Friday, April 13, 2007

   how'd you get so big, how'd you get strong, how'd it get so hard, how'd it get so long?
I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!! Ruiner-NIN

ah, the unfairity of hit all!!! i haven't got school monday, and tuesday is a green day, which i can't ditch :( damn. i guess i'll be a bit late getting YEAR ZERO

**love**

nnn te...nothing new to say. I've been a bit into furuba lately. and yamato nadeshiko shichi henge.

i'm tired. and totally broke

Antonio says he'll take me to prom, and even rent a suit! O.O Bikkurishita!!!!!!

if we get okane, that is.

well. i'm bored. it's lovely weather, all snowy/rainy/whatever. it's cloudy and gloomy, so of course i'm glad about that.

I can't believe it's less than 5 months until i leave to go to college xD that's a big move, 1000 mile about. yaythank you!
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

how to (not) deal with depression
we were up to such tomfoolery so early in the morning <3 my sis and me (i love her)



I'm rabbit girl. super ugly looking especially there.

:(

anyway.

Today I did my presentation. It was a lot of fun, once I got the hang of NOT being nervous, and just sort of blanked everything out. i don't recall anything of it, really.

just fucking up on the FIRST PART of my Nihongo.

i just kind of slurred my "ohayou gozaimasu."

but gimme a break. this is what I said, (after that, flawlessly, though i took a restart after that slip up)
"ohayou gozaimasu! watashi no namae wa bainbridge julie desu! juunana sai desu. Koukou yonen-sei desu. Hima-no-toki de ongaku wo kikimasu. Suki na bando wa Nine Inch Nails desu. soshite, konsaato he ikimashita.

Mainichi Nihongo wo benkyoushiteimasu. Kyounen Nihon he ikimashita. Chotto taihen deshita demo samishii desu. Mama no Miyako wa oishii tabemono wo tsukaemashita. Ichiritsu-Funabashi koukou no tomadachi wa Keichin, Mizuho, Mika, to Yukiko. Karaoke wo shimashita. totemo tanoshikatta, demo Keichin to Mizuho wa honto jouzu deshita! Hazukashikatta ne!! Jaa, onegaishimasu!! Ganbatte ne!"

phew. it was a lot to say for all the more i really said.

but I can't believe it's over. I've looked forward to this for YEARS, since freshman year when i saw the seniors do theirs and I was like "OMG i can't wait."

now it's over. I've put every thought i've had into consideration for that presentation. it feels like such a finalization to high school

don't get me wrong; i'm glad its over. i just feel so...for some reason, adult. and sad to be saying goodbye to the people i love.

they all said some really nice things about me. I never knew i was in any bit humble, or gentle, or sweet, or motherly (as my Japanese teacher called me.)

i KIND of knew that i'm pretty individualistic. that came up a bit. i never thought of it as "the courage to accept myself and be happy being myself" because, as Linda said, "so many people are worrying about fitting in, and you just DON'T."

i was SO shy for that. people said so many nice things about me.

but i kind of hate to hear praise because it IS hard to hear, especially when you're vulnerable, and especially when it truly comes from the heart. usually, people say "i love you" or "you're good at ___" but, honestly, i don't trust it. it's like they're just kissing ass.

and then for mayte's presentation, i CRIED. like, a bit. i cried at mine a tiny bit, she cried a lot. i cried more at hers than mine, she less then. it was just weird seeing someone you've known for YEARS all grown up, and doing something only people older than you have. it was scary.

but she pulled through, both of us best friends did EXCELLENT, got 80/80. graduation, here we come!!!!!!!
thank you!
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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

   die die die dice
and mice.

well. BUSY!~ i've finished EVERYTHING (almost) that I need for graduation in the past week. IT'S DREADFUL. MY GRADUATION DEPENDS ON MY PRESENTATION TOMORROW!!!!! Death.

anyway just a few things to say.

Friday was fun; tacchan and I celebrated her birthday with an ultra fun sleepover xD which wound up with me sleeping next to the heater on the floor cos her bed is too small for both of us and it's lame to have a sleepover and sleep in different rooms

that day, we were both so damn TIRED, but i went over anyway. She spent about an hour or more on the phone with her BOYFRIEND (it's so cute, he's nuts. he screams randomly) on my cell phone, which was fine. I ran and took care of everything -pets and all- at my house while she did that. (i live a block away).

