had begged soto to go out with him. called her "baby" and stuff before she found out he wasnt telling her everything. She was so mad at him she blocked him, never picked up the phone when he called, never talked to his sister when she tried to get on the conversation of him. she just completely quit talking to him. But it was different with shugo. everything was. for one.. she didnt like this guy because she just wanted a boyfriend, someone to comfort her.. no.. it was more than that.. she really loved this guy. and she couldnt help thinking how rizuka could after knowing him only 2 months. or kotoshi. She had introduced kotoshi and rizuka to shugo and here they were fighting over him and flirting. she never liked all the fighting.. she could barely watch the flirting.. she just stayed out of the way, stayed qiuet and rarely spoke unless they started fighting. soto, before, had watched some shows with her sister about maybe 5 or 7 girls and one guy in a sort of contest to see who got the guy. they'd fight and fight and make rude comments to get another to back down and it got real bad.. thats exactly how this was going too. and she refused to take part in a contest. she wouldnt flirt with any guy that made her friends mad, no matter who the guy was. she'd just sit there and try not to watch when it came to kissing because it sent a rock at her chest, or seemed to. just seeing that. And as much as she felt rock-hard pain against her chest then.. the hurt was so much worse when she finally accepted that shugo would ask rizuka out.. but it was selfish to hope that he'd choose her over someone else.. and she had wanted rizuka to be happy, didnt she? she had said that but i guess never really accepted it when it came to loving shugo. And now she was thinking about him this much and lying around like a love-sick puppy." how pathetic.." she thought.
Comments (0)