Thursday, March 25, 2004

Thursday
*yawn* Hihi. time for rants...

I woke up this morning, and was dead tired. I mumbled something about how everything was just too much work and it was so difficult. But no one was around to hear it, so mhm, I got up and went to school... When my grandma went to drop me off, a girl walked by our car on the way to class. She looked right at me. She was giving me that sad, depressed look, the one where you're looking for something, but cant seem to find it... My grandma asked if that girl was one of my friends. I said No. I lied. Somewhat. Her name was Kristen, and she was a friend of a friend two years ago. Then she really messed up with boys,drugs etc, and she's that type of girl who has to check to see if she's pregnant everyother week. It made me feel really guilty as I walked to Science. But then I was so preoccupied with feeling guilty, I forgot that our class was meeting in the library instead of the room, oops. I went to the library and tried to get on myOtaku and it took 30 minutes to load because their internet's a piece of crap. Whoo..

I hate gym. Especially today. We went out to the track and our teacher said we had to run one lap (1/4 mile) and walk one lap. I jogged for about 20 feet before I got a sharp, sharp pain in my chest. it hurt. A lot. Deb was worried about me, so we walked, lalala. But the pain didnt go away. By then end of the walking time, I was dizzy and I couldnt breathe. We went into the weight room, and I sat in the corner. I told Deb I was tired. I didn't want to tell the teacher or go to the nurse because it's just too much of a hassle. I've been having heart/chest pains really often and sometimes its really bad. But, meh, I'm still here. So far, at least.

Math, my chest still hurt, but I ignored the pain and drew. I drew a picture, actually, a one paged-doujinshi featuring Sakura from Naruto. When the teacher came to check homework, I waved a paper at him quickly. I only had half of the problems done. He asked me if I did all my homework. I said yeah.

In English, I once again ignored the day's lesson and such and borrowed some colored pencils and colored in the doujinshi. My english teacher asked if I had my vocab sentences completed. I lied. Then I went to lunch.

At lunch, we've somehow got a new army of 7th graders. One we named, Karoku. An odd mix of Kagome and Miroku from InuYasha. Don't ask, I don't know. He had a dollar sitting on the table. I reached over and took it, and put it in my pocket. My friends were worried about me not eating. I told them I had a big breakfast. Actually, I only had 2 pieces of watermelon that I nibbled on.

Technology came around and this kid asked if I was done with my share of the work. I was finished with 6 out of 10 segments, but I told him I had completed it all. Some other kid wouldnt stop dissing anime and such. It really annoyed me.

History: I did my test and gave it to like, 6 other kids to copy off. We had a substitute and he asked if we were copying eachothers work. i shook my head. Later, Chiyo visited. It was nice. Then I got on the bus and I went home. My uncle picked me up at the bus stop and we went to eat out at a barbeque place. I ordered off the kids menu and I barely ate. He asked me why I wasnt eating. I told him a had a big lunch.

I feel like such a liar. I'm too tired to lie now, so, bleh. I feel guilty enough, but I just dont like people worrying about my health, and I really wanted to draw/color, so, NYAH.
O_o; A lot of people have been bugging me on why I draw so much. I usually draw about 5 hours a day. 2/3 at school and about 3/4 at home on the computer. I just need to get better. They say I'm obsessed. It's probably true, now that I look at all the blisters and and lead marks/streaks covering my hands, I would say yeah. I am obsessed. So what? I love to draw. Its the only thing I know how to do. I dont know myself very well, and I'm not good at a lot of things. Drawing is the only thing I know. And its not like its just some magical ability. I've practiced like no tomorrow constantly and study techniques, and research art styles and stuff. Plus watching anime/reading manga is good too ^o^ Besides, I'm horrible at talking. So its much easier to type things out or draw them out on paper. No matter how good I am right now, it means very little to me, just because I know that theres a zillion others out there that are improving at everymoment, being 10,000 times better than me. I am PASSIONATE about becoming a great mangaka. I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with my work, not until I've really, REALLY proved myself to everyone. *shrugs* New Naruto fanart. Kakashi-sensei.

Thursdays are just too weird for me. *huggles her Grunty .hack//SIGN plush and sighs* Nya...


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