Friday, November 5, 2004

To My On going Strength
After time we all find, all people can be paper thin
Yes we all have faults and I know we all make mistakes
But that doesn’t mean that those mistakes don’t hurt
I wish they didn’t but believe me they do

I feel sometimes I would be better off alone
At least then I can say I am for responsible
I can’t find an answer to why people hurt people
I have searched so hard to find out
Why has their heart turned out like that?
Do they ever realise what it’s like to be hurt
How can people still do it when they know

I always end up believing that’s its me
Somehow I get confused and think people hurt me cos
I have done things to hurt them
Well NO, I guess last night I found that people are vindictive
When they find someone else is happy or has something good
It’s so sad knowing that deep down no one wants to see you’re happy
Hey! Except your family (and you my on going strength)

You can see annoyance in their heart
And feel their lack of care in their eyes
When you’re happy you’re bragging
When you’re smiling their jealous
It kills any joy you have inside

I think its time I let go
I have my family and my ongoing strength and of course Allah
It’s crazy the best relationships we have is the ones that lay in the heart
The ones that don’t call, you the ones you don’t see
The ones that are always there
Even when you’re alone and sad
The ones that keep you warm when you walk home

I don’t wanna be alone
But I can

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To those we shouldn't love
One day I will have the strength to not even see you
And you will beg like I did for you
I’m going to build myself up so I can break you down
And the world will want to see me
And the world will appreciate me

And my smile will be everlasting
And my joy will bring the house down
But don’t worry loneliness I won’t forget you
When they see me it will be spectacular
They will want to hold on to me so desperately
I can imagine the yearning in their eyes
I can imagine the pain in their hearts
I will control your emotions
Like you all controlled mine

And to my companions
That day I will realise the love you had for me
To get me through these cold days
I will find a way to double it and repay you
Because there’s no more broken hearts for me
And no more sad days for you

I’m sitting in my room
But I’m thinking what I will do next
Not you
Because I’m not think of you tonight

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To those with shouldn't love
A lonely beat flows through my veins
I seem to spend my life looking for you.
The thing that brings my happiness never has.
Though my mind just wants more
Deep down my heart cry’s for it to stop.

When I get the strength to go through
Then they come along and break me again.
I wish the world could see me
I wish the world could appreciate me.

I dress myself till I look so pretty
And wait for just one response of love.
Foolishly I break my heart over you again and again
Have you ever noticed me or thought of me
My thoughts of you are everlasting and desperate.

Do you even hear me?
Have you ever seen me?
I know I can’t wait for you any longer
And I know I will wait here for you forever.

As endless as time, my head spins
Thoughts and feelings bear me down, till I can’t breath
Love is suffocating me
I would tear out my heart and burn my soul
Just to see a sense of joy in your eyes

Although my heart aches and my pillow is full of tears
I would wait here forever
What kind punishment is this?
Regret and desire.

In a house full of love and joy
How can a man feel so cold?
I sit at home alone thinking of what I could of done
And what I should do
But when the time comes you’re not even there

Why must I hate me?
Why can’t I stand me?
Without you, I would love me
Without knowing you, I would respect me
Why must I have you?
Why can’t I have you?
Why do I need you?
Why must you hurt me?
Pick me back up, and break me
Seem to love me, only to hate me

I’m the laughing stock of the world
Yet there is not one, true laughter for me
Only a hundred fake smiles, I wear to please you

Though someday they ill save this tear falling from my face
And so it begins again

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What’s on your mind?
What’s on your mind?
Why isn’t it me
Are you just blind?
Or don’t you wanna see

Don’t you feel my words?
Can’t you hear my heart?

It’s screaming for you
But a small whisper
Steals your attention
What can I do?
You won’t accept my affection

Don’t you like what you hear?
I’m offering my world to share
I’m giving you my dreams and
You don’t seem to care

I just don’t know what to say
Or how to react
It doesn’t seem right
How can you be like that?

You ignore my everything
So why do I call
It’s always been about him
There’s nothing here for me at all

Is it sad what I do?
Cos I feel kinda low
Am I bothering you?
I really need to know

I struggle for a reason
For this game that you play
You try so hard to please him
It’s time to give up and listen
To what I have to say

Look I can’t take anymore
I’m down to my knees
I was strong before
Now I’m begging you please
Get out mind, I’d rather be alone
Than to waste my whole life
Feeling like a thorn

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What's wrong with me
What is it that you want?
Feels like i'm fighting to stay near you
Why do you keep pushing me away?
What is it about me you don’t like?
I have so much to offer and you know that I do
I’m beautiful why can’t you see
Feel like I’m disease when I near you
I know I look like a fool hanging by you
Guess I’m just a clown
Why do I like you like this
Why do I put up with this?
Who is going to offer a love like this?
You won’t find a love as good as mine
But I guess you'll never know
You don’t even want to look my way
Yet when you fall I run to catch you
Starting to hate myself for being like this
Why don’t people care when my tears fall down
No one understands you like I do
I treat you like no other would do
Why are you like this
How can I like some one like this?
Breaks my thinking

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Tuesday, November 2, 2004

ME!!!!!!

