Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Some things just always seem a little pointless. The ever growing flowers the penetrate the skies, tell the me the land of their infinite surprise. Wandering through those hot summer days, watching the children play and scream and then…What really happens when the sun goes down. Everyone seems to disappear without a trace. Maybe if I’d listened and they would stay. You can have what you want but it’s all cheap pain. Creating memories for your mind to relate. Understanding everything is repeating itself again. Maybe its time to change it and make the sides of the earth bend. I’m always afraid in the morning when I wake up. The sky so bright and colorful, almost seems like the world going to swell up and the roads will tear apart and the flowers will grow. How far will we get this time. We try and try again. Searching for an excuse, maybe an answer or just a reason. But the glee within me is having trouble on the way up. Maybe some things weren’t meant to be golden or black. Just let me sleep a little longer. Everything will clear up in he morning.
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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

All the letters you gave me. I’ll keep forever. Never forget that feeling I got when I looked you in the eye. Never forget that touch you gave like no one had done before. That on looking stare. The star told me that it wasn’t the end. It’s would all be just fine. Your voice told me that we may never see each other again. I wait for the day, it’ll all be clear. I saw you drive away so slow then fast with fear. I don’t know where you’ve gone. I don’t know when you’ll be back. But a few more moments to hold you close. A few more moments to tell me more. What went through your head that night. Filled me with love and then with fright. I can’t conceal my life anymore. I kept strong for you maybe it wasn’t the best thing to do. But for you, I hardly even spoke. But the second I saw you face disappear in my mind, I couldn’t help but break down and cry. Like the child inside me. I knew I’d miss you more than anything else. Your scent stays with me like a perfume. For now I lay my head on the ground, and pray that I’ll see you again soon.
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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Well, lifes been a puddle. Just can't seem to make any sense of it all. Maybe you all know what I'm saying, though some say you don't. There's only a few words left to say but nothing really worked.

Well, my heart is saying yes. But my mind is saying no. Maybe its a fight between us. We can't seem to understand whats happening. Everything is so beautiful, but it'll all fall again soon. It's so confusing how we make it all seem so confusing.

That boy at my school, that I was telling you about, he drives me insane. Because I love and care for him but there's something about him that I can't seem to grasp or understand. He's alot like me in some since but I never can quite understand. He just makes me feel so...I don't know. It's a difficult feeling to describe. Oh well, I've never been to good and describing how I feel. He just drives me insane because I can't predict him. Most people are so obvious and it doesn't take much to understand what they want. But with him everything I thought was opposite. He's just not like anyone else I've been with before. It's kind of a relief and a struggle at the same moment. I can't get his head but I think I'm getting close.

I miss him so much right now though. I haven't seen him for awhile now since schools been let out for the holiday. He had me scared for a few moments. Thathe wouldn't come back from where he was going. It had me scared, the second he told me they were going to post pone it I wanted to just grab him and hug him. It wasn't a good feeling. I really thought I had lost him and that I'd never see him again.

It seems I talk about him alot lately. Even though there is so much going on, he's the only thing that sticks out in my mind.

Well, before this gets too terribly long, tomorrow I should be getting my car. It's a Volkswagon 89 Cabriolet white convertible. It's a sexy little car. I can't wait to take him home with me.
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Monday, November 21, 2005

I wrote you a letter you may never see. The way you looked at me that night, telling me exactly what you saw inside. Reminiscing your life to me. Telling me all that happened in your life. And I just sit there with that same old lank stare, wondering why. Then I close my eyes. The world falls again. Made my heart stop for a second I could bend. All the color was gone disappeared from your face. Only the fiery mist could tell me what to say. Trickling with sweat, your body falls to the ground. I cleaned this mess a thousand times, it’ll never change. Maybe things aren’t as they seem. Give me wine and leather lace. Give my time to get into place. Those repeating decimals go on forever without an explanation for why they go. If only I had listened before. The only words I could think of just tore. With the dissonance of time and the glory of life, I only remember those last few words you said. Been there forever. Reckless voices ferment in my head. That awful sound. Pay attention to the signs, they say. Only time will tell our fate. If I had enough time, maybe I wouldn’t have turned out this way.
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Tuesday, November 8, 2005

Through the Night.
My mistake mirrors yours. We are the same to them just another person. The time we spent trying to live. To try and make it good. Just another morning to live. Another day to pass. I never saw the sky shine so bright in your eyes as the day I saw you leave me. Just sitting here wondering what’ll come next. Hoping for the chapter to end. Another beginning to this song. To forget all the promises made, it‘s all in the past. Why can’t I forget all that you never left time for. These songs that never cared before take me back to the scars and I dream of the days to come when I won’t be alone. Another blissful morning slowed to a complete stop. Got to get out before it moves on. Quickly before the time decides to fade away and the night engulfs the day with its revealing face. The embers of life have yet to reach my line of sight. The flavor of night left to waste away. Nothing more to question, the verdict is in. Might as well learn from it, try it again. One more time, one more moment to spare. One last kiss to keep me through this night. Help me now. The spinning and turning as the days go by. Nothing to question, just sit there and lie. Sink down low and never repent. The days we’ve left to unfold never came with the rhyme.
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Picture Day!
Well, I've been feelin' dazed and confused. So, my mind is down. A light ahead, blinds me from the sounds. Unfortunate lies and a dagger pierces my senses and melts them to the ground. The only thing stopping me is that awful awful sound.

