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Friday, December 16, 2005
ahhh
My piano recitals tonight... I really hate piano recitals. 2 of my friends are goin so I guess thats cool...too bad I can't sit by them. But I'm in between my two cousins so I guess thats cool. My cousins getting ready to turn ten...started YEARS after me...and is already just about at the same level I am. The order goes by skill...hes right before I am. >_> Then its me..then his sister then ppl I don't know. I mean GEEZ A 9 YEAR OLD IN THE ADVANCE CLASS WITH ALL THE TEENAGERS?! Thats insane, but I can't say I'm not proud of him because I am. :) The thing is though, their mom makes them play/practice insane amounts until they hate it. And she screams at them if they miss notes...its so stupid. So they do it because of their mom not because they love it. Thank GOD my parents aren't that bad.
I always get nervous...I usually do ok but then end up proving to be a dork at the end. ;_; This year I have to try and look normal...I hate doing things in front of people. Piano,plays,speeches, they all suck. I need to work on that...
And we don't have to do the recitals..but my teacher somehow manages to put this feeling on me that it would mean sooo much to her. I love her, I really really do. But I wish I could not play in a recital without feeling guilty. EX. yesterday I gave her a little statue of an angel (she loves angels) and she went into this thing where she kept saying "IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL! Oh my God your the greatest!" And fighting off tears and hugging me THEN she says "I'm so proud of you, not just as a student but as a person." How can I not play in a recital after that? She loves it when her students play.
Ooookay. Well, I was absent yesterday and ended up having to take/make up tests in every single subject. I hate that..
My brother moved out today. I wanna go see his apartment pretty bad too...its not even an apartment its a rent house. I feel like an only child now haha, I'm the only kid living in the house. My sister and brother both left. >_>
Ugh I always get nervous before recitals. Idk why...I get headaches and butterflys and twitches and the fact that I have to wait 2 hours through the little kids playing before I can doesn't help. So..I'll go. And try to drink some water or something.
PS..The arm on my chair is fixed. :D
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