Bored? ((Over 100 questions))
Created by xSwtLilAngel666x and taken 44941 times on bzoink!
[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? ::	Rawra
Birthplace ::	England
Age ::	12
Age you act ::	11
Current location ::	England
Eye color ::	Hazal
Hair color ::	Black
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? ::	whaa
Zodiac sign? ::	right!???
Height? ::	tall
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality ::	huh??
Your hair ::	straight
Your fears ::	beat'in in a race
Your perfect room ::	Perfect nothing else
What you practically do in a day ::	School 6 hours and a half,TV 2 hours and half,computer 3 hours,
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse ::	Fuck you
Phrases you overuse ::	uhhh fuck you
Your first thought when you wake up ::	i wish i was sleeping
Your greatest accomplishment ::	i became the 2nd fastest girl
Something you want to do ::	beat bakura up
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke ::	coke
McDonald's or Burger Kings ::	burger king
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera ::	Christina Aguilera by far
Chocolate or vanilla ::	chocolate
Adidas or Nike ::	Adidas by far
Black or white ::	black
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) ::	coins i think
Burgers or hot dogs ::	vege burger
Egypt or France ::	Egypt
Rock or rap ::	rap
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke ::	NO
Cuss ::	yes
Sing well ::	no
Sing in the shower ::	no
Talk to yourself --a lot-- ::	hell yeah
Believe in yourself ::	well sort of i do but never say it
Like taking these longass surveys? ::	HELL NO
Play an instrument ::	no
Want to go to college? ::	yeah i suppose
Want to get married? ::	HELL NO
Want to have children? ::	NOO
Think you're a health freak? ::	na
Get along with your parents ::	no
Get along with your siblings? ::	wha??
Think you're popular ::	yaa
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state ::	no
Drank alchohal ::	no
Smoke ::	no
Get high ::	meaning??
Done any drugs ::	no
Eaten an entire box of oreos ::	no
Been on stage ::	no
Gone skinny dipping ::	no
Been dumped ::	no
Dyed your hair ::	no
Stolen anything ::	no
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest ::	Muzna
Loudest ::	muzna
Most shy ::	naima
Blondest ::	none
Smartest ::	me or muzna
Kindest ::	all three
Best personality ::	me
Most talented ::	me naa all
Best singer ::	all but me
Most ghetto ::	all
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) ::	krista
Pain in the ass ::	krista litrelly
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style))::	none
Funniest ::	muzna
Best person for advice ::	all
Dependable ::	all
Trustworthy ::	they might be a fool sometimes but totally trustworthy
Druggie ::	none
Most likely to end up in jail ::	none
Person you've known the longest ::	Krista
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream ::	Beat'in bakura up
Last nightmare ::	Bakura Beat'in me up
Car ride ::	today
Last time you cried ::	long ago
Last movie seen ::	Spiderman 2
Last movie rented ::	the day after tomorrow
Last book read ::	the call of the wild
Last word said ::	i talk to myself remember
Last curse word said ::	uhh Fuck you
Last time you laugh ::	in school
Last phone call ::	today
Last CD played ::	today
Last song you listened to ::	yesterday
Last annoyance ::	sunday
Last IM ::	none
Last weird encounter ::	none
Last person you hugged ::	kai
Last person you yelled at ::	its more of aa last person yelled at me
Last time you wore a skirt ::	never
Last time you've been evil ::	always
Sarcastic? ::	yaa
Last time you fought with your parents ::	long ago
Last time you wished upon a star ::	a week ago
Played Truth or Dare ::	long ago
Spent quality time alone ::	everyday
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM ::	naa
Do you feel lonely ::	yaa
Ever TP'd someone's house ::	whaa
How about egging someone's house ::	yesterday
Do you not like dislike not like me? ::	no
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? ::	i like their songs
Yo Momma ::	yaa
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? ::	no
What do you think of George Bush? ::	he is a total motherfucker
Any secret fetishes? ::	whaa
Do you like to wear chains? O_o ::	yaa
How many languages do you speak? ::	4
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! ::	yeah man
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) ::	HELL YEAH
Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

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   What Type of Anime Angel are You

You are a Death Angel. One of the rarest ones of
all. Death Angels are usually mixed up with
Dark Angels,but they aren't the same kind of
angel. Death Angels,belive it or not,are very
vain and can get jealous easly. They are also
murderous and love seeing people suffering or
in emotional pain. Death Angels are either in
the mortal world,picking people they want to
kill or in Hell with Satan. They would kill
somebody just for the fun of it.


What Type of Anime Angel are You? For Girls only. With lovely anime pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

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What Different Element Are You

You are Balance. The Balance Element is the balance
between Light and Dark. Balance was created
when the two Elements,Light and Dark,where at
battle and threw their Dark and Light magic at
eachother at the same time. Coliding with the
magic,Balance was born. Balance keeps track of
her creators,making sure there is an equal
amount of Light and Dark in the world. Being
made up of two elements,Balance's mood changes
rapidly. Being Balance,you have both Elements
inside of you,meaning you are a moody person.
Sometimes social and sometimes anti-social.
Your Elements would be Light and Dark. And your
creature would be a werewolf! Congrads! You're
the Balance between Light and Dark! ^^


What Different Element Are You? For Girls only! Lovely Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

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You are Winter!!! You are cold like... ICE
CREAMS!!!


Are you Spring, Summer, Auntum or Winter? [ WITH BEAUTIFUL ANIME PICKS!!!]
brought to you by Quizilla

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   HOW are you TODAY?

You are... SCARED!!! BBUUUU!!! Have you seen a
ghost or something? You are white as a sheet!
Go put some base on, PLEASE!!!


HOW are you TODAY? [anime picks^^]
brought to you by Quizilla

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