Then, we put cheese on her brother's stupid ass mercedes. it's a nice car, not really, i guess, but he shouldn't have spent the money when his kids need it.

then we went inside and decided to make YouTubes. It started out as boredom, turned into let's drink RockStar Energy Drink, which failed to make us hyper. We wound up making 4 silly "how to" videos on
"How to make tea"
"How to deal with your period"
"How to deal with depression"
"how to make cereal"

we made an opening and closing themes. I was rabbit girl, she was cat girl and the voice of gender confused "stuffy ducky" Piyoko. We were high off something, i guess. they're pretty stupid vids, come to think of it.

anyway. we went to go to bed about 1:30 am, i guess. but we stayed up til about 3 am talking about things. why are we always serious when we're dead tired and supposed to sleep?

Saturday i got furuba 16, and CRIED. Today, my friend Naoko in Japan sent me FURUBA 23 kan, the LAST ONE. I almost cried. It's so damn senitmental, though. sad, too, just cos it ended. but it was a cute ending

I've come to realize that I'm a VERY, VERY BITTERSWEET person. Everything is bittersweet to me. i hate getting attatched to things, cos they just end or die or leave or whatever. it makes me all emo, dammit. but i'm not too big on getting close to people. i do, but if they leave, or i leave, it's like..."whatever. I'm ALONE 98% of the time, anyway."

oh. more big news, i'll get pics up from my presentation perhaps tomorrow...I've got BLACK HAIR again. Nope, no more blonde for me, i'm back to faux natural!!! I've never been blonde before, and it wasn't so bad for an accident. but i like my DARK hair best. It makes me feel stronger. even if i look all emo.

heh. i've been watching Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge on Youtube a lot lately. I love the manga, and the anime is okay. I think the girl who does Sunako-chan's koe does a GREAT job. I'd never have imagined her sounding so cute or sweet or whatever, but it really works well.

anyway. I'm all beautified, i need my beauty sleep. those 3.5 hrs last night just didn't cut it

ganbatte ne!thank you!
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Sunday, April 8, 2007

   tears flowing like butterflies
sigh. Easter. It's not about the bunnies, or the eggs, or candy.

I hate candy on Easter. If I have kids, I'm SO not giving them candy. nasty! Fatty!!! not to mention it steals the real meaning of Easter.

I love it on the Family Guy where Peter is fighting with the guy in the chicken suit, and they come across the trix rabbit, and he's like "Damn long ears, stealing Easter from Jesus."

anyway. My dad's a prick. knows i hate to get food as a present, and gives me a $25 certificate to starbucks. I know, never look a gift horse in the mouth, and i'm not ungrateful. he just doesn't know anything about me (i voicerifously dislike starbucks.)

sigh.

Anyway. I got Furuba #16!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so happy. And then I read it, and the majority -the first part- is SO sad. It's about Touru's parents...damn.

So, her mom Kyoko was a juvenile delinquent, and her parents and she didn't get along. Then, in middle school, she met Katsuya, Touru's dad. At first, they had a very harmless relationship. She, of course, fell in love with him, a student teacher.

Then, he leaves, they go to the beach, and kinda hang out. She decides to straighten up and go to high school, he helps her study. And then, just before the high school exams, she leaves her gang, gets the shit kicked out of her, and winds up in the hospital, missing the exams.

once she gets discharged, her parents kick her out. On the doorstep, she sees Katsuya, who informs her parents and her that he wants to marry her. She's shocked, and thinks he said it just to be nice, but he really means it.

they fall in love. they get married. it's so sweet, and romantic. And they have Touru, it's so sweet to see Touru and Katsuya together.
Everything is so happy. so loving.

then, Katsuya gets sick, and dies suddenly. It tears Kyoko apart. she lives in a haze of despair and pain. she doesn't even care about living.

finally, she decides she wants to see Katsuya again, and takes herself to the sea to drown herself. Just as she's about to jump, a little girl's voice calls "mom!" it isn't Touru, but she then remembers her child, and runs home.

She takes more care in her child, and they live together happily for many years. She still wants to see Katsuya (i think), but she lives for Touru. Then, she dies one day.

It's so sad T.T

how sad? so sad that i CRY every time I read it. Why, i dunno. I guess i can empathize wtih that feeling of love and loss. I always have been able to, but I have no clue where it comes from.

