Saturday, October 1, 2005

   Confused
Hello again peoples! I'm back and feeling better than ever...except for the fact that I have to do so much homework. I have a project due on Great Expectations by Charles Dickens due by Monday. I have to make a scrapbook and plus I also have to help about five people with their project because they just plain don't get it. My mother says I'm to passive and if I continue to let people walk all over me, as she proclaims, I'll never get anywhere in life. I believe that if you help others and expect nothing in return good things are sure to come to you for your kindness towards others. If any of you are reading this...please leave a comment and tell me what you think. Am I wrong to help others at any cost. Is it wrong for me to care so much. Please help me.
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

   Hello peoples sorry I haven't written in a long time but I've been busy. I just recently got out of the hospital and the teachers have been evil and have been giving me mountains of homework(Doom on them all). Let me tell you about the hospital and it's evil ways(Dun Dun Dun). Evilness # 1 their food taste like crap and when the hospital lady says hospital is good. You feel like telling them did they pay you to say that. Evilness #2 the gowns are so revealing. They cover everything in the front but in the back you can see undergarments.(It's not very pleasant) Evilness #3 It's really annoying having to drag your IV around especially when you need to the restroom. Evilness #4 The beds are fun to play with but not to sleep in. For example my bed stopped working when they took me to get X-rays. Evilness #5 No matter how much you want to they don't let you get any rest. About the only good thing that happens is that you get to watch t.v. and Bandy the Band-aid comes to visit you. It may seem stupid and idiotic but he's still pretty funny. Take my advice and don't get sick. I'll write to you laterz people but right now it gots to go. : D
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Saturday, September 17, 2005

   Dedicated Story
Hello people! Let's see what can I write about. Oh yes let me tell you a story. Where should I begin......Feelings are funny things. One minute your feeling something then the next your feeling something totally different. Funny how our emotions affect everything we do. It's like they control us. You can't live with them and you can't live without them. I guess I'm writing this to help people understand their feelings a little better. This came to me in a dream so here goes........A couple of years ago we broke up because of a stupid reason. I blame myself for his suffering and pain. Truth be told I still loved him when we broke up. He kept begging me for a second chance, yet I said no because I did not want to get hurt. He was miserable for such a long time. I still loved him deeply, yet I forced it out my mind and heart (or tried at least). I guess that's why I treated him so wrong, to make myself forget, to make him move on and forget. (Yet he didn't) I moved on and kept hidind my feelings. I had a new boyfriend, yet he wasn't anything compared to him. My feelings never changed, no matter how much I did. I put through so much suffering back then, and I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am. I'm crying inside and I always seem to mask my feelings with something else. As time continued to flow things began to change. I noticed my feelings for him resurfacing, and I was in so much pain and agony. I cried every so often but wouldn't let anyone see my pain. I guess it was the fact that he was moving that really tore at me from the inside. Everyday was like torture as I watched him with them. I guess it was jealousy or remorse. Oh well, I know I deserve it. It's the exact same thing I did to him. Now I know the pain he felt. Now I know how he suffered internally and externally. It's a shame I had not met Lloyd by then. Lloyd had left a large impact on my life. He taught me many things and why we act so. He's the person who got me interested in philosophy. He is the reason why I help people at all costs. Unfortunately I didn't know this till it was to late. I always made sure to keep him close and follow Lloyd's teachings. That's why I could never show him any hate even when he said he'd get over me, fore I could never get over him, no matter how much I tried. When I realized my love for him had returned I didn't know how to explain my feelings to the one I had hurt. Had he forgotten me or did he feel the same way. When I found out he liked someone else, I felt as if my world died and I with it. I wasn't but sad even though I didn't show it. I told him how I had feelings for him, yet I don't know how he felt or how he reacted. I embraced him that same day and for the first time I felt right. As I held him I could feel his warmth pouring into my body. I didn't want to let. I didn't want to say good-bye to this happiness inside me. As my face brushed against his cheek, I wanted to kiss him and fall back into my fantasy world. I held back my feelings, and in the end I didn't kiss him. I can still here him as I embraced him. If he ever goes out with another girl he likes I'd be happy for him. As long as he's happy, I'm happy. It's a shame how I let such a good guy and wonderful thing just slip by because of my stupidity. I had my chance, and I blew it. If I could do things over I would, just to be with him. Just to be with the person I love, yet I could never tell anyone, him, or even myself. If he gives me a second chance, I'll take even though I don't deserve it. I just hope he's happy...........this is dedicated to a special person who always has problems such as these. I hope you read this story which I dreamed and come to an understanding. I always here to help so don't be afraid to ask. Well till next time. See ya!:)
P.S. I really hope this helps more than one person.
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Thursday, September 15, 2005

