Thursday, August 30, 2007

   Why I'm Lucky (and why you are, too)
You're lucky because today I won't bitch once!!! i think...

Okay. I was thinking today, this is why I'm lucky:

I've got a roof over my head. I've got food and clean water. I've got internet, basic cable, pets, lots of clothes, lots of books, toothbrushes and toothpaste, movies, art supplies, a guitar, combs, soap, boxes, tons of CDs, a Zune, and all sorts of other material things.

I've got a mom who is sometimes crazy and mean, but loves me enough and takes care of me. I may be born out of wedlock, but I know who my dad is, and have somewhat of a relationship with him. Most of my family lives far away. I can count on my mom.

I have a sister who I love, and who cares about me (and she doesn't seem to care about much). I've got a few, good, REAL friends -the kind that are okay with telling you the TRUTH when you need to hear it, but also being comforting, and who will get in trouble with you, who genuinely LIKE you, who defend you when someone talks shit about you. And I don't really hate anyone; I get along with lots of people.

I have a good boyfriend who treats me well, doesn't cheat on me, doesn't pressure me to do things I really don't want to, encourages me, and LOVES me. He doesn't just want me for sex, money, or connections. He trusts me. He likes me as a person as well as a girlfriend.

My new roommate seems really nice, and I'm sure we're going to get along well. I have the chance to go to college far away, and people who love me that accept it and don't guilt me about it. I've had the opportunity to travel to Costa Rica and Japan. I've been able to help other people.

Though it may not be perfect, I was born in a place and time that I have freedoms. I don't have to be anyone's wife if I don't want to. I don't have to just pump out babies by the dozens (but I DO want kids). Nobody's gotta "own" me. I can say what I want to. I can do what I want (within reason), and I have dreams that may come true.

My body is pretty healthy. I'm fat, but not too badly. (sorry for this one) My **chest** is not huge, or tiny. I'm not tall or short. My hair is not difficult to take care of. I have straight teeth. I have nice skin. I have very cool looking eyes, and glasses to help me see. I'm not pretty or beautiful, but I'm not deformed or terribly scarred, or burned. And in any case, the people to whom that matters DON'T matter; and the people to whom that DOESN'T matter, do.

I haven't had a perfect life, but no one has. I haven't done everything right, but no one does (okay, JESUS does/did). I am secure in my beliefs, and my belief that God can forgive my indiscretions. My heart is not evil; I'm not particularly greedy, and I respect everyone, even if I don't like them or disagree with them.

I have a few talents. I can write fairly well on occasion. I'm good with animals. I'm good with children. I'm good with adults. I like my handwriting. I can swim, walk, run, jump, and lift just fine. I can handle the cold.

There's a lot more to be said, but...

I have everything I need, and as for wants...well, we don't always need what we want. God has seen to it that I am well taken care of and provided for. He has equipped me to lead a good, happy life. And as I have been so blessed, I feel it is my duty and privelage to help others. This is what I want to do with my life, and I have enough confidence to see it through.

^^

I'm not in a particularly happy mood, but I think it's important to mention how LUCKY I really am.


EWWW it's my eyeball!!! (isn't always that color)


TOO CUTE!!!! it's robbie


Looking like a serious druggie here


Looks like a bird on drugs...


She likes her eyeliner


Bastard poster can't be the real deal

:)thank you!
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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

   ahem text message incoming, ahem ahem
Heh. I'm not always right. But sometimes I am!

I TOLD my mom there ain't no Red Lobster by Colorado Mills. She was CONVINCED there was, I was CONVINCED there wasn't. Turns out I was right, but I was kind of unhappy about it, because I was SO hungry. Seriously. I was...gnawing on my arm and hand and fingers.

See, yesterday I went to the mall with my mom and Antonio. My sis didn't wanna go. Can't blame her **cough** it was late and pretty boring.

I got 3 new CD's: NIN Broken, The Offspring Smash, and Tool Aenima. Also, a Kurt Cobain mini-poster.

It's not that I have a boner for KC, but it's a picture to block the dreariness -or heaven forbid as in Mayte's case, Pinkness of my dorm room. I think I'll tear down my NIN posters and my Trent Reznor poster and bring them, too.

Speaking of TR

The dude who plays Snape as Snape in the Harry Potter movies


Trent Reznor in the poster I have.

FREAKISHLY coincidental, don't you think?