Like, I can imagine. If the person I loved and thought we'd be together forever just died, i'd fall apart.

heh. **tears in eyes**

anyway, it sucks today. i got a BIG burn on my right hand. i was cooking, and BAM i hear sizzling and smell cooked flesh :(

i thought it was nothing, and first, and now it's about an inch long, .25 inch thick, raised like a blister, white, and my whole hand is turning red

haaaaaaaaa. it doesn't hurt much tho ^^

HAPPY EASTERthank you!
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Thursday, April 5, 2007

   if you do some damage to your internal organs, you got a shot
not much to say. i deleted the previous post. sorry.

i'm watching "married with children." hee hee the bundis...funny stuff

also eating dinner. tomato, green beans, fried shrimp, and DELICIOUS AVACADO

i love avacado!!!!!!! also, Menudo, chimichangas, enchiladas, tortas, burritos, tacos, and Mexican style frijoles. yummy!

it's weird. technically, i'm a white girl, but i can relate more to hispanic and asian cultures. I think it's cos i grew up around almost only Mexicans. i was adopted by them. my sister won't let me say i'm white

oooh and Mayte came back today!!!!!! i was so happy!!!!!!!! we talked. and I beat her up!!!

heh. she doesn't like Linda now, because Linda, who seems nice, was a total bitch to people in Italy (NOT the Italian people)

she got me a pretty necklace and a pretty fan. yay!!


Miss Kitty



oh noz!!! she's choking him

thank you!
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Wednesday, April 4, 2007

   Happy Birthday, Tacchan!!!!
yup yup. 17 today. I gave her an assload of presents. >>poor now<<

anyway. Nothing much to say. just gonna try to get my laptop set up soon, so...yay!

uhm. i love my new phone. it plays music.

my cat is annoying me, but i love her.

and...oh!!! I've put my application for university housing in the mail today!!! Portland State!!! It scares me to think that in about, oh, FIVE MONTHS i'll be in portland.

T.T I can't wait, but I'm gonna miss my mom, and my sister, and my boyfriend, and my PETS, and my dear friends SOOOO freaking much >< How will i live without them?

well, I know better than to build my life around a person. cos people leave and disobey and betray and hurt you.

^^

oh but they're back from italy now. mayte wasn't at school. but a person who shall remain nameless said the bigmouth Lupe was "doing the nasty" with her bf while there about SEVEN TIMES, and my best friend's bf walked in on it :x gross!! her bf is gross and she is gross.

i want to talk to mayte, now, and see how it went and hear all about it. Italy, that is. not Lupe. ew.


Ki'y-ki'y <3


my grandma's dog, Mia. not as scary as she looks


Alex, and Mayte. Mayte's so much fun XDthank you!
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Tuesday, April 3, 2007

   Nokia 5300
yay. I love my new phone. Antonio had to insult it as he played with it as soon as I brought it home, but nuts to him. I like it! It's fancy. And relatively cheap. I'm getting a skin pocket attatched to my skin so i can put important stuff in there. Like my social security card. where is that?

hrmmm...

i guess not much to say. My sister's birthday is on weds. yay!!!!!

mwahahahahaha, I laughed my ass off at my newspaper meeting today (well, after) because I was criticizing (can't spell) the book "CUT." the librarian reccommends it!!! i think it might give kids ideas to start cutting, hopefully to quit.

But 2 of my Newspaper freshman were so shocked to hear that I used to be a lil emo cutter with social issues that I showed them my arms (full of scars; probably more than 100 each =\)

LMAO! but when Yan said, "Damn, Julie! You look like a dishrag!" (dishtowel?)

and Daisuke goes "What the fuck?!"

I was practically doubled over laughing XD

**happy** hey, Graduation! to hell with responsibility, i'm getting the HELL out of high school. no more kids not caring about their grades, no more kids doing drugs(<< nevermind that, lots of college kids do drugs), no more stupid annoying little kids to get under my skin! No more lockers, no more senior room, no more nap time, no more nagging counselors, no more cheap, crappy school food! (now it's going to be expensive.)

Soon, it'll be NO MORE DENVER (for the better part of 10 months)!!!!!!!!

yikes.

enjoy these!


Mei Lan, the beautiful baby panda at Zoo Atlanta


My sister and my cat, Pickle


We're just being weird


We hate the sun

Nine Inch Nails: the Beside You In Time shirt <3


he almost ran away that day!!! **heart attack** chasing another cat off our yard, of course

Filthy habits!

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video of my cat rolling in the dirt

Stupid?

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my sister: You say I love you, I say you bettah!!!

XD I love that. And you'd be shocked how long it took her to say that right, what with her lack of a speech impediment or anything.thank you!
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Monday, April 2, 2007

   graaaaaaaaaasssssssssss
lol don't ask, because i don't know...

except that I'm going to be SUPER BUSY DAMMIT. In a week and a day, I have to do a presentation and complete my folder of EVERYTHING from High school. I'm freaking out. I'm half done. HALF!! that's nothing!! plus, i have to memorize what i am going to say...

