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• 1990-07-19
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• Female
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• Oregon
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• 2004-12-21
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• Rose Bride
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• Amanda

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• Perfect Attendence
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• Revolutionary Utena
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• To grow my hair out and dye it pink when I'm 16 so I look like Utena
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myOtaku.com: sailorimagination


Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I finally realized it
Everything that was torturing me. Everything I was scared of. Everything that made me feel weak and insignificant was all in my head. I was imagining it. I don't know why, but unconsciously I wanted to feel that way. I wanted someone to have complete control over me. I wanted to be a victem. That's why I imagined Amarie and Evilness and Akio. I would imagine them doing such evil things to me. Am I a freak? Am I crazy? Do I belong in an insane asylum? I cried all night last night, telling myself I was crazy and it was dangerous for other people to be around me. I do not know why I imagined it, but all I know that it was what I wanted. Otherwise, it wouldn't be in my head.

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