I noticed the similarity from a HP shirt at Hot Topic the other day...I saw Snape on a shirt, and did a double take. I though, "HOLY BANANA!!! TRENT REZNOR???"

and then I realized he has short hair nowadays.


old picture, but...I WISH MY HAIR WOULD DO THAT!!!!!!!

**cough cough** Antonio just brought a duster that's REAL dusty in here. Oh, it's a "Dye Magnet." BUT DAMN THAT BOX IS DUSTY

ANY way...ahem.

Best news! ^^ last night, Rain aka Grey Cat called me!!! we spent an hour talking on the phone. It was lovelythank you!
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Monday, August 27, 2007

   What the hell???
Last night, I was talking to Antonio because he was kinda depressed/unresponsive. I decided to tell him about this movie called, "Fluke" which I watched when I was small.

I haven't watched it in AGES, but I was because it was the happiest movie I could think of...Really unhappy movie, come to think of it. Lots of death and leaving and stuff.

And for whatever reason, I was overcome with tears. Not sobbing, but my eyes just started leaking. It was like all of a sudden, my tearducts became incontinent. hrmph. And then, for me, if I try to CHOKE BACK the tears, it only makes 'em worse.

-_- bah. It was over in about a minute, but it left me feeling VERY weirded out. I NEVER cry when I'm sad; only when I'm really angry. But I wasn't angry.

o.O I'm so freaked out, even though it was like 12 hours or more ago...

Anyway, Sunday I saw SuperBad with Mayte ^^ fun times. We'd both already seen it, but it's a larf.

We went around to the shops by there; she got some stuff for her fishies at Petco, we looked in Ross, and Michael's, and Old Navy =X I know.

But at Old Navy, she bought a raspberry colored sweater and a pair of blue plaid shoes. I got this weird black/navy and white striped shirt with a REALLY low cut front, long sleeves, and a hoodie. I think it looks a bit like a maternity shirt, actually =X but for whatever reason, I liked it. I was DRAWN to it. And when I'm drawn to something, I get it. And it was pretty cheap so yay!!!

But I jokingly held it up to Mayte and said, "look!!! i'm gonna wear it, and I'm not gonna wear a shirt underneath. Or a bra." She laughed and said, "you're gross."

But it freaked out this kid she knows, Adam, and she was glad cos he's a jerk.

Also, at King Soopers, I got toothpaste. Yippie.

Then, on her ride back home, I got dropped off at Antonio's and we went to Taco Bell.

Ahem. The bus ride there...well, I went to grab a 30 schedule...wound up grabbing ALL the 30 schedules. When I tried to shake ONE out...they ALL shook out and wound up on the stairs of the backdoor at the bus and on the sidewalk...oops...

Haha we ate my house, though. And since Antonio smeared pudding on me, and spit pudding on me, I got a mean idea. I squirted a packet of taco bell HOT sauce (not fire, i'm not that mean) which you'd think would be somewhat painful for me, but it was fine; tasted good.

Then, I kissed him and spit some of the sauce into his mouth xD I don't count it as gross because he did the same thing to me with pudding. But he claims the sauce got in his eye...

-_- maybe. But he said it was funny when it was pudding, not so much when it was hot sauce and HIM.

bah. he laughed eventually

AND TODAY (monday) is my precious cat PICKLE's 12th birthday. **squeezes him** he's depressed he's old, too, I can tell.

My other cat, Miss Kitty, she's 15. So who knows how much older than many of these MyOtakuites she is?

...I've been feeling a bit old, m'self. hard to believe junior year was TWO years ago, already. Seems like forever ago, but I remember everything so wellthank you!
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Saturday, August 25, 2007

   everything's funny when you're on drugs!!!
and indeed it's true; I'm on stomach pills and...woooo hahahaha

I'm abouts to go crash and pass out

very tired indeed.

why do i keep saying indeed?

today we went to boulder saw LOTS of dirty hippies. YUCK. i wept at the sight and did NOT enjoy the pearl st mall

Oh well.

I don't have to go to boulder, so who cares?

Just watched Nature and it was sooo weird.

I'm still out of it.

Had meatloaf, corn, and garlic bread for dinner.

Still full; surprising for me.

my thoughts are all jumbled and tiiiired

so tired. tired of...GOSSIP! (I love Bauhaus; one of the first Goth bands along with Joy Division, Siouxsie and the Banshees, and Sisters of Mercy. NOT the art school or whatever)

hee hee. good night.thank you!
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Friday, August 24, 2007

   don't WANT to
I hate to call people, I HATE TO TALK ON THE FUCKING PHONE

-_- damn you wells fargo.

damn you to hell.

