Tuesday, February 27, 2007

"The Birds and the Bees"(The Cencored and Abridged Version) Another Cleverly Disguised Rant!

	ok seriously, this is NOT rocket science people! I might as well break this into parts...sorey about this folks, but a sertain boyfirend of mines irritating ex *cough*kara*cough* is annoying me again How to Empress the Opposite Sex: Do's - Men; just be your self, if that doesnt work then give up, END OF STORY!!! we dont care "who won the super bowl", or how big "it" is. Do Not's - Men; run up to us, belch really loud, then expect us to agknowlage you other then a hard slap to teh face. Do's - Women; be yourself, if they dont like you then they are obviously gay, or you are obviously annoying and clingy Do Not's - Woman; do not tell them your cup size, or that you can deep-throut a Twinkie.... that screams "I WANT TO LOOSE MY VIRIGINITY", or "I HAVE STD'S, AND I WANT TO SHARE" Dating Do's and Don't's: Do's - Men; hold her hand during the movie and complement her on how she looks even if she is the most beautiful girl there. Dont's - Men; DO NOT look at the boob or ass regions of other "hotter" girls that happen to walk by, do it on your own time when you are out of range of the swinging, brick-filled purses. dont sit there and chat on your phone while waiting for your date because you are either early or she is a bit late then give us the one minuet signal, only to talk for 5 more minutes. what are WE supposed to do, we want to look at your eyes but because you are talking on the phone you may think it an invasion of privacy and we cant take out our phones because you have signaled us that you will only be a minuet. so girls like me will beging to do random stuff such as count the skin cells on the back of her hand......or worse...far worse...... Do's - Women; look nice but dont over do the makeup, look natural. Don't's - Women dont tell them how much "less cheap" your last b/f was, it makes the guys feel bad. at dinner dont order the most expensive dish on the menu, if your guy is like mine he's gonna always want to take you someplace fancy with expensive food.... also dont get the cheapest thing either. dont ask them to get you something, it's rude, and makes them feel taken advantage of. How To Respond to A Break Up: Do's - Men; Get over it, face it one of you screwed up. Don't's - Men; FOR THE LOVE OF CRAP DONT STALK HER!!!! it will only get you arrested. and dont stalk her new b/f either. Do's - Women it's ok to cry about it, yes it's gonna hurt, dont let your uncaring father/friends laugh at you... that's why god invented testicles... to be kicked(dont do this really, it's mean) Don't's - Women Dont plot revenge, it's productive time waseted that could be sued plotting ways to blow up the science lab. DO NOT EVER go crying to your ex's current girlfriend begging her to tell said guy that she is still in love him....this is STUPID and WILL ruin a friend ship should there have been one present before the act of stupidity. Stupid "ideas" that dont go over well PERIOD: DO NOT go out and buy BABY clothes for a couple in HS just becasue you know said couple has "done it" trust me, this does not go over well, in fact it will generally result in the giving party being left with loss of hearing and/or unconcience on the floor, and never being spoken to again.

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