Thursday, June 8, 2006

another look back at my rant, and some other stuff
ok, you remeber my mask analogy from my last blow-up right? well ive been thinking about it and ive decided what i was really trying to get at is more of a "deeper than you know" sorta thing, rather than a false face. am i making sense? its like i wear a smiling face, but im more than that. i think i may actually be happy, but everything around me says " how can you be happy? you have no girlfriend, your in highschool, your broke!" but i think for the most part i am a happy person. i was reading a little on chakras and i think for the most part they are in balance. im doing my next drawing based on that mask concept. ive already got a doodle of it, i just need to refine it and move it to good paper.

ive ben reading up more on religion and i dont know if i can get into the entire wicca culture and emerse myself in it, but i love the message and some of the mysticism it presents. really alot of these earth religions tie into eachother. chakras from the east, spirit guides from native american culture, european astrology, crystals and elements and everything! it all seems to go together ansd ive always felt strong draws to that sort of thing. i dont know if i believe ONE religion at all. alot of ppl think its pagan (which it may be, im totally sure) and they associate pagan with the devil because that was ingrained in ppl since the early days of the catholic church. i dont know much, but i know what im drawn too and that its not evil. i do believe in spirits, but do not worship them. i do believe in powers and energies, but am not a spell caster, i do believe in magick, but am not a witch or wizard or warlock or whatever you wawnt to call it. i guess perhaps i have hesitations about throwing mysdelf whole-heartedly into a religion because my family has not been at all consitant with it. i suppose i am a bit of many things. i believe in jesus christ but also in the teachings of buddha as well as spirits and energies. so waht does that make me? is there a name for it? does it need a name? i tolorate all views as long as they are not forced upon me. i supopose you could call me a dabbler. i don know, im still trying to find myself out. its a bit of a confusing time to be alive in this day and age, it may also be just the stage in life im at. i hope i can figureout and dont just end up in the rat race. no, i dont hope, i know it wont happen. i wont let it!

ok, enoug drama and deepness, now onto teh shallow and petty stuff: MY LITTLE SISTER IS EVIL!!! right now she has 2 friends spending the night. she's bad enough when she has one friend! so she was demanding that i set up the DDR game after i was watching tv and had moved to the cmputer, and i simply said no. no yelling, no getting mad, just a cold no. then i sat down and told her to figure it uot herself. my mom got kinda ticked at that because she was onthe phone and my sis came out complaining about it. so she told me to do it and i simply didnt. so when she was done, we talked a bit and she asked what was up and i told her that i didnt fell like helping my sis because she was being bossy and snotty and she treats me like this (poorly) alot and i am sick of it. i was as calm as i could be about it. i knew if i got all emotional or angry, then she would reciprocate it and i could get in trouble. but since i was calm, it worked well and i got what i wanted and my sis got my dad to help when he got home. it all worked out. i should try that more often. getting upset at your parents doesnt work like it does on TV. so really thats about for today.

i also played more KH and right now i am ost and confused in the cave of wonders. i cant figure out how to get into the lamp room! so if anyone who had beaten the game is feeling generous enough to help my out, please pm me. also, i am planning on being able to visit some sites today, but maybe not all of them. it depends on how much time i get with kh. my sister and her friends might be playing DDR or my mom may kick me off after a few hours.

ok, piccy of the day!

look familiar? think FMA...the octogram is actually a celtic symbol used to invoke magick. thats all i know. anyone have anymore info on it?
well, thats it! any questions? CLASS DISMISSED!
*disappears into the tall grass*
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