Tuesday, August 10, 2004

   Not again...
Oh my, not again please!!!

Not long ago I told ya that I had a fucking virus saying something about ActiveX right? And that Icouldn't check my mail not even some pages becuase ActiveX says so... Well, it's back! The fucking virus is back and I have no idea how to kick it out, how to kill it, whatever!! ARGH!!!

Can any of you help me out please!!?? I run like... 20 fanlistings + 1 hatelisting and I need to check the mail!!! *cries*
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Saturday, August 7, 2004

   Beach time!
Hey there guys!! w00t! I'm at the beach and it's so hot!!! Man I'm gonna melt.

I've been taking abths, sunbathing and playing Kingdom Hearts since I came *lol* Oh and we got paid!! Haha I got paid a lot if we consider I was only working in that fucking gorrible monster-family hotel... I got 360€ for 9 days.... maybe becuase we had to go to the police and they wanted to "soften" things... Nyo nyo, fuck them *lol*

So ya I've been the whole time playing KH, and no I have to go to the End of the World (how lovely) and kill Ansem, kill Ansem, kill Ansem and kill Ansem and maybe kill Ansem again :p

Hmmm Saiyuki and Ronin wallpapers... will do so when I come back home ^o^
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Monday, August 2, 2004

   Random
Uhh I dunno what to post. I'm kinda happy today. Could be because I posted at my blog and fortunately the person I wanted to read it did it. She read it and e-mailed me... Well, I think it's better than anything, isn't it?

Anyway as I said I'm kinda happy... I'm leaving in a couple of days to the beach. I'll be 5 lovely days away from my family *pleasure* Away from my sister, and PLAYING KINGDOM HEARTS!!! RIKUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! I love him so much!!!!

Btw, I'm open to suggestions, I need to make more wallpapers, need some kind of distraction. Any suggestion/request?
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Sunday, August 1, 2004

   Lalihooo
Well I've had several reasons: main one, I've
seriously thought of committing suicide. Why? Well, no one gives a damn about
me. It's like I dont' exist, only when I'm cheery-happy. What's wrong? Do I have
to be always smiling and say stupid things to make people realize I'm still
breathing, to make them see I'm human too and I need kind of attention when I'm
depressed? No one, and I repeat it, no one has worried about me while
I've been away. I've been 2 weeks away and I didn't get a fucking e-mail asking
me if I was ok, asking when I was or saying any other stupid thing. No one. Not
even from that person I thought cared about me. Isn't it sad? No one gave a damn
about me when all that last shit happened, no one cared to talk to me, what
about my feelings? Oh, do I have feelings? My "friends" seem to think they're
the only ones with them. But oh no sorry, Aya has her feeligns too, and right
now they're broken. Right now they're bleeding. But like someone cares. And I'm
not talking about real life friends. That too, but now I'm talking about
something else, some other people I thought I could trust but that have proved
that trust useless. I was always there for them, and they weren't there for me.
They didn't even care asking. The only one whos' seemed to care - and I' mreally
sorry because I shouted at her - is
Meilin. I really love
you sweetie. You knwo what our "stupid" chats mean to me ^^ And hey if you want
to play with Lana, you know, make her "play" with Riku, Cloud and Squall ^^ Oh
and maybe I do that Vincent wall or graphic, what do we prefer?

Well, I've been searching for new Gackt pics
and I found some sexee ones. I made some wallpapers but I'm not posting them
here 'cause evil Meilin
says "Gackt is ok" ¬¬ He's HOT, you're ok *lol*

I just saw Everwood, and it's funny
because Ephram's "life" seems to be like mine... well, kinda. My mother didn't
die and I didn't move but... it's just.. the way people treat him... something
like that. It's weird to explain but I identify myself with him. Kinda.

And talking about Everwood, we finally get OC here. They've been
like 3 weeks saying "OC coming soon" and finally they're playing it. But
guess what? Now another channel is gonna air Dark Angel same day same
time!! For a change! They always do that *rolls eyes*

Well, I think I should leave now. After this
depressing entry I doubt anyone will come back. Saa, who knows? Maybe I get more
enemies just by saying what I really feel... It's my speciality.
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Saturday, July 31, 2004

   Grrrrr
Grrrr not fair!! Not fair at all!!!I've been 2 weeks without my comp!!! TWO WEEKS!!!

What happened? Well, the comp finalyl died. And I say finally because it had been 2 months acting funny, and dad wouldn't believe me. o finally he did, even if it was the worse way. But luckily he did and I've been 2 weeks without my love just to get half a new one. I say half 'cause the DVD recorder and such are the same ^^ And I also got dad to get a better hard drive. It was about time too. So I've been unable to update, make more wallpapers, update my fanlistings... nothing. It's been horrible so many time without my love. Oh and I renamed it;: now it's Cloud ^^ yay!!

well gotta go now. I'll update properly tomorrow ^o^
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Sunday, July 18, 2004

Random...
Not much to post about. I just have a mess in the comp... incredible mess. It won't let me check the mail, every now and then it says the page has suspicious content... dangerous content... that ActiveX this, activeX that... WHAT THE FUCK? What's wrong with that fucking ActiveX? Anyone knows how to solve it? *cries*

Anyway, I'm supposed to go out tonight. A "friend" is supposed to pay for my dinner 'cause he owes me money, but I'm still waiting here. He's just 5 mins late but I hate when ppl make me wait 'cause I never make them wait. Maybe I sound like a bitch again but I just had a fight with my mother because I wasn't gonna stay home tonight and now look...

anyway...

