Sunday, November 12, 2006

Ameliorating - The Period of Convalescence

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Okay, so I've decided to make another post today. I'm not totally sure why...but yeah. For the few people who read this site, the last post wasn't about any of you. As a matter of fact, I know that the subject doesn't read this site anymore lol. It involved a clash with a friend of mine that ultimately led to severing ties with him completely. But that's not the point, now is it? I just wanted to write because I felt like writing. I suppose I could get into the story of my life as of late. Recently, I've been stressing out, depressed beyond all belief. Things aren't well with me right now, but I know that I'll recover from it. Everything just seems like a lot to me lately. As a matter of fact, I feel pretty bad right now. Maybe this is all karma and the Law of Threefold Return. Who knows? I don't think I've done anything to deserve some sort of otherworldly retribution, but I guess I'm getting it. It's fine, though - I am who I am, yeah? I just...I kinda can't help but feel so low right now. I mean, I'm dealing with school (which is probably where most of my problems stem from), friendships, my relationship, home-life, and, believe it or not, daydreams. Not all of these things are bad, you know - I just think that I'm at a point where I seriously just want to be left alone. I hate dealing with all of this...and I feel like I'm dealing with everything alone. It sucks really bad...I mean, I know I'm not dealing with it alone. I've got my fiancee, my friends (especially Jack and Dante), and I shouldn't feel this way...but life is life, yeah? I will get back up, I promise. In the meantime, there are a lot of things to be happy about. My band PARANOIA finally has a new drummer! Cool guy named Andre who frequents the theater guild has decided to play with us now. So things are well. Not to mention people have been really happy about our acoustic demo, and are starting to take interest. I would like to get it up here, but for some reason, it's encoded as a LAME file. So, if anyone reading this knows anything about converting LAME to .mp3 files should leave a comment...please? Also, my lyrics have been in circulation for a day or two. Well, not really...only some of the lyrics to a few people. But I've been getting a lot of great responses from a lot of unbiased people. I've even had a person call me late last night to tell me how captivated they were by the lyrics, and how upset she was when she'd reached the blank pages. Apparently, I am a good writer. I mean, I knew it all along, but it never hurts to hear it, you know? ^^; By the way, I also wanted to take down that Atreyu song. I think it got the point across, so now I've changed it to something else. A song called "Hold Me Down" by Motion City Soundtrack. I'm not sure why I'm putting it up...I've just been listening to it a lot lately. I also believe that my Otaku posts are far longer than they should be. Will you stop reading? Nope. So, now I'm gonna go. Like I said, I don't feel very well. I've got my voice back...kind of...but I still feel a bit sick, and depressed. Really depressed. So depressed, in fact, if you asked me to explain why, I'd give you some half-assed, obscure, vague explanation like I did above. But I shall be fine, with or without any assistance. Laters.