I don't feel like writing much, but I guess I'll tell you all whats been going down. There's a new boy at my school that I am incredibly infatuated with. He's incredibly interesting. It's a strange feeling almost completely new to me. Like all the dark shadows that were clouding my mind are beginning to disappear. I swear, I don't think I've ever really been this happy. Well, I was bored today so I cam-whored for awhile and edited some too.

Enjoy:


Me.


Neck.


Feet.


Eye.


Legs.


Body.


Rib.


Ear.


Waist.


Me from view above.

I've been so bored. T_T
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Thursday, October 20, 2005

As you stand searching through the ongoing passers-by. Just come so close than go away. Each step farther than the last. Recreation injects its steely vemon into your eyes. Blinding you from the purpose in mind. Making less of what you were. Changes happen everyday, watching as it wastes away. It's ending one moment at a time. Just keep it all inside. And suddenly, it falls. Your train of thought crashes to the ground. Never to be heard of again. Juat another memory of a dream of something that went unseen. What never was and can never be. Another trick of the mind. Repeating in your head over and over again. Not really what I'm saying or what it will say. Word on words. Day by day. You're moving on. Thought we'd never be apart. Just reach inside and cry out. Lay back, watch the show. Collect your thought and let them grow. To the reachs of the skies and unknown. Never let me down before. The times have changed. My heart is poor. Listen only to half of what I say. Made sense to me, it always seems that way.
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Wednesday, October 5, 2005

Just never know the days until the real soul. They replenish the darkness in the window. Repeating themselves at their own pace. Fleeing to the light beams. Grappling my legs as I scurry for the life. Freeing me from the grasp that holds. Limitations that held me down. From the truth that never will I see again. Just wait for the light to come in. Waking me from the dreams I'd known so well. Wandering through the life unseen. Tearing through the eyes of clocks. Stay on your side. Know your place. Sockets from the risen drapes. Frightening world. I see you through this door. Though the nights are calm. The days keep moving and changing. Indentation, wrinkles and vines. Lapping your up until your dry. Piercing through the ripened fruit of the grand. You will never catch me. You will never. I've got to take a break for freedom.

PS. New Fan-Art. Should be up, sometime tomorrow.
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Friday, September 23, 2005

They world is filled with wonders farther than our imaginations. Why do we destroy what has kept us alive for so long. Why do we hurt the only mother we ever had that nurtured us for centuries in the past, that will continue nurturing us for the future. We hurt this world so much with our own selfish need in place and now she’s getting back in all the ways she can. Have we enslaved our mother earth into a live of pain. The simple beauties we take in everyday and see it as nothing. The end of the world as we know it. The beginning of a new life. She’s fighting back. She’s stronger than we thought. Even after all this distress there is a waking force from inside that keeps her alive. She’s fighting back. The sunny days, the windy nights. All the splendor left to right. Winds so fast, life so high. Upon us the anger falls. The beauty of the rage inside. To see the life in her as you die. You must first loose everything before you move on. Crying on your pillows wishing for the end. Dreaming of the days to come, the answers are withheld. What happened to our world we knew? Where were we then? Through the ages we had no idea. The children of the world, watching their lives end for the mistakes of what came before. Uncontrollable Reconcile. The end of it all, the next aura. The only trial.
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Friday, September 9, 2005

Precious ores. Reprized in their shells. Turning down the likes of me. The likes of everything I may be. What is the color of this maze. The only real thing I still feel. The turns exist. Staring at me with those blank eyes. Like you didn't understand a word. Like every word I spoke was nothing. You didn't hear a word. Tense and unaware. I felt those piercing eyes deep within my clutch. I just wanted them to disappear throw them away. But these eyes just won't go away. They created this wall. Those unappreciative movements. One of these days I'll look at this and smile. One of these days is too far away. The only memories I care to have are long before this. The only dreams I crave to live are all in the past. These few moments are the best years of our lives. When was it ever as good as we thought. Was it ever as bad as we thought it was? These past nights I've wondered where I am to go from here. It's all falling apart. And I never knew why. I never accepted my fate as I never enjoyed my freedom. Where did the time go, it's slipped by too fast. Did my youth go down the drain with the rest of me? I only wish I could remember. The life I never really had. This never-ending story that goes on from my fingertips. So far from my reach, the past is consumed. If only I could've saved every waking moment. If only it were easier to believe the good things. Everything is like a cord. It reaches forever and once you get to the end there's no where to turn but back to the start. Along the way we may fall but theres nothing to stop us from getting back up again. The only thing stopping you is yourself. The only way to go is up. Maybe is was meant to be for you to stop. But if you fail to go on. The direction of your course will turn. You'll only build it up to fall down again. You'll never really know what happened until you try again. And your life will be waisted, you'll be like a stone on the ground. Searching for a purpose and never knowing the way. It is the end.
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