Also, damn you Pete Coors just because you make crappy beer, are selfish as fuck, and are stinky. STINKY!!!

As to yesterday; I'm not DEPRESSED, i'm just tired all of the time. I'm so tired I feel like i can't move even to eat.

and then my mom and dad are bugging the hell out of me. I'm getting really tired of feeling guilty about going to Portland because of my dad, and getting really tired of being screamed at all the time by my mom.

So, I just can't wait to be king! haha lion king. ahem. Anyway. I really want to go to school already and get it over with. I'm not saying this to be whiny or anything, i'm just utterly frustrated.

Plus, my sister's at school all day nowadays and i'm stuck at home bored and lonely. And she has a bunch of homework and stuff, then, when she gets back, so... blah

Though, last night, we had a WONDERFUL thunderstorm. I LOVE THOSE. It was fantastic; i was soooo happy to hear it.

I also went out with Dulce, Maribel, Maribel's BF Cesar, Dulce's 5 yr old cousin Sebastian, Antonio, and Alan. It was fun ^^ I was the cheery leader in the group, since I was the connection between Antonio and Alan to the others.

thanks for the comments even though i've been away, sorrythank you!
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Thursday, August 23, 2007

   I'm sorry!!!!!!!
I've not been on lately!!! ><

so sorry!!!

Did you miss me?

lol not likely.

I've just been a little...meh. Down? Lethargic?

I don't know

I just really don't know. There's so much to do and I'm so tired all the time.

And I feel sick so much.

Things are fine, but I'm so tired. Just damn tired. Really tired.

Even if i just slept a decent amount.

My brain won't function properly

I want to eat a lot, I don't want to eat at all.

And I don't like anything I used to, I don't like anything

Sorrythank you!
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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

   WOOT!!! Horray for first offenses!!!
So, Antonio got lucky.

Plead guilty to Disturbing the Peace, and Trespassing. Assault charges were dropped.

He has to do 12 hours of USEFUL community service, and is on a 1 year unsupervised probation, and pay $216 of court costs, but his $500 bond was released, so thank God.

But he can't get in ANY more trouble for a year, or else he's fucked.

Still, this is about as good as we could have hoped.

If it hadn't been for the deferred judgement, he'd have gotten 19 days in jail!!! that's almost THREE WEEKS.

The judge was a little senile or something, though. He kept messing everything up xD

And I went. But stupid ass Alan decided he'd rather sleep than support his friend. Hmph. Then, when we were napping this afternoon, he kept calling, and then texted, "What happened?"

I finally told him. He texted me later, and said, "So is he still going to Manson?"

-_- bastard! it seemed like he only cared about going to Manson (if Antz didn't go, Alan would've)

oh well.

It was REALLY weird, though, at the courthouse...a big place, right?

well, in the SAME courtroom as us, was one of mine and Antonio's old friends....Elena! I dunno if she recognized me, though, I looked real different 2 and a half years ago when we were friends.

But I didn't wanna talk to her; she's nice but she would talk about how she got drunk with Antonio and he didn't know how to make out -_-

Still, who's the one with the kid and who's the one with the high school diploma, right?

Not that I have anything against teen moms. They made a mistake for themselves, but it isn't the kid's fault.

i'm sad, though, that my friend is gonna have a baby and she's missing out on college because of it. at least for this year =[

still.

Anyway, we celebrated the good outcome by eating at Denny's and then going home and taking a LONG nap ^^thank you!
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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

   HURRY UP AND BE 10 ALREADY I HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!
ah i hate everything and everything is the DMV

I went to get my State ID. OH joy. Spent like freakin' 2 hours there; wanted to shoot myself in the head with a TV.

At least Antonio went with me so I wasn't lonely ^__^ And he bought me a jamaica soda...ummm yummy **drools** even if he doesn't like it. I want a Tamarindo one now.

and NOW I am craving Mexican dulces...damn you Korean/Mexican Athmar Mart cruel vile temptress of deceit and FOOD

I LOVE that place. Oh and I want Horchata...yummmmmmm

I REALLY wish smoking wasn't bad for you...then I'd DEFINATELY smoke. Prime Times smell sooooo good. especially the cherry ones...

What sick bastard invented FLAVORED cigarettes? I really wanna know!!! They temp me; but i shall be strong!!!! I DO NOT want to smoke...bleagh.

Today I did nothing. But I watched THE HOST. Lovveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee that movie. Seriously. You have to see it. But I wanted to stab the English voice-overs...they suck!!!