   Geeez......This so totally sucks. It turns out I'm getting worse not better. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........curse you evil boy. Anyway,,,,can't write.....go to go......till tomorrow maybe......I'm sorry.
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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

   Hi people! Guess what I'm feeling a little bit better. YAY! Anyway I can't make this a long post since I have so much homework to do. Gosh that is so not fair. Evil teachers! Anywho I'll probably write more tomorrow. I've so much to write about but Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........er I mean cough cough. Anyway I'll tell you tomorrow. Oh yeah if your reading this Cody (muffinman) it's me. See ya later! :p
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

   Hi guys. Sorry I didn't write yesterday. I've just been so busy with schoolwork and stuff. This is going to be a short post on a count of I'm sick.:( I curse the evil person who got me sick. It's been a living nightmare with this stupid cold and now my asthma is starting to flare up. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr................THIS IS SO NOT FAIR! If I have time later I'll write about the crazy remedies my mom had me. It's kind of weird and funny. Well gotta go to the doctor."BLEHHHHHHHHHH" See ya Later!
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Sunday, September 11, 2005

   My Freaky Dream
Hello! I'm back...err...kind of late, but better late than never. Anyway what should I write about. Let me think...oh I now I'll write about the dream I had last night...it might give you a laugh.
Let see...it starts off with Kagome and I running in the woods from a gigantic demon spider thingy (you get the picture) well anyway Kagome trips, and she is about to be eaten by the spider but then I pick up her bow and arrow and take a good chunk out of the demon.:) hee hee. The bad thing is it can regenerate and well we make our escape while it's busy. We end up running through town and come to a fork in the highway. We turn back to see the ugly evil spider and....we PANIC! Kagome goes to the right and I go the left (typical). I must really have bad luck because then the demon starts chasing me and leave it to my luck for my legs to start hurting. The spider starts gaining on me but then I see a sacred being shot from nowhere and it somehow destroys the spider....or so we thought. Anyway we get pretty far from where the spider only to here coming from afar. Well we run into this building to see if we can lose it and it just so happens that it's a clothing department. The spiders gone and now we seem to be in a group of girls. I guess they're our friends because they don't seem hostile and they seem to know us (it's like stalkers):p Anyway we got rid of the spider but now we have a bigger problem (a female rhino that can track us using our scents). I have one freaky imagination. Anyway we're running through the department store like crazy evading the rhino. We would from time to time outsmart it but when we would try to break for the exit it would catch our scent and come charging at us. Then we got this crazy idea of putting on clothes to drown out our scent. Well we're there putting on the clothes when the rhino shows up and starts charging at us and I'm there with a shirt on my head and shorts halfway on. I don't remember but we some how outran the rhino and made it outside. The freaky thing is that the girls that were with us vanished and it was Kamome and me again. We began walking and we came to this beatiful lake surrounded by trees and it appeared that the sun was just rising. We weren't the only ones there though there were groups of kids walking about and stuff. We met up with my friends and we began walking to this bleacher thingy. We sit down and then we see Inuyasha in his beautiful red kimono and his gorgeous hair swaying from side to side. He he he oops I got carried away. Anyway Kagome and I start yelling "INUYASHA" and he finally comes. The sad thing is that he embraces Kagome (should of saw that coming) and leaves me alone. After that happened (this part I don't understand so bare with me) I remember seeing Kagome walking down the sidewald but she was glowing blue, and then........
I woke up. Well that was my freaky messed up dream. I hope you liked it. Anyway I'll post more later but for know I got to go later. :)
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Saturday, September 10, 2005

   First Day
Well I'm just getting started so sorry if it's kind of "blah".(Just bare with me) Lately, I've been kind of in a depression mode which is good when I'm in the mood to write poetry. I think I'll share the one I just recently wrote.

Standing in the shadows not known to the light,
Darkness envelops me unable to fight,
My heart beats once,
Then twice,
As I close my eyes from the world of night,
The fear inside me bellows from within,
And I know the process is about to begin,
I prepare myself for the task ahead,
Fore I know it shall not be easy said,
I keep trying and trying,
Yet it never seems to come to an end,
As the darkness inside me keeps beating me again and again,
Sucha difficult task,
Though I know I shan't give up,
Fore if I shall lose,
The darkness will never let up,
I hear a voice calling to me from above,
The voice does not seem hostile,
But instead full of love,
Who is this person I wonder,
Who calls to me from yonder,
For some odd reason I feel like crying,
As if I were saying good-bye to someone who was dieing,
As I stare into the darkness around me,
I begin to feel a warmth come rushing to me,
My heart starts beating faster and faster till finally....
My eyes open and I see the light for the first time in a long time.

Anyway that was it. I hope you like. I have to go now, but I'll be back soon.(I hope)

Laters
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