Tuesday, March 13, 2007

   Weeeellll??????? (Part2)
...
Whoever's reading that frequently prays, please keep me in your prayers? I have a whole lot of crap in my life that's really starting to bring me down and I barely wanted to smile today... My friends are starting to get worried about me and I don't want them to be upset just because of me, y'know...
1) I somewhat have insomnia (for those of you who don't know-- insomnia is literally when you can't sleep at all).. It hits me on and off and when it does it lasts for days; I've tried sleeping pills and it's not doing me any good- just makes me more tired..
(Alright, these next two are a little odd-- the first one people seem to find humorous and don't think I should really be concerned about it, the other, I guess, seems kinda petty and selfish if you don't pay attention to the whole story..)
2) I have this guy following me around almost everywhere- literally! He's even tried following me into the girl's locker room! Our school goes by block schedule (where we only have four hour-and-a-half-long classes and second block is your homeroom). Well, phys ed is my homeroom and that's where he "came from", I guess I could say. It was kinda like a "You had me at hello" incident... My problem: I like my independence the majority of the time- he likes making ALL of my decisions for me, doesn't let me be alone for more then two seconds, doesn't like it when I talk to anyone but him, and doesn't let me do the simplest task (like flipping a card, for instance). He stares below my face- which REALLY gets on my nerves. I'm one of the few people who can understand him because he mutters a lot and I wish I couldn't- he says the most disturbing and sick things, he curses... I'm really unamused how the only guys that like me a) don't know me or b) are the LAST guys I want to be with because of how they are on the inside (which is really dark and nasty). Yeah, the situation just gets worse and worse every day and I'm getting more and more irritated...
3) I've always been the kinda person who is pretty unlucky when it comes to finding good friends.. I've got 3 friends right now who I love to death! Sure, they're a pain sometimes and confusing as heck, but I've had a LOT worse... Kinda like now.. I'm supposed to have 4, not 3, but the other.. My problem's always been when I meet someone, they'll talk to me and act like we've been best friends forever after a couple months after we met.. Then later they're acting all "I don't wanna talk to THAT. You mental or something???" I trusted this guy who basically promised he wouldn't be like that.. He'd be my friend no matter what, even if we got mad at each other.. Last night on the phone it started out "butterflies and rainbows" (as I usually call it when referring to something good), then he started getting this tone in his voice that screamed he didn't want to be talking to me.. This morning, he treated me like I was completely invisible, after lunch he had the nerve to poke me and act like everything was ok, then once school was over he treated me the same as this morning.. I generally value friendship and promises much higher then you're average teen and I guess you could say I'm like a little 5-year-old about it... The fact that someone who's supposed to be my friend is treating me this way... It's really bothering me...

Alright, well I've written way too much for just one afternoon and I've got a boat-load of studying to do for mid-terms tomorrow. Laterz!

~Saelah,
Maiden of the Moon
Comments (0)