Antonio had to watch it in English cos he's too blind to see the subtitles well. LOL

My room still looks like Hurricane Julie hit it. And I kind of did. I got pissed off and just started throwing stuff.

Oh. Do you like "weird" names or typical, popular names?

I DEFINATELY like weird names; i ALWAYS have. And I've never liked my name because it is SO plain. My parents obviously had no creativity with it.

I won't CHANGE my name...but I wish it were different.

I like the name JAMES for a girl. But I think if I have a daughter, the first one is gonna be named Tirza. Then Marlo. As for boys, I like Torrence, Torn, Trent, Ancien, James (it's plain but nice), Kyo, and I do like the name Christian (even if it's common, too)

I guess I like girl names better than boys. Weird habit.

habitat. Habbit. Hobbit. Hop it.

hrm...

<.<

>.>

ok ttyl!thank you!
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Monday, August 13, 2007

   Who knew Mean Girls would be funny???
I mean, it's not that good. But it's okay; it has Lindsay Lohan so I kinda don't like to look at it...>.> but it's before her major crack days.

Hey. It's free on TBS and it's better than anything else I have ^__^

except today I bought...THE HOST **squeals** Korean film; it's SO fucking good!!!!!!!! I love this movie!!! ^^

I WAS gonna get Hot Fuzz...but I changed my mind after some quick debating... **weeps** oh well. I'll get Hot Fuzz another time

This is so sad; I don't like too many American movies...But the BEST American movie EVER (or from anywhere else in this world) is Eraserhead.

Antonio makes the FUNNIEST comments on Mean Girls though. When the redhead is saying "saying someone's fat won't make you thinner, calling someone stupid won't make you smarter."

he goes, "but it sure feels good, bitch! Hey, Julie! You're stupid."thank you!
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Sunday, August 12, 2007

   Wise men say...
Damn. I'm probably the worst person ever. Seriously.

Wow, this takes guts: I remember watching 48 Hours Mystery (or whatever) and there were these sisters, 22 and 16.

They got kidnapped or something, and they wound up in this house. The "bad guy" said, "who wants to get raped?"

And the older girl offered herself to save her sister. It sounds cool to be able to say "yeah I could do that, of course I would" sort of thing, but when it comes down to it, when you're actually in that real life position, it's 1000 times harder.

No offense, guys, but I think rapists should be castrated. And the female rapists should have a cork plugged up their "hole" permanently. And child rapists should just out and out die.

Too much? perhaps. But there's a LOT of crap. Like, this priest tried to have sex with a 9 month old BABY. A BABY. Not only is that entirely SICK and WRONG and EVIL, but it could quite easily KILL the child.

but anyway. ^^

Uhm...

oh yeah, my sister is fucking HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! xD

She was talking about her grandma's house (1 block from mine ^^) after I told her this chick said it was cool looking.

She said, "WHAT? This house looks like a damn gay prison. It's pink, has bars on the windows and a concrete fence. AND IT'S GOT A GODDAMN PLASTIC DEER IN THE FRONT!!!" xD

Also, she was talking about how mean my dad is. "He always mumbles, I can't understand a thing he says!!! Then he yells at YOU to speak up when you talk just normal. But then, in a restaraunt, he talks so damn loud everyone in the place can hear what he's saying."

ROFL I love that girl so damn much. I guess it's funnier if she says it; she's funny.

Once, she and I were playing around. She had REALLY long hair back then (always braided). We were playing and I tied her hair to a ladder. When she got free and ahold of me, she hit me with her plastic ruler. xD then it broke, into THREE pieces!!!!!

But she taped it back together. she did a good job too. I asked her why she didn't just buy a new one. She looked at me all angry and said, "Why do you think???? I'M A POOR MEXICAN!!!"

xD she's not all Mexican; she's got a bit of Native American and German in there too. She thinks she's got some Asian, too, because she looks damn Asian...She looked more like it, though, when she was a baby.

Me, I'm mostly English/British on my dad's side, and mostly German (with some Polish, Swiss, Austrian, and other Germanic) on my mom's side. But I think I have some other stuff, like at least 1 person was a Native American and whoever else slipped in after all the years this family's bloodlines have been in America.

I asked my mom what side I resemble more, and she said the English side. Which would be my dad's. I guess it's a good thing. I can totally picture me looking like a fat German with blonde pigtails and liederhosen...holding 2 huge mugs of beer

**shudders**

What sort of heritage do you have, aside from your citizenship?thank you!
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