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myOtaku.com: SailorBadGirl


Saturday, October 6, 2007

Speaking of Dreaming
Last night, or this morning rather, I had a dream where Steven was following me around mad, and I kept trying to get him to go away, and all of a sudden, I turned around and asked him if he still loved me. It was like he wasn't mad anymore and started crying, saying yes he did. The entire time Jared was lurking in the background, this look on his face like it hurt him but that he wanted me to be happy - even though neither one of us was sure what it was that would make me that way.

So my friend Jesse told me on Thursday that Steven told her "I'm tired of seeing her with her new boyfriend" and Jesse just started laughing. What does he expect me to do? I broke up with him, my life has to go on sometime, and whether you guys thnk this or not, I'd been waiting long enough. We'd been together two years, right? I'd been waiting since a year and a half... so January of this year. I just was too afraid that he might dosomething to himself. FInally it got so bad I just couldn't do it anymore. My mom agreed with me; which was more important: my sanity or his happiness? And I finally made that decision. The problem is, it still hurts. HOWEVER, it doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did while I was with him. And that is what is important.
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