Monday, May 24, 2004

   The Most Irritating Day Ever (An angsty Bitch-Session with Teh Smma)
This happened quite a while ago, but these events burst into my mind last night while I was waiting for Sleep. The memory called for a lil' postie.

I had been invited to a concert by my Best Friend (at the time). How I could refuse the ticket I was offered? She was my Best Friend, and for some reason that was completely beyond me, she lovedthese guys. At the time I had no major objections to them, but after the concert I realised they had absolutely no musical talent whatsoever, and a lead singer who's voice was the definition of irritating. They're just boring, tedius, and bland, like most Modern Pop 'Bands'. But, Hey!, I rationalized, every experience is to be learned from. I had never been to a Real Concert before. (Did Jazz at the Top of the Senator or Sharon, Lois and Brahm count? XD) This would all be new to me. New is good.
My eyes began to water the moment I walked through the stadium doors. The atmosphere was opressive. Thousands of kids, all exactly the same. I was rather disturbed. I could practically hear them thinking the same thoughts. Everyone wore the same slutty, hip clothes, the same over-done, heavy make-up.
Honestly, I felt like crying. I didn't really know why, though. I couldn't, though, because my friend was having such a good time. I didn't want to ruin it for her. At one point she asked me "why I looked so miserable", but she couldn't hear my response over the noise.
Oh, the noise. The hideous, pointless, earsplitting noise.
Do you know that moment, that moment when you realise; "I HATE crowds. I HATE large gatherings of human beings. I HATE noise." That moment when you realise that a lack of diversity really gets to you? That Consistency is one of the most irritating abstract nouns? And then it's too late?
The first band on was vapid, offensive and extremely bland. It seemed that the only word in the frontmans vocabulary was "fuck". Vaguely embarrased at my race, I wondered what the appeal was. Their lyrics appeared to be the type inserted into the kind of music one listens to when they are 7 or 12 or whatever age, and have just discovered the phenomenon of Modern "Music". Angsty, PMSin' 16 year old girlie music. Bah, I could've puked.
As for the second band on, I had a mild respect for the 10 minuted piano solo. It wasn't brilliant. In fact, it was putting me, as well as the rest of the inhabitants of the stadium, to sleep. Nevertheless, it was a pretty brave concept.
Then, the band that everyone was there for went on stage. At that point, all that I wanted to do was jump out of my seat and bolt. My friend, bouncing and screaming along to hit song after hit song, commanded me to join her. I convinced myself that it would all be over in a matter of hours, and the least I could do was keep her happy, so I tried a bounce and a scream. It made my head hurt.
For the duration of the rest of the show, I kept my ears open for a solo. One tiny tidbit of musical expertise. I wasted my time.
My eyes wandering to the ceiling, I stared at it reeeally hard, hoping that my Laser Vision would kick in, so that it would fall on all the little sheep in General Admission. I hadn't loathed humanity this much in a long time.
I couldn't have been happier when the show ended. They played Frank Sinatra over the P.A. in an attempt to get all the kids to leave. It worked rather well. Singing along, I mused that I'd rather been at one of his shows, had he been alive. My friends parents told me that I was born in the wrong century. I think they had a point. (But would the 70's be worth my beloved devil of a computer? My 'cube? I think not.)

Wow, this really made me sound like one of those thousands of rabid, 'anti-conformist' paradox-people. I assure you, I am not. Those were the people who were at the show. I guess I either sounded like on of them, or an Old Fart. Ha.

I guess another issue that added to my intense hatred was that I saw myself buying into all that crap for a while. I'm sure most people do, for some amount of time.

What's important is that it was a learnin experience. Nothing is really negative. I learned that one should think before they obsess, that good things only remain good in moderation, and that giant concerts suck, in addition to about a hundred other things about my gender, my age group, and my friend. See, it's all good!

NEXT WEEKS BITCH SESSION:

"Reality T.V: Why I'm about to shove my television off a 10, nay, 20 story building!"
or
"Reality T.V: Why I'm going to live under a rock for the rest of my life!"
or
"Reality T.V: The reason for the Doomsday Device I am currently building!"

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