Monday, December 26, 2005

Last night
So, for part of my Christmas present my Grandma Charlene gave me my Aunt Lisa's journal. For those of you who don't know, she died when I was seven, and she was by far my favorite Aunt and one of my best friends.

So, I read through all six years of it, and by the end I was in tears. She was almost always so optimistic even when describing a scene where her father (My grandfather) was strangling her brother (My Uncle) and then the questioning by the police. Yet through it all, she ended the entry on a happy note something along the lines of "But it will be okay as long as God is with me."

More than that, as I was reading, I couldn't help but pull out some of the similarities between the two of us, and I was also able to see why my Grandma expects me to act the way she does, and wants me to be someone I am not. She is trying to make me Lisa. It's weird though.

I miss her, like, a lot. Yet, I am not her. When it comes down to it, I did love her, and I do. I was close to her, and yet, she is gone. I am not the only one who needs to realize that she is gone, my Grandma does to. She is never mentioned in conversation and when Grandma gave me the book, you could tell she was close to tears. It's just agrivating to me that it is as if she was never here. And my phone beckons me,

Try not to die, because it mildly sucks

~Sakerra
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