Saturday, February 5, 2005

   Part 10: dealing with it.
Soto went outside later to find a relaxing place, she went down by the creek and scooted across the pole tat led across the deep part of the creek. She layed down listening to the soft trickle of water over rocks flowing down past her. It eased the pain a little. She looked down and saw a baseball that had gotten caught up in the group of twigs gathered under the pole, it was signed by a baseball player. she didnt care much for baseball but she picked it up. Looking down at the creek again and sighing she reached for the water and braught her finger around in it, making a soothing design of small waves. She sat up and braved the thorns all along the path, going back up the leaf-covered hill to her house. She stepped inside and tossed the baseball down to her puppy after examining it and washing it off. " You can have it. " she told him, and headed back upstairs to the computer room. She logged on her screen name that no one knew about, shugo wasnt logged on but lira was there. waiting for her again. She logged back off and played her video game a while, just wasteing time away. Thinking about all of the stuff she needed to get done this weekend. she had her science projest due wedsnday and a social studies test tuesday. as well as a math test. she also had to get her friend that present, it was a week past her birthday. she'd been so busey with school she forgot all about it. "sun of a gun" came playing on her game as the replay had been going for 15 minutes. she changed it back to something else, all star maybe. "heh, yeah the shrek one" she said to herself. She was home alone again, because her mom was at work and her sister and dad were at a tennis tournament. her dojo was having a kickboxing match in one hour.. she would miss it but she didnt care. she'd go next week saterday for some fun. atleast it would get her away from this depressing house. it was so boring with nothing to do but sit there and wonder what to do and avoid thinking or talking about shugo. she kept going outside but it wasnt alot of help, when there wasnt much to do out there either. and she didnt feel like eating anything her stomach felt uneasy right now. she had a late breakfest at 2 and it was 4 or 5 now but she wasnt hungry probably because of the late breakfest. She could go and read her comics. that'd work. but she'd allready read all.. 20 or 30 of them. and the only reason she had so many comics was because she never got any cd's. the only cd she had was a few downloaded anime ones, and simple plan. the rest of it she just listened to on the radio. she enjoyed reading more than she did listening to cd's anyway. sometimes. she was known to read books really fast. her english teacher let her borrow the book they were reading in class, old yeller, when she got annoyed of how slow they were reading it and she finished it that night. once soto got pulled into a book, there was no stopping her. once in the summer she had been reading a book about a horse and didnt like it at first but she got pulled into it so fast she stayed up till 3am and finished it. she was unbelievable when it came to stories, she'd do the weirdest things to finish them. it was the same with comics. now.. thick novels were different. she'd read half and loose time to keep on, then she'd skip a month or so and then take it back up. or gradually finish it over the weekends. "good" she thought. she was beggining to get her mind off shugo. She logged on her other screen name again. Lira was now not at the computer, and rizuka was still gone too. Soto decided she would go find something to do, sitting around here all day wasnt gonna cut it.
Later on, she found Lira had left her a message on s.c., the computer. and wrote her an email. She suddenly missed lira but then.. she didnt want to be hurt again.. and tried not to sign on.. she knew allready, another girl that shugo had been talking about that liked him. kotoshi. but he'd allready chosen rizuka.. and.. soto had cried so hard last night it still hurt. she read out lira's email: "sorry i wont be online tonight (friday) ill be at my friends house." but it was saterday so she'd be online tonight.. "but ill be up late tonight and tomorow.. kay bai bai ja-ne." :: argh.. soto sighed. she for some reason didnt like it when lira said ja-ne. or bai. well.. bai was ok. it just got annoying. she laughed. Also, rizuka had been using some of the words soto used. like "tho'" and "bai" and "srry". i guess everyone had. shugo hadnt. but everyone else did. she got "ja-ne" from her other friend, tsuke, but bai, she'd learned in a japanese book and the others.. she'd just started using because she liked them. it sort of annoyed her when her friends would use her words, because her words were what made her. cuz she liked these words, she thought no one else would get in the habbit of using them. oh well.. she thought. it didnt matter too much. that was the least of her problems. She waited a while, i guess, not knowing what she was waiting for. she kept logging on to see if shugo was on but then she thought.. well, if he did log on, i wouldnt want to sign on then. "Because i dont want to hear anymore about all that flirting and fighting and him loving rizuka." she told herself. She tried to let her mind wander off to something else.. earlier she made potato soup for her grandma who had come over for an afternoon visit. and together, they watched columbo. a clever detective. watched about.. two episodes before and during that time soto's sister and dad came home. by the time the movie was over her dad was asleep and her grandma left, feeling tired. she went back upstairs to the computer after she left. Lira was on. a happy smile appeared on her face as her eyes met lira's screen name. she wanted to talk to lira about last night, about what she'd missed, but she couldnt. and then.. this braught her back to a frown. she still didnt want to get online. i mean, it was stupid to go whining about what happened. and besides.. she sighed and hesitated, deciding to log on her real screen name. She saw other friends of hers on, cloud911 and phil and her sister and kotoshi and tsuke were all on. she wanted to say "hey!!! i missed you!!" something like that, but all she said was "hi." and then when lira apologized for not being there last night all she said was "its allright." lira then asked what soto wanted to avoid.. "so anything happen while i was gone? lol" soto stared for a little bit at her words. "nothin' much.." she replied. she wished they could skip the welcome back conversation and roleplay or something. but lira was typing, what seemed like a long message. soto waited on her. worrying that she had found out about the other night somehow. but no, it was her computer it knocked her off again. " get knocked off?" "yeah." after spending an hour crying and having a nightmare, finding out the first person she had loved was going to ask her friend out.. you'd think she would say more to one of her best friends that hadnt been on the night before. lira began typing again and for a moment, soto thought her computer had froze on her again. it had. this stupid laptop was getting annoying. "sorry.." soto said. " its allright not your fault.. whats the matter? you seem kinda down." "its nothin'.. dont worry." "you better tell me.. lol" "c'mon why do you seem so sad? sry hehe" what soto wanted to say was: im not laughing.. : because she wanted her to quit laughing. it wasnt funny. "ill worry more if you dont tell me ^^ hehe" suddenly soto wanted to log off. just say "its nothing" and sign off. so she did. " are you sure?" lira had time to get out a second before soto logged off. she was too upset to talk about it now. She went back outside.
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