**cries** why me...

oh well. all of us have to do it, and i've been looking forward to it since freshman year.

plus, last night i had to finish a part of my final for technical writing. oops, i should have started like a month ago...

i'm wearing green today; i feel so weak. hopefully i get a GOOD NEW PHONE todaythank you!
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Sunday, April 1, 2007

   what the F!!! kinda s!!! is that?!
...excuse my foul language!!! :X you should (not) hear me when i'm mad. or happy. or anything. I have a very naughty, perverted mind, and say indecent things.

but back to my question: it relates to that movie "Grindhouse" coming out...

WHY DOES THAT CHICK HAVE A GUN FOR A LEG??? how the hell does she walk?? How does she shoot it?? WHY???? it's just fucking stupid, that's all.

In related and possibly hypocritical news, i want to SEE "Grindhouse." don't ask me why. perhaps just to laugh at it.

Hopefully, it will have a better script/dialouge than "300." I mean, 300 in and of itself was an OK movie. Not particularly wonderful, but not horrible. Mostly, i just laughed at it. For the what, 2+ hours it was going, i constantly laughed. How can you not???

I mean, there are NIPPLES everywhere, the bad guy looks like a transie, the good guys look like they just popped outta playgirl, and the mutants are just stupid.

plus, that scene where the good guy (what's his name...the main character...) is standing in this window thing. It's night, a full moon, and a huge window view from their bedroom, and he's standing there, posing, deep in thought, BUTT NAKED! i mean, who does that? and then when he's "mating" his wife, it shows her all shivering and making noise and spazzing out (it's funny...) while he's like a stone (not trying to commend his manliness), all silent and hardly moving. damn. if i were that chick, i'd be like "what the hell?? act alive at least!!! most guys would be a little less stoic when they're getitn' some!!!!"

what's got me all pissed? damn. i'm not mad

last night i was. my dad is sick (ew), and so i was entrusted with cooking, as usual. I grilled some steak, cooked rice and peas, and made potato salad. and i made some hot tea for his throat. this was all ready at like 7, so i called him. he never came, and i ate without him. it tasted good too!!! i love cooking; i want to learn to cook more from scratch.

anyway. as to school, I know that money is the only real reason anybody does any better than anybody else. if one school can afford to disect pigs, and the other can afford to look at a vhs tape of pigs being disected, which kids are going to be more interested?

i LOVED disecting pigs... **sighs happily**

as to race, i say celebrate your culture and heritage and whatever. acknowledge it and embrace it. don't let it (or race) interfere with how you judge people or treat them.

anyway. i'm watching star trek. i must go kill something now. **twitch**

take care! thank you!
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Friday, March 30, 2007

   hunger!
mwahahahaha I'm back!!!

you may not have noticed my absence, due to the fact that i'm OFTEN gone for no apparant reason. Usually, I'm busy

Anyway, I was gone this time cos I was in Georgia!!! I was visiting my grandmother there. she's very nice, and I love her especially since she's nicer to me than my other grandma. But it drives me absolutely CRAZY how she's so "racially centered"

For example, you know she's talking about a white person if she just says "guy" or "gal." but anybody else is a "black lady" or a "black man" or whatever. I know she doesn't mean them ill will, but she IS afraid of black people, and she DOES look down on them. Which bothers me.

I know she's from the south, but damn. Plenty of people from the south don't care about that. she makes such a damn big deal over nothing.

Oh!!!!!! And here is my simple, brilliant theory over the vicious cycle of education.

as my grandma (whom I call Petesy) was saying, "well, i hate to say it, but it's a truth that the schools around here are all black and they're not very good..."

I said, "Well, at least in Denver (here's my theory: ), the schools with better performing students, and higher achieving students are the ones with RICH WHITE KIDS, whose parents can donate more money to them getting better books. Any poor school i've gone to has to buy inferior books and you can't keep them, and everything is just a lower quality. my physics book is basically useless because it's so bad, both in what it teaches, and in what it is."

I continued, "So if the students have crappier materials, it is harder for them to get a really good education. Imagine all the fancy stuff rich kids schools have. And then, those rich white kids' parents went to college, and so they can easily afford to send, and expect their kids to college."

it's easy to think of, but I had to say something. ><

speaking of school i don't wanna go back. it's hell!!!!!!! not really but I am just ready to graduate. I had dreams of graduation last night. strange ones. O.o

anyway again, in GA, I did get Wallflower #11, and Death Note #1 and #2...I just discovered Death Note, it's really good. I also got some Naruto. But i'll send the Naruto and Death Note to Japan, to my friend who wants manga in English.

Mostly, I got (and read) Lord of the Flies, and (haven't read yet) a couple books by Faulkner. He's awesome!!!!!!

alright, i must skoodle! toodles!thank you!
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