Sunday, January 1, 2006

A gift
My older sister gave me this today. It's a story of a day we spent together. One memory that I certainly cherish. I didn't realize how much it had effected her though. It's written from her point of view.

The Faith of A Child

As I got up, I looked forward to the day. I got up with a song in my heart and a smile on my face. Today my little sister and I were going to go to a Tongan baptism.

You see, my little sister has been a member of the LDS church all her life, I was adopted though when I was 14. It's been two years now and I am interested in her church. She is such an example of what they teach. I look up to her, even if she is only ten. She is my example.

Together we got ready. I helped Sakerra pick out a dress and since it was a special day, I put some make up on her after doing my own. She looks up to me, I can tell in the way she mimics many of my actions.

We arrived at the baptism at around noon, and I felt weird. Everyone there was speaking Tongan. It didn't even faze Sakerra. She shook peoples hands and listened to the speakers even though she couldn't understand a word they said. There was a beautiful song also sung by two primary aged kids. I admit, my mind wandered. I couldn't understand them!

On the drive home we started talking. I asked her what she thought of it and she looked at me and just said "It was like most baptisms, but the talks were more meaningfull."

That made me stop the car and look at her.

"How would you know?"

She rolled her eyes at me like it was the most obvious thing and said, "I listened. Duh!"

"I couldn't understand a word though. It was all in Tongan." I replied. Yet, I was amazed by how simple she put it. Did she even realize what she had just said?

"Oh." Was all she said to that. She looked puzzeled for a moment and then asked if I would like her to tell me what had went on, and what the speakers said.

I nodded and drove us to a small park near by. For the next hour I got to sit by my younger sister and be taught the gospel.

I learned more in that hour from my little sister than I ever did in my two years of attending or missionary lessons. She taught me the power of simple faith.

It was through her that I learned how powerfull the faith of a child really is. I've never told her this, but that was the confirmation I was looking for before I got baptised. I had prayed for a miracle and I recieved one in the form of my little sister.





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Saturday, December 31, 2005

It's okay again
I love Jordan, I always have, and now he isn't mad at me anymore! I don't know what came over him, but last night he refused to talk to me, and this morning, he came up behind me and litteraly jumped on me and wished me a good day. It's nice to have him back.

I spent most of the day over at his house with him and Mom and she seems to actually be getting better. If she keeps getting better Jordan will probably leave again to go live with his dad. I don't want to loose Mom, but I really don't want Jordan to leave me again either.

Try not to die, because it mildly sucks

~Sakerra
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Thursday, December 29, 2005

Doctors and such
Three different apointments today. I despise doctors. Okay, that's not really fair, I am sure they are just fine people, but I have the touching. I hate people touching me. I can't stand it. Anyway, I was done with all three appointments by 12:30. It really could have been worse. Jordan still isn't speaking to me. That's irritating, but could be much worse. As for now, I have to finnish up a CD for Captain.

Try not to die, because it mildly sucks

~Sakerra
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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Gr just gr
Had a hair apointment today. My parents insisted in re-coloring it and what not. Maybe one day they will realize how little I care and that it's just a waste of time and money.

Y-chan called. She was just worried. We ended up discussing religion, and I think we both see the others view at least a little bit clearer.

Jordan is still mad, which is why today has been so Gr. I can't stand him mad at me. He sits here in my room and refuses to talk to me. It's paranoing.

Try not to die, because it mildly sucks

~Sakerra
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I hurt him....
I was laying in bed last night, and Jordan looked up at me, and could jsut tell something was wrong. I eventually talked to him about what has been bothering me, and he got pissed. I mean really mad. And it hurt me, like a lot. In the 12 years I have known him, he has never gotten mad at me. He has always been the one who held me when I cried. This time, yeah it ended in tears, but he looked at me and then just turned his back. I hurt him through this, yet I doubt he has any idea how much it hurt me to see him do that.

Try not to die, because it mildly sucks

~Sakerra

Captain is calling in two hours though, so I am going to attempt to rest in the mean time.
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Monday, December 26, 2005

Last night
So, for part of my Christmas present my Grandma Charlene gave me my Aunt Lisa's journal. For those of you who don't know, she died when I was seven, and she was by far my favorite Aunt and one of my best friends.

So, I read through all six years of it, and by the end I was in tears. She was almost always so optimistic even when describing a scene where her father (My grandfather) was strangling her brother (My Uncle) and then the questioning by the police. Yet through it all, she ended the entry on a happy note something along the lines of "But it will be okay as long as God is with me."

More than that, as I was reading, I couldn't help but pull out some of the similarities between the two of us, and I was also able to see why my Grandma expects me to act the way she does, and wants me to be someone I am not. She is trying to make me Lisa. It's weird though.

I miss her, like, a lot. Yet, I am not her. When it comes down to it, I did love her, and I do. I was close to her, and yet, she is gone. I am not the only one who needs to realize that she is gone, my Grandma does to. She is never mentioned in conversation and when Grandma gave me the book, you could tell she was close to tears. It's just agrivating to me that it is as if she was never here. And my phone beckons me,

Try not to die, because it mildly sucks

~Sakerra
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Merry Christmas! (and a short introduction)
Hana first showed me this site a few weeks ago with a suggestion I join. At the time I did, and then promptly deleted that account. This one will be more permanent. I will be messing with the backgroud for a while though before I decide on anything, so just be patient with me on that. As is, my grandparents are staying in my room for one more night (they have been here for a week already) and they want to go to bed which means I am being kicked out of my room and off my computer.

Try not to die, because it mildly sucks

~Sakerra
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