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I'm at skool, lunch
Just then is double French, we got dictation and I got 0. Again. This is the second time that I got 0. I NEVER got 0, so now I feel so piss off and I'm crying soooo hard...oh no, not physically. I'm not the type to cry out loud and have people comfort me. Ooooohhhh no. This is how I cry, and this is what I'm doing as I type:
-Heartache (not coz bf dump me, not that i have one)
-eyes sorta feel with tears but keep blinking them away
-Wanna kill myself for getting a bad score(I'm obssess)
-Distance myself from everyone
- and have a computer blog to write my feelings down
Serious, everytime I wanna cry but not out loud, I got to my comp, same as at skool. My friends in Australia understands and let me be until I calm down. Hong Kong however, are too stupid to even care about how people around them feel...
They are ignorant to everything except homework...seriously...
And if I fail anymore I'll need to drop a year. From Year 9 to Year 8. Even though my real level is Year 8, I DON'T wanna BE in Grade 8! I wanna be a year faster! Gosh I don't wanna be drop a year...I wanna cry out loud but can't and not at home either coz my mum will just tell me to shut up and try my best revising.
All my HK friends who got a bit of idea about me will just say keep trying...like i'm not. They have NOOO idea what it's like to stay up to 3 am just to revise...try harder? how? No sleep? Wake for 48 hours? Like hell Ill just get worse for no sleep.
I'm perfectly fine with all the subjects except French. I can't take Chinese coz I don't know how to read all the words...so stuff Chinese. And the only other choice is French, so yeah...
Oh yeah I would have put a crying face next to my post but there's none that fits mine, and I can't be bother to make a custom. Yeah.
Any suggestion of how to get a better mark? and like...no fail? Pass mark is 50
And laugh all you want, say I'm stupid all you want, basically I just wanna say this all out, whether verbally or just typing it out. Say whatever you want, Ill check in a moment. Oh yeah, I won't visit all the people's site...especially LordSesshoumaru, coz ur story just make me wanna read more and I won't be able to study...
Quiz 4 all of u:
1. Ever feel like crying but don't want anyone to know?
2. Ever wanna kill yourself for something people find silly?
3. Do you have a time when you want to drop school and just run away? If so tell me about it
4. What is one subject or subjects that you feel like you're never gonna catch up to people? (for students)
5. What is one part of you job that you feel you are always the worst worker in whole whole group? (for adult, well people who work)
6. How do you help yourself to study a subject you are hopeless as? Even if ur an adult, just right something u used to do...
bye all~
