Tuesday, June 15, 2004

   Great lets change this...and this...oh and that
Well, lets see, I haven't told alot people what it wrong with me. And holding in, acctualy feels good, no more do I have to cry. i have found the courage...
BUT i am going to complain about one more thing........WTF!!!!!!1 I LIKED MY YAHOO THE WAY IT WAS! and BOOM LETS JUST CHANGE IT! I HAD TO GO THOUGH A DOZEN THINGS JUST TO GO TO A EMAIL FROM MASON!! tHAT MAKES NO CAKING SENSe!

Okay sorry, yahoo looks weird now...anywho T.T. Not much to say here, Bobby gets back to his Dad's from Hawaii today, and Anne is in Germany...she bought me a manga in German! ^-^

I was looking up at the stars last night, and I noticed that everyone wants me to change.

I am not complaining...but i suppose they are right..it is time for me to grow up. My attitude needs to mature, I just need to. Its a big scarey world out there. ANd i am ready to face it with all my might.

Because now that I am 15 and my dreams and wishes of Duo Maxwell coming for me are over and that Anime...God i love it...I am dedicating my life to the Japanese culture...but I have to keep in mind, That ANime is my thing, but to not let it get in my way. Because its time for me to get ready.......................
any who....not much to say here. Well alot i suppose...cuz this'll be a a paragraph or two. Just remember that I am here for you. I am.....................anyone...i am ready to listen...because thats what I do...and that'll be one thing i shall never change.
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Thursday, June 10, 2004

   Being careful
I need to be careful, i have been online way too much...my family is already getting mad at me...i might have to skip a few days... not being able to use the phone or walk to my friends house. is really killing me, they need to understand that the internet is the only place i have if i am not be given a ride or a choice to talk on the phone...
Whoa, i ramble on forever...they are getting really mad i can tell...but what am i going to do? If i am not online i am on the computer anyways...its my retreat. They all want me to leave them alone...so i do...till they need me i am in my own world.
Making friends everyday, figuring things out, researching.
I even found out what i want to do when i am older.

Its not like i'm doing anything bad anyways...>>...<<...right Kitsune...
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   Being careful
I need to be careful, i have been online way too much...my family is already getting mad at me...i might have to skip a few days... not being able to use the phone or walk to my friends house. is really killing me, they need to understand that the internet is the only place i have if i am not be given a ride or a choice to talk on the phone...
Whoa, i ramble on forever...they are getting really mad i can tell...but what am i going to do? If i am not online i am on the computer anyways...its my retreat. They all want me to leave them alone...so i do...till they need me i am in my own world.
Making friends everyday, figuring things out, researching.
I even found out what i want to do when i am older.

Its not like i'm doing anything bad anyways...>>...<<...right Kitsune...
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Monday, June 7, 2004

   Weird that nothing goes right at the same time....
anywho...nothing goes right all at once....take 9/11 for example...I knew something bad was going to happen and boom...yessi knows the whole story look what happens... But i was having a pretty good day... i was happy for that morning and than it all crashed....
Lately...I have woken up to pains in differnt parts of my body...bruises pop up out of no where, and I have scracths that come and go hours in times....all this is driving me batty...
But..Bobby....
I called his house and his mom asked me to call his dads..so i finally did....and when i did...and bobby got on the phone this feeling eloped me...and i knew something is wrong...
Jessica and Bobby are over...my bestfriend is away from me for a month...in Hawaii for a week and at his dads for the month...(Aiyee! I make alot of dot leaders...Sorry! ^-^;)I should be happy, the two can never date or talk really ever again...i knew this was going to happen, i figured i would be happy that they are over. But what happen with bobby and his step father... it just went too far...way to far..its sick acctually. I was praying to God last night...asking him for guidance...because all my friends lives are so @¨e/$ up that i can't do anything, just sit there and watch as life acts like a monster. Tearing away there hopes, dreams, fantasies, soul, heart and mind. Till there nothing but memories....which sucks in my opinion...element sisters....where are you....why do i feel so isolated...what has happened to the flame? Am i finally lost?....find me....please

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Tuesday, May 25, 2004

   I swear I have been a good girl
Okay so I think I got this figured out.......not much to say, 'cept I suck at DDR...no big lost...alot funner for me to watch...........hm....I called Bobby to just say hi... bored out of me mind..and he read our notebook....and asked me something simple....

He asked me if I loved Mason/Max. I said that Mason is really nice and i have a small crush and of course I love Max, after all he is Sakka's fiancee'.

He asked why I wrote why I don't want to be hurt anymore and I replied hormones... than I told him to tell me.....

and he told me, "I love you Mary." I said not that and he replied, "You still have little respect for me." And I said, "Yeah," so anyways...lalalala lots of probelms, proably will explain more on Xanga.

I hate that we are moving........ Tuesday or Wendesay are my last days here. Which really sucks...really does....... I don't want to move, everyone says, 'Its only a mile, Its only a mile." Its only a mile away from both my sisters, everything is going to be a big mess now.

And now...NOW...I get to spend life with my Grandma...I love them everyone of them...but its going to be terrible.

Why do I have I swear I have been a good girl up? Who knows.......
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   hm............>.
I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!
__________________________________

okay so this is a test sheet, please ingore, i have no idea what the mother finger I am doing so lalalala........
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Sunday, April 18, 2004

   This is so gonna screw up on me...
awwwww...took me forever to set up my account. Well, i am here, but where does this note go? WAhhhhhh! well, if anyone reads this, will someone help me...I am really confused!
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