I hate my sis' friend. And I hate my sis when they're together. And here they are again. I can't stand them!!!

Anyway, just trying to concentrate on the comp... I added lots of quizzes today. I've been rescuing the ones I took long ago.
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Friday, July 16, 2004

   Fucking summer
Maybe I’m a real bitch, who knows? I’ve been away working at the beach in a hotel where we were nothing but slaves, we were treated like completely slaves: not a second to take a deep breath or whatever. I've been unable to walk for several days just because of that, and even now I can't do it properly. We were treated like shit. When we told the manager we were gonna leave, the same day, a fucking stupid girl who won't do anything in her life but work there, she threatened Isilme and told her she was gonna kill her and wait for us outside. Then, if that wasn't enough, we got a text for one of our closest friends saying her father had just died. And of course, the bitch waited for us and you can imagine. We even had to go to the police.

And of course, people don’t care about it; they think I can’t be depressed because I’ve always been the cheerful kind. But I have feelings too and now I’m broken. But they don’t care, they only listen to me when I’m happy and smiling, as if I had no problems at all. And it hurts that no one pays attention to you when you need it. Even when you try to get their attention. And when you try to do so, you’re a bitch because you want to be the centre of attention. Great, isn’t it?

Tell me, because maybe I’m doing something wrong. What should I do to make them realize I need help right now? I’m taking for granted they won’t give a damn about me. I’m not like that, but they’re giving me hints enough to be like this.

Well. I’ve rediscovered PSP 8. The new wallpapers I’m working on have neither brushes nor things like that. They’re all effects and such. I don’t like PSP brushes *shrugs*. And so, I have a new obsession: Cloud Strife ^o^ I’m stuck in Halloween Town in Kingdom Hearts, because the Play Station is back in the beach house, so I can’t play. I had a really hard time trying to defeat Cloud in the Hercules Cup. I didn’t want to. Even if he’s pretty easy to defeat. Same as Squall and Yuffie. I think Yuffie was the hardest... she would never stop jumping ^^ so lovely! I can’t wait to see Advent Children!! I still can’t figure out what the hell is Aeris doing there, and why Yuffie is not Yes, I love Yuffie and I’m so hurt and offended that she’s not in the movie!! Not fair!!

Oh I have one last new – like someone reads this blog XD I’m married to Chris ^o^ Yup, I got virtually married to the only one who paid attention to my problems and wanted to protect me ^^ He’s so nice...
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Tuesday, June 1, 2004

   Studying... how lovely...
Well, about the job thingy. No luck. Dad told me that he was gonna look for a job for me in Malaga, so I stopped looking for one here. But there are no news. Dad hasn't told me about it again... And well, really, I need the money but I'm not willing to work under another heatwave... What if I die while going back home in the bus? No good ^_~

I just made a banner for my signature on TYB and Hollywood Heat. What do you think?



I've been trying to come up with a decent banner, but inspiration has abandoned me again... only because I'm studying Moby Dick... Well, I guess it's enough for killing my inspiration. Moby Dick is so horrible...
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Friday, May 14, 2004

   Looking for a job...
Yup, I'm gonna start sending curriculums away today. I'm not gonna work on summer with the kids, so I need a job. I need money. So today, I'm gonna start... searching... I really hope I can start working in the Chinese restaurant, even though I know that's gonna be almost impossible. But who knows? Summer's coming and they need people wh can speak English - because the restaurant is in the center and they get lots of tourists - so who knows? Maybe I'm a bit lucky after all...

Mom just drove me nuts today. She started talking about working on poshy shops only... and I was like 'WTF??' Oh come on, I hate those shops, how am I supposed to work there? o.O So I told her about the Chinese restaurant and she said nothing... I don't care. I'm gonna try everything... except those poshy shops, if I can...

I asked my friend Monika for a favour. I need to get some of my fanlistings hosted asap, before thefanlistings.org take them away from me... I hope she agrees... I could have asked lots of people, but I prefer her ^^

That reminds me that I haven't heard form Abbey in a couple of days, and I need the domain back! *lol* Or an answer, because I wanna know if I have to punch ppl to host me... :(
Well, I think that's all... I'm gonna look for a new mobile right now, and then start with the curriculums...

Finding a mobile is an odissey for me... yes, because I've been tryign to get one for 2 months now... how sad is it? Every time I found one I liked, dad said no. And if it wasn't dad, then it was mom. But now I don't care. I'm gonna g et it since I'm gonna look for a job. Good deal, isn't it? besides, my mobile does funny things, so I need a new one ^^

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004

   Bye Bye Suicidal BLiss...
for now.

Yes, the domain has gone. But well, Abbey told me that she was gonna renew it for me - and wouldn't let me pay her.

So, I dunno what to say. It's like I' not memebr of this site 'cause no one would comment to make me happy *cries*
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